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From "the outside" looking in…

June 20th, 2008 No comments

Last night, I was lucky enough to get to attend a concert as a guest of one of the headliner’s band members. A group of us ladies got together and we all drove out to see the concert, and then we had All Access passes to visit our friends in the band after the show.

It felt equally weird and natural to me to do this.

The biggest thing that felt weird: my husband wasn’t there. I kept feeling like he SHOULD be there. For one thing, these guys we went to see are actually more his friends than mine. I know a few of them probably only know me as being his wife, and I am so okay with that! But for another, he’s a touring musician and he should be touring right now! And the fact that he’s not right now… my being at a show, backstage, without him there just made me feel a little sad. Because he thrives on the music, the travel, the energy of the fans, etc., and it feels like its been taken away from him for the time being. And that just makes me sad.

But, in the same breath of all of that, it feels weirder to go to shows and NOT be backstage these days. So in a lot of ways I felt completely at home. I go and end up taking notes more on what guys are playing, how the lighting is set, what the stage layout and set look like, listening to the mix, and then just watching the fans have fun. I think I almost blew my husband’s phone up sending him text messages all night!!

I know, now, how things go when putting on a concert. I understand things that I used to take for granted. Things that amaze some are just “the way it is” to me. And I like that it is that way! Concerts are still a ton of fun to attend! They always will be! I’m just saying that I see a lot of things I used to not see, and it feels less like a “special occasion” and more like just the way my life is.

Among all of it all, I got the pleasure of watching a band member and his wife interact after the show. I fear they felt I was staring! But, I’m very much someone who likes to watch people, and take in things like body language and the way people interact with each other. It’s interesting to me, and I’ve learned you can learn a lot if you just sit quiet, listen and observe.

Last night, as I watched the couple, I wondered often if others view me and my husband the same way. As a couple very much in love, and who know its a crazy life but embrace it with as much (if not more!) vigor as someone who has a regular 9-5 job. I wonder if I appear as at home and close with my husband’s band mates as this other “musician’s widow” is in her camp. I took notes on how she approached things, as she’s been in this life for much longer than I have been. I felt I could perhaps learn something through my observations.

In the end, I had a lovely time out with the girls. I saw a wonderful (intense!) show, and I got to get a taste of another camp that is out there pounding the pavement along with the many other acts touring the country today. It was fun! And I can’t wait to do it again… just next time: I want to be going to see own husband. ;)

Categories: other widows, point of view Tags:

When it rains, it pours…

June 11th, 2008 No comments

It’s been four months since I last posted, and life’s been quite the roller coaster in those months. As it always is, of course, but perhaps moreso than ever. I’ve stayed busy doing my thing. My husband was busy doing his thing. Now… we’re busy doing each of our things together.

See, a couple weeks ago, my husband ended his time with the artist he’d been working for over the last 10 months. It came as a surprise, but thankfully we’re in an okay place at the moment for it have happened. Mostly, it’s been frustrating and disheartening. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve become jaded with the music business in general. However, I won’t give up on it either.

There are other things in the works, though, and I firmly believe the adage that everything happens for a reason. We’re just not yet in a place to see what that reason may be… We may never be, honestly. But I know there is a reason.

In the mean time, my husband and I have been busier than ever with work. Last week was CMA Music Fest in Nashville. It kept us both hopping. It kept all of Nashville hopping. I think anyone who had anything to do with the event is still recovering, and will be for at least the rest of the week.

However, it was a great time to network, and it made me appreciate more than ever my blessings of having work to do and being able to do said work. (The gas prices these days remind me to be grateful for that as well!)

But, as my subject line states, when it rains it pours. During a solo this weekend, my husband blew a speaker. THE speaker in fact. So it must be fixed before he can gig again. Then on top of that, our washing machine went out in a fit of smoke. And our oldest cat is sick. I’m half waiting to see what is going to fall apart next!! But… I am honestly in a mode to have to just laugh about it. Because I know things will get better, and I know that God never gives us more than we can handle. So I keep my head high and my mood optimistic.

Oh don’t think I’ve not gotten down over the last few weeks — because I have. But getting down doesn’t fix anything. It just makes things more dismal. I prefer to be optimistic and proactive to get things back on track.

And to find the humor in most situations.