Monthly Archives: July 2008

other widows, update

Just a small update

I’ve spent a lot of time with some “newbie” “musician’s widows” as of late. It is indeed tour season, and many of “our men” are out on the road livin’ the dream. They talk about the time apart and how hard it is. I end up just nodding along… been there, done that. I will do it again. Preaching to the choir here. Preaching to the choir.

As I always tell them to remember… it’s always that first day or two that are the hardest. ESPECIALLY when its an extra long run, as they tend to be in the summer. You feel the void more than ever. Good-byes always are hard. But you do eventually get into a routine of your own, and time passes relatively quickly. It especially helps when you have friends you can see in the time he is gone.

I’m not really leaving that life these days so much. I’m getting used to having my husband at home! I’m downright spoiled, in fact, by having him here.

However, he also has his CDL and he co-drives whenever he’s out on the road. This weekend, he is helping a friend out by co-driving for Montel Williams (of all people!). It’s a short run for him, but it gave me a taste of “the life” again for a few days. I have so much work to do these days that this time has passed quickly, and he’ll be home tomorrow evening.

We’re embarking on a new endeavor that could prove to change our lives dramatically. It already is in a way, and we’re welcoming the challenge with excitement. I will possibly be posting about it more at a later date, but until that time… we just keep on keepin’ on.

downtown, ironic musings, point of view, rants

"People"

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With my husband currently not on the road — still shopping for a new artist gig — he’s working harder than ever, grabbing gigs in downtown Nashville in the bars and clubs along Broadway and in Printer’s Alley.

The best part of it all is that he’s home at the end of the night every night. I get to see and spend time with him every day of the week, and for that I do feel very grateful. I am accustomed to the “widow” life of seeing my husband leave for days or weeks on the road, and I know that as soon as he gets a new gig we’ll fall right back into that pace of life. So I am savoring this time together with more fervor than anyone knows, because it could change tomorrow.

The worst part of it, is that he’s working over twice as hard for less pay. We’re having to “tighten up the boot straps” quite a bit, and it’s exhausting going six nights a week. But in that same vein, and I grateful for there being work to do. Many people are getting laid off in their industries, and at least he (we) still has work to do. I give myself that reality check almost daily. Reminding myself that even when I’m tired and want a vacation, I need to instead of grateful to have work and to still be able to pay the bills.

Somewhere in the middle of it all has to be “people.” It’s frustrating to see people (ie the crowd) treat his speakers and keyboard cases like their chairs or drink holders. There is no regard for personal property — for the tools needed for him to do his job. At times I want to ask people if they’d like for me to set my beer on their laptops or blackberrys. If I can perch upon their copy machines. They’d probably be appalled, but in a round about way its the same idea.

In a similar vein, I came in with a group of friends to watch my husband play last night. Slowly, one by one, they meandered off to head home, tired from their work days. Soon, there was only me at the table…

But that never lasted long, as one by one I got hit on by men. It was flattering, yes. (Where were all these men when I was single??) But slowly it grew annoying.

Can a woman not sit at a table alone in a bar and not be needing male company? All were very polite and respectful once I explained the my husband was in the band, and that I was there to see him play. But at the same time, it made me want to find a shirt that said, “Married and with the band. Don’t bother. Save your breath and creativity to find the right line.” I amuse myself some times.

In every business, you deal with the good, the bad and the… frustrating. And every day you go back to your job knowing you’ll have to deal with it all over again. Tonight, my husband will haul his gear back into yet another bar and see his equipment get “disrespected.” I’ll go along, helping to move gear and enjoy a night of good music and people watching… and probably at some point try to politely get someone (male, female, sometimes a whole group of friends there to party) to understand why I am there and that, no, I do not need to be taken care of because I am alone.

My husband does it for his love of music, as well as to pay the bills. I come along for both my own love of music, but mostly for my love and support of my husband. It’s a hat I wear (along with “writer, designer, daughter, sister, friend, etc.)… and it’s the one I am most proud to wear.