I used to keep a daily journal on the LiveJournal site. It still exists (the journal) since I purchased a Permanent Account years ago. I still update it periodically, but on a whole I’m too busy living life to really write about it daily. I wish I did still update regularly, though, since its fun to go back and read where I was on a given day. Plus, I made a lot of really good friends on the LJ site, and I’d like to keep in touch better.
The problem with writing sometimes is that you lose a person’s emotional reactions as they tell a story. You can’t see a smile or hear a laugh. You can’t see the tears rolling down their cheeks as they recount something that happened. So to compensate, I would try to augment my writing with smilies or “LOL” or things like *wink* to help bring a story to life. (I probably should have relied more on my writing style than that, but its a journal… I could/can do what I want.) I wanted to try to make it more like I was speaking the story than writing it.
I can’t hide my emotions very well. If I am happy, you’ll see it in my eyes or in a big smile. I love to smile! If I am upset, I might not come out with it, but you’ll know as I withdraw. My husband can always tell when I am upset, because I get quiet. Even when we chat via IM, he can just tell in how I type when my mood is down.
I’m non-confrontational. If I am upset with a person, or I just want to be left alone, you’ll see it in how I interact with you. I’ll be stand-off-ish. I might refuse to look you in the eye. I don’t WANT to show how I feel, but I can’t hide it either. I refuse to be fake, and even if I force a smile it’ll never reach my eyes.
Be it in text or in person, I find it hard not to convey my emotions. Perhaps that’s not always best, but at least I am true to myself.
Post based on today’s NaBloPoMo prompt:
Are you good at hiding your feelings or is your face an open book?
I thank God for LJ. In the days of twitter, pinterest and facebook, where everyone can see pretty much everything, I appreciate the small circle of friends on LiveJournal. I unfriended a bunch of people on there even though I’m still actually friends with them in real life! I just don’t want them reading what I’m posting, and it’s easier to have a small group and leave the default privacy settings as “Friends.” Coming out of hiding is a good theme for more than just writing. :)
Thank you for this very candid post. I see myself in the emotional side of this. But I guess I also so wish I kept some sort of journal, because I so agree that going back to see where you were on a given day is a treat. But then we sort of journal to each other everyday with our phone calls. Thank you so much for that. Love you!!