Musician's Widow

CMA Fest wrapped up three four days ago, and I think everyone has recovered. Or at least close to recovered. Nashville got a much needed shot in the arm economically, and country music fans got a much needed chance to meet their favorite stars. It was a win/win week.

Well. Except for the heat. And the lack of parking. But otherwise, it was great!

Music fans enjoy free shows at the Riverfront Stages

For me, this was the first year since moving to Nashville that I didn’t have to be down at CMA Fest, either to work or to see my husband play. So, while every day I intended to go downtown, every day something more pressing came up close to home. However, Sunday, I made it a priority to go see what this year’s CMA Fest had to offer.

I had heard the nightmare stories about parking being non-existent from friends, but by Sunday things had died down some. Parking was no problem, much to my delight. However, the heat was just as bad as I had heard it was.

I was born and raised in Texas. I can “take” the heat. However, despite drinking plenty of water and wearing a loose sundress, the heat did start to get to me after awhile. It made me shorten my time at CMA Fest dramatically, in fact.

This guy wanted to save souls. All he did was get on nerves.

However, here’s the thing I love about CMA Fest: people watching. Mostly, its watching the families that are out doing this big event together. On one corner, a man had a microphone preaching about how everyone there was going to go to hell, and how everyone there is a sinner for even being there! I briefly wanted to ask the man what he thought was so bad about families going out to an event together and enjoying an afternoon together? I could see no harm in it whatsoever! It was amazing to me to see so many teens and kids NOT buried in a video game.

My husband and I both mused, though, at one point after he had walked along the Riverfront, down Broadway to Bridgestone Arena, and then over to Shelby Street Bridge: for once it was pure country coming out of all the bars on Broadway… and on the big stages was… well… “Rockin’ Country” I guess you’d call it. In other words, music that was only called country because they brought a fiddle or a steel player along. Not because it was actually what we would define as country. But, hey, I learned a long time ago… the music business is my life. It doesn’t mean I can always make sense of it!

That being said, there is one thing I do understand: music fans love their music. And that was what it was all about, no matter what. A love of music and a chance to experience a very cool festival that happens only once a year.

Me and George Strait! haha!!

My husband and I went to one of our favorite “watering holes” to cool down after walking around for awhile. We’ve become regulars there, so we stopped to visit with the bartender for awhile. I asked him how the week had been, and he said simply, “Amazing.” He couldn’t get over how incredibly nice everyone had been all week, and they had definitely had a good week sales-wise!

“You hear horror stories all year about CMA Fest,” he said. “But I don’t know what that was all about. Everyone who came in this place was great. They all have great stories, and they’re all just so happy to be here. I’ve loved it!”

I love it, too, and I’m sorry I didn’t make it down for more of the events this year. A friend is talking about coming to CMA Fest next year, and I hope she does! It’ll give me an excellent excuse to go, too.

Yes it was incredibly hot. Like I briefly said, I cut my time downtown short due to the heat getting to me. And parking downtown is a pain even on a quiet weekend. But at the end of it all… CMA Fest is just a cool thing country music and Nashville does for its fans. I love that fact. I love this city. So, you know, I’m already looking forward to next year!

This last weekend, I went to two shows to spend the weekend with my husband. He had shows in Katy, TX and then Poteet, TX — about three hours apart from each other — and a no-brainer for me to attend.

Now, before I continue with my story, two things I want to note:

1) No, I don’t “go on the road with the band.” I get that question a lot, and the short and simple answer is, “No.” Now, I know there ARE some acts that do take musician’s wives on the road with them, atleast here and there. However, I’ve not really done it myself.

I’ve hitched a ride on the bus twice. Once when I needed to go to Texas and my husband had a show close to my destination. So instead of flying, the artist he was with at the time allowed me to catch a ride with them down. Then another time I caught a ride to Nashville from Texas. I did get to go to Hawaii for a week with my husband on a gig,too. But past that, if I am at a show, its because I’ve taken myself there, and I’m taking myself back home.

2) This is the second time I’ve done a “two show weekend” to see my husband. Only the last time was about six years ago, and we weren’t even flirting with dating. Ironically, the travel time between those two shows was almost twice the time between the shows this last weekend.

So all that said, back to my story. I went to the show in Katy, and it was the first time I’d seen my husband in a month. I was beyond excited, and I made sure to enjoy every minute of the weekend.

A bonus of the trip is the fact that I genuinely really just love the group my husband is with right now. So I was also excited to get to hang out with these guys that I consider friends myself, and the really cool thing? They were SO aware and accommodating of the fact that my husband and I hadn’t seen each other in so long. A fact that did not go unnoticed and unappreciated.

At the show that first night, I was standing side stage, and when the band was introduced, I was introduced right along with my husband! It’s happened about three times now, and its not something I ever expect to have happen. In fact the first time, I turned bright red (we had JUST gotten engaged that time) and almost ran out of the showroom! I didn’t know how to react! This time, when I was told to, “Wave to the crowd!” I did with a giggle and… what can I say?? It was REALLY COOL!! REALLY cool. I am pretty sure I was beaming. LOL! How can you NOT be blown away by that and get, well, a thrill?

After the show, some fans went and got all the band members to sign a t-shirt… and they asked ME to sign it. “We’ll make you famous too!” they said.

I declined at first, but at their insistence, I signed below my husband’s signature. Bizarre much? Yeah. Definitely. And absolutely something I’m amused about, but let’s face it. I’m certainly not going to let it go to my head, and at the end of the day the only person I care to get recognition from is my husband. I’m his biggest fan, and I have this wonderful fulfillment knowing he’s mine.

THAT is all that matters.

July 4, 2009

My  husband had a show this July 4th only four hours away from Nashville in Rogersville, TN. My parents are visiting from Texas, and so we made the trip to see him play. East Tennessee is absolutely beautiful, so it was a treat to make the drive out, and its always fun to see a show!

After a fantastic concert, we settled in to watch the fireworks. I was about to sit down on my lounge chair backstage when a man standing at the barricade asked me to come over. My initial thought was, “Oh no…” already anticipating a request for an autograph.

Now, I don’t make promises that I could even remotely fill such a request… especially since generally such a request is frowned upon. Or at least it always has been with past artists. My husband is still the “new guy” and I don’t want to make waves. So it was definitely with trepidation that I approached him.

Within moments of walking up, I was handed a military ID, and told that he had just gotten back from Afghanistan and would be returning in 28 days. He’d traveled himself from Nashville specifically hoping to meet Joe Diffie (whom my husband works for). He asked if I could possibly make that happen.

I paused a bit, but I decided the least I could do is try. So I headed towards the bus… not entirely sure what to do. I was saved when I saw the tour manager coming at me.

So, starting with, “please don’t hate me…” I explained the situation. And much to my pleasant surprise, he said he’d ask Joe! While I waited, two women approached me asking if Joe would be doing an autograph session after the show, then asking who I was, etc. I was, quite frankly, blind sided by them… and it is also people like these two women that make me hesitant to speak with show attendees. Its questions being shot at me rapid fire that will fluster me, and in turn irritate.

I was TICKLED when the tour manager came off the bus to say that Joe definitely wanted to talk to the man, and I lead him over and introduced them.

Over the course of about the next hour, I had the opportunity to interact with the soldier several times, learning he was originally from Texas — attended my rival school of University of Texas — and that he had come home on leave with many injuries. Shrapnel in his leg, a broken finger, bite wounds on his hand, etc. The fireworks freaked him out (understandably so!) but his kids loved it.

Finally, when he met Joe, he told several stories of things he had experienced while in Afghanistan. And afterwards, he came over and thanked me profusely for taking him seriously and making it happen that he got to meet Joe.  He hugged me several times and gave me a kiss on the cheek (telling my husband that if he pointed out that he’d just kissed an Aggie they’d tussle right there!), and all I could keep saying was, “No… thank YOU for all you do.”

The experience of meeting this soldier was a highlight of my July 4th. Getting to thank a soldier… we should all have the opportunity to do that. They are the true heroes.

I can’t get to upset. I’ve been guilty of it myself.

Fans waiting to get into a show, Fan Fair 2008

That assumption someone remembers your name even though you only see them once in awhile.

This week is CMA Music Fest in Nashville, better known as Fan Fair. It’s honestly one of my favorite weeks of the year, even though it means little sleep and being on your A-game at all times. I thrive under pressure! This is the week in which country music fans descend upon Nashville to get up-close to their favorite artists and get a taste of Music City.

However, its also the time I always make SOMEONE angry. How? I don’t remember them from the year before.

Last year was the worst in which one woman spent an entire night shooting daggars at me, because I dared have no idea who she was… even though she’d met me at this artist’s show in this random city on this random day and we talked for fifteen minutes.

I sincerely try to remember people’s names and their stories. However, especially living in Nashville, I meet literally hundreds of people a year. I am going to forget someone’s name in there. I’m not perfect. I never claim to be.

I feel for my husband and all the musicians. They have is 10000xs worse. Especially if they’ve worked for multiple artists over the years. They have a lot of fans they’ve met over time. Most of the time, there IS facial recognition. But remembering a name and city can often require a little help.

I love that fans remember so vividly ever details of a conversation they had with an artist or their band (or the occasional wife). I did it too for years. I am just as guilty of assuming that the other person remembered me just as vividly! However, the fact of the matter is, its just not possible to remember EVERY conversation. At least not for me. Try as I might, I often can’t remember what someone ordered to eat from me an hour earlier if I’ve made ten hot dogs since then!

I don’t want to offend anyone, so I propose that during Fan Fair, every visitor be given a “Hi! My Name is…” sticker to wear, with an extra line of, “…and I’m a fan of…” at the bottom. I sincerely don’t mean this to be mean, but please… Country Music fans, cut everyone here some slack. We’re REALLY glad you’re here — everyone from the artists to the musicians to the bartenders to the cab drivers — but we’re also not perfect. Please don’t be offended if you initially get a blank stare when you see someone you know. We mean you no offence. We’re just frantically going through our mental Rolodex… and sometimes that takes awhile.