Photo by Eddie~S

So Punxsutawney Phil has informed us that its 6 more weeks of winter. Like almost all of my Facebook friends, I can handle more of this kind of winter… mild temps that resemble Spring more than Winter.

I’m no meteorologist, but I think we still have a lot of Winter to go… it’s just going to be late. I could be wrong, but that’s my official non-meteorological opinion.

Groundhog day never ceases to amuse me, though. Even before I ever saw the movie Groundhog Day, I found particular amusement with this “holiday.”

A rodent is going to decide the weather. Uh-huh. Sure.

Of course, as a kid who liked playing outside, I’d root for rain that day, so no shadow would be seen and summer would come quicker. Some particularly long winters, I’d deep down hope this hocus pocus was real. Whatever happened on Feb. 2nd in Pennsylvania would dictate if I’d be outside playing on the swings sooner or later.

Then, I saw the movie Groundhog Day and Feb. 2nd was never the same. It became more about if the day would repeat over and over again, versus if the groundhog saw his shadow. The movie made the day even more amusing than it was before!

Life is so serious, though. I think that’s why days like Groundhog Day are so endearing. What other day can a group of grown men wear top hats and see if a rodent can see his shadow? What other day can we all find this level of simple, lasting entertainment in the hum-drum days of winter? For me, Groundhog Day isn’t about the weather or a movie. It’s about finding a little bit of amusement in ourselves and our history.

Winter will end when it ends. The groundhog is going to go back to bed, pissed off he was awakened in the first place. And we’re all going to go back to the daily rhythm of things that we’ve grown accustomed to once again. But for today? Let’s have a little giggle.

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Photo Credit: Eddie~S

This was the 10th New Year’s Eve I’ve spent with my husband.

We rang in…
2003: Billy Bob’s Texas, Ft. Worth, TX
2004: Cowboys Red River, Dallas, TX
2005: Sixth Street, Austin, TX
2006: Jubitz, Portland, OR
2007: Flag Hall, Cyclone, TX
2008: Lexington, KY
2009: Fiddle & Steel, Nashville, TN
2010: Flag Hall, Cyclone, TX
2011: Fiddle & Steel, Nashville, TN
2012: Fiddle & Steel, Nashville, TN

This was the first year that we BOTH worked the night, which meant we were together, but not. My husband taking the cover charge at the door; me, slinging drinks behind the bar.

It was a crazy  night, a bigger New Year’s Eve than I’d seen in… well… ever. SO many people downtown Nashville, and it got scary to look up at the bar patrons. Lined four deep, it got overwhelming at times, trying to keep up with the demand. We ran out of most of our beer, and we actually called it a night a little bit early.

Didn’t help much, as we still didn’t leave the bar until 5:30 am… but I have to say, I can’t think of a more satisfying way to open 2012. Working hard as the clock struck midnight. Lets hope this year is full of hard, satisfying work, where we end it looking back feeling like we’ve been successful in all our endeavors.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Eventually, however, that ceased to happen. And since then, I have given each year end a little bit of a cursory nod, but never the kind of attention I once gave. I’d like to say that this year will be different, that I’ll go month-by-month again. But, I can’t say that, because I, frankly, just don’t have time to go that in depth. I do, however, want to give this year some closure.

My  mom sent me an email with a newsletter giving ways to bring closure to the year. In it, Mike Robbins writes about how we need to give one year closure before we jump into the next one with all these hopes for where it will lead.

Last year at this time, we were in the process of moving. I was forced to find closure on the previous three years of living in the house we were in, and I embraced 2011 with hope and optimism as change was going on all around me. My address changed, and so did many ways I viewed various things. This year, though, I feel like I’m just rolling into 2012 without much fanfare. Its just another year. January 1st, just another day. I don’t really have optimism, but I don’t feel dread either. I’m a bit ambivalent to the whole thing.

So perhaps I am one who has a bigger need to find closure to 2011 than I would normally be as a year comes to a close. I thought I’d tackle the four questions found in Robbins’ newsletter.

1) What were my biggest lessons in 2011?

Absolutely the strong difference between want and need was my biggest lesson. This past year was a rebuilding one, financially, for my husband and myself. With that, I also learned the deep satisfaction that comes with paying for items with cash. I learned how to NOT live on credit and instead was reminded what it meant to put your money in a jar (or in my case, a big envelope) until you’d saved up enough money to purchase that great big WANT.

I learned my love for photography really can be more than just a hobby. I found a deep interest in the creative process of bringing music to life, and I discovered a potential market for documenting that process. I caught myself critiquing other’s photos with a better eye than just, “Oh that’s pretty!” and I soak in how other’s approach photography — both in what to do and what NOT to do.

On the writing side, I finally learned and held my first giveaways. I learned about how social networking in person can help you in the online world. I discovered even more strongly the kindred spirits I have in other bloggers.

Medically, I have learned an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If I will stay on a strict regimen for my sinuses, I won’t be so crippled by infections. You’d think I’d have known that already, but I REALLY learned it this year.

2) What am I most proud of from this past year?

See question 1. I am most proud of the fact that my husband and I ended the year without accruing any new debts. (Outside of an ER bill.)

I am proud that I have embraced myself as a writer and a photographer, not just as “trying to get into it.” I am proud that I’ve kept this blog going and its continuing to pick up traffic and grow consistently. I am super proud of the work I did on Rick’s CD, leading me even deeper down the photography path.

Finally, I am proud of becoming a biggest piece of our work-puzzle. Working more consistently has given me a nice feeling of satisfaction. I’ve met so many interesting people, many of which I’d have never met had I not been behind the bar this year.

3) What were my biggest disappointments in 2011?

I set the bar high for myself. I may not admit that out loud to anyone, but deep down I always set it high. While my blog does continue to grow, its growing slower than I’d like for it to grow. I am disappointed that I haven’t gone to any blogger conferences, nor attended any photo walks. I once again failed to complete NaNoWriMo.

I fully thought I’d be further in making photography profitable for myself, but I have to acknowledge there is still a lot more expense I need to go into first to really get that off the ground. Baby steps… even if I don’t want them to be.

On a personal note, I do wish we were closer to being able to purchase our own house, or maybe be back to two vehicles. And I had hoped we’d be more solidly ready to take steps towards starting a family.

4) What am I ready to let go of from this past year?

My disappointments for the year. They are heavily outweighed by the lessons and successes of the year. When many people look back on 2011, they call it a bust. When I look back on it, I call it a success. Maybe I didn’t grow to the levels I had hoped I would, but I sure didn’t backslide for a change!

But perhaps that is where I don’t feel this big surge into the new year. I didn’t necessarily grow “big time” this past year, but I didn’t backslide. I didn’t stagnate, but I think I easily could do that right now. Just go with the status quo as it stands now, content with where I am for awhile. But I don’t WANT to do that. I want to keep striving forward. I want to keep pushing. I want to build a positive momentum from here on out. And maybe… maybe I am afraid I won’t do that?  Hmm…

5) What else do I need to do or say to be totally complete with 2011?

This might sound bizarre to some people, but I need to clean out my closet. I need to clear out old things physically to be ready to clear them out mentally and emotionally. I may have to actively do this on the 1st since I won’t have time today to do it. But, I need to do something like that…I need to physically let go of things. I need to clean. I need to rearrange a room. Something like that.

⚝

Happy New Year, everyone. See you all in 2012…

My Christmas is not over. Not until I say it is. And I’m not saying it yet.

No, in my family, we usually kept Christmas alive until at least January 1st. The tree stayed lit. There were Christmas goodies left to eat. All the presents were just as new as the day we opened them. Christmas was not over just because the calendar said so.

I am not a fan of starting Christmas too early. Stores start stocking Christmas decor before Halloween, and that is just WRONG. Thanksgiving deserves its own attention, and Christmas can get its own attention in turn. Again, I do not want to rush Christmas… neither in starting it, nor in ending it.

So yesterday, as we took off on a ride through the country, the adventure felt just as much a part of Christmas as did wrapping presents and baking cookies. In fact, we picked up a gift for the people watching our house for us while we are away. (Hey, I do NOT leave my house unattended for an extended period of time… robbers take note. I have people watching over my house, and they have guns and know how to use them. So there.) We even went to look at Christmas lights on the way back home!

But it was while we were shopping that I saw it. I saw the biggest travesty of them all.

VALENTINE’S DAY THINGS ARE OUT ON STORE SHELVES!

There was a lady stocking the card section of the grocery store and I really wanted to go over, yank the cards out of her hands and give her a big, “What. The!?!?!?” if I didn’t know she was just doing her job and probably found the action just as stupid as I did.

I mean. I love Valentine’s Day. Sure. But its DECEMBER 26th!!!! No one has ended their Christmas goodies hangovers yet! Heck some of us are still working on them! And we still have New Year’s Eve to celebrate! And… and… just… c’mon! Really!?

(Can you tell by the sheer use of exclamation points above how very, very wrong I find this entire thing to be?)

I’m appauled. I’m disappointed. I’m reaching for another sugar cookie and peppermint schnapps flavored hot chocolate to drown out my sorrows. Christmas isn’t over to me, yet. We aren’t even in the next year yet. Please don’t rush the next holiday.

Please?

About a week ago, I saw a friend pin the cutest Santa Hat Brownies, and I declared that I would have to make them. I followed the link to read how to make them, and then I decided to give it a go. I used a brownie mix, store-bought icing and strawberries. I don’t have the time or equipment or patience to go through all the steps to make them from scratch. Forgive me my laziness there.

I had SO MUCH FUN making them! The most fun part was figuring out how to cut out the brownie bites. I used a shot glass!! A lot of humor a couple times as I couldn’t get the brownie out of the glass. I was glad no one was videoing me trying to shake it out.

Are they as pretty as the original pin? No. But they were made with love, fun and a whole lot of Christmas spirit. I hope everyone likes them at the Christmas party tomorrow night!!

 YUM!

Our stockings are hung by the chimney with care...

My husband and I started the process of decorating for Christmas. Informed that our neighborhood goes “all out” at Christmas, we realized we’d need to step it up a bit this year.

We headed to the store and picked up a few items we knew we’d need. A few new strings of lights, some extension cords, and a spotlight for a new cutout we have to set out in the yard. Then when we got home, we dug out all the boxes of decorations we already had.

I started to go through the boxes, getting a few things out to go ahead and put up in the house and getting other things ready to put up later. As I dug into the biggest box of decor, my heart sank.

Earlier this year, our basement flooded with about two inches of water. I wasn’t the least bit worried about the big plastic tote we had our decorations stored in safely. Everything would stay dry.

I had no idea, the bottom of the tote had cracked. Decorations that hold countless sentimental memories for me were either covered in mold or their boxes were practically eaten through with mold. I briefly reminded myself that this was nothing like the May 2011 flood that people went through here in Nashville, but still… as I threw out a few items that just couldn’t be salvaged, my heart broke a little. As I carefully cleaned the nutcrackers that were my grandmas, I realized there is a good chance this could be their last year if I didn’t get it all cleared off their bright red and green painted uniforms.

Several ornaments that were salvageable had boxes that were not… boxes that had the years I’d gotten them written on them. I threw the boxes in the trash with a sigh, but was grateful the ornament inside was okay.

Tomorrow I will go through ornaments that look okay from the outside. I’ll find out if they’ll join ones that weren’t okay.

Oh, I know I could look at it as an excuse to buy new decorations. But for me, Christmas is more about MAYBE buying one or two new items, using the old, well-loved decorations year after year. It’s a time to remember our past and the loved ones tied to those items. Ornaments exchanged with friends through the years. Decorations passed down from my parents and grandparents. Newer ones, bought or received as newlyweds. Christmas isn’t about whats new… its more about what’s old to me. Making the day’s mold discovery downright devastating.

It’s not the end of my world, though. I salvaged well over 3/4 of my decorations, but I am braced for some to not make it another year in case any mold was missed in my cleaning. I’ll just enjoy them extra this year, and reminisce to my heart’s desire.

I always say that’s a good thing, though. It leaves you things to do “next time.” And I figure it you don’t leave wishing you had more time… well… that’s not good. I always want to leave wishing for more time.

Thanksgiving just hasn’t been long enough. I’d love a few extra days to go and do this or that. Especially since I fought a cold the entire trip. Its hard to do it all and enjoy it all when you have chunks of time when all you want to do is lay down and sleep! Ugh!

But, I enjoyed every moment of my time with family, and I look forward to the next time!

Today we slept as late as we wanted. Got up. Ate leftover. Then slowly got ready to get out of the house.

We went to visit friends for awhile (what better tag to Thanksgiving with family is there than visiting friends!?). Then we headed out to do… just whatever.

Did we do a little shopping? Yes, I admit it. We did pick up a few things while we were out. Things we absolutely needed, and we got to the stores well after dark, when they’d cleared out and back to “normal.” Oh okay, some of the employees at the stores were grumpy and the stores were picked over pretty good. But for us, it was fun and not the least bit stressful!

We had a lovely dinner out, then took our time coming back to the house together. Not a single stressful second in the day.

And I loved it.

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*Okay, so not everyone is violent with it. And I have heard of several people who do the whole Black Friday midnight shopping this as just a way to spend one-on-one time with certain loved one. And I can totally get behind that.

I was blessed to spend the day with family. Hubby, Mom, Dad, my brother, sister-in-law, nephew and niece. We had supper together…  Turkey, dressing, sausage, tamales, green bean casserole, rolls, deviled eggs, fruit salad, cake, pumpkin pie, cherry pie, apple pie, cookies, etc.

We watched the last Aggie vs. Texas game… the nail biter to the end. I am disappointed with the outcome, but my heart smiled at the respect shown between the players and coaches of the two teams. (Though I am saddened to know with certainly that respect won’t extend into the stands. It sure didn’t on Facebook!)

A late birthday song and gift exchange occurred for me, my husband and Mom… all of us with birthdays only days apart.

My heart is happy tonight. Despite a painful, disappointing loss of my football game… my heart is still happy. I have so very much to be thankful for today, and thankful, I am.

I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more. – John Adams

I’m spending July 4th alone. And that is a choice I’ve made. I’ve been invited by a big group of friends to a party with lots of food and a view of the downtown fireworks display… but after a lot of deep thinking, I’ve decided to just spend the day on my own.

Now, a day alone isn’t exactly “special” for me. I spend days alone a lot. (Hence that whole “musician’s widow” thing.) However… that’s just an example of my personal independence, and I guess you could say tomorrow is my chance to celebrate that for myself.

Oh I bought the fixin’s for chili cheese dogs yesterday. And I absolutely HAD to have a watermelon. Even though they were way over priced, in my opinion, I had to have it. They had me over a barrel. However, I plan to clean my house. Do laundry. COMPLETELY reclaim my office. (That’s the BIG goal right there!) Things that I somehow just can’t bring  myself to do any other day. This is what I want to do.

If my husband were home, we’d be out at the party with our friends. No doubt about it. We’d bring beer and a side dish or dessert. We’d pack up some tiki torches and lawn chairs. We’d be right in the thick of it. But, since my husband is working, I find myself wanting to instead just lay low. It’s not a dig against our friends, and I pray they don’t take it as such. I just… I just really want the day to do my own thing. Reflect on the day in my own way. It’s going to be my own personal “Independence Day.”