Musician's Widow

If you search my Flickr photostream for the word “Fall” you get 136 photos back… a lot when you consider that I’m pretty sure I’ve failed to tag all my fall photos with “Fall” and I’ve only been seriously keeping up my Flickr page for about three years.

Growing up in Texas, Fall basically meant football season. The temperatures would go from sweltering to warm with the occasional chill in the wind. Past that, Fall = Football. Period.

Oh okay, it meant a bunch of birthdays, Halloween and Thanksgiving. And school pictures. But past that? Fall colors were what you saw only by cutting out construction paper leaves. You saw them in decorations bought at arts & crafts fairs. Or you saw them in magazines and on TV. But in Texas? It just goes summer leaves to no leaves at all in the blink of an eye. No magical color change.

Then I moved to Tennessee.

I still remember I had just recently moved here, and I was driving to our apartment from the store and I was struck by the colors all around me. I called my brother to squeal on his voicemail about how pretty it was. I don’t know why that memory remains with me, but it does.

Fall tends to not love me back. I get a yearly sinus infection, and I end up staring out the window at the pretty in misery. But it never stops me from still anticipating the season with glee.

My first visit to a "pumpkin patch" in 2006

Pumpkin patches to visit. Corn mazes to traverse.

There’s Pumpkin Spiced Lattes to drink.

Its time to get out warmer clothing.

And the colors… oh the colors! It starts with a little tinge of color in a tree here and a tree there. Then you start to notice all the trees are slowly changing from green to reds, yellows and oranges. The leaves that have already fallen crunch under your feet as you walk through the grass, and they speckle the drive way with their brilliant beauty.  Sometimes when the wind blows, they fall around you like glitter.

My husband and I like to go on drives through the country to look at all the colors. Those construction paper leaves of elementary school have nothing on the real thing! I stare out the window — be it my living room window or the passenger side window of our truck — in awe. Mesmerized by the changes this season brings.

We’ve had our first freeze warning of the year… though the extreme cold is short lived for now. We’ll be back in the 70s this weekend, just in time for a group trip to a corn maze where we’ll laugh and get lost among the cornstalks. A hayride will make us feel like kids again, and a cup of apple cider will warm the soul as much as the tummy.

Yes, Fall is definitely my favorite season of the year. And I plan to enjoy everything I can about it before winter gets its grip on the area.

Five years ago, I moved to Nashville. Five years ago October 3rd, or so my old private journal tells me. Of course, its kind of weird to say that, since between October 3, 2006 and our wedding in January, I spent about as much time in Texas as I did in Nashville due to wedding planning, etc.

Anyway, I thought I’d share my moving recap from my private journal. As I said, I moved on October 3rd, but just a couple days later I was already headed back to Texas… in one of my very few actual trips on the tour bus…

01:51 am October 3rd, 2006

Well. I’m all packed up and ready to roll. All that is left is a few things that I need tomorrow and then Sully.

I was in a reflective mood all day, and I was also a little snippy. I’m excited to be going! But I’m also… I dunno. Not sad, really. But I’m definitely… reflective.

Anyway, keeping this short. Gotta go to bed. Headed Nashville-way tomorrow! Should be there tomorrow night. :)

03:28 am October 4th, 2006

Made it to Nashville fine. Will give better update tomorrow when more coherent. But we’re here and all doin’ fine.

04:38 am October 7th, 2006

I’m writing this somewhere in Alabama. At least that’s what my cell phone cames back with when I do a “Find Me” on my Weather Channel application a little while ago. We might be in Mississippi already. I have no idea.

It’s hard to keep up with where you are on this bus. C and I are in the back lounge for the night. He’s already trying to sleep since he has to get up and drive in the morning. Me… it’s only 12:14 am. I’m not the least bit sleepy. So I thought I’d write a journal entry to be posted later….

Monday we spent the entire day packing me up to move. Loading the U-Haul up. I found myself very short tempered as the day passed, and I snipped at C a lot. He was giddy-excited. Me? I was happy and excited, sure! But there was the underlying sense of sadness and reflection. So his playfulness ended up, well, he said it himself… annoying me.

That night, I apologized for being so short with him, and I asked him to please be patient with me. This was a big deal for me. He said he understood and tucked me into my bed. He left to his room, and I sat up on the edge of the bed… I looked around the room.

All the walls were bare. My laptop and cell phone plugged in but sitting on the floor. A few empty boxes we hadn’t needed in one corner. Boxes of things I’d still need in the morning stacked in another corner. Slowly… silent tears started to fall. I turned off the lamp, crawled into bed and quite literally cried myself to sleep. I was excited for my future, but I mourned the end of what had been my life for the last (almost) 26 years.

The next morning, I’ll admit that I got started later than I had planned, and yet somehow I didn’t care. I showered and then got C up to go shower as well. I called my parents to come say good bye, and when they did we all realized it would work out to have an early lunch together.

We loaded up the last few items. Put Sully in his crate. I got C to take a picture of me with my parents at the house before leaving. And we headed to Dairy Queen for a quick lunch.

We ate and then it was time to really say good bye. I held back tears as I hugged my parents and told them good bye. It was emotional! Even though I knew I’d be back in a few days, I also knew that this was it. When I came back… yeah, it would be home. But it was never going to be the same.

We climbed in the truck, gave Sully some water and we were off. I let Sully out of his crate, but he chose to stay in there for a long time. When he DID crawl out, we both realized… neither of us had grabbed his litter box. OOops.

Sure enough, he chose to use his bed as a liter box… the smell was AWFUL. We had to roll the windows down and find the first place to pull over and dump it out. Once we did, twenty minutes later he did it again! UGH! This was going to make for a long trip! But, luckily, that was it. And not long after we were able to stop at a Wal-Mart and buy a small box that fit on the back seat perfectly.

I took the wheel for a few hours – all the way into Arkansas. We stopped for supper in Texarkana before continuing on our way. C drove the whole rest of the way into Nashville. The drive was good. Not much traffic. Sully came to life and paced a lot. He sat in both our laps at times. Then would perch on the center compartment in the front seat. Then he’d get on top of his crate and watch the world go past us. Trucks fascinated him. He only got panicky one time, but it only took a few minutes to calm him down.

We made it into the apartment complex around 2:30 am. Unfortunately, even with as tired as we were, sleep would not come. So we sat watching TV until almost 5 am before retiring to bed.

It was around noon when we got up and moving. We ordered a pizza to be delivered so we could eat while we moved everything from the trailer to the apartment. It was low 90s and we kept having to take a break. Second floor apartment. It was hot. It took it out of us! Plus, we were snipping at each other non-stop. It was borderline worrisome how we kept bickering over boxes and stuff.

J showed up finish cleaning out her stuff, so we ended up helping each other. We’d take stuff down of hers, and she’d help carry stuff of mine up. ‘She also left boxes of clothes she was going to toss – one even still had its tags! So I grabbed a ton of clothes that are like new! I love that we are the same size of clothes – except for jeans of course. LOL Once we emptied the trailer, C and I returned it to U-Haul. Then we went driving around to just relax and get away from it all for awhile.

C and I spent all evening cleaning the apartment up. Putting my things in place. I took over J’s bathroom, and its MY room. It the one room that is all mine in the apartment. The other bathroom is C’s. It’s kinda nice to each of us have one room all our own. It’s our sanctuaries, if you will.

Once we decided to call it a night on unpacking me, we sat on the couch and talked for a long time. We ended up discussing out bickering – discovering why we were on such different pages. Mending fences. Agreeing that it’s going to happen from time-to-time, it was just that this was our first time to really bicker for a long period of time. Nothing serious, just individual frustrations that we needed to discuss.

We again stayed up way late before crashing. I got up today “early.” I was so excited about my bathroom that I wanted to go play with it some. Arrange my closet. Take a shower. Etc. Lovely!! It’s silly how excited I got over it.

We had a 6:00 pm bus call, so the day had to be quiet and simple.  I got to meet the new guitarist and bus driver upon bus call. Everyone was thankfully cool with my riding down tonight. I love that they’ve all figured out they don’t have to sensor themselves around me and stuff. I’m one of the guys now. Only, you know, not

Mom and Dad should get to Pasadena mid-afternoon tomorrow. We’ll all have supper together, watch the show, and then I’ll head back to Cameron. Two busy weeks and then its off to Billy Bob’s.

I’m very happy to be in Nashville now. Even though I’ve only been there two days. My sadness has given way to excitement. It’s still going to take some getting used to, this new life of mine. But I’m happy for it. I respect and miss my past. I appreciate my present. And I anticipate my future.

I’m sure we’re in Mississippi by now. I need to call it a night. I’m starting to fade a little bit.  C has to get up and drive in the morning, and I figure I’ll get up with him and sit in the jump seat while he drives. So I should get some sleep. It’ll be a long day tomorrow.

I’ve talked in here quite a bit about loving the Grand Ole Opry. I’ve been lucky to get to go a lot the last couple of years, but I also never take my attendance for granted. I hold my breath every time I see the Opry show up on my husband’s schedule… I hope to get to go.

Tuesday night, I honestly was braced to be denied entry. It was George Jones’ 80th Birthday Bash, and I knew there would be big names even just hanging out. I fully expected extra tight security. I fully expected to be told, “No guests.”

But instead, I got to go! TOO COOL! Just getting to attend the Opry and be backstage continues to be a surreal event. Getting to attend the Opry on such a big night? If there’s a more dramatic word for surreal, that would be the word.

Group-sing rehearsal

I was a bit surprised how many people were in attendance backstage — both artists and random guests. My expectation of it being tighter than ever seemed to be incorrect… which was equal parts really cool and a little overwhelming. Even in a place as big as the Opry, a lot of people backstage can get crowded quickly.

We saw lots of friends from other bands. It’s always funny to me how we all live in the same city, but it takes a show sometimes to see your friends. .

It was, as I said, a mix of artists and random guests. I’m a funny one, I suppose. I just really don’t ask artists for autographs or to take a picture with them. Oh, I do all I can to sneak a candid shot of them talking to someone else, or whatever. But to actually ask for a photo? Really not my style. (Which is precisely why I have only TWO photos with artists my husband has worked for… and one was because I took my cousin through the meet & greet one night.)

I’m not opposed to take a picture with an artist. I mean, the shots I have with Steve Cropper still make me grin ear-to-ear. But on a whole and in general… eh. Whatever. That mind set is precisely why I didn’t get a photo with Carrie Underwood that night. Oh I could have asked. I mean, she was standing less than a foot away from me at times. But I just couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t interrupt her evening.

Similarly, my husband and I got a poster they were selling as a memento for the night. We both really wish we’d had George Jones autograph it. But we just couldn’t bring ourselves to do it. As cool as it would have been to have, we both wanted to give him his space. He was getting mobbed enough, no need for us to join in the crowd.

I’m content with the photos I took during the show. I’m content just knowing I was there. I’m content having gotten to feel the vibe and have that experience.

George Jones coming off stage after the show

I guess you can call this one of those “married to a musician” perks. But definitely one I never, ever, ever take for granted. SO thankful to get to see such a great show. So thankful to be in attendance for such a special night.

This show will be televised in October (or so I’ve heard) on GAC. I have no idea what parts will make the show, nor do I know what parts will hit the cutting room floor — making room for backstage interviews, etc. I’ll be curious to see how it comes out. And I’ll watch going, “I was there!” and THAT is still too, too cool.

My husband had this weekend off. I think its the first weekend he’s had off in two or three months, and I am pretty sure its his last one off until sometime in November. So, of course, we looked at each other and went, “Well what do we with this time off?”

We haven’t gone on vacation in a long time, but we want to be able to go to Oregon to see my husband’s family for Christmas this year. So our logical brains prevailed and we decided to, basically, go on a stay-cation. Every day, we got out and did something different… and it was wonderful!

One day we just took off for a drive and discovered a cool “Wall of Honor” literally in the middle of nowhere.

The next day, we visited the Farmers Market, where pumpkins are already on sale…

… then over to Yazoo Brewery’s Tap Room,where we finally got to have dinner from the Grilled Cheeserie, a popular food truck in Nashville…

…then ended up having drinks on a patio in an area of town I’d only visited once before.

 The next night, we headed out to a small Cruise-In and had dinner at a Drive-In. Hamburgers, tater tots and a milk shake for dessert! Yum!

Finally, after finding we couldn’t watch the Oregon game after all, we headed out to Arrington Vineyards. We’d heard it was a fun outing, but we weren’t prepared for the beauty of the area, the delicious taste of the wine, nor the romantic mood the whole thing created. Heavenly! We will SO be back… often.

I often remind myself and my husband that we live in a city that people come to on vacation… perhaps we should take the time more often to explore areas we never visit. I am SO glad we took the last several days/nights to get out and visit different areas of our city. Can’t wait for our chance to do it again!

I’ve been fairly MIA the last week due to having my parents in town. I decided to unplug while they were here, and it was wonderful! So I thought I’d take a moment to catch everyone up on a few of my recent adventures.

•  Huh? — When I was down in Texas, my left ear kept flirting with plugging up. My last couple days there, it finally plugged completely. I found my most comfort by just wearing an ear plug (the cool pink ones they have out now!) in my congested ear. After being plugged for just shy of a week, I was finally convinced to go to a doctor. Upon the recommendation of a follower on Twitter, I visited a CVS Minute Clinic. I. Loved. It. I wish I got that kind of thorough and personal treatment at every doctor’s visit! If I did, I’d probably never hesitate to visit a doctor. Ultimately, I found out, I had fluid in my ear, and it wasn’t draining do to sinus congestion that I didn’t even know I had! A steroid spray and some great advice later, I can hear again. My ears still pop and crackle a bit, as the congestion doesn’t quite want to give up entirely, but I’ve never been so grateful to hear.

• Summer NAMM –NAMM is, basically, a trade show for musicians. As I understand, Winter NAMM is held in Los Angeles, and Summer NAMM in Nashville. It’s pretty hard to get to attend, but a friend had an extra pass. My husband was on the road, so I went in his place. He needs some new gear, and ideally needs an endorsement from the company of the gear he wants. (Follow that?) So, despite only being able to hear at 50%, I dove into NAMM with both feet.

The cacophony of sounds — guitars, drums, keys, band instruments, etc. just made it hard to focus with full hearing! Had I not had my ear issues, I’d have easily poked around for hours. I may not be a musician, but the booths were fascinating! I was sooooo lost on a lot of it, but it was interesting nonetheless. I wanted to visit with his current endorsement people, but I was on a mission.

However, I found the booth, and I patiently waited to talk to one of the company representatives. Once I had my chance, I was able to get what I came for… I practically skipped around the rest of the floor. I at least walked past all the booths before leaving with a spring in my step.

• Exploring my city– I like to think I know everything about Nashville, but the truth is, there’s a lot of areas I’ve never explored. This last weekend, my parents and I explored an area that even my husband didn’t know existed. In East Nashville, there’s an ice cream shop — Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams — and my parents and I wanted to find it. My niece’s name is Jeni, and she turns 10 this week. Today, actually! So we went in her honor.

SO COOL! This area is trendy and this interesting little oasis among homes, and just past a “sketchy” area of town. I definitely want to go back… often. DELICIOUS ice cream. CUTE shop. And it is just fun to explore new places.

That’s just a sampling of good times I’ve had lately while being unplugged from my computer. Now its time to go back to normal. It’s nice to do something different for awhile, but I am looking forward to delving back in to all my usual haunts and catching up with everyone.

Did I miss anything?

I prefer doing things with my husband. He’s my best friend, and everything is more fun done together. He’s my body guard, and more than once has stopped me from potentially doing something stupid.  And we each have unspoken “jobs” around the house. But, of course, as you can guess… when he goes out on the road, I have to step up and fill in the space left in his absence.

Like, yesterday, I mowed the lawn. I don’t mind mowing the lawn! I used to do it when I lived with my parents, and I have taken my turn pushing the mower at our old house. But since moving to our new house, I’ve not done the lawn. (Partly due to that sinus infection I found for what felt like forever.) However, due to the rainy days, followed by a long run on the road for my husband, I found myself staring at a brief window of sunshine and a lawn that despirately needed to be mowed.

So I did it. And it looks damn good, if I do say so myself! I was super proud of myself, even as I stood panting, pouring water over my head to cool down. I can do it on my own!

Then today, I read on Nashvillest about it being Night Market at the Nashville Farmers Market.  First, I pouted. My husband wasn’t home to go, so I couldn’t go. My best girl friends aren’t here. My mom isn’t here. What fun would it be to go alone, anyway?

Then I did a little re-think. Who said I couldn’t go? Who said it wouldn’t be fun to go alone?

I found myself getting into the shower. I found myself drying my hair carefully. I found myself getting dressed and putting on make-up. It was like someone else had possessed my body. I was going to do this. I was going to go to the Farmers Market alone.

I jumped in the truck, and I went to the ATM. I figured cash would keep me from spending too much money. Plus, I just don’t like using a debit card in a place like the Farmers Market. Takes too long and just too many people around to get something screwed up.

When I got to the Farmers Market, I was AMAZED. The parking lot was almost full! Night Market was obviously popular!

I did a full walk-through, first. Plotting my attack to the night, and just getting a feel for what I had at my disposal. I started with dinner. Seafood pies, a Dr Pepper, and a jazz band. It was a beautiful thing. I thought about picking up dessert, but the cupcakes I wanted only came in packages of six (or so their sign said), and I only wanted ONE. So I decided to move on to the Farm Shed. So many beautiful, beautiful fruits and vegetables!

I am all about lots of color on my plate these days, and it was almost sensory overload. I was in a version of heaven!

One booth was offering samples of their cantaloupe, so I decided to do the majority of shopping with them. Garlic, squash, corn, and local honey from them. Peaches from another vendor. Then the smell sucked me in, and I grabbed three bags of Kettle Corn from Moose Head Kettle Corn.

Dinner plus all my goodies cost me only $28!

It was such a beautiful night, I found myself being beckoned to Bicentennial Mall next door. Signs said to enjoy the park with a friend, which I was clearly breaking their rule (and what is usually my OWN rule as well!) but the high number of people in the park at that time gave me a sense of security.

A gentleman approached and asked if he could take my picture, then gave me a link to his website where he is doing a photo project of people in the park. He showed me his photos and they are GOOD! I can’t wait to see my mug make it on his page. Always happy to help a fellow shutterbug.

I walked around the park until I worked up a sweat and my feet were starting to complain. I breathed the night air in deep, and I said a little Thank You to the man upstairs for putting me in such a beautiful location on such a beautiful night. I love my city, and I need to stop letting my own fear of danger hold me back. I need to trust my instincts and ability to be alert to whats around me… I CAN go on my own and enjoy my world. I should do it a lot more often.

I WILL do it more often.