All too often, life dictates I do something else. Something more mundane. Something… not what I want to do.

Today? I gave in to the want. Indian Summer… the temps hit mid 70s today, and the sun broke through the clouds as I stepped out on my porch. Instantly I wanted to be 10 years old again, running through the field, swinging on a swing, playing a game of baseball.

And I decided… the laundry could wait. The blog could wait. The CD design could wait. The dishes could wait. I was going to play.

I got out my bike, and I rode up and down the drive way. Down was the most fun, where I didn’t even have to pedal, just let the wind whip my hair. I rode down, into the grass, around the garage and had to stand up and push to keep momentum back up onto the concrete. My legs screamed at me. I loved it.

I rode until I was panting and my hair was damp with sweat. Then I came into the house, and kept the forward motion going — cleaning the kitchen, starting the laundry and making spaghetti for supper. My husband commented that I was just a flurry of energy today.

And I was! All because I decided to take an hour out of my day and go outside to play.

Loved. It.

Now, the unexpected happens a lot with a touring musician husband. Last minute shows. Cancelled shows. Traffic keeping them from getting home by a certain time. Weather, flights, gear malfunctions, any number of things can happen. I am generally, as a result, pretty good at taking things in stride. Generally. Not always, but generally.

I had a “not always” this week and it left me in a funk. Left me downright pessimistic. Hence my lack of post yesterday. I don’t write well when I am glowering at the world. Cursing its curve balls. But, a funny thing happened… I had even more unexpecteds occur, and they were really quite positive.

As usual, I tagged along to a jam night that my husband is in the house band for every Tuesday night. My heart wasn’t in it.  I walked in the bar, grabbed a beer and plunked my butt down at a table. I’m pretty sure I even gave a little “Hmph” as I did. I usually mix and mingle, but last night? Not even on my radar. I tried to bury myself in my Twitter feed on my phone. I hoped that I was giving off a huge, “Leave me alone” vibe.

However, mingling came to me. I saw several faces I’ve not seen a far too long. Faces that all lit up to see me and arms that wrapped me in big hugs. The bar was busier than its been on a jam night in awhile, with many road musicians in attendance (and a few artists as well!). As an extra treat, I got to see Eric (Nashville Musician’s Survival Guide) and Kelly (Do It The Hard Way), both of which unknowingly boosted my writing confidence. Something I needed, as I’ve felt like I’ve just been phoning it in lately.

Now, some of the mingling wasn’t exactly welcomed. At one point in the night, my table was pretty much just taken over by another group. I was at first determined to hold my ground. I was there first, and I was, by far, going to be there a lot later. I passive-aggressively complained on Twitter about my unwelcome guests. I was not happy. (Personal space, people! Personal space!)

However, I started to look around a noticed that the bartenders on duty were being swamped terribly. So I got up (in a huff) and decided maybe the best therapy for me was work. I started clearing tables and asking if anyone needed anything. I washed dishes, and I felt my mood lift a bit. I wasn’t doing it to make any money, I was doing it just to help out and get out of my own head.

Turned out it was just as well, as one of the bartenders needed to leave early any way! I ended up behind the bar for the rest of the night and not only lifted my spirit but did go home with a few dollars in my pocket.

The night ended with me, my husband, and two friends sitting at the end of the bar eating chips, drinking water and having a big therapy session until 5 AM. I had a doctors appointment the next day, and I had fully intended to be in bed early. But the unexpected early-morning hours talking was worth the lost sleep. I went home with a far better attitude than I’d had all night.

I had expected my doctor’s appointment to be fairly quick. My last one was, so why not this one? Of course, instead, I was called back an hour late. I was hungry. I was tired. I was grumpy…

My doctor made me laugh and had such an amazing attitude, I left smiling and not minding the late exit one bit. Oh my stomach was upset because it wanted food, but my attitude was much improved.

Expecting the unexpected doesn’t have to mean anything bad. It can also be for the good. And as I look over the last few days, I see a lot of little positive surprises, way more positive ones than negative ones. I’m sure going to try to focus on that, and, you know, I’m going to try to focus on that concept in the future. Its so easy to get wrapped up in the negative, but I sure would rather focus on the positive.

The video of the band Sidewinder covering the Adele song “Rolling in the Deep” comes courtesy of an anonymous Twitter feed run by a man who goes by the Twitter handle @areyousuprised. He says he’s stationed in a “Sandbox, Middle East” and he uses his Twitter feed and YouTube videos to “build up the courage to come out to family, girlfriend, friends, and coworkers,” once “don’t ask, don’t tell” ends. It’s not clear whether he’s one of the members of the band, but he did sent the video into a viral tailspin he hadn’t quite expected. “My latest video is getting blown up like crazy,” he wrote.

The band members did not expect it either. Staff Sgt. Angie Johnson, of the 571st Air Force Band, 131st Bomb Wing, Air National Guard, only found out about the viral video when Carson Daly contacted her on Twitter. In short order, Mark Burnett and NBC’s the Voice reached out as well. “ Totally can’t believe I’m tweeting with you right now. Jaw.On.Floor,” Johnson wrote.

Air Force band’s Adele cover goes viral
By Melissa Bell

Jaw on floor is exactly what happened to me when I saw Angie post on her Facebook page that Carson Daly was trying to reach her. I couldn’t wait to tell my  husband, who met Angie while overseas performing for the troops himself. He always said, “It is only a matter of time before she’s discovered.” His respect and amazement at the entire Air Force Band is one he’s never hidden. They are incredibly talented individuals who take it a step further by choosing to serve their country.

YouTube sensations happen every day. You never know what its going to be… a skateboarding dog… some crazy trick shot in any given sport… or recently, a barking cat. But its one of those things that happens to strangers. Watching it happen to a friend is… crazy!

Now, I’ll be the first to admit, my husband and I don’t “run around with” Angie and her husband, and I haven’t actually seen her in a couple years. She isn’t on speed dial — I’m not even sure I actually have her current phone number. But I keep up with her via Facebook and Twitter. I still deeply regret missing her wedding, but her posts about enjoying her home, or spending time with her husband, always make me smile. We do the, “We need to get together!” game, but sadly never actually do. Just a couple weeks ago, she posted a series of photos of her in a box as a prank while overseas in an undisclosed location. I admit I giggled and shook my head. I admire her; she doesn’t even know how much of a joy her posts are.

Living in Nashville, I am not for want for amazing singers. Some stand out more than others. But across the board, it baffles and saddens me how many get passed up by record labels for any reason or for no reason. So many great singers that the world will never know. So many who ache to just sing their songs for a living, but instead waitress or work as mechanics. So many that live on the tips they earn downtown, praying they don’t have their cars repossessed, cell phones turned off, or maybe just hope to get to eat tonight. Talent undiscovered all over the place.

Seeing Angie be discovered in such a random way in this crazy business amazes me. She wasn’t found anywhere here in Music City. She was found via YouTube while entertaining our troops somewhere out in the sands “over there.” It just reminds me to not give up hope of dreams coming true in the most random and unlikely of ways.

Good luck, girl!! You deserve it!

However, I’ve chanced to see a few sunrises lately for one reason or another. Today was one such day… I stayed up to take first my husband to the airport, then a friend who had a flight an hour or two later. Some would grumble about this, but for me it worked out nicely. I stay up until the early morning hours anyway (consider it a side effect of being married to a musician as well as part-time bartending until the early AM hours), and it afforded me the chance to witness another gorgeous sunrise.

This one:

Sunrise over BNA

There is something so gorgeous about a sunrise. Oh sure, from this photo you could easily say it could be a sunset OR a sunrise. But trust me when I say this was one gorgeous sunrise. It filled me with such a sense of renewal. Such a sense of hope for a good day.

Back in college when I’d see sunrise regularly, I wish I’d taken time to truly appreciate it as I do today. To appreciate the beginning it brings… a new day with new chances to succeed and embrace life.

I hope everyone has a wonderful day… I sure plan to.

I’m having one today.

I mean, not even a way-too-close-near-fender-bender could rile me up today! Not even noticing my yard is the worst yard in the neighborhood and needs to be mowed desperately could get me down. Heck, not even the express lane being farrrr from express at Kroger could upset me.

I just have a perma-smile going on, and I’m loving it!

This little part of me wants to go, “Uh oh. What’s going to go wrong around the corner? This can’t last…” but I keep squashing that down hard. Like a really ugly, awful, poisonous bug. Because I want to enjoy this.

Today is a day when I feel with deep certainty I am on the path I am meant to be on in life. There have just been the tiniest of signs all day that make me go, “Yup. This is right.” And as a result, there is this spring in my step and a smile that won’t stop. I feel carefree giggles want to bubble up from my gut of just joy of life.

As a result, I find people responding positively to me. I went to the liquor store for a bottle of wine for myself. As I left I smiled and told the owner (who was sitting at a table offering out samples since you can do that now in Tennessee), “Thanks! Have a great day!” and he stared at me in shock for a moment. Then responded with a smile and equally happy, “You too!!” The teller at the bank was warm and bubbly back to me with a, “Have a great weekend!” And at Target, I chatted up a particularly sullen looking cashier until she smiled back before I left.

A friend has in her Twitter profile, “When you love life, life loves you back.” And today that was reflected back to me ten fold, everywhere I went.

Oh sure… that little voice keeps going, “Day is not over yet…” as the little Devil that lives on my shoulder tries to bring me down. Tries to turn me from my positive outlook. Instead, I’m looking at it with a bright smile and responding back, “Shut up.” I’m riding this ride of positive things…

Wishing everyone a great weekend!!! Remember to smile… you never know whose day you might brighten with it.

My husband and his "other woman"

I noticed yesterday that I had a hit on this blog with the search, “musicians love music more than spouce.” Yeah, I didn’t fix the spelling. Keepin’ it real here.

That really made me stop. It really made me a little sad. It really made me want to share my point of view on that.

There was a period of time when my husband and I were dating that I thought that myself. In fact, for awhile it made things easier to think, “The music comes first. And I come second.” Deep down, I spent a lot of time wrestling with that thought and the feelings that accompanied it. Was I okay with that? Was that even true?

Here I am, four and a half years into our marriage, and I realize that thought I had couldn’t be further from the truth. And maybe… maybe I can help the person who did that search come to realize what I’ve come to realize.

Music isn’t something my husband loves. No, its simply a part of who he is. Music is in his soul. It’s as much a part of him as is his arms and legs. It’s practically in his DNA. He needs it like he needs air and water. Even if he were to quit the music tomorrow, he’d still play. He’d still pick apart songs on the radio. He’d still tune my voice out to listen to whatever is being piped through the little speakers in a restaurant.

It’s not that he loves music more than me. It’s that the music is a part of him. And it is in that fact, that I love the music, too.  I have always loved music, but I love it in a different way today. It is a part of our life — at times it IS our life — because its just who he is.

We have a running joke that his Leslie speaker is his “other woman.”  And that I bought her for him. He sees her more than he sees me these days. It’s a lighthearted humor we have in this crazy life.

We’ve talked at length about how WE come before the music. We’ve at least once faced the possibility of walking away from the music, because we thought it was what we needed. Thankfully? Unseen forces threw us right back into the life… wild, crazy, wacky and stressful as it is. I am thankful. Because its just a part of who my husband is… dare I say he is most alive when he’s on stage and everything is clicking. Harmonies, mixes, his piano sound, the Leslie is singing… even when he’s exhausted there’s the light in his eyes.

Simply put, music is a huge part of the man I fell in love with and married. It doesn’t come first, because for a musician… it is not a thing TO come first.

YOU, their spouse, come first. You keep them grounded. You give them the momentum and reason to keep going. Support them. Love them. Love the music. And you’ll find a beautiful harmony in your life.

I think asked my followers for three things that make them happy. I only got a few responses, but they were all great!

They were:

SadieCass
@niseag03 My camera, my characters (writing), my family. #joy

AggieAnne04
@niseag03 Max, Chris, and leaves on the trees again. :)

AllyInLA
@niseag03 Cupcakes. My dog. And vacations.

LOVE all of those answers!

As I finished my work day, I kept chewing on my own answer. Things that bring me joy. Just thinking about it brought me joy!!

So I have to share even more things that bring me joy… I can never list ALL the things, but I can sure as heck list more than three!

65 Things that Bring me Joy (In no particular order and certainly not a complete list!)

1. My husband
2. Coffee
3. Texas A&M
4. My parents
5. All of my family
6. My nephew’s determination
7. That message I saved on my phone where my niece says she loves me
8. Dr. Pepper
9. Texas
10. Nashville
11. Music
12. Sunshine
13. My cat
14. God
15. Rainfall
16. Cooking
17. Writing
18. Photography
19. My friends
20. Babies
21. Weddings
22. Pedicures
23. Fields
24. Lakes
25. Taking a drive in the country
26. Facebook
27. Laughter
28. Seeing others find their joy
29. Page design
30. Pasta
31. Beer
32. The Grand Ole Opry
33. My life
34. Flying
35. Cameron Yoemen
36. Peanut Butter
37. Chocolate
38. Twitter
39. Holidays
40. Reading
41. Helping others
42. A job well done
43. History
44. My truck
45. My degree
46. Pizza
47. Aggie Muster
48. Words With Friends
49. Bluebonnets
50. Sushi
51. Toe socks
52. Blogging
53. Cookies
54. Being responsible
55. My cowboy boots
56. Snow
57. Barbecue
58. My wedding ring
59. Printer’s Alley
60. Getting a letter in the mail
61. Flowers
62. Concerts
63. Aggieland
64. Red roses
65. Love

Now it’s your turn… what are some of the things that bring YOU joy.

I haven’t written anything about the Arizona shooting last week, primarily because I was “off line” and “out of touch” through it. I followed a little but about it via Twitter on my phone, but on a whole… I was pretty clueless until the last few days.

My heart goes out to those who lost loved ones that day — even the shooter’s parents, who, essentially, lost their son, too. The ripple of grief goes far and wide to family and friends of those victims.

Those injured, some still lying in hospital beds, will have long lasting scars from the events, and their friends and family too are worried, saddened, but also filled with hope for recovery.

We as Americans are left to wonder how this will effect our government. How will it effect our interactions with others? Will we make positive changes to help others with similar violent tendencies or mental issues?  Or will we keep the status quo and believe we see no evil, hear no evil… until it is too late.

Some of my favorite stories to come out of this tragedy are the ones of positive changes being made by our youth. This news article out of Chicago details out some of those changes and events, all with a nod to the youngest victim of the shooting, nine-year-old Christina Green.

“Students in Tucson have already started Christina’s Challenge, during which they promised to recognize random acts of kindness,” the report says.

There is a ripple of positive going out from this tragedy, and its by our youth. As adults start pointing fingers, blaming politics, guns, and even violent video games, its our youth that show us that perhaps its not by pointing fingers that change is brought. It is instead by finding a positive ray of light to follow. It’s by making positive changes in life that true change is made. Not by pointing fingers and writing new laws. But by holding out a hand to a stranger.

As you may see on the right of the screen, I am a member of the BlogHer network. I received an email today that one of our members was one of those injured in the shooting. You can read the post about the shooting here. BlogHer has also set up a survey asking your thoughts on the shooting and how it will impact you and our democracy (yes, it does address the political angle as well) . Anyone can join in the survey, and you’re invited to do so here. The survey is completely anonymous.

Here we are, 12 days into the new year, and as I talk to friends (or as I skim Facebook) I find that a strong majority of my friends and family are also using 2011 for new beginnings.

I know of at least four weddings this year, if not five. I know of several pregnancies. Friends are also packing up and making big moves. Still others are looking for new jobs. Some have even opted to go back to school.

Everywhere I look, I see everyone with something new… even if its simply a new life motto. It’s almost as if we all took 2010 to try to “fix” things, while 2011 is instead a reboot for us all.

As I look around me, I still see so very many problems in my country and in the world. But I’ve always believed big change happens after individual changes are made. It only takes a spark to start a fire, after all.

And perhaps, instead of trying to fix problems, or instead of looking at the big picture and how “dismal” things are (because, c’mon, last year we looked at the big picture a LOT with government deficits, etc.), if we all just take the initiative to fix things individually and internally, we can start to see some changes to the big picture. Even a forest grows one tree at a time, after all.

I don’t know! Maybe my optimistic self is starting to bounce back these days, but I am really feeling hopeful for this year. Not just for myself, but for all of my friends and family. For everyone who is making changes, no matter how big or how small. Dream your dreams. Make your new goals. Make those crazy changes you’ve been afraid to make. You’ll never know what kind of positive change it could be until you try.

Oh, I know. It had its high points. Other years have stunk, too. January to December is arbitrary start and stop points in the grand scheme of things. Yadda yadda yadda. Doesn’t matter. I look back on 2010 with a scowl on my face. I actually FEEL 30 in a lot of ways. I guess the year aged me to my age for a change. Perhaps that is not such a bad thing, but its also not what you ever want to say.

What made the year so bad you ask? It just felt like an uphill climb the entire time. We lived month to month financially. I became buried in a dark cloud financially that, yes I created, but it was also one that was created at a time when the idea of being able to dig out of it was not far-fetched. Then life happened, and it all came to a head in 2010.

I ended up taking comfort in watching the news and hearing of others right where we are. We at least had family and friends to lean on… we at least had work in general. I was thankful for my blessings, but it was hard to not sink into a stressful depression.

Time and time again, we found ourselves taking one step forward, two steps back. We found ourselves making hard decisions — selling my husband’s truck, canceling services that we realized were a luxury. We definitely learned  the difference between want and need!

And perhaps its within things like that, that I look into 2011 with optimism. We’ve learned hard lessons and picked up new habits that will make big differences for us in the new year. What first felt like the last blow, we are having to move. But now I look on the change with optimism for a clean slate. I, myself, laid a lot of groundwork in my writing and photography. I go into 2011 with optimism professionally, and with hope that changes we’ve made will have a positive effect.

I’ve picked up a motto and belief this year… that its after our greatest failures that our greatest successes are realized. 2010 is one of the hardest years I’ve ever experienced, and its my belief that 2011 will follow with stark contrast of positive strides professionally, financially and even personally.