If anyone is doing the math, yes I went to “junior college” for two years, then spent the last two years of college at TAMU.  I was an Aggie from the day I was born, so this was just an “official” step in Aggie status.

I thought for giggles, I’d share my entry from my private journal written that day:

11:13 pm August 27th, 2001

 She traveled this road as a child…

I’ve had that song in my head all day.

Well, that one and ‘Drops of Jupiter’ but that one only because it seems to be on every station I put the radio on.

Anyway, after the worst weekend of the past year… Ugh… being sick really, really sucks. I mean, I’m kinda hungry right now, but after being as sick as I was, I’m actually afraid to eat. *shakes head* I have some Pringles here, maybe I’ll eat on those.

I’m worn out. I am still not at 100% strength yet, so today was a little less spectacular than I like. Yes, my first day at TAMU.

My first class wasn’t until after 4 PM, so I didn’t leave home until after 2:00. Mom and Dad followed me, because I still hadn’t moved any of my clothes down here. So they brought my clothes while I went to class. Its an hour drive and I had to move to get to class on time. It poured on us on the way… I mean, you could barely see the car in front of you. So… yeah… I went to my first class in the rain.

I parked further away than I wanted too, but I had no choice. I got to class and… zoned out. LOL!! I mean, it should be a good class but she was basically reading the syllabus to us! My class today was Sociology of Religion. It’ll be interesting, and I don’t think it’ll be all THAT tough. We’ll see…

When I got out of class I called my friend, Lindsey. She lives on campus, so she came and got me and we went to her dorm room. We hung out with her room mate and other girls from that dorm in her room. Lindsey had a class so she went to class and I stayed behind with the other girls. That was pretty cool. They all had plans and slowly trickled, though, and eventually it was just me and the remote control. LOL!!! Lindsey got back, though, and we headed out with this girl from across the hall for Kyle Field… the football field. There was supposed to be an “All U-Nite” where they introduce the sports teams, band, corp of cadets, yell leaders, etc. Well, because of the rain it was canceled. So, we went back to the dorm. Lindsey and I were hungry so we went out to eat. LONG walk to my truck. *groan* *laugh*

it was nice, though. After we ate, I dropped her at her dorm and I came back here to my aunts house.

I have a really nice room here. I like it. Its big. When I get my X-Files poster, my three-eyed smiley poster, and a MB20 poster up on the walls I’ll take some pictures.

Right now? I’m headed for bed. I am really, really tired. I have an 8 am class, and the road I take to school will be going under construction in the morning, so… I gotta leave extra early. I’m going to go to bed, pop in one of my X-Files tapes… Bad Blood, I think… and zone out.

I laugh as I read that now. It traditionally rains on the first day of classes. I’m pretty sure it did every semester I was there. And Sociology of Religion is to this day one of my least favorite classes… mostly because it was more reading that I ever could handle and I skated through with a C.

I love that I have journal entries to look back on for my years at TAMU. I wish I still kept it up today like I did then. It’s fun to be able to see how much I’ve changed (and how much I’ve stayed the same!) through the years.

Amazing and amusing.

It pulled at my heart to know so many this year are in such dire need they’ve reached for their last resort. Perhaps its in a fit of frustration. Perhaps these letters were written more for therapy. Or perhaps they were written with the deep hope they would truly be answered. Blind letters sent out to Santa asking for food, clothing, or a little help with the bills. It shows the true state of our economy. A far cry from the rosey photo the news media tries to paint with, “Spending and sales are up this year! Showing an upturn in our economy!”

However, the letters also gave me a ray of hope, in that they are being read, and others are definitely trying to help where they can. Strangers helping strangers. A hand held out to one another. Together we rise and pull through the tough times we find ourselves in today. There’s no shame in asking for help. There is only shame in refusing to help when you really could.

Nostalgia runs wild when it comes to letters to Santa. I remember writing a yearly letter to Santa in school to be published in the local newspaper for all to read. You’d ask for the hottest new toy and maybe a bike. Then half the fun of reading the letters is all the misspellings (which as a former newspaper writer is hard to leave in when you’re typing those suckers up!) which just adds a bit of fun to the whole thing.

I think deep down we all still believe in Santa. We all still want to believe there’s a man out there who every Christmas Eve travels the globe to bring gifts to good little boys and girls. We still, deep down, get up on Christmas morning and look under the tree to see if maybe, just maybe, that jolly old man made a stop by our house this year.

If I wrote a letter to Santa this year, I’d be among those asking for a little help getting through the next couple months. But I’d also throw in a wish for a new camera, and maybe some bubble bath if he’s got time. A couple new movies and a pair of new boots. A laptop with the newest version of Photoshop would be pushing it, but, hey, wouldn’t hurt to ask! That’s the fun of Santa, you can ask for the serious right along side the way out there stuff.

What would you ask for if you wrote a letter to Santa? Would it be frivolous or serious? A mixture of both? Its all a part of the fun of the season… so get out that pen and paper and write a letter. Who knows… some of it just might come true.

Junior and high school were, of course, the years that, “I’m too old to dress up.” was said. In high school, I do remember one year donning a witch’s hat for a FHA party… and I also remember being given funny looks for it. In college, I vaguely remember giving our candy at my brother’s house wearing a top hat. Past that, though, I think I was just too busy.

But, fast forward to moving to Nashville:

My husband and I have both found Halloween to be one of our favorite holidays. Why? To be honest, for me, it goes right along with my last blog post: it’s a night to be a kid again and have some fun. Dress up in costumes and get together with friends. Poke fun at ourselves. Be something we’re not.

My first year here, I just wore my old flag uniform. Yes, it still fit… actually better than it did in high school! Everyone said I was a cheerleader. By the end of the night, I quit correcting them. The best part was getting hit on by high school age guys at a party. I couldn’t pay someone to hit on me in high school!

The next year I just put together an all-black outfit and went with something of a goth look. The next year a witch. Last year I bought a black wig to wear with my prom dress from senior year of high school. We’ve ended up being called “Mr. & Mrs. Creepy” from that.

Halloween costumes are so dang expensive, that we always try to make the most out of spending the least. This year, we did buy costumes, but went as cheap as we could find. Even so, I’m excited to dress up tonight and gather with friends. We’re going to be Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf. I still need to go pick up a basket to carry as part of my costume.

It’s funny, though. In high school, we try to act so grown up. Now as a “grown up,” I just want to tell high school kids to stop trying to hard. Grow up and go with the flow… you’ll enjoy life a lot more if you do.

I’ve not kept to that rule much as of late, and for the last week I just threw it out of the window.

My bed time has evolved to be around 4:30 or 5 am. As I always tell people, when my husband goes on the road I have a very hard time going to sleep before the sun starts to rise. It’s a strange mental safety blanket, but it also keeps my sleep schedule a little off from what most people would consider “normal.”

Aside from that, it also will be affected by if my husband is driving the bus while on the road.

It started years ago, when he was the only driver for the artist he worked for at the time. We credit his driving for the shift in our relationship from being just friends to being more. As he drove through the night, he’d call me for company and to “help him stay awake.”  I’d stay up all night on the phone until I knew he was safe at the next hotel in the next city. Then I’d grab a couple hours of sleep before starting my own day, only to do it all over again the next night. We really got to know each other then.

Today, I think of it as our just being a team. We work together and help each other out.

The last two weekends, my husband worked as both keyboard player and bus driver. We joked at one point that this was like “old times” as we talked through the miles.

The first run didn’t affect my sleep schedule too much. It was actually pretty normal, and even my husband had no trouble getting his sleep needs back on track. However, it was the sudden change of plans last Tuesday/Wednesday that resulted in a sleep-mess.

Between staying up with him as he drove to Indiana on Tuesday night, then staying up to pick him up Thursday morning from the bus, my husband and I both went on what I’d call “a bus driver schedule.” Sleeping through the day. Up all night.

However, this last weekend ended up all mixed up. A 7 am bus call meant up all night didn’t really work. But when you get up at 5 pm, its hard to go back to bed at 10 pm! So, my husband grabbed a couple naps. I did too, since I planned to follow the bus to Saturday’s show. We hoped it was enough.

We left our house at 5 am (bed time, right?) to get the bus, since it takes a little over half an hour to get to the bus lot followed by a little over half an hour to where the band is picked up. We were both doing good, though, at that point. Drove 3 hours to the gig, and my  husband set up his gear and sound checked. We grabbed lunch and then finally got to the hotel to sleep around 1 pm.

We were both wide awake, and it took a little while for sleep to come. Once we did both fall asleep, though, we slept well. I think we could have slept into the night if we had the time! But it was up, shower, supper and showtime. Tear down. Load up the bus. Then wait to get to leave.

I drove home, but my husband had about an 8 hour drive to the next gig. I stayed up through the night to make sure he made it there okay, and he did fine. It ended up another go to bed at 11 am day,  up at 5 pm.

I was able to nap periodically through the evening as my husband drove back to Nashville. I talked to him a few times to perk him up when fatigue started to set in on him. I really felt for him as at that point the crazy sleep times were catching up to him, but he loves what he does and he takes it very seriously. He wants to do the very best (and safest) job that he can, and I wouldn’t give up staying up with him to make sure that happens for anything. Truth be told, I find it a little fun to “ride along” and I hope he gets more drives!

But, as I said, I got to nap through the evening when he didn’t. As such, he’s sleeping soundly while I am still wide awake. I’m not entirely sure how I’ll turn my schedule back to normal…  So here is where I have to ask: Anyone have any go-to-sleep tricks that work for them when they find their schedules off? Be it from travel or work or just insomnia? I am all ears with eyes wide open.

It’s a book.

I got on this topic after/during a debate with a friend on Facebook who just purchased a Kindle. (Sorry Dave! You never know what might turn into a blog post!)  If you don’t know what a Kindle is, its an electronic book reader. It does more than just let you read books, but in its most basic description, its a book reader.

I happen to be one of those people who staunchly wants to keep books in book form. Before I go into my laundry list of reasons, I will in all fairness give the Kindle these kudos:

1 – You can carry a LOT of books in one small electronic device. In less space than one paper back book, you can have multiple books available right at your fingertips.

2 – Saves paper and trees. (However, my father-in-law was a logger and that is how many people make their living. Plus, no one ever seems to notice that they do replant trees after they take grown trees out.)

3 – You can do more than just read books on a Kindle. Although, my phone can also surf the web, play music, etc.

4 – I have to admit, being able to search for a phrase or section of a book with a few clicks is really, really cool.

Okay, I’m done playing nice. Now why I won’t use a Kindle. At least not any time soon. (I have to leave myself an out, you know, in case a moment of weakness comes and I go over to the dark side.)

1 – Like I said before. I love the feel and smell of a book. I happen to be one of those people who really loves going to the library and being surrounded by book after book after book. Its sensory overload for someone like me!

2 – When on a plane, I don’t have to wait to open my book, nor do I have to close it for landing. I regularly, when I fly, hop in my seat and open my book immediately. I read until the wheels touch down. I only pay attention to the “electronic devices” guidelines in regards to the iPod or maybe my camera if I am in a “take pictures from the plane” mood.

3 – I never have to worry about the battery dying. Granted, from what I have read about Kindles, they have stupid long battery life. But, hey, books don’t need batteries…

4 – …before anyone says they can read their Kindle in the dark, I respond, “So can I… its called a flashlight.”

5 – If I am on a desert island (because you never know when THAT might happen), I can read my book and then use it to start a fire and keep me warm.

6 – I never have to worry about losing my books to a dramatic hard drive crash or something of that nature. I just have to worry about a lighted match.

7 – If I drop my book, I don’t have to gasp in horror if I broke it. I can throw in my purse and not worry about scratching it up (even though I AM a stickler for keeping my books nice) or it breaking. Heck, a broken spine on a book shows use to me, and it is like a badge of honor.

As we go more to a digital world, more and more things that have been staples of the past are fading away. There’s a good chance that books will be next. Newspapers are already having to change their mode of operation.

Through our history, we’ve advanced as a people through technological innovations. Kindle, and other such book readers, are another step in our advancement. I acknowledge that. I’m just also a sucker for the ways and times of the past, and books represent that to me. Perhaps a big part of that is the fact that growing up, I always had a book in my hand. It went everywhere with me. Books to me not only represent where am going with my future, but they also represent where I came from.

And forgive me, but I am not ready to let that go yet.

I am 11 years out of high school, and 7 years out of college, and I still LOVE new school supplies. Brand new spiral notebooks. Packs of pens. Crayon boxes. Folders with fun designs on the front. 200-sheet packs of lined notebook paper.

I repeat, I LOVE new school supplies.

Last night, I found myself poking around Target and their back to school section. I couldn’t resist grabbing crayons, markers, and spiral notebooks. (They were on sale!) I poked around the shelves full of folders, paper, dictionaries, and globes. I found myself musing over all the cute little desk organizers, trying to remind myself I didn’t need anything.

Memories of new school years came back to me. How I’d fill a three-ring binder with notebook paper, and I’d itch to write my name on a sheet of paper. Organizers for my assignments would have name, address, etc. filled out weeks before the first school bell rang. I liked school, but I liked new supplies 1000x more. It was like literally being handed a clean slate for the new year.

Today, its not “school supplies” but “office supplies.” Post it notes, printer ink, and staples just aren’t as much fun as three ring binders, erasers, and graph paper. So, I find ways to justify my visits to the back to school supply sales.

Coloring is a great way to relieve stress, but I also happen to really like making my own cards and wrapping paper. If I am shipping a gift to someone, because I can’t be there, it lets me make sure it is a lot more personal! So, I always keep boxes of crayons and markers on hand. (Stickers and glitter, too!)

Spiral notebooks are the best way to jot down ideas for blog posts or to keep to do lists. Unfortunately, with all my husband’s traveling, I am never short of ballpoint pens. He brings home plenty from hotels around the country!

I still carry my backpack from college as my carry-on on flights. I’ve read many articles on how you should present yourself professionally at all times; you never know who you might run into and when. A backpack just doesn’t look professional. But its SO handy and carries everything I need with ease, so I don’t care decide to go with usability over presentation. Plus, there’s the odd comfort level there with it. Its almost like a safety blanket that carries my laptop, magazines and some snacks.

I know its not necessarily rational, but I really do love school supply shopping. Maybe its some strange way of holding on to my youth. When we have kids, they’ll probably end up hating school supply shopping simply because I’ll end up embarrassing them. I’ll be that mom going, “Ooooh!” and grabbing glue, pencil bags, and note cards like it’s a shoe store with a sale on high heels. I’m weird that way.

I can’t wait!

I lived in Central Texas. He lived in Nashville, TN. Our “dating” days (which if you ask me when they began, I wouldn’t be able to tell you) existed in the form of phone calls, late night AIM chat-sessions, and occasional trips between Texas and Tennessee. I scoured his tour schedule for shows within about a six-hour driving radius of where I was.

However, its the long-distance nature of how our relationship started that I credit with why we are both so cool about either of us “going on the road for work” for an extended period of time. It’s just as normal (if not more normal!) as being under the same roof!

Recently, we found ourselves very much in old roles. I’m in Texas working with my parents through tax season, and thus I am in my old bedroom. And I found myself chatting with  my husband on the phone as he drove tour bus. We BOTH commented how it brought back memories.

See, I used to stay up all night long with him on the phone while he drove bus through the night. He has his CDL and is a co-driver on long trips. However, for a period of time, he was the only driver for the artist he worked for. So, he’d drive all night, get to the town they would be doing a show. He’d sleep a few hours. Get up to set up his gear and soundcheck. Eat a little. Grab some more sleep. Get up to do the show. Tear down, load up and head to the next town. To help keep him awake, I’d stay on the phone with him for hours on end.

I don’t know, now, how either of us did it. How he would run on such little sleep, and how I’d stay up all night, get a couple hours of sleep, then go to work. Naps were a friend, I suppose. However, sleep just didn’t seem to matter as much.

I got to see so much of the United States through the phone! Some nights we’d have nothing to talk about other than what he was seeing in front of him on the road. Road construction. Landmarks. He’d have me check the weather ahead if he saw lightening in the distance. I got him lost in Chicago once, trying to be his navigator (because this was before everyone had a GPS). We got good at handling dropped calls when he’d go through a patch of highway that had no cell service.

It was in those long late night hours, when he was chasing headlights and I was laying in the dark in a room lit only by a computer monitor or cell phone screen, that we went from being just good buddies to discovering there was something deeper there.

Today, he has a GPS and doesn’t need me to navigate, but I like to follow along using Google maps. Sometimes I still look ahead for a Pilot or Flying J for him. I’ll still check the weather once in awhile. But mostly, we could be in the truck together. Sitting at times in silence, just enjoying knowing that we’re each on the other end of the line.

Through those years of phone calls and IM chats, we’ve developed an awesome level of communication. We can read each others moods in a word much of the time. We’ve come a long way, but its on that solid base that we build our life. Going back to that role — me in my old bedroom at my parents’ house, again in a dark room lit by a computer monitor, and him chasing headlights taking his turn behind the wheel — reminds us of where we started, and it just seems to make us more solid.

I think all too often, married couples forget what its like to be “new.” They forget what its like to be in that “dating” roll again. Late night chats by phone? Those were dates for me and my husband back in the day. It was neat to go back to that style of dating. I wouldn’t ever want to go back to it full-time! But it made me smile, and it once again made me appreciate us and the life we have.

Inscription on Albritton Clock Tower on the Texas A&M Campus

First, I went out to the cemetery where all my grandparents are buried, and its at the church where my husband and I got married. This location deserves a blog post all by itself, but suffice to say that you can’t get much deeper into my roots than this location!

Then, I visited Texas A&M University. I took some time to walk around a little bit of the campus and take pictures. I took in memories of days now-fairly-long past, and I observed the current student population a little. I am forever amazed by how little changes in light of how much things have changed.

I ran into the same family a couple times as I strolled around. It was a young man with his parents and a couple siblings. He was giving his family a tour of campus, and if I were guessing I’d have said he had to be a Freshman. Perhaps even a Senior checking out the campus he’d be attending in the fall.

I could only hear snippets of their conversations, and really it was none of my business. However, the young mans demeanor amused me. His body language screamed out that he would rather be doing anything other than what he was doing in that moment. Telling his family about traditions, etc. seemed to be almost an annoyance. It was as if they should know these things already.

I shook my head, and deep down I wanted to pull him aside. I wanted to convey to him that I’m over 5 years out of college now, and there are times I wish I’d taken more time to appreciate my campus. I was blessed with parents who took (and continue to take) an active roll in my life. He needs to be thankful to have his family there with him. Many would give anything to have that time. And 10 years from today, he’ll wish he had this time back. I could promise him that.

At another point in my tour, I couldn’t help but overhear another young man fretting over the coming summer. Should he stay in College Station, or should he go home to Dallas?

He was going through the pros and cons of both to his friend, and I have to admit, I was impressed at how he was thinking it through. But I felt the urge to go to him and tell him that neither choice was wrong. He is blessed to be in a time in his life that everything is a chance to grow and experience life. In a weird way, being a student gives him a safety net that “the real world” will not offer in the next few years. Enjoy having that problem. Revel in having the options ahead of you, and know that neither one is wrong. Both will offer lessons in life. Both will find you wiser come Fall Semester.

Its a funny thing about taking some time to visit your roots. You find yourself studying the lessons you’ve learned along the way. You realize you wish someone would have told you these lessons ahead of time. And yet within that, you find its learning these lessons on your own that have made them stick.

So even as I wanted to “offer words of advice” it was best I kept my musings to myself. Those lessons were for me to learn my own way, and for these current students to learn their own way as well. And some day, they may take their own stroll on campus and have the urge to share their own advice, but they, too, won’t.

Me and my husband -- Valentine's 2010

I remember that in Kindergarten, on Valentine’s Day my parents gave me a card/book with cherry heart lollipops. I honestly wish I still had that book! I can’t tell you anything about the story any more, but I remember getting my teacher to read it to the class that day. (Come to think about it now, I think I’ve always liked to “share with the class.” Hence blogging.)

The other day, I asked my niece if she was looking forward to her Valentine’s Day party at school. If she’d get lots of cards from her classmates. Her response was, “Like always.” I had to laugh to myself. I miss those little cards! I always liked the many ways “Denise” could be spelled, and there was something nice about having all your classmates have to think of you for a minute in the form of those little cards.

In high school, Valentine’s Day 1997, I attended my first concert ever. Bryan White — whom I admit I had a huge crush on at that time — was playing in Waco, TX. A girl friend and I had floor seats for the show, and I jokingly would say I had a date with Bryan for the night. It was an amazing night, and I have to say it was definitely THE night my life focus changed from being small-town Texas girl for life and setting my sights on Music City and the music business.

College days came and so did an “ok-ness” with being single. I had great Valentine’s in high school, but being single and NOT having roses in the office waiting for me all four years? Was almost worse than being picked last for dodge ball in elementary school. However, in college, there wasn’t the pressure or finger pointing of “single” or “dating” that there was before.

An excerpt from my LiveJournal on Feb. 14, 2002:

I am so content and happy with my singleness. I don’t need a man to validate me as a person or anything. I am me. I like me. Yeah, maybe it is “Singles Awareness Day”. Fine by me! I am aware I am single. And I’m okay with that.

I have the bestest friends. In real life and on the net. You guys just keep me grinning like mad. Most of you I’ve only know for a few months, but already you’ve helped me through some rough times. You’ve laughed with me. You’ve cried with me. You’ve done more than was necessary. I love you all from the bottom of my heart. How I got so lucky to get to know you, I’ll never know. Nor will I question it. I am just thankful for each and every one of you. Happy Valentine’s to you…

In 2003, I wrecked my truck the day before Valentine’s Day, and in 2004 I got my belly button pierced. You can’t say I don’t have eventful Valentine’s Days sometimes!

Three years after celebrating my singleness, on Valentine’s Day 2005, my now-husband and I said “I love you” for the first time. Quit dancing around it and said it. At least we picked an easy day to remember!

Now married three years, but due to work, my husband and I have only spent the last two Valentine’s Days together. And that’s okay… doesn’t make the day any less special. I know we should tell those we love that we do love them every chance you get. But there’s something nice about having a day set aside to really focus on that fact. To tell everyone — our “significant others,” our families, our friends — that we love them. That we care about them. That we are glad they are in our lives.

To everyone who reads this… Happy Valentine’s Day. May you love and be loved deeply.

(By the way, to those who think this holiday was created to sell cards, history tells us it was celebrated as far back as the Middle Ages… long before Hallmark cards. So. PBTHTHTHTHTHTH)

Pumpkin Patch and corn maze my husband and I went to last October

I love Fall.

Fall, however, has notoriously not loved me.

I love the crispness of the Fall air. The change of leaves. Football games. Pumpkin patches. Oktoberfest. Sweaters. Birthdays. Halloween. Thanksgiving. It’s just my favorite season of the year!

However, the last two years, at the very end of September and into October, I’ve been plagued by absolutely horrendous sinus infections. Allergies go crazy, and I end up succumbing to pain and pressure. Two years ago, I actually got so bad that the entire left side of my face became swollen!

So, of course, when I woke up on October 1st with my nose all stuffed up and a general BLAH feeling, I immediately became paranoid. I refuse to get that sick again this year! Especially in the wake of the various strains of flu already going around.

Hand sanitizer is my best friend these days. That’s right along side of my Neti pot, which is one of the best purchases I have ever made in my life. I take Zyrtek daily, and I keep Sudafed and Muscinex on hand at all times. These are my items of arsenal against illness. I hope they work!

Now, don’t get me wrong. October is not an “all bad” month for me. I moved to Nashville in October 2006. We moved into our house in October 2007. My nephew was born in October, as was my sister-in-law. My parents got married in October.

October has definitely, on a whole, been a wonderful month for me in my life, and I am going to go into this October with optimism…

… and a box of Kleenex and my Neti Pot.