Musician's Widow

That picture is my attempt to be all “bad ass” and stuff. It didn’t work, but I am wearing my Battle of the Bell t-shirt for tonight’s big game.

Battle of the bell?

Big game?

Yes, tonight is the night my high school plays its #1 rival, a competition that has long been called “The Battle of the Bell.”  The Cameron Yoeman take on the Rockdale Tigers, and while I live over 800 miles away, I still feel that old competition course through my veins.

According to the History of Rockdale, Milam County Website, (and, yes, I am quoting word-for-word here):
The Rockdale-Cameron game is one of the state’s best rivalry games.Since 1954, the winner has proudly rung a big brass victory bell, which is symbolic of Milam County football supremacy. The bell, taken from a steam locomotive, was donated to the two schools by the Rockdale, Sandow & Southern Railroad in 1954. Bragging rights to Milam County football supremacy come with the bell; therefore, the two communities encourage their charges to bring home the brass beauty for another year. Over the years the bell has helped fuel one of Texas high school football’s longest and most-storied rivalries.

That same bell was the one that we fought over when I was in high school. I was proud when the bell came back to Cameron one year, we did repaint it the more traditional half maroon and gray (Cameron) and half blue and gold (Rockdale). It didn’t last though, and each year it went back to being painted the color of whatever school had it for that year.

The bell broke multiple times over the years, and one time was actually stolen and thrown into the Little River (which runs through Milam County). I have to say, I had plenty of time even I wanted to throw the bell in the river. The rivalry could get as ugly and nasty as any college rivalry until I had times I wondered if it was worth the stress. However, at the end of the day, I will always have an interest in the rivalry.

As I said, the bell broke many times over, and in 2001 it was replaced with a new, almost identical, brass bell by Yoe High School graduate Catherine Thomas. Fitting considering the fact that my CAMERON YOEMEN hold the winning record for the series. According to a post on the Cameron Yoeman Facebook page, we won 38 times in the 55 meetings: 1954, 1955, 1957, 1958, 1960, 1964, 1965, 1969, 1971-75, 1978, 1979, 1981-87, 1989, 1990, 1991, 1993, 1994, 1996 – 2002, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2008

Hopefully tonight we will make it win 39 in 56.

This is one of the very few years Cameron and Rockdale will battle without being in the same district. In fact, currently Cameron is ranked 2A, while Rockdale remained 3A in the recent district realignments. In the past, this game has been left for the last game of the season. Often its even been the game that decided which team would move into playoffs.

This year, it is played early and with nothing but a bell and bragging rights on the line… oh that and to move on with an undefeated season. When it comes to this game, district rankings and the years win-loss stats matter none, though. This is about heart and a deeper rivalry that Hollywood blockbusters are made from. I’ve lived that rivalry… and tonight I sit here in my old Battle of the Bell t-shirt with my school’s song playing in my head…

“On Yoe High” (Written by Portia Kruse and Francis Cox) Praise to our school we sing, each his loyal honor brings; Together we the Yoemen stand, to spread our praise through all the land.  To represent as best we can, in all our competition, and our hopes, our pride, our love compound in you, dear school.

Yay Maroon!  Yay Gray! Yay Yoemen! ALL THE WAY!!

Fight Song: “Our Boys Will Shine Tonight” Our boys will shine tonight; our boys will shine. Our boys will shine tonight; our boys will shine. Our boys will shine tonight; our boys will shine. When the sun goes down and the moon comes up, our boys will shine.

>>  Post game update:  Cameron Yoemen take the win 35 – 13!  GO BIG YOE!! <<

I had a whole different blog post planned tonight. I want to speak on the good that has come out of this flood. But now I feel compelled to instead attack head on hateful words I’ve read tonight.

I was born and raised in Texas. I will forever be a Texan in my heart. I love the state deeply. It’s more than a state… its a state of mind. However, I have truly grown to love Nashville just as deeply as I love Texas. Nashville is more than just a city. Its the people that make it so special.

All that being said, I was alarmed when a friend informed me she had read hateful posts aimed at Nashville on a Texas Artist’s Facebook page after that artist had sent out love to the city. Before I could look up the post, I ran into the same thing on yet another Texas Artist’s page!

I am literally sitting here stung.

There is a definite difference between the Texas Music scene and what you would call the Nashville Country Music scene. And I happen to be someone who likes both, and who has criticized elements of both in the same breath.

My husband is in the music industry, and to say I’ve grown jaded of it would be an understatement. But at the end of the day, I absolutely love it and I wouldn’t trade my life and the craziness of the music industry.

I wonder how many Texans know that on any given night in this city, you can find any style of music you want being performed live. We have rock bars, blues bars, jazz bars. We even have karaoke bars (groan). I wonder how many know that ALL types of music consider the Grand Ole Opry hallowed ground because of its history in music in general. I wonder how many realize that what they hear on the radio is perhaps only 2% of the music available in Nashville.

There is so much about this city that you have to come visit and experience in person to understand.

And the biggest thing within it is simply the people. We’re not all perfect, and you’ll run into your person who is in a bad mood or has a bad attitude, but on a whole the city is a friendly and open city. Yet at the same time, its a small community. It’s the strangest thing and it took me forever to wrap my brain around it! I am more likely to run into someone I know at the mall here than I am to run into someone I know at the store back in my small hometown in Texas. Nashville is the biggest small town you’ll ever experience. I even know some of the homeless by name, and I know if I were ever in danger they’d come to my rescue. How does that happen!?

As a teaser to my next blog post, I heard a story the other day about someone going out to help the homeless (who have also been displaced by the flood). Only they couldn’t find them… because the homeless were helping others themselves!

I’ve said it several times lately, but I mean it.  I have been humbled by this city more times in the last few days than I could ever describe. The giving spirit has been stunning. So while this city has humbled me…

…people in my own home state have stunned me with their hateful words towards Nashville. I know so many Texans in Nashville, and I am sure they would all be just as hurt as I am by words such as, “I feel bad for any folks dealing with the wrath of mother nature but…yes the Nashville sound sucks so bad God is trying to wash away the grand ol’ opry and hopefully CMT too!” or “Nashville can shove it! Stay Texas true!!“

I always thought that Texans were proud of their country and held themselves to a high standard. Yes, I read many rebuttals to these posts and others like them. People chastising these words, and standing up for Nashville.

“Feeling sorry for the city and the people of NASHVILLE and the destruction they are dealing with has nothing to do with OUR Texas artists and their music. Have a heart you losers. ‘True’ Texans know & understand the difference!“

I truly believe that last statement, but sadly its the ones that spew such hate that make the biggest impact. It is their statements that will give Texas a black-eye for a long time to come.  Their slaps leave a mark, and as a Texan I think the mark left on my emotions runs deeper than it does on others.

Please, Texas Music Fans, realize that this is about people’s lives. This is about caring about our fellow man, woman and child. This is about caring about our fellow Americans. Please take a moment to realize that before you confuse it or combine it strictly with what kind of music you like.

Anyone wishing to help can donate the the Nashville Red Cross by visiting www.nashvilleredcross.org/donate

I love Nashville. I really do. Its become my home, and I lovingly refer to it as “my city.”

However, it has a high failure rate in one location.

Texas Music concerts.

Which, really, it makes sense for Texas Music to not fit in Nashville. I mean, Nashville isn’t in Texas, which is a big problem right there! And a big part of the charm of the Texas Music scene is that its not polished. It’s not clean like the Nashville sound. It’s a little more rock-and-roll, whereas I think Nashville leans a little more towards to pop-sound to morph its Country sound here and there.

Jason Boland & Cody Canada

Just going and being at a Texas Music concert in Texas is a big part of the fun. You have your hardcore rednecks. You have your bitchy girlie-girls. You have your drunk guy who’s going to probably spill his beer on you at some point in the night. It’s elbow to elbow and you can hardly stir the crowd with a stick. You have to get there at least an hour to two hours before showtime if you want to be even remotely close to the stage. You’re probably going to have the urge to cuss at least ten people out at some point.

But you’re ultimately surrounded by people who GET it. Who are passionate about the music. Who know the words to all the band’s cover songs, new songs, old songs, and who are going to know exactly when to participate and when to sit back and take it all in.

Going to see a Texas Music group in Nashville is missing a good chunk of what makes the experience so incredible. It’s fun to see all the Texans (and a few from Oklahoma!) in Nashville come out. Often sporting either their University’s colors (There’s usually some fun Big XII trash talk going on.) or their favorite old Cross Canadian Ragweed t-shirt. There’s a buzz in the air, but its diluted. It’s level of rowdiness is no where near that found “back home.” No one sings the words of the songs OVER the artist. In a lot of ways, its impossible to explain how or why. It’s just not the same.

Eli Young Band @ HLSR

I went last week to see Eli Young Band at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. I’ve seen the band several times in Nashville, and every time been blown away by their show. But I’ve been severely let down by the audience. That night at the show in Houston, I was amazed. AMAZED.

In that huge rodeo arena, where everyone was spread out. You could STILL hear the fans singing OVER the band. You still had your rednecks and your bitchy girlie girls. But more than anything, you had that passion of the people who GET it.

Since that night, I’ve been listening to my favorite Texas artists, reliving in my mind the many shows I’ve seen with friends. Laughing at memories of them. Wishing I could be at one of those shows in that very  moment. Wanting to show my husband what it was all about. Wanting to call my girlfriends and tell them to saddle up and let’s go! It’s showtime!

Oh, I still get excited to know a Texas Music artist is in Nashville, and I’ll try to make the show. However, if I miss it, its not that big of a deal. Because I know that I’ll ultimately leave the show feeling a little unfulfilled. The music and the artist will be great, but the audience just won’t be what I’ve come to know and expect. Chances are, I’ll even leave early. I’d rather save up and make the trip “back home” to see a show. Because I know it is then and there that I’ll truly get my money’s worth.

PS – Nashville, I still love you! But no one is perfect.

I was born and raised in Texas, but I call Nashville, Tennessee home now. However, from January – April, I spend more time in Texas than in Tennessee.

See, my parents own and operate a bookkeeping and income tax preparation service. I’ve worked for them off and on for over ten years, and in the past couple of years we’ve realized something. They need the help during tax season, and its the time of year that my husband and I desperately need one of us working more steadily. So, instead of them hiring someone else that they’d have to train, and instead of me finding some part-time temp work, we discover a win-win situation for us all.

Win-win outside of the fact that I am away from home for weeks at a time. We joke that its the time of year in which I go on the road for work. Its work that I do honestly enjoy. There’s a nice familiarity to it, and it is kind of fun! (Besides, how can you not be grateful for the opportunity to spend quality time with your parents?)

Then come summer, its my husband who goes on the road for work for days — occasionally weeks — at a time. He’ll be off doing his job which is a huge part of who he is. Music is, I think, actually part of his genetic make-up! It’s that much a part of him.

Needless to say, within all of this, we’re good at being apart. Doesn’t mean we LIKE it. It just means we’re not going to fall apart being apart.

So here I am, writing from home. Nashville-home. Wishing I could make these next few hours stretch and lengthen. Tomorrow, I head back to Texas to finish out tax season, and I won’t be back home for over a month. Luckily, my husband’s job will bring him within a few hours of me in a few weeks, so I’ll at least get to spend a little while with him before I go home. I’ll be looking forward to that more than anyone knows.

See, as cheesy as the line has become thanks to a certain movie, we really do complete each other. It’s why we’re married and best friends! We both have an extra spring in our step when we’re together. To quote a card my husband gave me when I came home last week: “Good things are twice as fun… Bad things are only half as bad.”

That being said, I am left sitting here pondering the fact that both locations are places I consider “home.” One being where my roots are. The other being where I am laying new roots. Both places have their own rhythm. Both places have elements that I love. Both places have elements I dislike. But in the end… they’re both a part of me.

So every time I fly from one location to another, I feel excited and happy. I also feel an element of sadness to be leaving wherever I am leaving — be it Texas or Nashville. It’s a strange feeling. A strange place to be in. And yet its nice. Nice to have two places to call home.

Home is where the is love. And the more love a person has, the better off they are. Because its more valuable than gold. More precious than diamonds. It’s home.

I heard an article yesterday that a college in Massachusetts is now accepting YouTube videos of students applying for admission.

An excerpt from the story:

“We’re not judging it on the qualities of the production values,” says Lee Coffin, dean of admissions at Tufts. “We’re not looking for Oscar-winning short films. What we’re really hoping to get out of these videos is another part of the puzzles that make up this 17-year-old person.”

I’m glad I didn’t have this kind of pressure on my shoulders when I applied to college!  However, I can’t help but sit and wonder what I’d have done as a video when I was 17. Who I am today and who I was twelve a few years ago are two different people! However, in the same breath, my core values haven’t changed one bit.

First and foremost, I would have to introduce my family. It’s changed some since I was 17. My niece and my husband have both been added to the family since then. More love to go around! I have without a doubt been blessed with the most amazing family. A family that is supportive and loving. A family that laughs together and leans on each other. A family that I can always rely on to be there for me. And one that I will always been here for… they are truly the people who mold me more than anything else.

My faith would also be at the top of the list. My faith and the hope and strength God gives to me is a huge part of who I am. I am not someone who will wear my faith on my sleeve, but I also will not deny it. I will not hold back how much I do lean on it to get me through trials in life.

My faith is stronger today than it was back then.

Home would have to be introduced. Back then, I would have focused on my hometown, and my love for wide open fields and back roads. Today, I would have to show that, but I would also have to put a heavy focus on my city. I absolutely love Nashville and its vibe. I love its melting pot of people, and the wonderful friends I’ve made there.

My school would have to be acknowledged. Back then, high school and the pride I had in my school then. Today, being an Aggie is a bigger part of who I am than anyone could ever understand or truly respect. Digs against my school could very will be considered a dig against me personally. My school is more than its football team. My school is a family in and of itself. I could never ask anyone to understand. All I ever ask is to for it to be respected.

Finally, lots of little quirks make me who I am. Back then, things like yearbook, newspaper, band, flags, CDs and my pick up truck would be who I would introduce. Today, writing, photography, travel, my cats, my home, and a good home-cooked meal would probably be what I add to the mix.

Come to think of it, there would be absolutely no way for me to capture all the things that make me who I am in a way that would be true to myself. I suspect many of those applying for admission are realizing that fact, and are instead taking the catchy route. Sometimes its easier to entertain than it is to study yourself.

But at 17 — heck at ANY age — its not a bad idea to do just that. Take time to consider what it is that makes you who you are, and a step beyond that… how do you portray that to the world?

I still remember my dad doing tax returns out of our living room when I was a kid. He had a full-time job during the day, but would do returns in the evenings between January and April 15th.

As the years passed, the living room office turned into a separate building, and the full-time job for both Mom and Dad became the family business. By the time I was in high school, I was used to having them able to attend countless events due to the flexibility of self-employment. However, in the same breath, I coined myself the term “Tax Season Orphan” as through tax season, I was used to their putting in long hours at work.

I would help out at the office regularly. Sometimes filing. Sometimes shredding papers. Sometimes data input. Sometimes just running errands. I could really truthfully say I’ve worked at the office since high school, its just been a bit sporadic.

I swore I wouldn’t do anything dealing with math, and my love for writing sent me to a Journalism degree. I worked at a newspaper for a year and a half, and, of course, I’ve married and moved to Nashville. Nonetheless, I have continued to help out using my degree for advertising, designing the web-site, etc.

Last year, I spent most of tax season in Texas working at the family business. My husband and I joked that it was my turn to be on the road for work, like he usually is doing his job. I would spend three weeks in Texas, one week in Nashville, and then do it all over again. All the way through tax season.

It worked out nicely! My parents didn’t have to hire and train a new employee, and I was happy to have the work. So, it was pretty much a no-brainer to do it again this year.

Today was my first day in the office for this tax season.

My husband and I drove down to Texas last week, as he has a show in Houston anyway. I was able to come see him at work for the show, and we got to spend a few extra days together going into the season.

He left back for Nashville yesterday, and I teased him that he was a Tax Season Widower.

It is what it is, and we’re good at the long-distance thing. For the next three months, I’m the Musician’s Widow married to the Tax Season Widower. We’re a pair, aren’t we? I think the time apart makes us appreciate our time together all the more… and that makes me grateful.

So here we go! Most of my time in Texas, with trips to Nashville in between. Let the “Tax Season Shuffle” begin!