See, I’ve had others say I’m a photographer. I’ve had others say I’m a writer. But I, myself, have always said, “I’m trying to get into writing.” or “I’m trying to get into photography.” I actually had someone get almost mad at me one day and go, “There is no try. You ARE.”

And. I guess. Tonight it hit me. Really hit me. I am. And so with that, I embrace that I am a glutton for punishment. Because on top of NaNoWriMo this month. On top of finishing and preparing to start another Project 365. I am ALSO participating in NaBloPoMo — aka National Blog Posting Month. A blog post every day for the month of November.

Yes. I am crazy. But I am a writer. And I am a photographer. And these things are important to me.

So, upon having a total case of blog-block tonight, I made my way over to the NaBloPoMo homebase and looked for today’s writing prompt.

Friday, November 4, 2011
When you are writing, do you prefer to use a pen or a computer?

Ah. I will never give up my spiral notebook and pen. I prefer to write on the computer in general. Its just faster. But, I have to have my notebook and pen to jot notes. I think if I were still in college, I’d STILL lug a backpack of spirals over a laptop to lectures.

I heard that many schools don’t even bother to teach penmanship any more. I heard cursive writing is a thing of the past. And this makes me so sad to hear. I love getting cards in the mail. I still love handwritten letters. You need to know how to fill out a paper application for some jobs! And… dang it, sometime you just need to write a check.

Yes! I STILL WRITE CHECKS. (Oh okay, I only write them for my rent payment and to make donations at church. But still! I write them!)

I still get little hearts in my eyes at gel pens at the store. And Sharpies… Sharpies are just FUN. I wish my handwriting were better — I always have — but its not bad. And your handwriting is as much a part of who you are as is your eye color. I don’t want to see that fact just go away with laptops and smart phones.

I do prefer to write on the computer — but I will always ALWAYS love pens and paper.

Songwriters Matt Willis and Rick Tiger

Yesterday, I went to a writer’s night to see a couple friends perform their songs. I’ve attended other writer’s nights, but last night… last night was just something special for me.

I sat down, and I listened. Really listened. Oh okay, I snapped a few photos, but I was there to be a spectator, not a photographer. My husband commented that I had a smile on my face the whole time.

For me, it was not just about the music, it was about watching these people living their dreams. Writing their songs and performing for people who want to hear them. I was so proud of my friends. So happy for them!

And… I was in awe.

See, when someone asks me what I do, I used to respond, “I’m a writer!”

I don’t do that any more. Not that I’m not a writer (blogger), but when you say “writer” in Nashville, people think you are a songwriter. And, hey, its an easy and logical assessment! Music city. Writer. Music. Songs. Songwriter. Makes sense.

But, alas, no. I am no songwriter. In fact, I am in awe of songwriters. I admire their abilities to convey such emotion through their words. I admire their ability to tell a whole story in a few verses and a chorus. I admire their ability to take a throw away hook and turn it into a work of art.

I write, but I can’t craft a song. I don’t even do (serious) poetry. I might write the random limerick or haiku for humor-sake. Perhaps a cute little rhyme here and there. But past that? I leave the song writing to the professionals. I admire their talents. I respect them. And I sincerely wish them all the success in the world doing it.

As far back as I can remember, I’ve loved books. I devoured books. The best Christmas gifts ever usually came in the form of… you guessed it… books. By second grade I was reading chapter books. Boxcar Children was my series, thanks to my teacher reading the first book of the series to us in class. (My addiction to series books later morphed into Baby-Sitters Club and the various Sweet Valley series.)

In 3rd grade, I started competing in writing competitions. Every year I’d enter. And every year, until 7th grade, I couldn’t win to save my soul. But it never stopped me from trying. I enjoyed learning how to write descriptively, or how to write a how to paper. I never minded the writing portions of tests (often accused of not even knowing how to write “short answers” because they’d always end up too detailed), and I would often “write” stories in my mind as I fell asleep at night. (Usually based on whatever book I was reading at the time.)

I hit high school, and I took journalism as “an easy A” and I discovered a talent for the writing style. So I pursued it all the way through college. I went into my first newspaper job, and I found what I loved was my column writing. Free form writing again. No journalistic rules (outside of, of course, making sure I was being honest and not slandering anyone). Just write whatever was on my mind. And I even won an award for one of my columns!

Even when I wasn’t in a writing job, I’d write. Fan fiction became a new outlet for me. Then just writing daily in my private journal. I have always been writing. It’s become like breathing for me. I have to do it to clear my thoughts. I have to to it to share with the world. And maybe, just maybe, it’ll mean something to someone else.

I was recently asked to put a price tag on my blog. I came up with some sort of arbitrary number, even as I wanted to scream, “PRICELESS!” Its like being asked to put a price tag on oxygen for me. If I didn’t have this blog, I’d have another one. I have to write. I need to write. I love to write.

Maybe some day I’ll actually make a little money doing it…

passion – a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept

My husband’s passion is music. It’s why he’s a musician. It’s why every time he gets fed up with the industry for awhile he doesn’t give up in the end. Its too much a part of who he is to ever give it up in frustration. It’s also why I won’t let him give it up. I’ll do anything I can to make sure he stays in and with the music.

Similarly, my dad is a bookkeeper and tax preparer. He’s notorious for counting things. When I was in band, he’d count how many people were in other bands. Or he’ll figure how many people can fit in a venue. Dad’s all about numbers, and he’s made a living working with them.

For me? I always find myself coming back to writing/photography/design work. Primarily writing.

When I look back on life, a recurring theme is writing. Already in third grade I was competing in writing competitions. Every time I had a new electives option, I’d go for the writing elective. In college, I majored in Journalism, and one of my favorite classes I ever took was a creative writing course.

I’ve had a private journal since 2001, and I worked for a year and a half at a newspaper. Now I have this blog and I’m more and more determined to nurture it and let it be a creative outlet.

At the end of the day, I know its what I want to make my living doing. Writing. It’s MY passion.

I thoroughly enjoy design in addition to it, and I’ve found a fascination with photography. I’ve never nurtured photography until I did my 365 Project, and that project sparked an interest that I want to explore further. Photography in addition to my writing just seems to make sense. One of these days I’ll upgrade from a point and shoot to advance myself in that medium.

Anyway, all this being said, I’m finding we all have our own passions in life. The talents we are given to use. Unfortunately, life and the economy often don’t care about passion. All they care about is the almighty dollar. Many times I’ve considered throwing in the towel on my writing dreams. It seems like this impossible mountain to climb — making a life at it.

But then I look at my husband, who has successfully made music his career. I look at so many others who have a talent and a dream, and they work to make it happen. I can do it, too.

I enjoy other jobs. I find joy simply in doing work. There’s satisfaction in a job well done, whatever that job may be. But at the end of the day, its writing that I love to do. And its writing that will remain my focus.

So I ask, what’s your passion? Are you living it? Or has it gotten lost in a maze of bills and bureaucracy?