Musician's Widow

“Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!”

I’ve migrated from Blogger to WordPress… Welcome to the new Musician’s Widow!!

I’ve spent a lot of time with some “newbie” “musician’s widows” as of late. It is indeed tour season, and many of “our men” are out on the road livin’ the dream. They talk about the time apart and how hard it is. I end up just nodding along… been there, done that. I will do it again. Preaching to the choir here. Preaching to the choir.

As I always tell them to remember… it’s always that first day or two that are the hardest. ESPECIALLY when its an extra long run, as they tend to be in the summer. You feel the void more than ever. Good-byes always are hard. But you do eventually get into a routine of your own, and time passes relatively quickly. It especially helps when you have friends you can see in the time he is gone.

I’m not really leaving that life these days so much. I’m getting used to having my husband at home! I’m downright spoiled, in fact, by having him here.

However, he also has his CDL and he co-drives whenever he’s out on the road. This weekend, he is helping a friend out by co-driving for Montel Williams (of all people!). It’s a short run for him, but it gave me a taste of “the life” again for a few days. I have so much work to do these days that this time has passed quickly, and he’ll be home tomorrow evening.

We’re embarking on a new endeavor that could prove to change our lives dramatically. It already is in a way, and we’re welcoming the challenge with excitement. I will possibly be posting about it more at a later date, but until that time… we just keep on keepin’ on.

It’s been four months since I last posted, and life’s been quite the roller coaster in those months. As it always is, of course, but perhaps moreso than ever. I’ve stayed busy doing my thing. My husband was busy doing his thing. Now… we’re busy doing each of our things together.

See, a couple weeks ago, my husband ended his time with the artist he’d been working for over the last 10 months. It came as a surprise, but thankfully we’re in an okay place at the moment for it have happened. Mostly, it’s been frustrating and disheartening. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve become jaded with the music business in general. However, I won’t give up on it either.

There are other things in the works, though, and I firmly believe the adage that everything happens for a reason. We’re just not yet in a place to see what that reason may be… We may never be, honestly. But I know there is a reason.

In the mean time, my husband and I have been busier than ever with work. Last week was CMA Music Fest in Nashville. It kept us both hopping. It kept all of Nashville hopping. I think anyone who had anything to do with the event is still recovering, and will be for at least the rest of the week.

However, it was a great time to network, and it made me appreciate more than ever my blessings of having work to do and being able to do said work. (The gas prices these days remind me to be grateful for that as well!)

But, as my subject line states, when it rains it pours. During a solo this weekend, my husband blew a speaker. THE speaker in fact. So it must be fixed before he can gig again. Then on top of that, our washing machine went out in a fit of smoke. And our oldest cat is sick. I’m half waiting to see what is going to fall apart next!! But… I am honestly in a mode to have to just laugh about it. Because I know things will get better, and I know that God never gives us more than we can handle. So I keep my head high and my mood optimistic.

Oh don’t think I’ve not gotten down over the last few weeks — because I have. But getting down doesn’t fix anything. It just makes things more dismal. I prefer to be optimistic and proactive to get things back on track.

And to find the humor in most situations.

Stress can be negative or it can be positive. I think it all depends on how you react to said stress.

Yesterday, my husband and I went from having a couple of quiet days ahead of us to having to get him ready and to the bus in about four hours time. A last-minute show (filling in for a fellow, ailing, artist) came into the schedule and they had to be in Wisconsin by the next morning. We got the call at about 5 pm.

At first, I was a little bit frustrated by the change in schedule. But, it didn’t take long to realize I needed to just be grateful for the added show. Plus, last-minute changes in his work schedule are not new to us. Though, usually its a show canceled last moment versus one being added! Nice change of pace right there!!

We had been out running errands, and I had planned a nice supper at home. However, with the newly truncated time schedule, we opted for a quick meal out. As soon as we got home, my husband got to work learning a new song they want to put in the show. I, on the other hand, quickly got to work on getting things together for him to go. I made coffee for him to have for driving the bus for a few hours. I ironed his show shirts. I was happy to do all I could to make this change in plans easier to handle.

What’s funny, though, is that I think we were both in a total daze for most of the evening. It can be hard to comprehend the changes that have occurred, even as you are handling them.

When the time came, I took him to bus call. I plan to drive to his show on Saturday, and we’ll drive back from there together. So there was no need for him to take his truck to the bus lot and then try to figure out a way to pick it up later this weekend.

My point in all of it is this: when changes occur, you can either fight them or adjust with them. Adjusting with them admittedly challenging, but its also less stressful. Why? Because if we all make adjustments together, less changes have to occur for each person. And that’s just a much happier and more peaceful situation — no matter what the specific case may be.

Ultimately, for us, this probably ended up being a good change. It’ll make for a less stressful weekend for both of us in the end. A few hours of, “ACK!” is worth it.

A month passes since I last posted here, and a billion changes have once again occurred.

My husband has, once again, changed jobs. This one brings almost twice as many show dates and takes him off on the road for weeks on end. I truly am a musician’s widow now!!

It’s always hard to leave a job, and this most recent change was hard to make for emotional reasons. His former co-workers and boss are dear friends, and the feeling of abandoning them was strong. However, the new job offer was one he could not pass up, and luckily they understood.

Earlier this week he loaded all his gear on the back of a semi and boarded a bus for three weeks on a west coast run.

Interestingly, so much about this new job has given us both goosebumps as one thing after another just fell into place. It’s felt just so RIGHT time and time again that it was (and still is) just overwhelming!

The nicest part of it ALL? Hearing the happiness in my husband’s voice. Not that he wasn’t happy before, but he’s just happier than I’ve heard him in a long time. The only stress he’s had is wanting to do a good job and impress the new camp.

The night of his first show, he called me after it was all over. I wanted to cry and scream and squeal with joy as he talked about how well it went. I’d been so tense and stressed all night hoping and praying it would go okay. When he hung up I started jumping around the apartment screaming (quietly as it was after midnight) about how well it went. Hearing him SO HAPPY just gives me this overwhelming happiness as well.

On another great note, the day after the job offer came through, we found out we’ll be able to get into a house in October after all. We’re SO excited! Our first home!! New job. New house. Before anyone asks, NO I am NOT pregnant. I got asked that a billion times lately, and I’m going to put a stop to it right here and now.

Now, as I said, the new job is so many more shows that he’s not home much. More shows are constantly being added, which is WONDERFUL… but at the same time a few recent additions have made me pout a little as they take away a few of our small windows of opportunity to be together. I miss my husband! Does that really surprise anyone?

He and I talked about it last night, and we agreed… we’re just having to make adjustments and get used to this whole new schedule and way of life. We’ve wanted this for a long time and here it is… time to dig in and live the dream!