Musician's Widow

Tomorrow is the big day for February. Valentine’s Day. Red hearts, red roses, and boxes of chocolate. Teddy bears, dinner dates and romance in the air.

Or not.

My Twitter and Facebook are already starting to light up with disgruntled singles, calling it “Singles’ Awareness Day.” There are even couples complaining about the expense of the day and how they aren’t going to exchange gifts. There isn’t all love on this day of love.

I say bah humbug to ‘em all.

Valentine’s Day can be awesome no matter what your stage in life.

As a kid, its fun to exchange cards with classmates. There is art to make, and you can do like my sister-in-law did with my niece and nephew and their cousins… have a cupcake decorating night!

If you are single, you can spoil yourself! I have bought myself flowers before. Take a bubble bath, or treat yourself to a massage day. (Or both!) Buy yourself that new thing you’ve been wanting but “just can’t justify buying.”

Spoil your friends, parents, nieces and nephews, or just go buy those kiddie cards and give them to anyone and everyone. The cashier at the store. Your cab driver. Send one in with your deposit at the bank. Okay, maybe not the last one, lest they think its a robbery attempt. Or send it but not in an envelop. Yeah, that would work.

Celebrate love in general!

If you are in a relationship and are grumbling about the cost of it, write a love letter instead! Go old school and cut hearts out of construction paper. You don’t have to spend much. Or perhaps agree to each give to your favorite charity instead of spending the money on flowers and candy.

There are SO MANY things you can do to embrace Valentine’s Day without being cliché or bitter about it. Just think outside the box and with an open heart. It doesn’t have to be about romantic love… it’s about love in general.

And I, for one, Love that.

This was the 10th New Year’s Eve I’ve spent with my husband.

We rang in…
2003: Billy Bob’s Texas, Ft. Worth, TX
2004: Cowboys Red River, Dallas, TX
2005: Sixth Street, Austin, TX
2006: Jubitz, Portland, OR
2007: Flag Hall, Cyclone, TX
2008: Lexington, KY
2009: Fiddle & Steel, Nashville, TN
2010: Flag Hall, Cyclone, TX
2011: Fiddle & Steel, Nashville, TN
2012: Fiddle & Steel, Nashville, TN

This was the first year that we BOTH worked the night, which meant we were together, but not. My husband taking the cover charge at the door; me, slinging drinks behind the bar.

It was a crazy  night, a bigger New Year’s Eve than I’d seen in… well… ever. SO many people downtown Nashville, and it got scary to look up at the bar patrons. Lined four deep, it got overwhelming at times, trying to keep up with the demand. We ran out of most of our beer, and we actually called it a night a little bit early.

Didn’t help much, as we still didn’t leave the bar until 5:30 am… but I have to say, I can’t think of a more satisfying way to open 2012. Working hard as the clock struck midnight. Lets hope this year is full of hard, satisfying work, where we end it looking back feeling like we’ve been successful in all our endeavors.

Happy New Year, everyone!

Dear Santa,

Tomorrow your big night arrives. Hope you are ready!!

Sorry to be writing so late. That seems to be a trend for me this season. My Christmas Cards will go out days after Christmas, too. So I guess I’m doing good to write this before the big day at all!

I have so much to be thankful for this year. It’s been a wonderful rebuilding and healing year for us. We are entering 2012 with a confidence we haven’t had in a few years. I am excited to see where this year takes us… I am so very optimistic!

So I write to you with a heart full of hope and the belief that the magic of Christmas will continue to hold true. That it will be as amazing as it ever has been!

Christmas isn’t just for little kids. They, of course, have a far more innocent view of it. I miss that innocence, that feeling the big day will just never get here. These days, the holidays sneak up on me and I’m left lamenting how I am not ready! How I need more time to prepare, to get into the spirit of the season.

Luckily, despite being amazed Christmas is already here, I am sufficiently into the spirit of the season. I’m ready for lots of food, gifts, carols, laughter, and the birth of baby Jesus.

If you have a little room in your sleigh, could you hook me up with some more camera gear? Lenses, flashes, etc. I want it all! And some jeans? Maybe some cute sweaters and new boots? Could you throw a receptor in for my husband? He’s been wanting one for years now. If you can’t do the camera gear and receptor, could you slip some plane tickets to Oregon for us for February? Or just some money towards it? It’s been three years since we got to visit friends and family up there. We are long over due for it. I’d love a few new CDs or just an iTunes giftcard. Finally, we are due some new phones. In fact, we can upgrade our phones next week, but if you wanted to throw a couple iPhones in your bag for us… I wouldn’t complain one bit.

You know what, though? If you just take good care of my niece and nephew, I’ll be happy. Spoil them tomorrow night. We’ll figure out the rest.

Safe travels, Santa. I’ll be going to midnight mass, and I’ll look for you in the skies on my way home afterwards.

Love,

Denise

Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!

I was blessed to spend the day with family. Hubby, Mom, Dad, my brother, sister-in-law, nephew and niece. We had supper together…  Turkey, dressing, sausage, tamales, green bean casserole, rolls, deviled eggs, fruit salad, cake, pumpkin pie, cherry pie, apple pie, cookies, etc.

We watched the last Aggie vs. Texas game… the nail biter to the end. I am disappointed with the outcome, but my heart smiled at the respect shown between the players and coaches of the two teams. (Though I am saddened to know with certainly that respect won’t extend into the stands. It sure didn’t on Facebook!)

A late birthday song and gift exchange occurred for me, my husband and Mom… all of us with birthdays only days apart.

My heart is happy tonight. Despite a painful, disappointing loss of my football game… my heart is still happy. I have so very much to be thankful for today, and thankful, I am.

My Wedding Day

There we stood in the back of church. My bridemaids were all filing up, arm-in-arm with my fiance’s groomsmen. I held hands with my dad… a hand that had helped me through so much in my life.

Things I don’t remember — learning to walk, learning to talk.

Things I remember vividly — high school, college, my first job, a broken heart.

Things that have no real description — lessons, emotions, failures, successes. And there we were, about to embark on the next chapter of my life.

“No tears,” he said, giving me a hug.

“No promises,” I said with a little laugh.

There are tears of joy. There are tears of sadness. There are simply tears that result from overwhelming love and this mixture of emotions that have no words.

THAT’S how I feel when I think about my dad. Overwhelming love, respect, thankfulness, and joy. There is no Hallmark card that can ever convey that. They come close, but never quite get there.

My family celebrated Father’s Day a couple weeks ago, when I was down in Texas. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to still acknowledge my dad ON Father’s Day. I’m a Daddy’s girl… any chance to celebrate him, I take!

I went to church tonight, and at the end of mass they had all the fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers stand up. I have to confess, I got a tear in my eye.

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. – Rev. Billy Graham

Dad and my niece in 2004.

We rarely hear, “Hi Dad!” on TV. Rarely does a speech start with, “I want to thank my Dad.” They’re that silent strength in so many people’s lives. A thankless job, but one that is so priceless… one that deserves its own day to stop and go, “Thanks, Dad!”

My dad has lead by example. With strength. With kindness. With love. He instilled in me a strong value system. He showed me how to be independent and a leader. He taught me right from wrong.

He has always believed in me, telling me I could do whatever I set my mind to do. Always doing what he could do to pave the way for me to do anything. (He is still doing that to this day!)

He is one of my biggest fans and greatest assets in life. I don’t know that I say thank you enough. I don’t know that I tell him how important he is to me. But I do know that I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if I hadn’t had the incredible father that I have.

I get a huge smile any time my mom laughs at something I do or say and goes, “You are definitely your daddy’s daughter.” Or occasionally my husband will even go, “Oh you picked that up from your dad!” And I usually laaaaaaugh. Yup. Daddy’s Girl indeed.

Wish I could be with my dad on Father’s Day, but I am definitely there in my heart. And I know I’ll get talk to him on the phone for awhile at some point during the day.

If you can’t be with your dad, pick up the phone and call him. If he’s passed away, take a moment to reflect on him. Talk to him in your heart. Or if you have someone who was/is in your life as a father figure (because, lets be honest, not all fathers are Dad’s), take a moment to thank them for being there. Dad is such a thankless but important job. THANK YOU to all the Dad’s out there… hope you have a wonderful day!

Memorial Day weekend. The weekend that is considered the “kick off to summer.” Boats hit the late. Floaties hit the pool. The grills are fired up. Everyone drags out their swim wear. And stores hold huge sales. It’s ALLLLLLLL good.

But. Why do we have Memorial Day? Its not so the girls can jump into string bikinis. It’s not so stores can sell more clothes. It’s not all about the hot dog.

No. We have Memorial Day for this:

To remember the men and women who have given all to keep us all free. To remember their sacrifice. To remember the sacrifice of their families. To say thank you to them… to all our military. All the rest of that stuff? We probably wouldn’t even HAVE that if not for our soldiers.

From http://www.usmemorialday.org:

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war).

In 1971, Congress made the day into a three-day weekend in with the National Holiday Act, stating that Memorial Day would be celebrated the last Monday of May.

Friday, I saw a report on the news about the flags being placed at Arlington National Cemetery, and I wondered where I could find something similar in Nashville. I asked my husband, and yesterday he took me to Nashville National Cemetery.

We were both deeply moved by what we found. All the flags, perfectly lined up beside the perfectly lined up headstones. The headstones seemed to stretch forever. We drove slowly, stopping periodically so I could snap photos. A few other people were doing the same. Some were there to put flowers on loved one’s graves. We were silenced. We were touched.

Headstones ranged from the 1800s to today. The ones that said things like, “Loving wife and mother” brought tears to my eyes. (Especially realizing some were MY age.) These people gave the ultimate sacrifice for all of us.

As we drove through an area of particularly old headstones, I asked my husband if he, too, thought some of these soldiers would be saddened by our world today. My husband said he felt they probably would. It made me want to do better. It made me want to earn the life they gave their own life for me and everyone around me to have. These people who helped change the course of history.

After our trip to the cemetery, we did swing out by the lake for awhile for supper. But we both had a different vibe from earlier in the day. We were more thoughtful. More reverent of the day/weekend.

If wherever you are, you have a chance to visit a soldier’s grave… please do. Take a moment to remember why we have this three day weekend. It’s not about bikinis and new shoes. It’s not about barbecue and beer. It’s about our military… the men and women who gave so much for our freedom. Let’s not take it for granted.

On a personal note… my grandpa was a WWII veteran. Tuesday would have been his 89th birthday. I was always proud to be his granddaughter… He had so many stories he would never share, and now never can again. Miss him.

God bless our soldiers… and all their loves one they’ve left behind.