Musician's Widow

I majored in journalism in college. I like to joke that I got my BS in BS. I worked in the field for over a year before I decided I didn’t like certain aspects of the job. My breaking point came about this time of year. I had to cover a car accident… where I had to stand on the side of the road, taking pictures and asking questions, while I could hear kids crying from inside the mangled car, and I could see Christmas presents stacked up in the back window. I felt like such a vulture.

I still love writing (as evidenced by writing a blog!) and I still love many aspects of journalism!

However, this week I was presented with something I hate about the job: getting the scoop at the expense of anyone and anything.

My university, Texas A&M, fired their head football coach this week. I started reading the rumblings about it as a possibility already Wednesday night. Twitter is a great place to get the “scoop” — but keeping in mind that what you’re reading is primarily rumors. Sure, I know the people to follow whose rumors tend to be spot-on. But at the end of the day, they are rumors and discussion.

I look to newspapers — the media — to report the facts as they happen.

I repeat. AS THEY HAPPEN.

Thursday, the Twitter-verse exploded after a blog post was run on the Austin American Statesman’s website, stating that “Mike Sherman will be fired as Texas A&M’s head coach either later today or early Friday morning, the American-Statesman has learned.”

WILL BE FIRED. Not has been fired. But will be fired. Information given by an anonymous source. In comments, the defense of the article came that its not anything Aggies hadn’t been discussing as rumors the day before.

In a statement from Sherman after he had been fired, he stated, “It was disappointing to me because my family found out before I did, because it was released (through a leak in the media) before I was told. I think we’re better than that.”

I can easily point fingers at the anonymous source as being out of line leaking the information to the media. I hope this source is found out and reprimanded, because this move makes the university look horrible.

But in the same breath, getting the scoop and running it in the media offended Sherman. And, forgive me, but to me this goes against the Journalism Code of Ethics. Specifically to Minimize Harm. Ethical journalists treat sources, subjects and colleagues as human beings deserving of respect. Running an article that someone is going to be fired before they’ve actually been fired leaves me sick to my stomach. Can you imagine opening the newspaper and reading that you’re going to be fired. Or that your spouse is about to lose their job?? Can you imagine the punch in the gut?

It leaves me angry and sickened!

Past that… what if last minute they decided to hold off on the firing. Either not do it, or at the very least wait until after the bowl game. Suddenly you’ve run a misleading piece, done harm, and you’re left with egg all over your face. It’s just irresponsible.

Yes, this is a blog report, not an “official article.” But its run on the Austin American Statesman website. The post reads as an article. Its my opinion, it should be held to the same code of ethics as any other piece run on that newspaper site.

I have my BS in Journalism. The degree hangs on my office wall. It’s signed by Robert Gates… you know him. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates. Yup… he handed me my diploma. Told us if we looked to see if it was REALLY in our tubes at graduation they would disappear… CIA kinda stuff. You probably had to be there to find that funny.

I did good in my J-School classes. I’d have to pull my records now, but I think I pulled a 3.5 or 3.8 in them. Either way, I did good. I just loved the style of writing. I had gotten good at it back in high school, and college further perfected it. I think my favorite exercise was writing my own obituary. Morbid, perhaps, but it was fun to imagine where I wanted to go and what I wanted to be before I die.

I took a year “off” before I pursued a job in journalism. I got offered two jobs, opting for the one closer to home. A weekly newspaper… perfect for getting my feet wet. I was writing, taking pictures, editing and even a little designing. I had my own column (award winning!) which was my favorite thing ever.

I was there for about a year and a half. I hate to say it, but I just got burnt out. Perhaps it was the pace of the small town, or perhaps I was just doing too many things to really settle into one as my niche. No matter what, I was ready to move on and take the next step. Whatever that may be.

I can’t remember if I’d already resigned my position, or if I was about to, when I was sent to cover a car accident. Just before Christmas, I pulled up to the scene and saw… well. It was bad. I could hear a child crying from the crumpled, twisted car. And what did I have to do?

I had to take pictures of the scene. I had to try to get information. I watched as a life fight helicopter landed nearby. I felt like a vulture. I called my soon-to-be-fiance-but-I-didn’t-know-that-then, practically having a meltdown. Christmas. A child. Family member hurt. Life flight. Taking pictures. I felt dirty. I felt sick to my stomach. I realized that moment, my “career” as a journalist either wasn’t meant to be, or I would at the very least have to find a different route.

Since that day, I’ve had one other job opportunity at a newspaper here in Middle Tennessee. If I recall, it was a very similar position to the one I had before. I think I was the front runner based on my qualifications, to be honest. Heck, I didn’t even apply… they called ME based on my resume that was posted out on a journalism jobs site.

But in the interview, it just didn’t feel right. At this point, I can’t even remember if I was actually offered the job, but I know I never went to work there. And the state of the journalism industry today, I sometimes think that was just as well. Chances are, I would have been let go within the year — last in, first out sort of thing — as newspapers struggle to stay afloat.

All this said… I do still love the essence of journalism. I’ve been ashamed of my industry at times, but I still love being in the know and decimating whatever information I may have or learn. If I let myself, I can become a news junkie with ease. Twitter has been a wonderful resource for me to get my “newsie fix.”

And my blog… Well, this blog has become what my column was back in the day. The approach I took in that column is the same approach I take to every blog post. I won an award for my column, and I hope some day, maybe, my blog will receive recognition as well. I don’t write for the recognition, though. I write for the deep love and passion I have for it. It’s a personal satisfaction and, I like to think, natural talent for it.

If I were offered a job in the journalism field today… I’d probably take it. I’m not actively going to pursue it, but if the right offer came to me, chances are I’d take it. Because it IS still in my blood.

However, the chances of that are pretty slim these days, so I get my “fix” via Twitter and my blog. And that works for me. I’m not settling… I am constantly striving to find another way to make it better. To improve on my skills and trade. Because at the end of the day, even though I don’t work at a newspaper or TV station, I never left Journalism.

Never have. Never will.