Tag Archives: life well lived

Life Well Lived: Dealing with disappointment

Its time for another Life Well Lived Getting Happy panel!

This week’s question is: How do you deal with disappointment, and what lessons do you have to share from those experiences?

Any time I think of the phrase, “Life’s not fair,” I hear the voice of Scar from Disney’s The Lion King in my head. “Life’s not fair, is it? You see, I… well, I shall never be king. And you… shall never see the light of another day.”

I also, though, think of my first, really big lesson in disappointment I had to deal with in my life.

Ever since I was in Kindergarten, I wanted to be “a flag girl.” I spent years itching to be in high school where I would twirl the flags in the band. I joined band in the first place primarily because of my dream to be a flag girl.

Finally, the end of freshman year came and it was my chance to try out for the squad. Turns out, I was a natural at it! I could do the routine in my sleep. I spent hours practicing, perfecting. My whole world revolved around this!

Tryouts came and I crashed and burned… hard. I mean, not just a little, “Oops.” But a whole huge, “Can I do that again, because I really, really stunk.”

Needless to say, I did NOT make the squad. I was crushed. Absolutely crushed. There was no life outside of not making flags! I literally had spent hours lamenting to my Mom, “I don’t know what I’d do if I don’t make it!” And there I was, standing there with my head hung low, facing my fear of going another year not in the flag corp.

Y’know what? Life did not end that day. I cried my tears. I faced another year playing flute instead of twirling a flag. And I came in the next year with knowledge that life didn’t end if I didn’t make the squad. (And as a result, I not only made the squad, I was one of the highest ranked girls — and I tried out with a 101º fever!!)

Today, I deal with disappointment with a knowledge that the sun will rise tomorrow with  more opportunities ahead. I might shed a few tears. I might be quite grumpy to those closest to me. But I also know I’ll “get over it” and I’ll do so with another life lesson learned. I strive not to let the good get lost in the bad. Every disappointment. Every mistake. Every moment of sadness. It all has a silver lining of a lesson to be learned; a new strength to be found.

I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes what is perceived as “no” is really just “not right now.” (Or in some cases, it means, “Stop and notice this other path you could be taking.”) Don’t let disappointment make you miss an opportunity down the line.

What are your thoughts? Join me here and over on the main post at BlogHer.com… and don’t forget to enter the current Life Well Lived Sweepstakes!

Life Well Lived: Resources for increasing and sustaining happiness

Its time for another Life Well Lived Getting Happy panel!

Happy This week’s question is: What are your favorite resources for increasing and sustaining happiness?

For once, the LWL question made me stumble a bit.

My knee-jerk answer is to list the things that never fail to make me happy. Faith. Family. Friends. A great conversation. Photography. Writing. Music. My cats. Eating. A good cup of coffee. Reading. Sleeping. Great fitting blue jeans. Anything Texas A&M University. Sunshine. Rain. Etc.

I could list off things that make me happy for hours on end. I’m a naturally happy person in general, and its so often the little things that make me happy. But that is where this trips me up… these things make me happy, sure. But these things can also sometimes frustrate me.  Then it hit me…

My favorite resource for happiness is myself.

A story to illustrate my point: Just last weekend, when I went to pick my husband up from the bus, I walked out the door making a conscious decision to be in a good mood when I got there.

I almost always end up picking him up after only getting 3 hours of sleep, and 9 times out of 10 I deal with a fellow driver that leaves my blood boiling. (And of course, due to lack of sleep, my already short fuse with drivers who don’t drive defensively is a lot a shorter than normal.) My husband is just used to me picking him up in a terrible mood. It’s almost a running joke that he wonders how ticked off I’ll be when I pick him up. But that day I went, “I am happy he is home. He needs to see THAT, not a ticked off wife mad at the world.”

You know what happened? I picked my husband up with a smile that was genuine and I caught him off guard. I made the conscious decision to be happy. I can’t help the fact that I don’t get enough sleep before I pick him up. I can’t help that other drivers just don’t pay attention to what is going on around them. But I CAN help how I respond. THAT is one thing I CAN control.

It’s not about having a cup of coffee. It’s not about if the sun is shining or not. It’s about my approach to life — to any given situation or moment in time. I am my own favorite resource for happiness.

What about you? What is your favorite resource for creating and increasing happiness?

Join me here and and in the comments over at the Main Post on BlogHer.com.