Elephant in the room

THIS POST on another blog encouraged me to write this blog. I’m very serious. Go read that before continuing on here. I’ll wait.

Here’s the big elephant in the room: I have debts that I can’t pay. I have debts I’ve not been able to pay in awhile. I have debts that friends and family are starting to get calls about. And for this fact, I am deeply sorry. I never in a million years thought it would go this far.

Its not worth getting into too many details. Its not worth explaining it outside of the fact that we, like so many others, are victims of circumstance. I could curse any number of events for being where we are today. But at the end of it all, neither myself nor my husband are “bad people.” It just is what it is.

We’re working on it.

I’ve prioritized my bills. And as such, I am secure in keeping a roof over our heads, a vehicle to drive, utility bills paid and food on the table. Those are definite every month. What is left over is spread out as best I can over my other debts and various sundry. The funny thing is, up to about six months ago, I’d never missed a payment to anyone. It may have been late, but they always got a payment.  But today…

I’m simply doing the best I can.

You see me post in here a lot about my goals of making it working from home. My biggest push IS the want to eventually be able to work from home while raising my kids. We need to get secure in that as just the two of us before we bring in another mouth to feed. The other side of the coin is simply the fact that I HAVE looked at employment elsewhere. I know countless people who have similar degrees and experience as I do who have looked for employment. Its just not out there. In fact just yesterday I heard about another person here in my field that was “downsized.”

Truth be told, I feel very confident about where I am headed these days. But I do struggle sometimes to keep that confidence level up when the phone rings and its a creditor or a friend calling because they got a call from someone looking for me. My stomach clinches, and I feel a migraine start to try to come over me. Neither of these things are conducive to rectifying the situation. The more time and energy I spend looking at this issue, worrying over this issue, the less time and energy I have to actively work towards fixing it.

All I can do is the best I can do.

And within that? I will beat this and be better off down the line. I will.

Addendum: This was a scary post to write. I just felt the need to be honest about it all. Really, in the grand scheme of things, we’re doing okay! Like I said, we have prioritized our bills and thus the most important ones always get paid. Its something so many aren’t able to do right now, and we’re grateful for what we have. We’re only looking at “other” debts that have fallen behind, and we are actively working to correct it. Every day it is our focus. But I needed to get it off my chest and be honest about why sometimes I say “no” to things, or why I may in passing mention a lack of fundage.

4 thoughts on “Elephant in the room”

  1. More and more families are being hurt by this economy. One bad event, one catastrophic illness, any one of us could be in a bad financial situation.

    I hope circumstances improve for you soon.

    1. Exactly! Its nothing that anyone did wrong. As the saying goes, “Sh** happens.” I generally don’t let it get me down, but sometimes it sneaks up and throws me. I’m working hard to make things improve, and keeping my eye on the prize! Thank you so much.

  2. Yes, it was hard to write. But it is just another testimonial to your writing and communication skills that you can hang your hat on. One day at a time for us all!!

  3. I don’t have much to say, except please pass on any and all budget tips. :) Yes, indeed, S*%T happens!

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