School dress codes

I just saw a news article that had me fired up. My husband just stared at me, perhaps with a little fear over how mad it made me.

The article was about a young boy who has hair that does not conform to his school’s dress code, and as such has been placed in detention until he gets a hair cut. His mother is threatening a lawsuit because they are causing him mental harm my keeping him apart from his classmates. [article]

My response: GET A HAIR CUT!

I got just as fired up at the beginning of the school year, when a group of students decided they would all wear flip-flops to school on the first day of school to protest the fact that their dress code said flip flops were not allowed. [article on the dress code]

Dress codes exist for a reason: for the well being of the students. There is a concern for their safety, but also for their ability to focus on their school work. As an adult, I know how I dress not only affects my ability to focus on my job, but it also affects how others react to me. But that is something school-age kids have rarely figured out.

When I was in high school, we had a stringent dress code. The length of shorts, skirts and tops were watched closely. No males had facial hair, nor did their hair get long enough to be below their shirt collars. There were no open toed shoes, nor any shoes without backs.

We might have grumbled about it… I know I did, because my height made finding shorts and skirts long enough impossible and, as such, I lived in jeans every day… but in the end, we all followed the rules. Oh sure, we had those who tried to buck the system, but there was never any big drama within that that I can recall.

We knew that high school was more than just book studies; it was getting us ready for “the real world” where jobs have dress codes and you’re expected to confirm to those rules. You “found yourself” or “expressed your individuality” in ways within those rules. You also knew you would be awarded the freedom to dress as you wished when/if you attended college.

Our dress code was less strict than it was for our older siblings and our parents. I know many dress codes today aren’t as strict as ours was. Some schools have since gone on to impose a school uniform to avoid the dress code issue completely.

You don’t have to agree with a dress code, but you do have to follow it. As I already said, it does get you ready for the rules you’ll follow in the workforce. Plus, you’ll get to have your way when you get out of school. When you look at the span of an average life, your junior high and high school years are just a small portion of that life.

It can be argued that by fighting a dress code, you’re learning to stand up for yourself. You are learning to be an individual. But it can also be argued that sometimes you need the lesson that its not so bad to follow the rules.

I wonder sometimes if we haven’t bent the rules so much that they no longer are respected; if that’s not why many of our youth have a lack of respect in general. Have we not promoted individuality and “bucking the system” to the point that many believe rules don’t apply to them?

No matter where you are in your life, there are rules/laws to follow. Isn’t it easier to learn that when the consequence is detention and not life in prison?

(Note: I know this can open a whole can of worms, which makes me hesitant to post this. But let it be known that in general, I prefer a hands-off approach. Guide through respect and solid examples, less by hard-rules. But I also believe there are rules in place for a reason, and those rules should be followed.)

8 thoughts on “School dress codes”

  1. I agree. It would be so much easier to get a hair cut. This parent is teaching the child that rules don’t apply to him. “Throw a fit – throw in some law suit threats – and get your way” No wonder the world is full of irresponsible people.

    1. Right!!! We’ve become a lawsuit-happy society instead of admitting that either we made a mistake or that maybe we just should follow the rules. You reach a point (in my opinion) as a parent when you have to stand up TO your child, just as you reach a point when you stand up FOR your child. You have to weigh each situation carefully… and this is one where I strongly feel like a lesson can be learned about following the rules as opposed to finding a way to bend the rules.

  2. The high school my kids attended has a rather lengthy written dress code, but I’m not sure how well it’s enforced, judging on how some of these kids are dressed at school and at school functions. I would have been a huge proponent of school uniforms, but that never was a possibility.

    You’re right, part of what kids need to learn in school is that rules need to be followed. Every job I’ve had also had a dress code and a code of conduct. Violations could mean losing your job.

    1. I remember when I was in high school, the only time the dress code was broken was on Fridays before a football game. The cheerleaders, flags and twirlers all wore their uniforms all day. Any time outside of that, the dress code was strictly enforced. But I know some schools aren’t so strict, or they are more worried about a case-by-case basis. (As in, if the kid is “good” they can slide a bit…)

      I think I was a senior in high school when the first few public schools in my area started talking about a uniform. If I remember correctly, I wasn’t opposed to it in theory. I just opposed it because I figured there was no way I’d ever find pants long enough. LOL! But I’ve since then come to understand a little better how the uniforms work, and I realize that wouldn’t be as big of an issue as my 17-year-old-self obsessed.

      I really think, though, in the end that high school is such a wonderful base to teach youth about the real world. I lament the lack of home economics or other real-world classes, but at least a dress code teaches youth there is a way to dress for your “job” (as school IS a job!) and that there are consequences for not following the rules set before you. At least in school you either get detention or sent home to change… in a job, like you said, you lose your job. You lose wages… wages that put food on the table and a roof over your head.

  3. I agree with Missy, and couldn’t have said it better myself. The parents are to blame here, not the school or the dress code.

  4. I’ve seen some of the dress code clothes though… the skirts barely touch the knee when standing!

    Can we bring back poodle skirt styles? They are soooo cute… okay so, maybe without the applique!

    And make those girls wear jeans that come all the way UP to the waist, please!

    I am already missing the 80’s wear the in thing was the long shirts that covered your bum!

    1. haha! I love Poodle Skirts! I had two when I was in Elementary school, one without the poodle on it. I wore it until I just couldnt fit any more. I’ve always wanted another one since then.

      I agree with the waist on jeans! I was glad when longer shirts came back. Not as long as the 80s, but no more crop tops! Please!

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