Category Archives: about-me

Don’t look back? Ehhh…

It’s often said to not look back. The future is ahead, not behind you. You can’t move forward if you obsess over the past. Etc. Etc.

For me? For me, looking back often propels me even better towards the future. Which is what this last week somehow ended up being all about. Even though it wasn’t the plan going into it.

Somewhere over Texas
Somewhere over Texas

I’m currently in my way back to Nashville after a, frankly, amazing week in Texas. I had traveled with the goal of seeing my neice graduate 8th grade, checking in on family affected by the storms, see my husband play a show in Oklahoma, and visit The Association of Former Students at Texas A&M. If I got some relaxation in there, awesome. I was definitely at, “I need a vacation” point simply due to recent financial stress.

I made it to my niece’s graduating. I mused over how it was 20 years (probably to the day) that I myself graduated 8th grade. One of my classmates is junior high principal, which was cool to see but also admittedly a little weird. (I am not old enough for that, am I!?)

Go Jeni!
Go Jeni!

How far my town has come since my 8th grade graduation! New schools. State championships. Classmates now in the roll of teachers. Sometimes I marvel at it all.

Sometimes it’s good to look back and see progress as its come along.

I then traveled the four hours to see my husband play in Oklahoma. Like, old times, it was me and my parents, off to see this guy with crazy talent, and a heart of gold… Who stole mine a long time ago.

I’m pretty sure when a girl is willing to travel over 4 hours to see you for just a few hours of your time, she finds you pretty special. And if her parents tag along, they approve.

I'm his biggest fan.
I’m his biggest fan.

The artist has changed (a few times) since the last time I saw him play in Oklahoma. This was a different casino. And of course we are married now. I’m also no longer dazzled by the “famous” side of the life. If anything I’m cynical about it all. But I still love going to see my husband do his thing, and it’s more about supporting him than anything else.

Of all of this, however, perhaps the most powerful look back to go forward came when I visited Aggieland on Monday.

I know to some it may sound crazy, but I NEED to visit College Station periodically. Graduating from Texas A&M is one of my greatest accomplishments in life. Those years shaped me more than sometimes even I realize.

Once an Aggie, always an Aggie.

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But it’s going to the Association that meant the most. To discover people who I so greatly respect also respect me means so much. I left my meetings that day feeling like I did when I walked across that stage with my diploma:

I can do anything I set my mind to. I have been set up for success. I simply need to reach out and take it.

The trip ended with a visit to the Bonfire Memorial. I’ve gone a couple times before, but it never fails to quiet my soul all over again. As I read about each of the 12 amazing souls lost 15 years ago, I hear them whispering words of encouragement. You can do anything. Live your life to its fullest. Be not afraid.
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So yes, I did look back for awhile, and all it did was push me towards my future. My seat back and tray table are up and locked, ready for landing. Let’s do this.

Sometimes I struggle

Its time for #fridayintroductions brought weekly by @thetinytwig & @jessaconnolly … A chance to reintroduce yourself to your followers and maybe make some new friends! I’m Denise… I live just outside of Nashville, TN with my musician husband and our two cats. I am born and raised Texan, and am a proud member of the Fightin’ Texas Aggie c/o 2003.

Being married to a touring musician is never boring, and getting through the crazy life we live requires a sense of humor and a LOT of Faith. And lately, my faith is being tested. Give it to God and let go is hard sometimes, but its always rewarding and comforting, too.

Today’s question is what is my favorite flower… I am a serious sucker for a dark red rose, but in the spring its easily the beautiful Texas Bluebonnet!

A photo posted by Denise (@niseag03) on

I don’t write often anymore in this blog about the “musician’s life,” saving it instead for posts to Road Widows. But since I’ve actually, for the first time in YEARS, gone well over a week without posting, I thought perhaps now would be a good time to delve into a post about the “musician’s life.”

I’ve been missing mostly because my heart hasn’t been in blogging lately. (Though my photography is doing pretty well, and I’ll have some photo posts coming up soon.)  Primarily because I’ve had a really hard time being my positive self. I’ve found myself, at heart, feeling very negative.

And I am very embarrassed to say its had to do a LOT with money.  The past year was a very fruitful one for us, but I knew the whole time we’d reach a wall and be back into the paycheck-to-paycheck life. Its actually a very blunt and harsh reality of the “musician life.” Its feast or famine. Last year the famine time was short, and as an added bonus I was bartending regularly. This year? That slack is gone, and the famine time is extra scary.

God somehow always provides. And I’m usually very good about the whole, “Everything happens for a reason and it all works out in the end.” way of life. “Give it to God,” its a great mantra for the “musician life.”

But as I said in my #FridayIntroductions this week, I’ve struggled with that lately. And with that struggle, I find myself just shutting down. I find myself without motivation to work and correct where we are right now.

Friday night, my husband played a gig on Broadway in downtown Nashville. He hasn’t played Broadway in, literally, years.  Perhaps I should have looked at the gig as one of God’s little whispers of, “I got this…” but at the time it just felt so strange.  (It didn’t help that I had to deal with a negative an hateful Longhorn fan on the street that just left me even MORE out of sorts for a long time. Sigh.)

Then after my husband’s gig, we went out to see friends play. And it was then and there that I got the attitude adjustment I needed. We were surrounded by so many friends who embraced us and unknowingly gave me the lift I needed. All these people face the same frustrations and same struggles that we do. The exact same ones. All these friends live this “musician life” with optimism and positivity that I needed an injection of in that moment.

We WILL land on our feet. I am thankful to all who support us in numerous and priceless ways. We all lean on each other, and we all get through it together. Isn’t that the way it is supposed to be?

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