Category Archives: relationship thoughts

perks, relationship thoughts, road-stories, travel

Would never do otherwise

There is one really big perk to having a husband that is a traveling musician: you DO get to do things you’d never do otherwise.

For example, two years ago I had the opportunity (which I took!) to go to Hawaii over the 4th of July holiday. Would we have gone otherwise? It’s possible, but also fairly doubtful. Honestly, I’d have never in a millions years thought I’d go there. Growing up, I never even listed Hawaii as a place I wanted to visit, simply because I knew it would never happen…

And then… it did. So beautiful! A wonderful trip! I’d love to go again some day, and who knows… we might. But, if we don’t, it’s okay, too. It’s a memory I will never, ever forget.


I also went to Las Vegas to see my husband do a show, and then just countless venues around Texas and, now, various locations close to Nashville. It’s a nice “perk” to the life. We spend so much time apart while he is on the road, but we do get advantages of getting to go and do things we’d never do otherwise. Occasionally, the random show sponsor will provide band members with gifts, or we’ll end up with the random CD of new music. It doesn’t make up for the time spent apart, per se. But, its a nice little bonus of sorts.

This last weekend, when everything went haywire due to a last-minute show being added, we again landed on things coming out better. Plus, we got to once again do something we’d otherwise have never done.

I drove up to Indianapolis, IN, for their show. Now, being from Texas, its still very strange to me to be able to drive to another state — much less through a whole state into yet another one! — for a concert. The 5 hour drive wasn’t bad at all. It was actually a very pleasant and beautiful drive.

The show was great, and we had friends there who we got to have fun with after the show. Due to checking in to our hotel so late, we ended up actually having our room through Monday! We discussed it and decided to stay an extra day.


I would have never known that Indianapolis was such a fascinating and beautiful city! We got to explore downtown, and I just could not get over how much there was to see. I sent my parents a cell phone photo of the skyline, and they too were amazed we were where we were… doing what we were doing. Heck, we discovered we enjoyed the city so much, we want to go back when it is warm so we can explore on foot! (It was SO cold and we had not packed for it, thinking we were going straight back home on Sunday.)

I plan to travel South soon to another show, and I will get the chance to explore some Southern history… whereas in Indiana there were such old buildings from a more Northern perspective. (Duh, right?) I have my fingers crossed my husband will soon get to fulfill one of his life-long dreams of played an awards show, and that I’ll get to come along to see that. I spoke with one of the crew’s wife and she plans to go with them on an upcoming California trip.

California would be so wonderful to get to come out to see them. I have friends there that I am itching to see again. However, funds will keep me grounded for this run. But, perhaps some day! You never know. All things are possible…

Coming from a girl who grew up in a small town, that has been quite the lesson learned. Often small town minds don’t see beyond their city limits. But there is a whole world out there to explore. And so many things that seem impossible, ARE possible. And I am forever grateful to the things I have gotten to experience…

Like I said… its difficult to be “a musician’s widow,” and its not a “job” many are cut out to handle. But, if you’re willing to put the faith, trust and belief in your marriage out there… it does come with its perks: both tangible and intangible.

relationship thoughts

Of trust

A key element of the relationship between a musician and their significant other is TRUST. This applies to all careers — military the largest example — in which couples are separated for long periods of time.

Last night, when my husband and I talked after his show, he told me about a couple he met after the show at the bar. They’ve been married less than a month and as a fellow newlywed, my husband took an even greater interest in striking up a conversation with them.

The woman, he said, asked my husband if it was hard for me to let him go out on the road so far from home. He said that, no, its easy. We’ve just got that something special that allows it to happen without (much) consequence.

Now, I interrupt the story briefly to say I’d never categorize it as “easy” but its certainly not “hard” either. That is my little disclaimer in this tale.

My husband went on to tell me that the woman said she could never do it, because, after all, men will be men. My husband was alarmed by that accusation and told her simply that he disagreed. That when you find that right person, infidelity is not an issue. He’d never in a million years cheat on me, and he knows I am the same way. We have that strong level of trust between us, because we KNOW.

It actually left him and I very sad to see a couple JUST married carrying doubt in one another. It made us just more secure in how solid we are… the high level of trust we do hold in one another. Especially considering how often we are apart.

There is a song by Alabama that asks why the girls fall in love with the boys in the band. I am not stupid. There ARE women out there who are looking for a fast hook-up with one of the boys in the band. But just because there are women out there like that does not mean my husband will take the bait. Because I know with all of my being he wouldn’t, and there is great strength and comfort in that fact.