Tag Archives: humor

five on friday

Five on Friday: Everything I know about golf

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1. Golf terminology includes things like birdie, eagle, bogey, divot, putt, sand trap, FOUR!, bunker, par, pin, handicap, caddie, tee, mulligan… and I have no clue what most of them mean. I just know golfers use those terms and they’re all important. Especially “FOUR!” That’s a big one right there.

2. The lowest score wins. I got that part figured out mostly from playing putt-putt golf and my occasional glances at the TV when golf is on… I’ve tried to play golf on my husband’s PS2, but I’m as bad at it as I am any racing game. I think I need to stick to Baldur’s Gate Dark Alliance, which I haven’t played in a long time but really enjoyed.

3. Paying for a round of golf for you and your friends is more expensive than a round of whisky for you and your friends. However, you get to enjoy the golf a lot longer than the whisky, and I guess if you added it up by the cup its actually cheaper. And I suppose both are paying for rounds of shots (ha!), so… I don’t really know where I am going with this here. Moving on…

4.  There are no referees. Except your friends. Who probably turn into referees after a few holes and a few drinks. So maybe there are referees. Kinda.

5. They make great fundraisers, and I am participating in my first ever charity golf tournament today. No, I’m not playing, but I am making sure the bars are ready to go for those who ARE playing.  All proceeds go to CASA of Nashville, which helps abused and neglected children find safe, permanent homes. Through no fault of their own, nearly 2,000 children annually come to the attention of Nashville’s court system.  The Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) program provides volunteers to speak for the children’s best interests in court. SO happy to be a part of such a wonderful event.

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*No I am not as dumb as I sound here. I’m just having a little fun. :)

five on friday, music

Five on Friday: Song lyrics that make me facepalm

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Nothing deep to be found here this week. In fact, the lack of depth is precisely why these song lyrics make me change the radio station. This is full of snark and should be taken with a healthy dose of humor.

My apologies in advance if I poke fun at a song you love. That’s fine if you love it! Doesn’t mean I have to…

1. “Baby you a song, you make me wanna roll my windows down… and cruise.” I’m sorry. I vehemently hate this song. Even more when someone sings it at the bar, and I find myself bopping along to it. Its an ear worm on top of being stupid. Le sigh.

2. “I said, ‘Climb on up, but honey watch the cup that I’m spittin’ my dip inside…'” What part of singing about your dip cup is okay!? Look, I have to pick those damn things up at the bar every night. Leave ’em off the radio. Please.

3. “Girl you make my speakers go boom boom.” Really? Just. Really?

4. “Chew tobacco, chew tobacco, chew tobacco, spit.” I can’t. I just can’t. This song really didn’t have many redeeming qualities, but when that line came up it just made them all null and void. Cheese and rice, make it stop!

5. “Rock me mama, like a wagon wheel.” Okay, I liked this song the first fifty times I heard it. And I totally respect the people that still like it. But work downtown Nashville and try to like the song any more. And you can’t. It’s like an unwritten law to hate it if you work in any of the honky tonks. And its an easy law to follow, because tourists scream, “WAGON WHEEL” like you used to hear, “FREEBIRD!” just a few years ago. You kinda want to throw an empty beer bottle at the person requesting it. Some times you want to throw a full beer. But I digress. Bob, I can think of a lot of ways I’d like to be rocked, but “like a wagon wheel” is not one of them. :)

 

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