Tag Archives: musings

Let’s just be friends

Almost 10 years ago, I moved to Nashville and quickly fell in love with the city. I loved everything about it!

Nashville skyline

It amazed me, how it was a city, but it had a small town feel. I could go almost anywhere, and chances I’d run into someone I knew was strong. It ceased to amaze me how I’d run into friends at random locations, and a five minute errand would turn into an hour long visit. I never worried about going anywhere alone, because someone would always make sure I got to my truck safe. It was just that kind of place: we all look out for each other.

The history of the city enthralled me. I’d listen to tales of the past with a fascinated gleam in my eyes. I’d dig through archives online or at the library, wanting to know everything. The good, the bad, the changes. It captured a part of my soul.

Important to me was the fact that it was the home and heart of country music. I remember clearly someone walking up to me when I worked at the Dog House to ask, “Where on earth can I find anything EXCEPT country music?” and I gave them a blank stare. Not only was I thrown by the question, I legitimately didn’t have an answer.

07/47: Sunset over Nashville

I would actually get a flutter in my stomach when the skyline would appear in front of me, as I came into downtown. This was MY city, and I loved it.

But I guess as many relationships happen, both sides change. Nashville today is not the Nashville I fell in love with. Establishments that were so secure are now gone. High rises have started changing that skyline I love(d). Cranes liter the spaces in between. History is being torn down (literally) in the name of progress.

Tearing it down to build something new

Progress is so important to a city surviving. I know this, and I acknowledge it. I even respect it. I just wish progress could do more to respect the past. I visited Louisville this summer, and I felt that old pitter-patter in my heart of the past speaking… Old buildings revitalized lined the streets. I looked at them with awe. I looked at them with sadness… wishing Nashville had followed suit in places, instead of opting for new and shiny.

Its really hard to find country music in Nashville today. Drive down Broadway, where 10 years ago you heard country music, you now here rock. Or the new version of country that is pretty much 90s pop. I find myself asking vendors, “Where can I hear country music?” much like those rock fans asked me for anything except country years ago.

I can’t go downtown and be guaranteed to know anyone any more. Because many I know don’t go there anymore either. It’s all tourists and bachelorette parties.

Broadway

But here is where I acknowledge I’ve changed, too. The thought of going downtown doesn’t excite me any more… it just makes me tired. I prefer an evening at a restaurant or bar with friends visiting instead of the crush and adrenaline of bar hopping. Shots of Fireball or Crown have been replaced by sipping craft beer.

I still get an excited feeling when I see the skyline, and I do still love Nashville… just not as much as I once did. If this were a relationship, I’d ask it if we can just be friends.

Don’t take this as my letter to the world that I’m leaving Nashville and Tennessee. No, this is where my husband and I have made our home, and I do still love being here. I have wonderful friends, and I love our home. I’m branching out in other areas, and I’ve grown SO MUCH in the last 10 years. Like I said, Nashville isn’t the only one in this relationship that’s changed. I have, too.

So who knows what the next 10 years will bring for me as well as for Nashville. The only thing guaranteed is change… and that’s just life.

Sunglass sittin'

Christmas memories

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This time next week, it’ll all be over. The gifts exchanged…carols sung… Families going separate ways. Another Christmas in the books.

As we barrel down the interstate to spend the holiday with family, I am filled with conflicting emotions. I’ve spent the last week focused on to do lists and getting everything done before we left. House and cats covered (so no bad guys go case my house… It’s under surveillance and you’ll be caught!). Photo jobs done and completed. Christmas parties and shopping. Paying bills. Etc. The spirit of the season gets lost in responsibilities.

I miss the wonder of the season I had as a child. The anticipation of Santa. “Midnight” mass where I’d sing in the choir, and all us kids would all whisper about what gifts we already received. Peace on Earth seemed to truly happen for that one night a year. New dresses and shiny shoes. Dressing up that night was as exciting as Santa’s approach… Would we get home before he got to Texas??

I still remember like yesterday seeing a shooting star just after midnight on our way home from church a few yeas ago, and I remember closing my eyes making a wish… An extra special Christmas wish.

My grandparents and cousins are Christmas... late 1980s.
My grandparents and cousins are Christmas… late 1980s.

I miss seeing my extended family every Christmas. Photos were taken; carols were sung. (The biggest laughs coming from the “12 Days of Christmas.”) Gifts exchanged and opened in order of age — youngest to oldest. Books and horse things were my main loves. My brother the occasional remote control car.

Christmas in Texas typically was warm enough to go outside and play after dinner. New bikes could be tried out immediately, and I know a few toys were broken within hours of being opened.

However, as years have passed schedules and lives have changed. Christmas together isn’t necessarily guaranteed as it once was. The season no longer seems to last long enough… It passes in a blur and we are left wondering what happened. We worry more about paying bills than we worry about getting enough hugs. And it’s in that fact that I feel a tinge of sadness going into Christmas. But it’s also spurring me to strive to enjoy my Christmas holiday. To move a little slower. To disconnect from the web more. Worry less. Laugh more. Wear my Santa hat and dare anyone to stare. It’s Christmas… And a time to make more memories to be cherished for years to come.

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