Tag Archives: good-bye

A fresh start

Last week, I spent a day cleaning out a couple closets in my office. As I dug through boxes of just stuff, I found stacks of journals and diaries I wrote in through the years. I was reminded quickly how much I love to write… which is something I’ve just not been doing much of lately.

I wrote Musician’s Widow for 10 years. And it was what I needed it to be at that time. But over the last couple of years, I grew to feel confined by it. I started the blog with the original intention of it being about life married to a musician, with posts having a focus on that side of my life.

I never really followed that focus, but it was always in the back of my mind.

Since I started this blog, however, life has expanded for me. I’ve delved into so many different directions professionally, and personally I’ve just found myself laughing at the beautifully ridiculous nature of life. As such I no have come to longer really see the blog as the creative outlet I need.

As I stopped cleaning to read my words written at such a young age (some going back as far as fifth grade, others right in the middle of high school), I loved the freedom a journal gave me. No topic was off limits… I wrote for myself more than for an audience.

I wanted that again. So as often happens when I clean out closets, I found myself thinking clearer than I have in awhile. I remembered an old domain name I’d purchased years ago, but flat out never did anything with it. And it just felt right… Mattox Live was born.

That blog will be more like a journal, where no topic is off limit. I will be exploring where this blog goes right along with any readers I have.

What about Musician’s Widow? Well, its not going away any time soon. There’s some wonderful posts over here that I am so proud of having written! I can’t just say good bye to them or it. I’ll decide in time what happens with it… for right now it will probably stand more as an archive of the first 10 years of my life married to a musician. But I may still update here and there… but in the in between time…

Please check out and follow Mattox Live.


I still get sad…

With my husband as a musician, I’m “used to” saying good bye for long periods of time. (Hence, “Musician’s Widow” of course.) I only “like” it because it means income into the household. But good-byes are never what you’d call fun.

Right now, it was my turn to “go on the road for work” and I said good-bye to my husband for a few weeks.

Confession: I still get sad saying good-bye, even if I’m “used to it.”

I woke up in a funk this morning of good-bye. I kept telling myself to not ruin our last few hours by moping, but it was HARD. My logical side said it had to be, but my emotional side wanted to make him stay with me a few more days. (He drove me to Texas for work, and he was leaving to go back home to Nashville while I stayed behind.)  Cancel gigs. Ignore the winter weather warnings. Stay!

But, no, he had to go. So I hugged and kissed him and waved as he drove away.

We’ll both get in an old rhythm that we get into when we’re apart. Phone calls. Chat session on AIM. Etc. We’re good at this, and at the end of the day it’s not REALLY that big of a deal. It’s our life and “how we roll.” We will both be so busy during this time that the days will fly by for us. It’s all good.

I’m fine now. Miss him like crazy, of course, but I’m doing fine.  But… I do still get sad to say good-bye.