Tag Archives: life

Let’s just be friends

Almost 10 years ago, I moved to Nashville and quickly fell in love with the city. I loved everything about it!

Nashville skyline

It amazed me, how it was a city, but it had a small town feel. I could go almost anywhere, and chances I’d run into someone I knew was strong. It ceased to amaze me how I’d run into friends at random locations, and a five minute errand would turn into an hour long visit. I never worried about going anywhere alone, because someone would always make sure I got to my truck safe. It was just that kind of place: we all look out for each other.

The history of the city enthralled me. I’d listen to tales of the past with a fascinated gleam in my eyes. I’d dig through archives online or at the library, wanting to know everything. The good, the bad, the changes. It captured a part of my soul.

Important to me was the fact that it was the home and heart of country music. I remember clearly someone walking up to me when I worked at the Dog House to ask, “Where on earth can I find anything EXCEPT country music?” and I gave them a blank stare. Not only was I thrown by the question, I legitimately didn’t have an answer.

07/47: Sunset over Nashville

I would actually get a flutter in my stomach when the skyline would appear in front of me, as I came into downtown. This was MY city, and I loved it.

But I guess as many relationships happen, both sides change. Nashville today is not the Nashville I fell in love with. Establishments that were so secure are now gone. High rises have started changing that skyline I love(d). Cranes liter the spaces in between. History is being torn down (literally) in the name of progress.

Tearing it down to build something new

Progress is so important to a city surviving. I know this, and I acknowledge it. I even respect it. I just wish progress could do more to respect the past. I visited Louisville this summer, and I felt that old pitter-patter in my heart of the past speaking… Old buildings revitalized lined the streets. I looked at them with awe. I looked at them with sadness… wishing Nashville had followed suit in places, instead of opting for new and shiny.

Its really hard to find country music in Nashville today. Drive down Broadway, where 10 years ago you heard country music, you now here rock. Or the new version of country that is pretty much 90s pop. I find myself asking vendors, “Where can I hear country music?” much like those rock fans asked me for anything except country years ago.

I can’t go downtown and be guaranteed to know anyone any more. Because many I know don’t go there anymore either. It’s all tourists and bachelorette parties.

Broadway

But here is where I acknowledge I’ve changed, too. The thought of going downtown doesn’t excite me any more… it just makes me tired. I prefer an evening at a restaurant or bar with friends visiting instead of the crush and adrenaline of bar hopping. Shots of Fireball or Crown have been replaced by sipping craft beer.

I still get an excited feeling when I see the skyline, and I do still love Nashville… just not as much as I once did. If this were a relationship, I’d ask it if we can just be friends.

Don’t take this as my letter to the world that I’m leaving Nashville and Tennessee. No, this is where my husband and I have made our home, and I do still love being here. I have wonderful friends, and I love our home. I’m branching out in other areas, and I’ve grown SO MUCH in the last 10 years. Like I said, Nashville isn’t the only one in this relationship that’s changed. I have, too.

So who knows what the next 10 years will bring for me as well as for Nashville. The only thing guaranteed is change… and that’s just life.

Sunglass sittin'

1-2-3-4

1234About a month ago, maybe two months at this point, I started noticing the recurrence of “1234” around me. Mostly the fact that I had to crazy habit of looking at the clock at either 12:34 or 1:23. Or more recently 2:34. All. The. Time.

It actually have gotten to the point in which if I am confronted with any variation of that number, I go, “Of course it is!”

So anyone who knows me well know that I am a big fan of Googling things. (Hey, I’ve already diagnosed myself with every disease known to man at some point.)  And here is what I found…

From ANGEL NUMBERS – Joanne Sacred Scribes:

Number 1 encourages you to step forward and start something new, different and life-changing.  Number 2 sets you on your course with balance, faith and ability, and number 3 sees expansion of concepts and life-themes, and expressing and communicating from your authentic self.  Number 4 encourages stability working steadily towards goals.  Angel Number 1234 can be seen as a number of progression and/or steps along a journey or life path.

From Angel Therapy:

When you repeatedly see the number sequences 123 or 1234, it’s a sign to simplify your life. The perfect sequence of 1, followed by 2, then 3, then 4, signals that it’s time for you to make your life more predictable and simpler.

Finally from Spiritual Path:

1234, 234, 345 – If you are repeatedly seeing ascending number sequences such as 1234, this is a sign from your Spirit Guides that these are progressive thoughts. You will see this sign when thinking about an area of your life that you are concerned about and want to change, or when thinking about a particular subject. Seeing this number sequence immediately after these thoughts is a sign that your thoughts are progressive; your life will progress by following these thoughts and you will have your Spirit Guides support in its pursuit.

So long story short, I get the feeling my guardian angels are telling me its time to make changes and move forward. But where do I go? What do I do?

Perhaps this is a good time to do an update on my life and then where I see things going from here.

I’ve written about our plans and dreams to open a bar. That plan and dream is just as strong as ever. In fact, this whole number thing started not long after we got our business plan shipped off to investors. It also happened not long after we found out the building we’d had our sights set on was no longer an option. From a business sense, I totally understood. From a personal sense, its a bit overwhelming to know something you’ve spent a year working on, and are thousands of dollars in debt for, is on hold and you have no true direction at the moment.

I’ve chosen to accept this as a sign that building wasn’t meant to be, but the urge is still there. The dream is ever alive, and it WILL happen. I just feel like I have a lot more to learn before we dive into such a big endeavor with both feet. We need to be in a better place. We need to take steps to BE in that better place.

Snapchat-1558766510991349381So meanwhile, my husband is back to driving tour bus full time. He’d gone back to playing music as his focus for a period of time, because, frankly, he is a musician. Period. We will forever be a musician. It’s part of his DNA. I love that fact, and I’d have it no other way.

However, as I mentioned, thousands of dollars in debt. And while the music could pay our bills, it doesn’t dig us out of that debt. Thankfully, he’s found a permanent “seat” with a wonderful duet. They love him, and he loves the group. He even now has a brand new bus to drive. I think he’s pretty happy. In his heart, he’d obviously prefer to be playing music, but he’s absolutely found the best world he could be in driving.

As for me and that number sequence thing… I have so many directions I love and want to go! And somehow, three of them are really starting to come to light more again.

For one, I want to focus on writing. What do I want to write? I don’t know. But I’ve made up my mind I want to write and now I’m waiting for that spirit guide that has been throwing me numbers to give me some direction on that.

Until then, my love for photography is strong as ever. My 365 I’ve been doing on Instagram this year has been so much fun, but I’m missing quality time with my DSLR. This weekend, I get to embark on my first job as a second shooter for a wedding. This has been on my wish list of jobs for about four years, and it kind of came to me. I’m terrified. I’m excited. I’m thankful. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Snapchat-8421524050292611585-editedFinally, I’m a bartender. I can’t turn it off. I’m not the best bartender to ever sling a drink, but I think I’m pretty good. And I enjoy it. I’ve just been hired on a sub-bartender and tour desk attendant at my favorite brewery in Nashville. Another thing I’ve thought about for years applying to do… and trust me I got the ribbing from others about that. “You are finally here!” I love it. This brewery for some reason has a part of my heart, and I’m excited to officially be on staff representing them.

Meanwhile in all of this, I’ve officially been named President of the local alumni chapter, and I’m still active with the golf tournament benefiting CASA. I stay busy, and I love that. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Simplify my life (as Angel Therapy above)? No, I don’t think that’s the answer. I think the answer is to just be more proactive, and move forward. Something I am very excited to be doing.