Tag Archives: love

about-me, motivational

Loving the life you have…

The other night, on our way home from downtown, I (admittedly out of the blue) went, “I am so happy with my life.”

My husband was happy to hear that, but at the same time was rather baffled by my statement. Where did it come from?

It came from taking a step back for awhile, and taking stock of things. I looked around at other’s lives and realized I am where I am supposed to be. I’m in no way knocking anyone else’s life!! No, don’t get me wrong there. If anything, I could be accused of, now and then, watching others and thinking, “Why am I not doing that?” or, “Man that looks like fun.” or, “I want that.” Face it, we all do that. There’s that whole grass is greener thing that happens to us all.

But that night, I sat back and realized how happy I am to just be me. To be married to my husband. To be living where I live. To do the work I do. To dream the dreams I dream. To have the friends I have. To have a wonderful family. I am thankful for all I have to show for what I’ve done in my life. I’m thankful for the places I can show you where I’ve thoroughly screwed up… because those are lessons that have also helped shape me and my life.

I am right where I am supposed to be for me right now.

There is a wonderful peace in that realization. There’s a wonderful happiness in it. One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. For every thing I take for granted, there is quite possibly someone else who is wishing for that same thing.

Love the life you have. Live it to its fullest. Strive for the next big thing, but also be completely be happy in the moment you are in right now.

I sure am.

husband, music community, optimism, other widows, point of view, relationship thoughts

Love of the music…

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210: My husband and "the other woman"
My husband and his "other woman"

I noticed yesterday that I had a hit on this blog with the search, “musicians love music more than spouce.” Yeah, I didn’t fix the spelling. Keepin’ it real here.

That really made me stop. It really made me a little sad. It really made me want to share my point of view on that.

There was a period of time when my husband and I were dating that I thought that myself. In fact, for awhile it made things easier to think, “The music comes first. And I come second.” Deep down, I spent a lot of time wrestling with that thought and the feelings that accompanied it. Was I okay with that? Was that even true?

Here I am, four and a half years into our marriage, and I realize that thought I had couldn’t be further from the truth. And maybe… maybe I can help the person who did that search come to realize what I’ve come to realize.

Music isn’t something my husband loves. No, its simply a part of who he is. Music is in his soul. It’s as much a part of him as is his arms and legs. It’s practically in his DNA. He needs it like he needs air and water. Even if he were to quit the music tomorrow, he’d still play. He’d still pick apart songs on the radio. He’d still tune my voice out to listen to whatever is being piped through the little speakers in a restaurant.

It’s not that he loves music more than me. It’s that the music is a part of him. And it is in that fact, that I love the music, too.  I have always loved music, but I love it in a different way today. It is a part of our life — at times it IS our life — because its just who he is.

We have a running joke that his Leslie speaker is his “other woman.”  And that I bought her for him. He sees her more than he sees me these days. It’s a lighthearted humor we have in this crazy life.

We’ve talked at length about how WE come before the music. We’ve at least once faced the possibility of walking away from the music, because we thought it was what we needed. Thankfully? Unseen forces threw us right back into the life… wild, crazy, wacky and stressful as it is. I am thankful. Because its just a part of who my husband is… dare I say he is most alive when he’s on stage and everything is clicking. Harmonies, mixes, his piano sound, the Leslie is singing… even when he’s exhausted there’s the light in his eyes.

Simply put, music is a huge part of the man I fell in love with and married. It doesn’t come first, because for a musician… it is not a thing TO come first.

YOU, their spouse, come first. You keep them grounded. You give them the momentum and reason to keep going. Support them. Love them. Love the music. And you’ll find a beautiful harmony in your life.