I just saw a news article that had me fired up. My husband just stared at me, perhaps with a little fear over how mad it made me.
The article was about a young boy who has hair that does not conform to his school’s dress code, and as such has been placed in detention until he gets a hair cut. His mother is threatening a lawsuit because they are causing him mental harm my keeping him apart from his classmates. [article]
My response: GET A HAIR CUT!
I got just as fired up at the beginning of the school year, when a group of students decided they would all wear flip-flops to school on the first day of school to protest the fact that their dress code said flip flops were not allowed. [article on the dress code]
Dress codes exist for a reason: for the well being of the students. There is a concern for their safety, but also for their ability to focus on their school work. As an adult, I know how I dress not only affects my ability to focus on my job, but it also affects how others react to me. But that is something school-age kids have rarely figured out.
When I was in high school, we had a stringent dress code. The length of shorts, skirts and tops were watched closely. No males had facial hair, nor did their hair get long enough to be below their shirt collars. There were no open toed shoes, nor any shoes without backs.
We might have grumbled about it… I know I did, because my height made finding shorts and skirts long enough impossible and, as such, I lived in jeans every day… but in the end, we all followed the rules. Oh sure, we had those who tried to buck the system, but there was never any big drama within that that I can recall.
We knew that high school was more than just book studies; it was getting us ready for “the real world” where jobs have dress codes and you’re expected to confirm to those rules. You “found yourself” or “expressed your individuality” in ways within those rules. You also knew you would be awarded the freedom to dress as you wished when/if you attended college.
Our dress code was less strict than it was for our older siblings and our parents. I know many dress codes today aren’t as strict as ours was. Some schools have since gone on to impose a school uniform to avoid the dress code issue completely.
You don’t have to agree with a dress code, but you do have to follow it. As I already said, it does get you ready for the rules you’ll follow in the workforce. Plus, you’ll get to have your way when you get out of school. When you look at the span of an average life, your junior high and high school years are just a small portion of that life.
It can be argued that by fighting a dress code, you’re learning to stand up for yourself. You are learning to be an individual. But it can also be argued that sometimes you need the lesson that its not so bad to follow the rules.
I wonder sometimes if we haven’t bent the rules so much that they no longer are respected; if that’s not why many of our youth have a lack of respect in general. Have we not promoted individuality and “bucking the system” to the point that many believe rules don’t apply to them?
No matter where you are in your life, there are rules/laws to follow. Isn’t it easier to learn that when the consequence is detention and not life in prison?
(Note: I know this can open a whole can of worms, which makes me hesitant to post this. But let it be known that in general, I prefer a hands-off approach. Guide through respect and solid examples, less by hard-rules. But I also believe there are rules in place for a reason, and those rules should be followed.)
David Byrnes
Adam Fears