Musician's Widow

Since last weekend, I’ve had dogs and cats on the brain. Chewing on the different approaches of the two animals, I realized you could easily take those dynamics and apply them to employee interactions in an office setting.

Are you a dog or are you a cat?  I don’t mean which one do you prefer; I mean which one’s personalities do you emulate while at work.

The dog

When we took in the dog for the weekend, the thing that struck me was how he was so “in your face” at all times.  I couldn’t move two feet and he’d be on my heels. (Something that drove me CRAZY!) In a matter of moments, he’d uprooted my cat and taken his spot on the couch beside me. He was domineering.

It struck me quickly how people can be that way in life and in business. There are those personality types that will be right in your face, demanding attention and approval from their peers and superiors.

Imagine for yourself a new guy walks in the door at work. His eyes are bright with excitement for the job, and any time the boss comes in the door he’s on their heels asking what he can do. What’s the next big project? Do you need coffee? A pen? Something to write on? What can I do for you?

There is without a doubt something to be said for someone with that personality. They’re going to be the first in line to do anything. They’re going to jump when they think something needs to be done immediately.

We all need “dogs” in our lives to keep us motivated as well as to be reliable. You know they’re going to be right there the second you open your mouth to ask for something. Sometimes they’re there even when you don’t need anything… and that’s okay too.

Dogs will more than likely move up the “food chain” quickly due to their persistence and unending amount of motivation and energy. However, I’m not sure what their chances are of being in upper management. Some “dogs” have that leadership quality inherently. Many, though, aim to please and are best being told what to do.

The cat

Comparing cats and dogs is about like telling the tortoise and the hare story.

Cats are more laid back and less in your face. They’re around, doing their thing, all while observing the scene around them. Taking stock of it. Deciding the best maneuver for themselves based on those observations.

When the dog was getting a little overly attentive to me, I’d find myself wanting to seek out my cat. I wanted his calm approach more than the hyper approach of the dog that was driving me a little crazy. I wanted to throw the dog a stick to go one way while I went to hang with the cat.

I imagine in an office setting, a “cat” is that person who sticks to their desk and methodically does the job at hand. They may not necessarily seek out the next job they need to do, and as such could potentially be viewed as being lazy. They might even be that person who gets their neighbor to get them a cup of coffee, “whenever you happen to go that way.”

However, at the end of the day, they get the job done without having made much noise. They’d be the ones who might not get noticed as fast, but they’d also be the ones that get sought out specifically for a task.

I imagine they’d also make great bosses. They’d give you the job, let you know what is expected of you, and instead of beating you over the head with it, they just give you that stare. The one that is disapproving. The one the might make you think they plan to kill you in your sleep. The one you don’t want to get, and thus you do the job without having to be told more than once. It’s not that you know what your punishment is… it’s more that you don’t ever want to find out what it would be!

Other pets

I don’t think I have to explain the snake personality. It is that person who lies in wait — possibly even emulating the cat personality– only, they will be the first to strike and take you out if you get in their way.

Hamsters run and run and run, only to never really get anywhere. They’re just happy to be there.

Horses pull the load and do the hard work. They end up, though, having someone always telling them what to do and when to do it. They’re revered and respected, but at the end of the day they’re never going to make any final decisions of their own.

Personification of animals is nothing new. This whole thing was just something fun I’ve chewed on the last few days.

I took a lot of sociology courses through college — which, by the way, I hated but always just fit in my schedule somehow. Sadly in hindsight, I was very close to having at least a minor in it. I took a few philosophy courses and one psychology course. So, this is my disclaimer: I write this with no real education or paper on the wall to back up anything here. These are just my personal opinions and thoughts.

By the way, I’m not only a cat person, but I’m a “cat” in business as well. Anyone have any idea what they are, and why?

Dog vs Cat -- a scene from my house this weekend

This last weekend I had both a dog and a cat in my house. Growing up, I always considered myself a “dog person” with a dislike for cats. That dislike probably came more from others not liking cats than any real opinion of my own, because once I got my first cat… I began to discover a “cat person” in myself.

This weekend confirmed the transformation was complete. I am without a doubt a cat person.

A cat you can leave for a day without any concern. As long as they have food, water, a litter box and maybe a toy or two, they’re good to go. Self-sufficient, they are. A dog, though, you have to take out and walk. There’s no leaving them for more than a few hours! I also discovered a need for constant attention. This is just something I can’t do working from home. Working Friday ended up being a total bust, and I chalked it up to a life lesson kind of a day.

Anyone who knows me, though, knows those life lesson days usually end up with my doing research and learning about whatever phenomenon I’ve run into. So, I did a quick Google search for “dog or cat personalities” and stumbled upon an article summarizing research done by the (*gulp*) University of Texas in Austin into this exact idea — a difference in the personalities of dog and cat owners.

The article found:

• Dog people were generally about 15 percent more extraverted, 13 percent more agreeable and 11 percent more conscientious than cat people.
• Cat people were generally about 12 percent more neurotic and 11 percent more open than dog people.

So, based on those findings, I’m neurotic, disagreeable, not very conscientious and open. Makes perfect sense to me. Describes me to a T.

Or not.

For me, being a cat person is more about the fact that I want a pet companion, but my schedule is just not structured enough to have a dog. I need a pet that I can snuggle with now and then (especially when the husband is on the road), but that I can also not have to worry about being upended by a sudden change in plans. (Plus, if I am gone for a few days, I only have to worry about finding someone to check the cat every other day at most, versus a friend having to make a daily commitment to the task.) Yes, I want the protection that only a dog can provide, but ultimately the frustration I’ve felt having to care for a dog has made that want a little less important. I’ll stick with my checking the locks every night, keeping a head’s up about my surroundings, and just using my head in every situation in front of me.

So, hello world. I’m Denise. I am a cat person.

(I can hear my brother groaning now.)

How can you get mad at this face:

Its easy when that face decides to wake you every two hours demanding to play.

This has happened to me the last several nights in a row, and I’m officially over it. It’s ceased to be cute. Sleep is what I want… not to be begged to play.

My husband gave our cat a broken guitar string as a new toy, claiming cats love guitar strings. I am fairly sure I have him a, “Yeah… right.” look.

Well.

He was right.

This cat loves this guitar string. He runs around the house carrying it in his mouth like a dog would carry a tennis ball or stick. He will bring it to me while I sit at the desk or on the couch, set it down, and look at me like, “Make it move. Play with me!”

And I have to admit, its super cute.

What is not cute, though, is when he does this at night; when I am in a dead sleep. He jumps up on the bed, sets the string within arms reach, and proceeds to mew loudly until I wake up. The sad thing is that he has me to so well trained, that I find myself playing with him! Half asleep, moving this guitar string around so he can pounce on it. When I come to my senses, I throw it off the bed and he chases after it. Sadly, he usually comes back within two hours and we start all over.

Apparently, this isn’t an unusual phenomenon. I did a quick Google search and I discovered:

• How to Get a Cat to Stop Waking Me Up at Night
• My Cat is a Jerk Who Wakes Me Up All Hours of the Night (A Facebook Group)
• Why your cat wakes you up at 4am in the morning

Not to mention COUNTLESS forum posts and Yahoo! Answers posts. So at least I am not alone. However,that knowledge doesn’t let me get a full night of sleep. I should probably just temporarily lock him out of my room at night, but when hubby isn’t home, I like having him around. Especially when all he does is snuggle up beside me and purr. Its an awesome comfort, and the companionship of a pet helps fill a void when you are home alone.

But, I’m over it. I’m over the late-night play sessions he demands. I might throw HIM off the bed next time!

Okay, I won’t. But it doesn’t mean I won’t be tempted…

Sully (2003 - 2010)

We lost our Sully today.

He was a GREAT cat. Had this strange ability to make people like him, even as he was one “grumpy ol’ man” much of the time.

He at least went peacefully

I discovered him sick on Saturday night after coming home from being out all day. I knew in my heart he’d not make it, and I felt totally helpless within that fact.

My goal became just to keep him calm and comfortable. I don’t think I even expected him to make it 24 hours, but I think he was waiting for Craig to get home. He was really Craig’s cat, even if I had him for seven years.

Craig got home Monday morning, and he agreed… Sully wasn’t going to make it through the night. If he did somehow, we’d take him immediately the next day and just have him put down.

We continued to give him his space, letting nature take its course. It wasn’t long at all, and I happened to peek in at him at the exact moment he took his last breath.

I am glad he was at home, comfortable, with family when he passed as opposed to in a vets office — a place he hated with a passion.

Which brings me down memory lane…

Sully as a kitten

Sully was 23 lbs. Yes, he was fat and needed to go on a diet, but a lot of that was muscle, too. He LIKED it when you’d pet him roughly. It would elicit big purrs and eyes slammed shut in joy.

But he was also a tough guy. My vet in Texas would actually mention him to new employees! I would laugh so hard when I’d come in for something and I’d get, “Oh so THAT’S Sully. Uhm. Okay. I’ll be right back.”

It would take three people to hold him down to trim his claws!! Muzzles, etc. had to be used!

The bizarre thing? Craig never had ANY problems with him. Like I said, he was more Craig’s cat than mine… Craig could just do things with him that NO ONE else could do. Not even me. Or maybe more like especially me!

My last visit to the vet with him was almost a total wash. He fought off the vet from doing all she wanted to do with him! And I was no help, no matter how I tried to hold him and keep him calm for her. Evidence of how strong-willed he was.

But Sully absolutely adored Craig. In fact he’d know when Craig was on the phone with me, and he’d come running full speed to sit beside me… as if it got him closer to Craig. He’d regularly lay on the couch between us, insistent on touching us both somehow.

This photo of Sully is in my most interesting photos on Flickr. He was photogenic!

Sully was very territorial, eliciting a deep growl when something wasn’t right. He’d alert me to someone at the door much like a dog would!

He was also loyal. He never forgot my parents, whose home he lived in for most of his life. When they’d come to visit me, he’d perk up and try to lead my mom to the food bowl like he used to do.

I loved taking pictures of him. He had a regal quality, even as he was a total goofball. We would get the biggest laughs from some of his antics!

I remember when we got our other cat, he ran away! It was hilarious to see this huge, tough cat, RUN from a tiny kitten! It didn’t take too long, though, for the two of them to both become the best of friends. Brothers.

We’re all going to miss him horribly. He seemed so healthy, and my biggest worries were his allergies and the potential of feline diabetes. I kept him up on all his vaccines through the years, and he was my kid… our kid. I’ll miss his being a roaming speed bump, and his need to try to drink out of the shower while we were still in it. I’ll miss him wrestling with Bailey, and his coming to sleep between me and Craig at night.

Rest in peace Sully, you will forever be missed. Pets come and go, but certain ones leave an indelible mark on your heart. Sully was one of those pets.

Bailey & Sully

I got my first cat, Sully, in 2003. Prior to that I’d been a devout “DOG PERSON.” Cats were evil, though I didn’t know why. I think it was because I brother didn’t like cats so I figured I shouldn’t like them either. However my now-husband convinced me otherwise.

So, in summer 2003, I became a dog AND cat person. Sully has proven to be… a grumpy old man even before he got “old.”

My vet’s office in Texas actually would warn new hires about Sully due to how he freaks out at the vets office. I would take him in to get his claws trimmed, and it would take four people to get the job done even AFTER a muzzle was put on him! Quickly it came to pass that I’d walk in and the words, “cat rodeo” would be uttered, and new hires would stare in awe and go, “So THAT’S Sully…”

Needless to say, I think they were relieved when I moved to Nashville.

In fall 2007, we adopted another cat. Little Bailey came into our life as a sweet, innocent, cuddly ball of fur. And in the past year grew up to be a spray-crazy, vocal little annoyance. We’d never gotten him neutered, and the last straw was the day he sprayed on our bed. The next morning I was making him an appointment threatening to “cut ‘em off on my own with a pair of scissors” if the spraying didn’t stop already!

However, silly me did not make note of the fact that I’d scheduled the neutering (and shots for Sully) on a day my husband would be on the road. He has been safe and sound on a tour bus all day while I wrangled our sons.

Bailey wasn’t too difficult this morning. I honestly think it was just because he didn’t know what was happening. He’d never been in a pet carrier before, and it didn’t seem to phase him too much. I was amazed when they called me half an hour later to let me know the procedure had gone fine.

Sully, on the other hand, bolted as soon as he saw his pet carrier come out of the back shed. Wrangling him into the truck was not fun, but at least once he was inside the carrier he was nice and calm during the hour and a half wait in the waiting room to see the vet for shots and a checkup. I briefly, foolishly, thought maybe with age he’d mellowed.

NOPE!

Upon entrance into the examining room, my mellow, snugly Sully turned into something resembling a mountain lion. Hissing. Batting. Snapping. It took three of us to make the shots even happen! I swear it was like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!

I eventually gathered up my babies — Bailey with a list of dos and don’ts for the night, which will be interesting to do and not do considering I have to work tonight — and came home. Only to hit my head trying to wrangle car carriers in the garage. (Don’t ask how, just know it was like the last straw.)

Now, Sully is Mr. Loving again. And Bailey won’t let me come within four feet of him without bolting. At least hubby comes home tonight and can watch the while I am at work. They’ll only go a few hours unattended. So hopefully no one pulls out any sutures not vomits all over the house.

Cat wrangling.

It really should be a sport.