Musician's Widow

We made it home to Nashville from Texas yesterday morning. The 13 hour drive seemed longer than usual, and I attribute that partly to our lack of being in any hurry to come back. We just had that fabulous of a time!

Our plans to head to Oregon for Christmas were canceled thanks to budget concerns and the crazy-high prices of flights at the holidays. So we instead headed to Texas to spend the holiday with my family. Amusingly, the weather, for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, was all Oregon. Misty rain and cold. But our visit ended with warmer temps and sunshine.

I have to say… there was just something about this Christmas. It was so relaxed! It was just filled with this wonderful peace and joy. Its impossible to explain, but it was a special trip for sure. And while my husband and I knew we had to make the trip back home to Nashville to work this weekend, we just couldn’t get motivated to actually leave. We put it off as long as we could before making the long drive back.

Now, any time I am back in Texas, I have this little (okay maybe its kind of long) list of places I’d love to visit and things I’d like to do. I usually do good to knock one or two of the items off the list. This trip? I knocked off more than my fair share of things!

I got to see family, of course. Quality time with my parents, brother, sister-in-law, niece and nephew is priceless, and always at the very top of the list. I have cousins I’d really like to get to spend time with as well, but those visits tend to be rare just due to time constraints. I got to see one of my girl friends to do a quick gift exchange. But friends’ visits will have to wait until I am down for an extended period of time for tax season. And that’s okay… we can spend more time than the rushed visits of the holidays.

Food: Whataburger! Freebirds! Mexican food in general! Green’s Sausage House! Czech Stop! Hiway 77 Cafe! Blue Bell and Dr Pepper! (Granted I can get both of those in Nashville, too, but they just taste better when actually IN Texas.) Places: Aggieland! Frenstat, where my husband and I got married, and where my grandparents are all buried. Cavender’s Boot City!

I got to do all of these things! Crazy cool, I gotta admit. Oh, I always leave things left undone. We wanted to go for a drive in my old truck from high school. There are various people we would love to go visit. And there are locations we always want to take time to explore, but we rarely have time to do so.

But you know, that’s a good thing. I would hate to ever leave not wanting more time.

Time visiting Texas is precious to me. Nashville is definitely home, but I’m a Texan at heart for life. And a Texas Christmas? Well… that’s just something super special to me. Now I look ahead to a planned trip to Oregon in the next couple of months. Ready to go experience my husband’s home with him and embrace his list of things to do. Bring it on!

Christmas is a joyous time of year. Celebrating the birth of Jesus. Enjoying time with family and friends. Finding a moment of peace here on Earth. However, this Christmas I’ve acknowledged the sting of loss during this season. Just yesterday, I learned of two deaths, and my heart ached for their families left behind.

One was a regular at the bar I work at… a kind man who you could depend on for anything. He was our resident carpenter. Sometimes I think the bar was still standing thanks to him. He took many under his wings, standing in as a father figure to many. He had a genuine smile, and was quiet. Often times you didn’t know what he was thinking, but when you’d get to talk to him you’d be revealed a wealth of knowledge. He and my husband became friends after learning they were both Freemasons. When I would work in the hot dog stand, he’d come buy out the candy bars, often leaving me a nice tip. (Even when I’d carefully return him change to avoid it, he’d chide me and tell me to break the big bills down into smaller bills.) His want to buy all the candy to give to the bartenders and waitresses next door made me smile… his kindness unmistakable.

When I received word that he had a massive stroke, with 0% chance of survival, my heart stopped for a moment. And when I heard word he had been taken off life support and had passed away, my heart ached deeply for his children, left two days before Christmas without their Dad… a man who was truly an angel walking here on Earth.

Then later, I learned a woman who graduated a few years ahead of me — her sister a classmate of mine — passed away suddenly yesterday morning. Scouring Facebook for more details, my heart once again ached for the two beautiful little girls left this Christmas without their Mom. This woman posted just Tuesday that she couldn’t wait for Friday, I presume to start her Christmas celebrations. I was struck by life’s cruel irony that Friday would instead be her last day here on Earth. I dropped a note to her sister, but words just seemed cheap at this moment.

This all comes on top of learning about deaths in car accidents (specifically a Texas A&M football player earlier this week), and loss of homes. Death. Loss of any kind. They all sting. But their sting is just a bit sharper. Just a bit more bitter in this time of joy all around.

I pray for strength for these families dealing with their losses. I pray they can still find joy in Christmas, even if its a bittersweet joy. Similarly, I hope those who lost loved ones throughout the last year can find ways to honor their lost loved one, but still see the peace of the holiday. The hope and joy its meant to bring.

My grandma always loved Christmas. The family would gather. Songs were sung; poems were read. Gifts were shared, and food… oh all the food. My parents now live in what was my grandparent’s house, and even though they’ve been in this house for 10 years now — it being my home as well for over half that time — I still will get a moment of pause remembering memories of times lost past, especially here at Christmas. Just today I had one of those brief moments walking through the dining room. For a split second it was as if I stepped back in time, and instead of at Mom and Dad’s house, I was in Grandma’s house and it was time to start preparing for our Christmas dinner soon. I didn’t want to shake the feeling off. I wanted to revel in it. I wanted to remember with a smile.

I hope those facing their deep loss this Christmas will one day do the same; they’ll not look at Christmas with sadness but with the joy of those beautiful memories made before this sadness hit them. God Bless them all and give them strength.

Let’s all take a moment this Christmas to enjoy those we love a little more than usual. To file away those happy memories for the future. They are more priceless than any physical gift could ever hope to be…

Trips and visits to family and friends are never long enough. There’s so much you want to do, and you can never cram it all in to the days allotted.

I always say that’s a good thing, though. It leaves you things to do “next time.” And I figure it you don’t leave wishing you had more time… well… that’s not good. I always want to leave wishing for more time.

Thanksgiving just hasn’t been long enough. I’d love a few extra days to go and do this or that. Especially since I fought a cold the entire trip. Its hard to do it all and enjoy it all when you have chunks of time when all you want to do is lay down and sleep! Ugh!

But, I enjoyed every moment of my time with family, and I look forward to the next time!

Black Friday, Smack Smy-day. I just don’t get it. Why end the beauty of a day of thanks with a mad-dash-beating-people-up-to-buy-something-on-sale?* No, thank you. I’d like to let the peace of Thanksgiving extend into the next day.

Today we slept as late as we wanted. Got up. Ate leftover. Then slowly got ready to get out of the house.

We went to visit friends for awhile (what better tag to Thanksgiving with family is there than visiting friends!?). Then we headed out to do… just whatever.

Did we do a little shopping? Yes, I admit it. We did pick up a few things while we were out. Things we absolutely needed, and we got to the stores well after dark, when they’d cleared out and back to “normal.” Oh okay, some of the employees at the stores were grumpy and the stores were picked over pretty good. But for us, it was fun and not the least bit stressful!

We had a lovely dinner out, then took our time coming back to the house together. Not a single stressful second in the day.

And I loved it.

—–

*Okay, so not everyone is violent with it. And I have heard of several people who do the whole Black Friday midnight shopping this as just a way to spend one-on-one time with certain loved one. And I can totally get behind that.

Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!

I was blessed to spend the day with family. Hubby, Mom, Dad, my brother, sister-in-law, nephew and niece. We had supper together…  Turkey, dressing, sausage, tamales, green bean casserole, rolls, deviled eggs, fruit salad, cake, pumpkin pie, cherry pie, apple pie, cookies, etc.

We watched the last Aggie vs. Texas game… the nail biter to the end. I am disappointed with the outcome, but my heart smiled at the respect shown between the players and coaches of the two teams. (Though I am saddened to know with certainly that respect won’t extend into the stands. It sure didn’t on Facebook!)

A late birthday song and gift exchange occurred for me, my husband and Mom… all of us with birthdays only days apart.

My heart is happy tonight. Despite a painful, disappointing loss of my football game… my heart is still happy. I have so very much to be thankful for today, and thankful, I am.

40 years ago, a young woman and a young man were on the threshold of the biggest day of their lives. She was 18. He was 20. They were getting married the next day. She got her ring as a high school graduation gift. They planned their wedding in a short 4 months time.

By today’s standards, most would probably say they wouldn’t stand a chance.

On October 9, 1971, in a little country church, they said their wedding vows in front of family, friends and God. Promising to love, honor and cherish. In sickness and in health.

You may now kiss the bride.

They cut the cake. They danced their first dance. And they embarked on a life that held… who knew what.

There would be multiple homes and multiple jobs. Eventually a son and then, later, a daughter. There would be sickness. There would be health. There would be the loss of family as age and time took them away. There would be embarking on dreams, making them come true. A family business that would thrive… a husband and wife team not only at home but in the work that they do. There would be weddings of that son and that daughter. A grandson. Then a granddaughter. Faith in God and in each other… and a constant deep friendship and love would carry them through.

Tomorrow, my mom and dad will celebrate 40 years of marriage. I am SO proud to call them Mom and Dad… they are an inspiration and a source of strength. I look to them for guidance in my own marriage. They are amazing role models.

40 years is a rare milestone today, but they’ve made it. They’ve kept those sacred vows said solemnly so many years ago.

Congratulations, Mom and Dad!! HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!

Wish I could be there to celebrate with you…
but we will make it up big time the next time I am there.

I LOVE YOU!