Tag Archives: husband

anniversary, road widows

Our 10th Anniversary

I still remember so clearly, right after we got engaged, being asked when we thought our wedding would be. Without hesitation I said January. It wasn’t that I dreamed of getting married in January, it was purely practical… with my husband-to-be a touring musician, I knew January was the one month that my odds of having him home was greatest. He wouldn’t have to sub-out his gig to get married, and we’d probably actually get to spend anniversaries together.

It worked up to, ironically, today: our 10th Wedding Anniversary.

We got just a little winter precipitation, so I marked the occasion in the white, soft snow.

The week leading up to our wedding, the artist he was playing for had rehearsals. It was one of maybe five times in the last 10 years that I stomped my foot and refused to “compromise.” My groom would be in Texas with me… they had a year notice about our wedding and they could just figure it out. (And they did, and it was fine.)

Our second anniversary, my husband left that afternoon on the road. But he was home for the first half of the day, and we celebrated then.

Otherwise, our anniversaries have been everything from trips, to fancy dinners, to a quiet night at home, to a night out with friends. All of them together.

I took the photo for this year a few days ago while we were out so I could play with a camera I had rented for the holidays. We’ll take a second photo after he gets off the road and we celebrate the special milestone in our marriage.

My husband was so surprised when I encouraged him to take a drive that took him away from home on our anniversary, though.  This is a big one! Why would we be  apart on it?

It’s just our life. Bills still need to be paid, and our life happens to be one that requires us to be apart to “make ends meet.” We’ve missed plenty of holidays (with the exception for Christmas and New Years Eve… see that whole moments-of-not-compromising thing) and birthdays. We’ve never gone to a wedding together. We do what we have to do to take care of each other.

And isn’t that what we said in our vows on that warm January afternoon 10 years ago? We vowed to take care of each other. To love each other. In sickness and in health. For richer or poorer. We do what we have to do to take care of each other… and that often means being apart on special events.

Photo by AJW Photo

The most special event, however, was definitely the event 10 years ago, when we said, “I do.” Since then, life has been an adventure. As I look back over the last decade, I focus on the good stuff and learn from the… not so good. We’ve had our struggles, but they’ve made us stronger and taught us more about ourselves, each other and life itself.

I know I couldn’t ask for a better partner with which to navigate life. And as we continue to build our life together, we will continue to be stronger and fall more and more in love every day, every year, every failure and every success. Because we are a team… and we are always stronger together. Even if it means having to be apart now and then.

Christmas 2016

I love you, Craig. You are my world, my rock, and love. Happy Anniversary! Here’s to many, many more years ahead. Hurry home…

husband, life

A long line of love

Happy Valentine’s Day!

At that statement, you either just rolled your eyes or smiled and nodded. Perhaps a little bit of both.

I’ve been away from home for work the last few weeks, and I flew home to spend this day with my husband. But instead he’s in Oregon with his family, as his Dad’s been in the hospital. So ironically, I’m spending today all alone at home with my two cats.

But. That’s okay. I don’t need this day to tell me that my husband loves me and that I love him. I don’t need roses and chocolate to know we are each others everything. I have our history, our today, and our future to tell me that. I have a solid base of friendship that we’ve built upon over years. I have the dreams we dream, both big and small. I have the knowledge he’s only a phone call away, no matter what.

But more than that, I come from a long line of love. I knew when I said, “I do.” it would be for life. I would draw from the strength and lessons learned from all those loves before me and around me.  We got married in the same church  my parents and grandparents got married in… and today we have the support of friends and family to lift us up any time we hit rough patches.

And rough patches DO happen! Be they between us or around us.

Take today as an example. Having a sick parent is HARD. Especially when they are all the way across the country, dictating us be apart. A big stressful thing of it is that I can’t be right there to support my husband, and I know there’s been countless times all he’s wanted is a hug.

But we’re pulling together nonetheless with all the nuances of life around this, and we have been able to lean on friends in the spaces between to help us take it one day at a time. We’ll get to the other side of this stronger and having learned from it.

Learning from our past and each other is huge to build a solid future. No, we can’t predict the future… what events are to come or how we will react to them. But I do know I have one heck of support system — that long line of love — to lean on as anything and everything comes our way. And that’s priceless.

It’s all of THAT love that I pause and honor today.

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I debated sharing this here, but I might as well. Anyone who knows us in real life has asked us, “So how did y’all meet?” And they’ve received that really uncomfortable silence, because its not an easy story to tell.  Nonetheless, when SheKnows Media did a call out for unorthodox relationships that work, I decided to submit our love story.

I know better than to read comments, but in response to one of the comments on this story, I suppose having conversations over dinner with my parents are considered stolen moments. I’ll make sure and tell them that. Ha! Anyway, our story is ours and I love it, even the “ugly” parts.

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