Musician’s Widow

There’s a double-edged sword to having a great football season. You finally feel like your team is getting respect, but you also end up with a whole lot of people suddenly jumping on the bandwagon claiming to be a fan of your team.

I’m all about my Texas A&M Aggies gaining more fans! That’s great! But I also always kinda liked there being truth in the idea that if you see someone in a Texas A&M shirt, they went to school there. (Or are directly related to someone who did.) It somehow, in my mind, gave our fan base a huge level of credibility (or something like that.)

I overheard someone the other day, talking about Texas A&M and another person joke, “So you dragged that item of clothing out of the closet for the first time in how many years?” clearly poking fun at the other person as if they were a fair-weather fan. I think it was at that point that it hit me… there’s a lot of people who are fans only when we’re good who will suddenly be coming out of the woodwork to “claim” the teams success as their own.

This seriously bothered me for a long time, but in the end… I suppose its good. The more people who take note of TAMU in a positive light, the more they’ll notice all the other amazing things about the university that I love. The 12th Man. Muster. Corp of Cadets. Reveille. Silver Taps. Our many advances in the world of science and business. Our contribution to our military. Howdy, Dammit! and Whoop!

I am an Aggie. I have been since before I was even born. I went to school at Texas A&M Univeristy. I’m not just a fan. I AM an Aggie. I have the diploma on the wall to prove it. I wear my class ring every single day, proud of my accomplishment and my school. Even in our crappy years, I’ve worn my maroon with pride… happy to tell anyone who will listen that I am an Aggie. My blood runs a deep maroon and it always will. No one can take that away from me. No one ever will.

Back in August, I put my Aggie flag out by my porch.

Once an Aggie, always an Aggie.

I put it out feeling strongly we’d struggle this year. First year in the SEC. New coach. Everything in general said this would be a losing year. I didn’t care… I am an Aggie in my heart and in my blood. I’d fly my flag with pride.

Then… then we started winning. What?

Then Heisman talk started for our Freshman QB “Johnny Football.”

I started getting high fives in the bar on Saturdays, when I wear my Aggie gear to work.

We beat #1 Alabama.

Even more high fives. Even more Heisman talk. Stronger talk. Stats started to be thrown around. Texas A&M has been making waves this year. Ranked in the Top 10 going into our last week of regular season play. BCS bowl speculations.

Tonight, we go into our game against Mizzou — fellow former Big XII team now in the SEC. We’re favored to win, but I know better than to just expect it. Look at Alabama, Oregon and K-State this year alone.

Wrong, Feldman. It’s always felt good to be an Aggie. I’ve been proud to be an Aggie since the day I was born. We’re having a good year, yes. VERY good year. But I’m proud of my school even when we’re having an off year.

Win or lose. Always an Aggie.

13 years ago Bonfire collapsed. For anyone on the outside looking in… you could never understand the deep impact that event had on Aggies around the world… old, young, new army, old army. It touched us all. It broke all our hearts. It stands as a moment in time that will not be forgotten.

While Bonfire is no more (not officially) and we no longer play Texas… it still matters. And tonight… I will pause to remember.

11.18.1999 @ 2:42 AM

Video released for the 10 year anniversary of the collapse says more than I could put tonight words here.

There’s a spirit can ne’er be told… it’s the spirit of Aggieland…

Today is my birthday. I had two wishes:

1. To feel good. I’ve been battling allergies that developed into a cold all week. My couch has been my favorite location in general. Getting out of the house was always welcome, but by the time we were heading home from just eating out, I was in pure misery. I wished for my PJs and couch.

2. For my Aggies to win. It was a stretch. Battling #1 Alabama. Everyone kept saying we had a good chance for a win, but I dared not get my hopes up too high.

What happened? I GOT BOTH MY WISHES!!

I woke up today feeling GOOD. I’m still a little congested, but I no longer have that crappy, icky feeling. I feel… well… GOOD. I got dressed up a wedding we were attending, and my only rough part was near the end of the ceremony when I desperately wanted to go blow my  nose.

After the wedding, we joined up with the rest of my local Aggies to watch the game. We got there at half time.

I think I aged more than a year in this day. I was literally shaking from head to toe through the last quarter. SHAKING. I wanted this win so bad, but it was still too much time left. As it ended, I was just numb. We did it. WE WON.

Then my Aggies sang Happy Birthday to me. And I am pretty sure I was beaming.

My husband and I are headed downtown to go out for awhile soon. Head over to the bar where I work (but took the night off) to celebrate. 32. I am 32. Whew. I gotta admit, I always thought my 30s would be the best decade and I can honestly say, so far so good! Looking forward to the year to come!!

WHOOP!!

Life. It gives me so much to write about, but so little time to do it in. Which is precisely why I requested this evening at home. So I could write. Then I proceeded to find a bagillion (its a real number) other things to do first. Much to my husband’s amusement, as he’d ask, “So how’s the blogging going?”

Hrmph.

So anyway. Things on my mind lately.

Hacked
As my Weekly Winners stated, it was brought to my attention that my blog was blocked by Google due to malware. (Thank you, Amy, for telling me!) I have another domain name that I’ve honestly never done anything with… but its become a place I house some images used in this blog’s design. Well, that domain name got hacked (thanks to a plug-in on WordPress that was not properly updated — my bad!) and a trojan got installed onto that other domain. Domino effect occurred and even this blog got blocked until the problem was cleared up and the unsecure plug-in was, well, plugged. (Thanks to Lisey for finding and fixing that!)

This blog takes a whole tribe, I swear.

But the important thing is that all is well again, and everyone should be able to access this site again.

If the people who design and install all these viruses, etc. would put their talents to GOOD use, we’d probably have the cure for cancer by now.

Weekend Madness
I don’t write much about my husband’s trips on the road. I feel like there’s an unspoken confidentiality there that I try to respect. I also keep many of my rants and raves about “the life” for the Road Widows blog.

But this last weekend? Hoo boy! The short-version is: bus fire, canceled show, missed connector, lost guitar. ONE of these could derail a run. All four in one weekend! I was a little afraid to pick my husband up at the airport. I kinda wanted to make him take a cab lest we have an accident on the way home with the luck they had on the road. Crazy!! Can we go back to normal no-drama this coming weekend? Please?

That billboard
Grrrrr… here, let me link to this article which says it all really well. (If you don’t click it, its about the billboard that went up in Gainesville, FL that claimed they’d been annexed by “Aggie Nation.” It was only up a few hours before TAMU had it removed.)

Now, let me shake my fist at those errant individuals who seemed to think this would be funny. I’ve gotten ragged about it more than I care this week thanks to you. I was irritated personally due to how bad it made us look, but the add to it the fact that I’ve had to hear about it all week? You are not funny. You are not clever. You are not showing the true Aggie spirit going into this season in the SEC. Please stop wasting your money and donate it to good causes…

MDA
Like the Muscular Dystrophy Association! Not real happy with how the Labor Day telethon-but-its-not-a-telethon fundraiser went. Gone is the excitement of watching the numbers rise. Gone is a long period of time to bring in dollars. Yes, they got bigger names than ever before. But, dang it, I don’t watch for that! I watched for the show of hope and love. I watched because it warmed my heart just as fast as it broke it. I watched because the money raised was exciting! (We still don’t have a total, and I doubt we will. Sadness!)

And don’t EVEN get me started on how the local Nashville Fox station decided to cut the last hour and show it after the news instead of just moving the news for one night. I’m still ticked off to the -nth degree about THAT.

Please, MDA, find a way to bring back the Labor Day telethon. Please. We live in a world with blinders… the telethon gave people a view into others’ life struggles and got others to reach out and help each other. Thank you for all you do! And Thank You to everyone who donated!

Politics
I hate politics. Be it the presidential election or be it just navigating the work place. Politics stress me out.

That being said. This is the ONLY POLITICAL STATEMENT YOU’LL SEE IN THIS BLOG. So here goes. I don’t consider myself a democrat. I don’t consider myself republican. I don’t consider myself “independent.” I consider myself an American who will vote based on what I see as being the person or people who will care for this country best. So, please, don’t try to sway me that one party is the best party, because I don’t agree with that. I never have. I never will.

Photography
I love photography. I AM turning it into a career.

But to say I am disappointed that both  my weddings this year ended up off my books would be an understatement. At least one is just postponed. So that’s hopeful! Its perhaps for the best, since I was so nervous about it. But it also made me sad, and I went through about a week of just not having my usual photo-interest. Licking my wounds, for lack of a better way to describe it. But my interest is back, and I’m not giving up! I love it too much to give up.

Football
Ahhh… I was born and raised in Texas, and there is a reason why all those football movies and TV shows get set in Texas. Football is KING.

When my brother posted on Facebook about hating to see school start. I just replied back, “But… football!”

Be it high school, college or professional. I love it. Last week I was screaming at my laptop, listening to my high school pull off a last minute win with a 2-pt conversion. I’m GIDDY to go get together with other Middle Tennessee Aggies watch Texas A&M play this Saturday. And, hey, the Cowboys won this week. A pleasant surprise for sure! Now lets see what the Titans do…

I. Love. Football. (I don’t love how it can turn normally civil people its jerks, but that’s their issue and beside the point and a post for another time.)

A photo
Since I’m not entirely sure how to end this post, I’ll leave you with a photo…

Its no secret I’m an Aggie. Born. Bred. Its in my blood. I have the diploma on the wall.

I root for my team whether they win, lose or tie.

But I have to admit. There are times, its an effort to continue to root them on with optimism. It’s hard to watch a team you care about, basically, just fall apart.

I have our game on as I write this. I was optimistic at the half — optimistic that we would get just killed this game. We were holding the score down. Then, as we have habit to do, the third quarter came and the game ran away from us. As I sit here and stare at the current 41 – 17 score, I just sigh and shake my head.

Oh I will very proudly still be wearing my Aggie earrings and necklace when I work tonight. I’m still a proud, hardcore Aggie fan. That will never change.

I always support my team… especially when the support gets tough to give.