Musician's Widow

I majored in journalism in college. I like to joke that I got my BS in BS. I worked in the field for over a year before I decided I didn’t like certain aspects of the job. My breaking point came about this time of year. I had to cover a car accident… where I had to stand on the side of the road, taking pictures and asking questions, while I could hear kids crying from inside the mangled car, and I could see Christmas presents stacked up in the back window. I felt like such a vulture.

I still love writing (as evidenced by writing a blog!) and I still love many aspects of journalism!

However, this week I was presented with something I hate about the job: getting the scoop at the expense of anyone and anything.

My university, Texas A&M, fired their head football coach this week. I started reading the rumblings about it as a possibility already Wednesday night. Twitter is a great place to get the “scoop” — but keeping in mind that what you’re reading is primarily rumors. Sure, I know the people to follow whose rumors tend to be spot-on. But at the end of the day, they are rumors and discussion.

I look to newspapers — the media — to report the facts as they happen.

I repeat. AS THEY HAPPEN.

Thursday, the Twitter-verse exploded after a blog post was run on the Austin American Statesman’s website, stating that “Mike Sherman will be fired as Texas A&M’s head coach either later today or early Friday morning, the American-Statesman has learned.”

WILL BE FIRED. Not has been fired. But will be fired. Information given by an anonymous source. In comments, the defense of the article came that its not anything Aggies hadn’t been discussing as rumors the day before.

In a statement from Sherman after he had been fired, he stated, “It was disappointing to me because my family found out before I did, because it was released (through a leak in the media) before I was told. I think we’re better than that.”

I can easily point fingers at the anonymous source as being out of line leaking the information to the media. I hope this source is found out and reprimanded, because this move makes the university look horrible.

But in the same breath, getting the scoop and running it in the media offended Sherman. And, forgive me, but to me this goes against the Journalism Code of Ethics. Specifically to Minimize Harm. Ethical journalists treat sources, subjects and colleagues as human beings deserving of respect. Running an article that someone is going to be fired before they’ve actually been fired leaves me sick to my stomach. Can you imagine opening the newspaper and reading that you’re going to be fired. Or that your spouse is about to lose their job?? Can you imagine the punch in the gut?

It leaves me angry and sickened!

Past that… what if last minute they decided to hold off on the firing. Either not do it, or at the very least wait until after the bowl game. Suddenly you’ve run a misleading piece, done harm, and you’re left with egg all over your face. It’s just irresponsible.

Yes, this is a blog report, not an “official article.” But its run on the Austin American Statesman website. The post reads as an article. Its my opinion, it should be held to the same code of ethics as any other piece run on that newspaper site.

Over a year ago, I got a taste of a flood. My husband and I were spared from losing anything, but we watched as our fellow Nashvillians watched their homes be destroyed by rising waters.

Today, I sit from afar with my heart breaking over the wildfires in Texas. This drought… this horrible, horrible drought that I wrote about just a couple weeks ago left me with a fear… a fear that is being realized today. Already back in July, I looked around and thought, “One, just ONE carelessly tossed cigarette out of a car could destroy so many homes… could take lives.” The grass crinkled under your feet, parched and dry. It would only take a spark… only take a single spark.

This last weekend, a fire broke out in my hometown. It was, thankfully, contained without loss of life, but not without the loss of a home. It started due to a squirrel getting caught in an electrical wire… something that would make a person chuckle, or that would perhaps not be a big deal “normally” set off chaos and destruction.

When I read about the fire, my heart sank. The area of town being one I know well — one I could envision as vividly as if I was there — made the news so hard to take. I called immediately to find out what I could, to make sure others were okay. My greatest fears with this drought we being realized…

…then right on the heels of that came news of the Bastrop fire. I worried suddenly about anyone and everyone I know or knew who lived there. Were they okay?  I’ve watched the footage on TV. I’ve read many articles on-line. I’ve looked at countless images. They all tug hard at my heart. Reports of fires in California each year strike up an emotional response as well. I try to imagine being in the victims of the fires shoes. But the fear I’ve felt the last few days, as I watch Texas burn, just took that same emotional response and cranked it up to about a 15.

In an almost cruel irony, Nashville has had rain the past two/three days. Our temperatures setting new record low highs. I wished I could send the rain to Texas. I wished I could somehow capture it, and send it down in tanker trucks. I wished they’d just get a break already.

I feel so helpless… so lost on what I can do. I did at least (after several various Google searches) find this list of organizations working to help the victims of these fires. Many of these are for local assistance, but others have addresses where donations can be sent to help. I plan to do what I can to help from here. Perhaps I can hatch a plan of my own, but until then… I am grateful there are organizations out there with the means to help.

Let’s just look at that map for awhile.

I said awhile back with the extreme heat in Texas, “What? Is Texas the new Arizona?” I was joking, but as I stare at that map, I can’t help but wonder. It’s so hard to comprehend from here in Tennessee, where we’ve been blessed with rain through the summer. My yard is a lush, thick green carpet. The lake is nice a full. I’ve fallen asleep to a thunderstorm recently.

However, down in Texas, its a whole different story. The last time I was down, it was definitely already staggering how dry it was… and that was about a month ago, now. National news has been covering the drought here and there, but I know the news reports are nothing like being there in person. Temperatures have been 100+ for days on end, setting records. And the lakes… they’re hardly lakes.

I may be a Nashvillian now, but I am forever in my heart a Texan. And that same heart aches to see the footage of the drought. It aches for the many farmers who have lost their crops and who are losing their cattle due to lack of feed and water.  I don’t think much of the nation realizes what kind of economic impact this drought will have for a long, long time.

Water… its a natural resource we seem to take for granted. But right now, the people of Texas are crying out for it. They are desperate for rain. They are desperate for a break in the high temperatures. Cities that usually have plenty of water in reserve are having to tap into their back-up sources, further draining lakes. As I witness many watering their lawns here, I can’t help be think about those who are just hoping they’ll have water to drink in days and weeks to come down in Texas.

I ask, please, if you’re a believer in God… take this moment to say a short prayer for a break for the people of Texas (and for all those affected by the drought.) Pray for rain.

If you need help with that, beliefnet posted this prayer in July:

“God, you send rains in season. It is a season of need in Texas. Send more rain to that parched land and more again across all the thirsty southern states. Find a small and willing cloud sitting bored over some vacant part of the Caribbean, and give it a push toward Houston. Make a Hurricane, perhaps, not strong enough to destroy, but filled with warmed moisture and send it North. We ask you for rain. Let the drought unite many millions to ask you for help. We trust in you. You made the world to need the waters of heaven. You made the world to need the waters of life. You are the source of rain. We ask you. Let it rain. In Jesus name.”

If you are curious for more details about the drought, check out these articles:

• More Western towns adopt ‘toilet to tap’ strategy to conserve water
• Drought reminds us that water controls destiny
• Texas Farm Losses Reach Record $5.2 Billion After Drought, University Says
• The Long-Term Consequences of Texas’ Worst Ever Drought
• No relief in sight for deadly Texas drought conditions
• Texas Drought Will Harm Ecosystem for a Long Time [PHOTOS]

Like, I hope, millions of others, I sat glued to my TV last night, watching the Jaycee Dugard interview on ABC. I actually rushed home from church and bought a frozen dinner (instead of cooking) so I could watch it.

I’ve periodically wondered how she is doing ever since she was discovered in 2009 after having been missing for 18 years. I understood her need for privacy (refusing to buy any of the magazines that claimed to have the scoop), but I still wondered. Almost exactly six months older than me, her story hit me deeply. I couldn’t imagine missing the 18 keys years of life — junior high, high school, college… marriage. And to have given birth… TWICE… in a backyard…. at such a young age! My heart ached for her, and I prayed she’d find peace and be able to make a life today for herself.

The few clips I saw leading up to the special showed me a strong woman, and I was already inspired by her.

So when I sat down with my bowl of microwaved jambalaya and a glass of wine, I wasn’t watching out of any weird morbid curiosity. I watched to be inspired more…

And I WAS.

What I watched was one of the strongest most amazing women I’ve ever seen. We look up to actresses and singers, etc. but its people like Jaycee that we need to look up to and be inspired by. Having gone through such a horrible ordeal, she faces her story head-on and hopes it’ll help others who have been victims of rape and kidnapping. She has been through a lot, but there was a peace on her face. She spoke of hope and living every single day to its fullest.

Her relationship with her mother made me so happy, and I got teary at times watching them interact. She speaks of her daughters — girls she gave birth to after becoming pregnant at the hands of her captor — with a deep mother’s love of her own. If she finds her “soul mate” and some day gets married, that’s great. But she’s happy in her life as it is.

She’s happy.

And THAT is what I so hoped to see. More than anything, I hoped to see a happy woman.

I’m going to try to pick up her book (A Stolen Life: A Memoir) soon. I want to read more of her strong, positive and inspiring words. Learn more about how she coped through it all. And I’ll read it knowing it is the words of a woman I officially look up to and admire. I pray I never go through anything like what she went through — NO ONE should go through that — but, more, I pray that in any trial thrown at me in life, I will handle it with even a little bit of the strength she has shown to have.

A little peek into my world: I get a majority of my daily news from 3 AM to about 5:30 AM. National news for an hour; local news for a little over an hour. Then I go to bed.

So sometimes I sit here, staring at a blank “Add New Post” page, grasping for a topic idea. Tonight was one of those nights. Seeping from my TV behind me into my conscious brain the words, “Casey Anthony trial” stood out. And I cringed.

I suppose this trial is the OJ Simpson trial of this decade. And just like I did with that trial, I’ve paid little attention. Why? Because I am just too busy with my own life. I haven’t the time nor interest in spending hours on end watching a trial or studying the various nuances of it.

Frankly, I feel for the jury. No matter how they come back from deliberations, people are going to be angry. And I don’t mean people within in the courtroom, I mean people in the general public. The ones who HAVE spent so many hours studying the case and who have drawn their conclusion. People are passionate about their opinions in this case. I just the other night overheard a heated argument between people about the trial!

A quick skim of news articles about the trial netted me one with the headline, “Casey Anthony Fans Send Money for Her to Spend in Jail.” Another, “No verdict, but locals starting to react” talking about law enforcement plans to try to keep the peace whenever the verdict is delivered. I, myself, know of people planning verdict parties for this case!

I am sure Twitter will light up as soon as the news comes out: guilty or not guilty. That’s probably how I’ll find out. I’ll be one of those who goes, “Huh.” and move on. Because as I said, I’m just too busy in my own life to follow it closely. I’m sure I’ll pay attention to my early morning news the next day to get an idea of what was decided by the jurors, mostly so I can speak at least a little intelligently about it to someone else who is passionate in their opinion.

So tell me… are you passionate about this trial? If so, I welcome your opinion on it! Or are you like me, and its barely a blip on your radar? Please tell me I’m not the only person not paying  much attention!

Well, if you’re reading this, I assume the world hasn’t ended. #RaptureFail indeed.

Ahhhh… we make light of it. I think we kind of have to, at this point. For one thing, I think a lot of people believe this bible verse:

But about that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. -Mark 13:32

Predictions about the end of the world have been made my countless philosophers, radicals, and “church leaders.” But at the end of the day, it stands that no one truly knows when it’ll happen. I could be tomorrow. It could be a thousand years from now. We DON’T know. And when anyone so staunchly believes they know the time and date… well, it’s hard to take them seriously for that reason alone.

Further, I have to confess, I feel my stomach clinch at talk of “the end of the world.” Just as it clinches when I stop to think about any time I’ve possibly had a close call on the road, or if I think about the potential of a plane crash, etc. Because I think we all always have things we want to do. Or people we want just one more minute with… to say good bye to…

Things I want to do before my last day:

• Make sure my family knows how very much I love them. My husband, my parents, my brother and his family… everyone.
• Make sure my friends know how much I cherish them all.
• See my words in print (besides newspaper). I have had a passion for writing for too long in life to not be published some day.
• Find my niche in the photography world.
• Make a difference.
• Help my husband knock off more items on his to-do list.
• See my nephew be a part of a cure for Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy.
• REALLY start my own business.
• Be a mom.
• Never stop feeling young.

There is plenty more things, but that’s a few things, in no particular order. I guess some would call it a Bucket List. I just call it a path I want to ensure I stay on in life. So whether I am here when the world does end, or its just my time, I know I’ve lived the best I knew how to live.