Musician's Widow

I am VERY excited to participate in my first Life Well Lived Getting Happy panel this week!

This week’s question: How do you practice self-acceptance and find unconditional love for yourself? How does practicing love first help you attract more love and happiness in your life?

What an amazing question!! When I read it earlier this week, my mind went racing in about a bazillion different directions. I spent the last couple of days trying desperately to reign in my thoughts and put them in order.

I have a friend who everyone adores. She is just one of those people that you can’t really help but love once you meet her. If you ever end up mad at her, its probably because you don’t get to spend enough time with her!

Her favorite quote is:

“Love life and life will love you back. Love people and they will love you back.”
- Arthur Rubinstein

And I think that is the key… she loves people, and in turn they love her. I felt like this tied into this prompt beautifully.

If you give yourself unconditional love, you’re more likely to give that love to others as well. Give and you shall receive.

But how does one start with step one? Giving yourself unconditional love. It’s easier said than done! People are notoriously their own worst critics. Beyond that, unconditional love of self is all too easily confused with being narcissistic. So it seems only right to not love yourself to avoid such a thing happening… right?

That being said… raise your hand if you truly enjoy spending time with someone who constantly puts them self down. You enjoy hearing someone belittle their looks, what they ate, what they wore and what they do for a living?

Right. Didn’t think so. You find yourself stroking that person’s ego, trying to convince them other wise. It’s exhausting!

Personally,  I’d much rather spend time with someone who is confident, happy, and doesn’t look for reassurance from the outside to make up for the self-loathing inside. I find myself drawn to those people, and it in turn makes me happier.

So… step 1… surround yourself with happy people. Spend time with people you want to be more like and let their natural positive energy draw you up. Don’t second guess the time you spend with them. Don’t go, “Oh they’re just being polite.” NO! Stop right there. Let go and enjoy yourself! Let their loving, positive energy draw over you and into you… and you’ll find yourself walking away with a spring in your step and a smile on your face.

Now, step 2, go look in the mirror. No, really, take that high you have from being around other positive people, and look in the mirror. Smile. Stop looking for imperfections and anything you don’t like about yourself. Look yourself in the eye. Look yourself straight in the eye and say the words, “I love me. I’m not perfect, but I embrace my imperfections as things that make me uniquely me. I love me. I deserve love and am loved.”

Say it over and over again. Say any variation of it. However often you have to say it. When you see a mirror, do it again.

I’ve grown to love taking reflection self portraits. I was leery of it at first. Would that seem… weird. Would I appear stuck on myself? But I did it. And I did it again. And again. And I started to find so much fun in it. It gave me this self confidence I didn’t even know was lacking! It started to show this quirky, goofy side of myself that I didn’t even know existed. And I LOVED THAT ABOUT MYSELF.

Step 3, find beauty in your faults. Seriously. Remember when I said to ignore those imperfections? Well… now pay attention to them. But look for the beauty in them. That scar just below your left eye? The one you try to hide with make-up? Well, there’s a story behind it. It’s a part of who you are. Embrace it! Love it! Love that history and instead of hiding it, tell its story to anyone who stares at it. Suddenly that imperfection is something someone else loves about you.

I perhaps am making it sound easy. I know its not. I’m a naturally happy person, but I have my bad days. I have days I hate the world and hate myself for one reason or another. I run into walls that knock me backwards on my butt.

Step 4, understand that sh*t happens and what matters is how you react to it. NO ONE will begrudge you a bad day. So don’t deny yourself that as well. Bad days happen, and I like to think they just make the good days sweeter.

I have several friends who recently went through hard heart breaks. Relationships have ended, and… nothing will make you question love faster than a broken heart! Inevitably, the questioning turns inwards. “Was I not good enough to love? Could anyone ever love me?”

The answer is without a doubt that we all deserve love, and we all have people who love us. But if in that moment you can’t think of a single person who loves you… you can always say, “I love me.” Start your mantra again. Say until you believe it and feel it. Realize that its not the heartbreak that matters; what matters is how you pick yourself up afterwards. Love yourself enough to keep going. Love yourself and watch as you find yourself giving love again… and how you start to get it back again.

February is a month that the word “Love” gets thrown around a lot. I see many unhappy people curse that fact.

I remember one Valentine’s Day… I was single and embracing that fact. I went and I got my belly button pierced. It was a huge, “I am fabulous!” thing. I was embracing being single. I was embracing MYSELF. I was LOVING ME. It was my last Valentine’s Day single, ironically. Nonetheless, five years married, I still look at my belly button (where I no longer wear any jewelry but can still see where it was pierced) and I smile with satisfaction.

I Love Me. And I wish nothing more than for you to love you.

♥ ♥ ♥

Check out more blogs for more thoughts and advice on the Life Well Lived site.  While you are there, make sure you enter the Life Well Lived sweepstakes for a chance to win a Kindle Fire.

Photo by Eddie~S

So Punxsutawney Phil has informed us that its 6 more weeks of winter. Like almost all of my Facebook friends, I can handle more of this kind of winter… mild temps that resemble Spring more than Winter.

I’m no meteorologist, but I think we still have a lot of Winter to go… it’s just going to be late. I could be wrong, but that’s my official non-meteorological opinion.

Groundhog day never ceases to amuse me, though. Even before I ever saw the movie Groundhog Day, I found particular amusement with this “holiday.”

A rodent is going to decide the weather. Uh-huh. Sure.

Of course, as a kid who liked playing outside, I’d root for rain that day, so no shadow would be seen and summer would come quicker. Some particularly long winters, I’d deep down hope this hocus pocus was real. Whatever happened on Feb. 2nd in Pennsylvania would dictate if I’d be outside playing on the swings sooner or later.

Then, I saw the movie Groundhog Day and Feb. 2nd was never the same. It became more about if the day would repeat over and over again, versus if the groundhog saw his shadow. The movie made the day even more amusing than it was before!

Life is so serious, though. I think that’s why days like Groundhog Day are so endearing. What other day can a group of grown men wear top hats and see if a rodent can see his shadow? What other day can we all find this level of simple, lasting entertainment in the hum-drum days of winter? For me, Groundhog Day isn’t about the weather or a movie. It’s about finding a little bit of amusement in ourselves and our history.

Winter will end when it ends. The groundhog is going to go back to bed, pissed off he was awakened in the first place. And we’re all going to go back to the daily rhythm of things that we’ve grown accustomed to once again. But for today? Let’s have a little giggle.

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Photo Credit: Eddie~S

So let’s see. This book has history, strong women, a potential haunting and its set in the South. Gee… is there any doubt I’d gravitate to it and love it?

A Sound Among the Trees by Susan Meissner is a carefully woven and well detailed story that bridges generations with suspense. The story starts with Marielle Bishop moving from Arizona to Virginia to live at Holly Oak with her new husband, his children from his first marriage, and his first wife’s grandmother, Adelaide. If that doesn’t intrigue you, keep in mind that the Civil War mansion where they live may be haunted by Susannah Page, a former resident who is considered by many to be a Civil War traitor.

However, what Marielle finds is that her new home is wrapped up in its past and the events of the lives of the women who have lived there. You get to meet these women through the pages of this book, each one carefully brought to life for the reader.

One of the coolest features of the book is a section of nothing but letters written by Susannah during the Civil War. What a wonderful way to tell her story in her own words and to give a good look at what her life was like as the war raged just outside her front door. The letters gave the whole story a new depth and perspective to the story!

I would certainly recommend this book to anyone. In fact, I plan to re-read it myself!

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from the publisher through the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group book review bloggers program. The opinions I have expressed are my own.

High school rock stars

There’s a Cross Canadian Ragweed song that says, “You’re always 17 in your hometown.” And in a lot of ways, its true. I don’t know what it is about rolling into your hometown that slips you back into that mode. You remember your high school glories. Suddenly I find myself walking with that old swagger. I look around and, while many things have changed, I find a deep comfort in how much is still the same.

I’m in my hometown right now, working at the family business. The other day, I had to make a trip over to the pharmacy. I forgot to pack allergy pills and had to go grab myself a bottle to get through the change in climate and geography.

As I went to leave, I noticed a couple cars in the parking lot. Probably 7 or 8 high school aged kids were hanging out. I had my windows up so I couldn’t hear if they were jamming out to tunes or anything.  But I recognized that swagger in their step. I recognized the attitude in how they  leaned against the cars. This town is THEIR town right now. They are the keepers of the school’s spirit.

It made me smile. It made me actually shake my head to realize none of them were even in school when I was in their shoes. It didn’t make me feel old, as I thought it would. It just made me realize that time moves on, and they are where they are to be and I am where I am meant to be. I wouldn’t trade places with them for all the money in the world.

I may be in my  hometown… but I am most definitely not 17. And I am totally happy in that fact.

Started by the lovely Lotus, Weekly Winners is a fun little thing bloggers do to showcase some of their favorite photos from the previous week.

Visit Lotus’ site and check out her various entries, and find other participants. See some amazing photos brought to you by bloggers around the world. Leave a little love when you do — its like food for the soul!

Photos taken using my Droid Incredible or a Sony DSLR A230.
View all of my photos on my Flickr stream.

♥♥♥

Traveled to Texas this week… so half Nashville, half Texas!

Nashville: The city that I love.

Rain in the Alley

Shot paddle

Southwest Bound

"Wet Cement" nail polish

Pencils lined up, ready for action

Warming my toes in the sun

Windchimes

It's a Shiner night

♥♥♥

Make a muscle, make a difference.

That’s the motto of MDA, the Muscular Dystrophy Association. I write about MDA regularly here, and with good reason! My nephew has Duchenne’s Muscular Dystrophy.

Long-time readers and anyone close to me in person knows this fact, but for any new readers or any hit-and-run readers, this is probably news to you. So to save myself the finger pain, and to save those who have heard it time, a few quick past-post reads to catch you up.

* What do you know about Muscular Dystrophy?

* When to give. Why to give.

* Weekly Winners (Jan. 24 – 30) — From 2010′s Stride & Ride

* Labor Day Weekend = MDA Telethon

On February 4^th, I’m participating in the next big fundraiser for MDA with my family. The Waco MDA Chapter is holding their Stride and Ride at Baylor University. I’m happy about the event, but not about the location. But, I promise not to be one of those people who decks out in A&M gear from head-to-toe just to prove some sort of point. Whatever that may be. It’s about MDA. And the great work that they do.

Okay, so I might do this:

Ha!

Anyway, I had hoped to raise a lot more money for this from my end, but its like a friend said the other night, you can only go to the well so many times. My Nashville Family has been raising money for some of our members, and funds are tight as it is. So I’ve been a bad team member and not raised much money. Insert sad face here.

I do have a page where people can donate, should any of my readers care to sponsor me for a few dollars. Every dollar, five or ten does help.

My nephew is doing amazing, all things considered. When he was diagnosed so many years ago now, we all went through those stages of denial, anger, fear and finally acceptance. But what MDA never made anyone accept is “the status quo.”  They made it no longer about, “Oh hey, here’s what’s going on. Deal with it.” It was all about, “Here’s what’s going on, and here is how we are not only going to help you to handle it, but we’re going to help you realize there is ALWAYS hope. Because we’re making great strides in medicines and procedures, etc. that could one day cure your loved one.”

Those strides are thanks to donations from others. Donations raised during these special events. Donations raised during the Labor Day Telethon. Donations raised on street corners in small town America during bake sales, but because people care.

If anyone would like to sponsor me and donate to our team, awesome. And I thank you in advance. We all thank you. And if you can’t, I understand and thank you for listening.