Tag Archives: advice

health, rants

Unsolicited advice

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157: Celebratory BeerSunday afternoon, my husband and I decided to grab a bite at a local marina. Dinner on the lake? Yes, please!

We grabbed menus and headed for the deck. On our way out, we were asked what we wanted to drink. My husband and I both ordered a cold beer. Ahhh… perfect on a hot day, out by the lake.

A woman walks up to me and goes, “You know you shouldn’t be drinking.”

I was confused! I went, “Yeah? Probably not…” with a nervous laugh. My mind racing… what? Why? I’m trying to get in better shape, and beer doesn’t exactly help that along. I know this. But I’ve also walked a lot today, and its hot outside. Besides… how would she know that I’m on a health kick? What on earth is she talking about?

I looked at her thinking maybe I’d seen her around. Perhaps a reader or Twitter follower.

Nope, didn’t know her.

She goes, “Yeah. I’m just saying. You shouldn’t be drinking.”

As I was handed my beer, I gestured to my husband and went, “Well, I’m not driving. So… whatever.”

She goes, “Well, that’s good…”

And I walked away without a second look. I have to admit, though. It bugged me for a long time. I sat and stewed. I posted about it to Twitter. What on EARTH did she mean? And where did she get off saying that to me?

Finally, I decided maybe she was implying that I’m pregnant. I mean, I admit, my “problem area” is my stomach. Always has been! When I barely weighed 110 lbs., I would buy tummy flattener underclothes for certain dresses. Some women say they have big butts. Some women have thick thighs. I have a belly. No matter if I weigh 110 or 150, its there. I’m working on it, but, frankly, its how I was made. It’s an imperfection, and there is only so much I can do.

I’ve been working hard lately, and I’ve lost over 5 lbs. in the last couple of weeks. My husband can see the change in my shape. I can feel it. I can see it. It feels great! So the more I thought about this, the angrier I got.  I wished I hadn’t been so thrown and I’d have said something to the effect of, “Excuse me? You don’t know me. I don’t know you. Your unsolicited advice is NOT appreciated.”

Oh ok. I’d have probably not said that. That is part of my confusion. I try to get along with everyone, and I didn’t want to be rude. But, I do wish I’d have asked her, “Why?” though. And had she said something to the effect of my being pregnant I’d have GLADLY set her straight. Because, dammit, that is just RUDE.

Yes, my husband and I plan to have kids someday. Just not yet. And as I said, I am working hard to get in shape, and her statement was hurtful in one vein, and motivation in another. On the oft chance she was making some sort of religious point or something else… well, her opinion is STILL not welcome.

For one thing, I’m not pregnant and implying as such is like saying, “You’re fat.” Which, I’m not. And WHAT IF I couldn’t get pregnant. Or WHAT IF I had recently had a miscarriage. Talk about being HURTFUL!!! Talk about this woman potentially placing extreme heartache on someone! How DARE she!?!

I would NEVER tell someone they shouldn’t be drinking. As a bartender, I will decline to serve someone who is already drunk. But past that… every person has their own story, every person is in charge of their own body. And unless you know that person personally, or you are their doctor, or at the VERY LEAST have some clue SOME THING about that person, it is NOT your place to say something.

Assume. It makes an ass out of you and me. This woman, made a TOTAL ass out of herself today. And I am sure somewhere she is thinking she did her part and tried to do a good deed.  Well, all she did was gave me blog fodder. Ha!

Anyone else have a similar thing happen to them? Please, do tell!!

top ten tuesday

Top Ten Tuesday: Ways to get through a rainy day

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Top Ten {Tuesday} I just stumbled upon “Top Ten Tuesday” thanks to a re-tweet on Twitter. Since Tuesdays do seem to be a day I struggle to get blog posts made, this just might by my Tuesday blogging saving grace. We will see!

Its projected to be a very rainy day here in Nashville, coming on the heels of a very snowy week last week. I think its safe to presume, most people around here are a little stir crazy! I know I’m getting there, that’s for sure.

So for my very first Top Ten Tuesday:

Ways to get through a rainy day

  1. Sleep. Of course, as I said, coming on the heels of a week’s worth of snow, it might not be the best option to sleep that much. I know sleep does a body good, but too much sleep can also do harm as well. According to WebMD, too much sleep can be associated with a host of medical problems, including diabetes, heart disease, and increased risk of death. HOWEVER, I’ve always found that sleeping to the sound of rain fall is some of the best sleep ever, so instead of sleeping the day away, grabbing an afternoon nap might be just the ticket to help get through a rainy day.
  2. Dress bright. I know, any men reading this are going, “What??” But I’ve found for myself that on dark dreary days, the best boost is to wear something with a little color. Anything other than just neutral colors. You’ll find the contrast to the outside weather to be a great boost in your mood!
  3. Clean. There is something about the rain falling and making the atmosphere clean that makes me want to clean inside, too. Take time to sweep the floors or run a vacuum over the carpet. You don’t have to do a major cleaning, but take the time inside to do one of those “necessary evil” chores.
  4. Attack an over due project. I read in my travels around the Weekly Winners participants about one woman who used her snow days to do some scrap booking she’s wanted to do. If you are stuck inside due to the rain, why not work on that project you keep putting off for a variety of reasons. Put up those shelves that need to be hung. Do some scrap booking. Organize your DVD collection. Whatever!
  5. Jump in puddles. Granted its winter, and it would probably mean a good case of pneumonia. But if it were warm outside, go play in the rain like you’re five again! Clothing can be washed. Shoes can be replaced. But the freedom that running through the rain brings? PRICELESS!
  6. Movies! Pop some popcorn and have a double, triple or quadruple feature!
  7. Read. I have two books right now waiting to be read and reviewed. Maybe a rainy day is just the perfect time to sit down and read. Preferably with a cup of coffee close-by.
  8. Write a letter. I heard on the news today that schools are taking cursive writing out of the curriculum, because kids prefer to type on their computers or phones. This made me so SAD. Nothing is as personal as a hand-written letter. Write a letter to your significant other. Write a letter to a family member or even a long-lost friend. Sure, you could do an email. That would be great, too. But wouldn’t writing it on paper make the day– and the message — much more special?
  9. For those of you at work or school, share your umbrella with someone. Walking in from the parking lot. Going in between classes. What a wonderful opportunity for a random act of kindness! You might make a new friend in the mean time… boosting both your mood and their mood all through a kind gesture.
  10. Eat a warm meal. To me, a rainy day cries out for a warm meal. Even if you’re on a diet, put the salad away. Have at least a warm bowl of soup. Whatever you do, get through a rainy day with a warm, fully tummy.

This post is linked up to Top Ten Tuesday at Oh Amanda