Riding along

image My husband got a new toy recently. He got a motorcycle. Specifically a Honda VTX 1300.

I know, that means nothing to most of my readers. Frankly, it doesn’t mean a lot to me, either. It’s a motorcycle. And I am still getting used to having it around.

See, I never had any experience with motorcycles at ALL until I met my husband. And I’ll me honest, the stories that stuck out to me in our “getting to know you” days were the ones of his accidents on bikes back in the day. Specifically the one that left him being life flighted with horrible injuries.

So, when my husband would talk about wanting a motorcycle again, my stomach would clinch. Can’t we talk about a hot rod? Or how about a boat? Maybe a horse? But no, he wanted a motorcycle.

I had never ridden on one. It wasn’t really something that was even on my bucket list. But last November, he got me on the back of a friend’s bike for my first ride. And I had fun. I did. But it didn’t really put, “Go get a motorcycle” on my to do list.

A couple months ago, though, an offer fell into our lap to get a motorcycle, and I had absolute no reason to say no, outside of fear.

We took possession a few weeks ago, but we were too busy to ride it. Plus, it needed new registration stickers and it didn’t have a backseat for me.

So, over the last week, all those things were remedied and as I write this, I can say I’ve gone of more than one ride with my husband… and, yes, I do have fun every time. But its still going to take awhile before I get excited about it. I’m trying, though. I am.

My hesitations come from fear of an accident. I trust my husband’s abilities, but I don’t trust other drivers. Not as far as I could throw any of them. I give cars and trucks the evil eye from my backseat perch of the bike. Don’t you DARE hit us!

But my hesitations also come from my constant fear of running out of money. When you’ve lived with $10 in the bank that had to last days, you have this intense need to watch every single penny. The bike needs a lot of parts to be replaced that were removed by the previous owner. It needs a windshield, saddle bags, side panels (really!?), the back turn signals returned to stock, and a crash bar.  Not to mention we want to invest in good leathers, and other riding gear. Oh and I want to outfit it with LEDs so we are seen easily at night. So, yeah, as I joke to my husband, “Money just flying out of here!”  But, that will all come in time as we can afford it. It’s fine as it is; we just want to make it even better.

I’m enjoying it. I am. Honey, see? I said it! I’m enjoying it. It’s fun to ride, and I can’t deny the gas savings! Plus, it gives us a second “vehicle” that we’ve been needing again. So… I’m going to focus on the positive, and the excitement will come with time.

Friday afternoon on my porch

Life got really busy and crazy for awhile. Then as soon as it slowed down, my body slowed down even further leaving me sick in bed with a fever for a few days. Life is normal again, save for the nagging cough that’s hung around and the stuffy nose that just won’t leave, with a normal schedule and normal responsibilities. Somewhere along the “too busy to write” I also lost a lot of interest in it. Every day I open my blog site, and most days I close it without even clicking “new post.”

But today, I got up from a nice long night of sleep, went outside with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and I just sat on my porch swing.

The lawn was freshly mowed yesterday before my husband left for another weekend on the road. Friday is trash day, so a few now-empty trashcans still sit on the side of the road, waiting for their owners to come home from work. The thermometer reads 91° but in the shade with the light breeze it doesn’t seem so bad. Our American flag on the front of the house flutters, and a bee buzzes me every now and then.

I take it all in and realize how blessed I am to live in a safe, quiet neighborhood. It’s a beautiful summer day, and I’m struck with the urge to write and share it with everyone. I do so love to write still, but I can’t keep forcing myself to try to write every single day. It takes the fun out of it, and it makes it truly feel like a job. I have to want to write every day again, like I once did. Writing is something I enjoy, and there is no reason I can’t keep it as part of my career. But writing is a pleasure, and it can’t be forced or it feels fake.

I’m not here to pledge to write more often, but I am here to pledge to write as I feel compelled to do so. Life is back to normal, and there is no reason for me to continue living as if it isn’t. I need to get out of my date book and back into the world. The breeze rustling my hair told me that. And it is high time I listen.