Musician’s Widow

This is the last week before April 15th, and I’m pretty out of it come the end of the day. Between tax season and Muster planning, my plate is overflowing. I need to get some sleep (its only 3:30 am!) but I just couldn’t let another day pass without a post!

Last Friday, I drove down to San Antonio to see my husband for awhile. I loaded the address of the venue they were playing into my phone’s GPS and away I went.

I knew there was one section of the route that the GPS wanted me to take that I did NOT want to follow. For whatever reason, Google Maps likes taking me as the crow flies, which in Texas usually means ending up on little Farm-to-Market roads in the middle of nowhere. That can be fun and all, but when you’re hitting those areas after 3 pm, you’re subject to school buses on top of the already lower speed limit. It is NOT the fastest route, no matter what Google seems to think.

Unfortunately, the location of my “don’t-go-the-way-the-GPS-says” was in a town I’ve gotten lost in more times in my life than I care to admit. Its seriously my Bermuda triangle. It’s sad, really. And just as I feared, I got all turned around and nothing looked right to me. I ultimately ended up following my GPS down lots of little FM roads, with lots of local Sheriffs looking to help their county pocketbooks, instead of hitting the tollroad with a speed limit of 85 mph. (C’mon Google maps. You can NOT tell me that going 55 down little two-lane roads as the crow flies is faster than hitting a 3 lane toll road going 85.)

Once I finally hit the tollroad, I was good to go. Or so I thought. My GPS kept telling me I’d be exiting onto “183″ or something like that, so I kept an eye open for that. I was coming up on a split, and I moved over to stay on the tollroad I was on… it wasn’t until I was committed to that stretch of road that my GPS told me to “stay right at the split” forcing me to miss yet another turn and dropping me onto a totally different state highway in 5 o’clock traffic and sitting through stoplights three or four times.

My 2.5 hour drive turned into almost 3.5, and my nerves were SHOT. (I am not even going to go into the idiots I dealt with… like the guy who blew through the yield sign and that I almost made pee himself when I laid on my horn as I avoided t-boning him… thank God I had slowed down from the 85 mph I’d been doing in anticipation for his stupidity.)

Luckily my Saturday went much better. Travel was a breeze and I got to spend the evening with my (to be a cliche teenager) BFFs.

I LOVE THESE WOMEN.

I am blessed with two amazing women that I call both best friend. One I’ve known since Kindergarten with a history that’s impossible to ignore, the other that amazing college friend that you know you’ll have rest of your life. Both like sisters to me, I cherish every time we can make it work to get together.

Our venue this weekend was downtown Bryan, TX. It’s definitely a place made for people our age, and it was just such a refreshing change of pace for me. I love my bars in Nashville, don’t get me wrong! But the class of the place and area was just… refreshing. I always say I can hang in a dive bar and be happy just as fast as I can dress up and hang in a fancy restaurant and be happy.

But the best part of our venue choice was that we were able to sit around a table, drinking wine, talking for hours on end without interruption. Another friend joined us for awhile — one I haven’t seen in 5 years — and it was such a treat to catch up with her as well!  The night was so very good for the soul, and I really hated to see it end. I already look forward to next time!

Sunday night brought the ACM awards. I’m not going to comment too much on it. I just know it left me very sad… sad of the state of the industry that I love so much.

I seriously feel like the class and respect it demanded all through the years has diminished to catering to… to… what I don’t even know. I work in a bar. I can take dirty jokes. But I was put out with the number of them thrown through the night. I remember when it was more about honoring the greats of country, not doing whatever it takes strictly to get ratings.  I remember looking forward to awards night, glued to the TV. Now, I force myself to watch, and I end it wondering why I bothered.

My biggest complaint since last year is making the “Entertainer of the Year” award fan-voted. There are fan-voted award shows already. Keep this one strictly Academy voted. To me, making the top award fan-voted dilutes it down and makes it just another popularity contest. I happen to be one of the few people who might not be a Taylor Swift fan, but for several years championed her getting the Entertainer award… because she IS an Entertainer. And it doesn’t matter my personal opinion of Blake Shelton, he’s become the current face of country. He’s the one people associate with the genre now. He deserved it, too. These are the angles that the Academy would vote from… or at least SHOULD vote from… in my personal opinion. (And yes, these are MY opinions, not anyone else’s.)

Finally, I got to watch my niece play ball tonight. She’s a fierce softball player, and I think it is going to carry her far. Her team (Born to Win aka BTW) was taking on a team the next town over.

My niece at bat… a swing and a HIT!

What a game! I have to say, its getting more and more fun to go to games as she gets older. They ended up playing an extra inning due to it being tied, but had to call it when it got too dark to play safely. It was like being left with a major cliffhanger… they were ONE out away from winning the game… or one batter away from losing it. I like to go with the first one, though.

I hope someone lets me know how it ends when the finally get to finish playing!

I was afraid this would be the only game I’d get to see, since the season started so late this year. But it looks like I’ll get to catch one more on Monday before I head back home to Nashville. Here’s hoping for a win!

I’m sitting in a hotel room in San Antonio, Texas. I drove out to see my husband do a show with the artist he works for… a rare chance for me to catch a show! It was a short visit… I had to work during the day and then missed two turns on the way, so I was way later than I hoped to be. Then he had to bolt out quick, bound for Biloxi, Mississippi for a show the next day.

But, that’s okay! We’re both good with it, and it was just nice to spend a couple hours together. Every few minutes together matter!

Here I sit, though, by myself in a hotel room. It doesn’t phase me any more, but I can still remember the first time I stayed at a hotel alone. It wigged me out a bit!! It was all on me to get up and get out on time. It was all on me to load the truck and find my way  back. Complete strangers were sleeping maybe 20 yards away from me in the next room, and somehow it felt weird to know that.

That was then. This is now.

Now I find it fun. I enjoy time alone, actually! I’m alone a lot when my husband is on the road, but this is different. This is… a mini-one-night-vacation.

Sometimes, I use the time to get a LOT of work done. Sometimes, I use it just to decompress and turn the brain off entirely. Oddly, I’m doing both tonight. The room is a suite for a change, and I’m chilling on the couch. I settled in to read other’s blogs, not feeling like writing. Then suddenly felt compelled to write. On nights like this, I go with the flow. Whatever I want to do, I do.

It’s a total treat… and I’m enjoying every single second.

I’ve discovered that in life there are people who simply thrive on drama and dragging others into it with them. It drives me, personally, crazy.

Oh I do think a little drama keeps life from being stagnate, and it doesn’t necessarily have to mean a bad thing. Sometimes you have to go through a little drama to get to a really wonderful and positive outcome. I mean, how many relationships get stronger due to weathering some crazy event (or crazy person!)?

Look at reality TV (or any TV show, for that matter), what keeps audience’s attention is the drama and how it will unfold. Once you boot all the drama off the show and out of the story, it gets a bit boring.

That being said, a little drama is okay.

What gets on my nerves is when someone is nothing but drama. You can’t have any sort of conversation with that person without it featuring some sort of crazy drama. They truly seem happiest when there’s something negative going on in their life or someone else’s life. And that TOTALLY baffles me!

Is it a bid for attention? Does it make them feel important? I truly wonder…

How do you deal with these drama queens or drama kings (because, seriously, men can be just as dramatic as any woman!)?

If there is one thing my husband and I rock at, its communication. I credit that fact with having been long-distance relationship for so long.

Sunday, my husband and I ran some errands and then popped into our favorite Irish pub for a light dinner and a beer. It turned into a three hour conversation over a couple rounds of beer. We closed the place down, in fact.

It wasn’t about the beer. It wasn’t about the food. It was no distractions and amazing conversation. After being married over six years, and spending most of almost every day together, we can still sit and talk for hours on end and not run out of anything to say.

I LOVE THAT FACT.

I’m so lucky. I really am. And I know that and I’m thankful.

Do you ever go out to eat to get away from the every day distractions and reconnect? Or what do you do to make sure you can talk? Tell me!

Last week, I went to the eye doctor. It had been too long since I got my eyes checked, and I was officially out of contact lenses. So I was forced to go.

I’ve worn glasses since 2nd grade. I can still remember that eye exam by the school nurse. I still remember knowing when I left her office that my parents would be getting a call. I still remember my first pair of glasses.

I wore glasses up into college. I’m super “ACK!” about anything with my eyes. I’m still thankful for the guy’s patience at the eye doctor when I got contact lenses for the first time. It took me over an hour to get the first pair in, back out and back in afterwards. He was SO patient with me, and he sure didn’t have to be!

Since then, I’ve not looked back. (No pun intended.) I’ve been an exclusively contacts girl for around 15 years. My husband is not a fan of my old glasses that I wear to bed each night after taking out my contacts. An old prescription, I really shouldn’t wear them at all, but I just haven’t seen the need for glasses.

Until I started noticing more and more people rocking glasses… many of which wear contact lenses 90% of the time. I started wishing I had a new pair of glasses, with the proper prescription. So, my husband and I agreed that this would be the year I got new glasses.

I warned him they’d be expensive. I am super, super nearsighted. Like. Ridiculous. I warned the people at the eye doctor and they laughed it off until they did my exam.

Yup. Super nearsighted. My lenses would be really thick. Yes, yes they would be. I knew this as well.

What I didn’t know what how expensive glasses have become in the last 15 years. We got a tax refund on Wednesday. I spent all of it on Thursday on glasses. I was glad my husband and I were both sitting down when the total was read to us. The frames alone were more than my entire glasses were years ago! Then with the type of lenses I need due to my eye sight… YIKES!

But, my eyesight hasn’t changed any in the last 12 years, and I don’t anticipate it being an issue any time soon. So I should be in these glasses for, well, probably another 15 years! So, its a good investment, and you can’t put a price on your ability to see.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Ahhh… Valentine’s Day. The holiday that is hated as much as it is loved.

Singles hate it. Couples enjoy it. Many find it unnecessary. Others hinge their entire month on it.

I, personally, like it. It was the day that my now husband and I said, “I love you,” the first time. (I think it was along the lines of, “Dammit, Denise, you know I love you!” hehe) And I gotta admit, I do love getting roses every year. I even got a special gift for my husband this year, and I can’t wait to give it to him when I see him next week.

I adore getting Valentine’s from my niece and nephew. And I love to find something for them. I especially love trying to find something that ISN’T chocolate or any other candy.

Valentine’s Day, to me, celebrates love in general. Romantic love is the love that gets the most focus, but I don’t think it needs to get ALL the focus. You love your family. You love your friends. You love your pets. Heck… love yourself! Celebrate it all!

I hope everyone out there had a wonderful day. I hope you all know that you are loved. Happy Valentine’s Day!