Musician's Widow

I’m sitting here watching one of the latest episodes of the show Hoarders. The show shines a light on an issue that I think more people deal with than any of us realize. I would have never have called myself a hoarder, exactly, but I think I could have been considered something of a “packrat” at times.

Five years ago this weekend, Hurricane Katrina made landfall and caused extensive damage in Louisiana, Mississippi and Alabama. I worked at a newspaper at that time, so I went back into my archive of articles written while I worked there. Ironically, the way our schedule landed, my column for two days after Katrina hit was entitled, “Cleaning out the clutter.”

An excerpt from that column:

I’m a packrat, and I admit it. I have a lot of STUFF in boxes all over the place, and I’ve recently began a massive project of going through all the boxes with the hopes of throwing things out.

I’m not doing too bad, as bag count has now hit around seven in this on-going project. Five of those bags were thrown out this last weekend.

Is there really any reason to still have a dress code for the school district I attended from 1987? What about a coupon for a free pizza that expired in 1998?

I have no idea how all of this stuff has accumulated over the last 25 years, but it has. My need to save everything under the sun is quickly going out the door along with a receipt for CDs purchased back in 1995.

[Read the full article here]

I think my biggest problem is my need to save receipts and statements. I’ll end up saving them for years and then doing  a mass shred/clean-up like the one I wrote about in that column. The problem is that I don’t save them in files. I have a great filing system set up! I just don’t USE it properly. It all goes in a box that then ends up in a bigger box that then gets shoved in a closet or under a desk.

I do have a method to my madness… generally. My husband tolerates it, but I know he’d rather see more paper clutter get out of the house all together. I’m trying to consciously change here and there to make my collection of receipts, etc. diminish.

I have a lot of books collected. I still have most of my college text books that some days I think I should have tossed. But I’ve recently discovered a need for some of those books. I’ve wanted to go back and re-study things I learned in college, and I am glad to still have those around.

I don’t buy CDs much any more. I do if it benefits a friend, but otherwise I’ve moved away from that. I’m still proud, though, of my nice CD collection. They’re all pretty old by now. Several of them I am sure are scratched. But they are fun to have to show how my musical tastes have changed over the years.

Past that, I have a few boxes of random items that I don’t need, but I’ve just never been able to bring myself to throw away. It’s these random items that makes me feel compassion towards the people on the show Hoarders. Sometimes, you can’t explain it… you just want to save something.

I don’t think I could ever be a full fledged Hoarder. If anything, over the last few years I’ve grown to love keeping things neat. I like to clean out my closet every few months. I have found a peace over my home exists when things are kept in good shape.  I can’t imagine living in a state of constant clutter, in a state of constantly being dirty. I need to vacuum. I need to sweep and mop.

I am a paper-clutter-pack-rat. And I admit that. But I vow its never going to go anywhere past that.

I have a confession to make. I’m tapped out of ideas for today’s blog post. So I admit, I am totally cheating here. I got one of those “bucket list” forwards today, where its a list of random things and you put and X in front of the things you’ve done, then forward it on to others.

So, I though perhaps I would take that forward apart tonight and analyze it from my point of view…

( ) Shot a shot gun — I used to shoot my brother’s BB Gun! But, I do hope to some day get my concealed handgun permit and have one.

( ) Gone on a blind date — Nope! Didn’t date much before hubby, to be honest.

( ) Skipped school — Not on purpose. I missed a couple classes in college due to weather and/or over sleeping. But as for skipping school just to skip? Never did.

( ) Watched someone die — I am sure my time will come, and hopefully it’ll be a peaceful moment. But for now, having watched my cat die last month was enough.

( ) Visited Canada — Not yet, but perhaps some day! I know a lot of Canadians that I really like!

( ) Visited Alaska — The only state my husband has not yet visited. I would love to possibly some day do one of those Alaskan cruises. My aunt has taken one. So has my father-in-law.

( ) Visited Cuba — Not even on my radar.

( ) Visited Europe — YES YES YES I want to do this. This is literally on my bucket list.

( ) Visited South America — Not on my radar either.

(X) Visited Las Vegas — Can’t wait to go back! We have dear friends that live there that we’ve not seen in far too long. Hopefully sooner rather than later for us to get out that way again.

( ) Visited Mexico — Born and raised in Texas; never been to Mexico. I could be persuaded to go to certain areas of it, though.

(X) Visited Florida — I feel weird checking this because I was so young when I went that I don’t remember it at all. But, I suppose it counts. We have dear friends in Florida as well, so I suspect a road trip that direction will happen soon.

(X) Seen the Grand Canyon — I’ve seen it from an airplane. It counts, dang it! But, I would actually love to see it up close and really take it in.

(X) Flown on a plane — I’m a pro at it at this point.

( ) Served on a Jury — I had a jury summons, but a stomach virus that day sidelined me.

(X) Been lost — Seriously, if you’ve never been lost, you’ve not yet started to live.

(X) Traveled to the opposite side of the country — My husband is from Oregon. Love going up there!!

( ) Visited Washington, DC — Some day.

(X ) Swam in the Ocean — I’ve swam in the Gulf of Mexico, but that soooo doesn’t count. But I have gotten my feet wet in the Pacific Ocean in Oregon, which was incredible, but what was REALLY cool was swimming in the Pacific in Hawaii!

(X) Cried yourself to sleep — This is another one in which I think you haven’t lived if you’ve never done this. It happens in the hardest of times, which are the times in which we grow the most.

(X) Played Cops and Robbers — What do you think massive slumber parties are about?!

( ) Played Cowboys and Indians

(X) Recently colored with crayons — Great stress relief!

( ) Sang Karaoke — NOT ENOUGH ALCOHOL IN THE WORLD

(X) Paid for a meal with coins only — I’ve in the same breath written a check for less than a dollar.

( ) Made a prank phone call — Nope. I don’t like making normal phone calls!

(X) Laughed until some beverage came out of your nose — Best medicine in the world is a great laugh.

(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue — Magic.

( ) Have children — Hopefully soon!! We can’t wait.

(X) Had a pet — Dogs, cats and hampsters are my history of pets.

(X) Been fishing — You don’t live in the country and not go fishing!

(X) Been boating — Not enough, though.

( ) Been Water Skiing — I don’t think my shoulders could handle it, to be honest. I’m a wimp.

( ) Been Hiking

( ) Been camping in a trailer/RV

( ) Been camping in a tent — All of the above are things my husband and I have talked about doing at some point, though.

( ) Flown in a small 4-seater airplane — In no hurry to do so, either.

( ) Flown in a glider — I could be convinced!

( ) Flown in a helicopter — I’d love to try this one!

( ) Flown in a hot air balloon — I’d most definitely love to do this one, too!! Consider it also on  my official bucket list.

( ) Driven a Motorcycle — Much to my husband’s dismay, its not happened.

( ) Been bungee-jumping — Pass!

(X) Gone to a drive-in movie — I LOVE THE DRIVE IN MOVIE!!!

(X) Done something that should have killed you — I think simply the way I drove back in the day was pushing it. heh. I’ve slowed down. A lot.

(X) Done something that you will regret (feel sad about) for the rest of your life. — I’ve always tried to live my life with no regrets. Simply learn from your mistakes and never regret them. But, face it, sometimes we all handle things badly that we wish we could go back and change.

( ) Visited Africa – Not even on my radar.

( ) Ridden an elephant — No, but I have had my picture taken with one.

(X) Eaten just cookies for dinner — I’ve eaten cupcakes before dinner too. *gasp*

(X) Been on T.V. — I’m in a music video!

( ) Steal any traffic signs — I don’t know why you’d want to do that.

(X) Been in a car accident — A couple of them. *sigh* Luckily, none of them too serious, and I wasn’t hurt in any of them.

( ) Bailed out of Helicopter/Plane — No, but I do think Skydiving would be fun.

( ) Went Curling — And why, pray tell, would I even want to do this one?

Other things on my personal bucket list: Visit LA, New York City, Italy (specifically), and I’d love to see some of the most interesting sites of our country, Mount Rushmore and Old Faithful to name a couple. I want to have a book published and be hired out to speak at events. Even if i don’t really like public speaking all that much. LOL! Go figure. Things I HAVE done: be in a music video, witness the Grand Ole Opry from backstage, and graduated from Texas A&M University.

What are some of your “must dos” in life? What do you think of these generic lists that go around in email?

How can you get mad at this face:

Its easy when that face decides to wake you every two hours demanding to play.

This has happened to me the last several nights in a row, and I’m officially over it. It’s ceased to be cute. Sleep is what I want… not to be begged to play.

My husband gave our cat a broken guitar string as a new toy, claiming cats love guitar strings. I am fairly sure I have him a, “Yeah… right.” look.

Well.

He was right.

This cat loves this guitar string. He runs around the house carrying it in his mouth like a dog would carry a tennis ball or stick. He will bring it to me while I sit at the desk or on the couch, set it down, and look at me like, “Make it move. Play with me!”

And I have to admit, its super cute.

What is not cute, though, is when he does this at night; when I am in a dead sleep. He jumps up on the bed, sets the string within arms reach, and proceeds to mew loudly until I wake up. The sad thing is that he has me to so well trained, that I find myself playing with him! Half asleep, moving this guitar string around so he can pounce on it. When I come to my senses, I throw it off the bed and he chases after it. Sadly, he usually comes back within two hours and we start all over.

Apparently, this isn’t an unusual phenomenon. I did a quick Google search and I discovered:

• How to Get a Cat to Stop Waking Me Up at Night
• My Cat is a Jerk Who Wakes Me Up All Hours of the Night (A Facebook Group)
• Why your cat wakes you up at 4am in the morning

Not to mention COUNTLESS forum posts and Yahoo! Answers posts. So at least I am not alone. However,that knowledge doesn’t let me get a full night of sleep. I should probably just temporarily lock him out of my room at night, but when hubby isn’t home, I like having him around. Especially when all he does is snuggle up beside me and purr. Its an awesome comfort, and the companionship of a pet helps fill a void when you are home alone.

But, I’m over it. I’m over the late-night play sessions he demands. I might throw HIM off the bed next time!

Okay, I won’t. But it doesn’t mean I won’t be tempted…

We all have those things we do that make no sense, and yet we do them any way. Its as if in certain instances, logic no longer has any effect on us.

Today, I did a big one. I even twittered about it AS I WAS DOING IT.

Why am I sitting on my bed, checking the internet on my phone when my laptop is a foot away? — @niseag03

Yes folks, I spent over an hour reading BlogHer and my email and my Facebook and my Twitter feed ON MY PHONE, cursing how cumbersome it is to Share an article on Facebook via phone, all while my laptop sat open less than a foot away. Can someone explain to me what part of any of this made any sense?

One of my quirks that my husband finds particularly entertaining is the fact that I rarely will change the toilet paper roll. Its such a simple chore! And yet for whatever reason, I hate it and just don’t do it. He teased me that while he’s on the road, I HAVE to change the roll. Unbeknown to him (until now, ha!) I still very rarely change it. If I’m feeling particularly logical, I will. But on a general basis… not so much.

And yes, I did go take a picture of this phenomenon to use as a photo in this post.

In a similar vein, the bad habit I have that gets on my husband’s nerves is how, when cooking, I’ll toss all my trash in one of the sinks instead of putting it in the trash can. The difference in distance is maybe two steps, and yet I consistently do it. Even though I know it gets on his nerves! Its a bad habit. It makes no sense. I am guilty.

So please tell me its not just me! What are some of your more nonsensical moments?

I practically live in blue jeans. Year-around, they are my favorite item in my clothing collection.

However, they are also the one thing I hate trying to purchase. Why? Because I am 6′ tall, and my inseam is 36″. Do you know how difficult that is to find at a price that won’t make you choke?? When I find a pair I like, I will wear them until they literally fall apart.

Which is precisely what happened when I got into my truck Monday night to go to work at the hot dog stand. Yup. I ripped my jeans in the butt. Not just a little rip. A long, gaping rip. The kind you can feel the air hitting your exposed rear through.

I was just glad it happened before I left home and not after I got to work!! I went to change, cursing the fact that I was now going to be down to ONE pair of blue jeans and would need another pair.  I have one pair of khakis, one pair of jeans and one pair of black slacks. That is the extent of my pants collection. A little depressing, to say the least, and, yes, I wear them atleast twice between washings. I make it work, but I draw the line at only one pair of jeans.

So, tonight, I logged into my favorite site to order jeans: Victoria’s Secret. They carry jeans that are 36″ inseam, reasonably priced, and in styles I like. I literally have a VS Angel card to buy jeans. If the day ever comes that they take my card away, I will cry. A lot.

I carefully went through each pair of jeans and narrowed it down to one pair to replace the pair I split the night before. On sale, I didn’t feel TOO bad about the order. Dark blue wash. And I threw in a $4 v-neck t-shirt to my order. It’ll be in sometime around mid-month. I’m excited to have a new pair of jeans! I don’t order them often, because buying pants just overwhelms and frustrates me. But, hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. And I had to order new jeans today. They are my favorite clothing item. They are the bane of my existence.

School supplies are already out in the stores as students and parents begin gearing up for the next school year.

I am 11 years out of high school, and 7 years out of college, and I still LOVE new school supplies. Brand new spiral notebooks. Packs of pens. Crayon boxes. Folders with fun designs on the front. 200-sheet packs of lined notebook paper.

I repeat, I LOVE new school supplies.

Last night, I found myself poking around Target and their back to school section. I couldn’t resist grabbing crayons, markers, and spiral notebooks. (They were on sale!) I poked around the shelves full of folders, paper, dictionaries, and globes. I found myself musing over all the cute little desk organizers, trying to remind myself I didn’t need anything.

Memories of new school years came back to me. How I’d fill a three-ring binder with notebook paper, and I’d itch to write my name on a sheet of paper. Organizers for my assignments would have name, address, etc. filled out weeks before the first school bell rang. I liked school, but I liked new supplies 1000x more. It was like literally being handed a clean slate for the new year.

Today, its not “school supplies” but “office supplies.” Post it notes, printer ink, and staples just aren’t as much fun as three ring binders, erasers, and graph paper. So, I find ways to justify my visits to the back to school supply sales.

Coloring is a great way to relieve stress, but I also happen to really like making my own cards and wrapping paper. If I am shipping a gift to someone, because I can’t be there, it lets me make sure it is a lot more personal! So, I always keep boxes of crayons and markers on hand. (Stickers and glitter, too!)

Spiral notebooks are the best way to jot down ideas for blog posts or to keep to do lists. Unfortunately, with all my husband’s traveling, I am never short of ballpoint pens. He brings home plenty from hotels around the country!

I still carry my backpack from college as my carry-on on flights. I’ve read many articles on how you should present yourself professionally at all times; you never know who you might run into and when. A backpack just doesn’t look professional. But its SO handy and carries everything I need with ease, so I don’t care decide to go with usability over presentation. Plus, there’s the odd comfort level there with it. Its almost like a safety blanket that carries my laptop, magazines and some snacks.

I know its not necessarily rational, but I really do love school supply shopping. Maybe its some strange way of holding on to my youth. When we have kids, they’ll probably end up hating school supply shopping simply because I’ll end up embarrassing them. I’ll be that mom going, “Ooooh!” and grabbing glue, pencil bags, and note cards like it’s a shoe store with a sale on high heels. I’m weird that way.

I can’t wait!

I have no idea what any of us did to July to make it so harsh this year, but whatever it is, I think I speak for almost everyone, we’re sorry!

I’ve mentioned a few things I’ve experienced this month in this blog. And I’ve left other things out. (Perhaps those will come in a later blog entry.) But all around me, I’ve heard tales of tragedy and hardships.

My two best friends have both had cancer strike their families. My “best friend from high school” has a aunt that was diagnosed, and my “best friend from college” had her mother-in-law diagnosed. Both within a day of each other.

A friend here in Nashville has a nephew that has been diagnosed with cancer as well.

An acquaintance from high school had tragedy strike, leaving her brother and a nephew in a burn unit in Dallas. Her other nephew, however, did not survive the accident.

A client of my family’s business had a heart attack and was left in ICU (out of state!) for a few days because of it.

My own nephew, today, is having a doctors appointment in Dallas regarding his Muscular Dystrophy. These regular appointments are key to his doing as well as he has done all these years, but I also know the appointments are stressful and carry a level of uncertainty every time.

All of these events have weighed heavy on my heart. Each event — every single one of them — are valid concerns and stressors. While some may be considered more “severe” than others, it does not lessen the feelings that come with each and every one.

All I can do, all so many of us can do, is simply say a few prayers for strength and comfort for each person and family affected by these negative events.  I often find myself wondering why? Why do these things happen? Why so many all at the same time?

Then I remind myself, sometimes the reason is not for us to know. Or perhaps the reason will come to light in the future. No matter what, we all pull together and help each other. We support each other. And in the end, we grow from these challenges. They make us appreciate the good times more. They make us work a little harder.

Hang in there everyone. We’re all going to get through all our various trials by taking it a day at a time and by leaning on each other. I welcome anyone needing a place to vent or to share their own story –  no matter how trivial or how extreme — in the comments. Sometimes it helps just to talk, and I’m a good listener.