All posts by Denise

Alone and sick

A downside of being a musician’s widow: home alone and sick.

Nashville being ranked 16th highest city for allergies, it stands to reason that my usual Spring allergy outbreak would be worse than normal. I’m miserable and taking care of myself. My husband took off on the road for the weekend, and I kissed him good bye at the airport with a sneeze and a sniffle.

Now, it is kind of nice to be able to sleep on the couch all day drugged up and not feel too bad about not taking care of your spouse since they are off doing what they need to do. But at the same time, it would be really nice to be babied while sick.

At least its not the first time I’ve battled allergies, and I know it won’t be the last. And… at least its just allergies and not something like the flu. I will survive!

Finding kindred spirits

A few nights ago, my husband played in an “All-Star Jam” and I went to watch him play as well as to network and socialize. I had such a great time floating from group to group, but two women that were with two of the other pickers were the people I spent the most time with during the evening.

One of the women, J.D., and I got a chance to talk for awhile as our husbands tore down. The music had stopped so we no longer had to yell at each other to be heard. Before long, we were exchanging “war stories” about our husbands on the road. We were immediate kindred spirits with similar philosophies on it.

Our big thing with our husbands is that, if you say you’ll call then call. It’s hard not to worry about him out on the road. If something happened, it would take a long time for it to get back to us, and even longer to get there to him. We need that reassurance from them that they are okay. And in the same vein, we need them to know WE are okay.

We then got on the subject out of “sleep schedules.” It was comforting to find someone else who says the words, “Don’t call before noon; I won’t be up.” With the guy’s working downtown late at night, or their not being able to call until the early morning hours after a show elsewhere — its not worth ever trying to turn our schedules “normal.” It’s bed between 1 AM and 5 AM. Then you get up at noon. It’s crazy to the rest of the world. It’s just the way it is with us.

I was so glad to find someone like myself. It was a nice reassurance. We’re out there — the musician’s widows of the world. There are less of us than there are musicians, so when you find one… you’re immediately friends.