Musician's Widow

Trips and visits to family and friends are never long enough. There’s so much you want to do, and you can never cram it all in to the days allotted.

I always say that’s a good thing, though. It leaves you things to do “next time.” And I figure it you don’t leave wishing you had more time… well… that’s not good. I always want to leave wishing for more time.

Thanksgiving just hasn’t been long enough. I’d love a few extra days to go and do this or that. Especially since I fought a cold the entire trip. Its hard to do it all and enjoy it all when you have chunks of time when all you want to do is lay down and sleep! Ugh!

But, I enjoyed every moment of my time with family, and I look forward to the next time!

Black Friday, Smack Smy-day. I just don’t get it. Why end the beauty of a day of thanks with a mad-dash-beating-people-up-to-buy-something-on-sale?* No, thank you. I’d like to let the peace of Thanksgiving extend into the next day.

Today we slept as late as we wanted. Got up. Ate leftover. Then slowly got ready to get out of the house.

We went to visit friends for awhile (what better tag to Thanksgiving with family is there than visiting friends!?). Then we headed out to do… just whatever.

Did we do a little shopping? Yes, I admit it. We did pick up a few things while we were out. Things we absolutely needed, and we got to the stores well after dark, when they’d cleared out and back to “normal.” Oh okay, some of the employees at the stores were grumpy and the stores were picked over pretty good. But for us, it was fun and not the least bit stressful!

We had a lovely dinner out, then took our time coming back to the house together. Not a single stressful second in the day.

And I loved it.

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*Okay, so not everyone is violent with it. And I have heard of several people who do the whole Black Friday midnight shopping this as just a way to spend one-on-one time with certain loved one. And I can totally get behind that.

Wishing everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!

I was blessed to spend the day with family. Hubby, Mom, Dad, my brother, sister-in-law, nephew and niece. We had supper together…  Turkey, dressing, sausage, tamales, green bean casserole, rolls, deviled eggs, fruit salad, cake, pumpkin pie, cherry pie, apple pie, cookies, etc.

We watched the last Aggie vs. Texas game… the nail biter to the end. I am disappointed with the outcome, but my heart smiled at the respect shown between the players and coaches of the two teams. (Though I am saddened to know with certainly that respect won’t extend into the stands. It sure didn’t on Facebook!)

A late birthday song and gift exchange occurred for me, my husband and Mom… all of us with birthdays only days apart.

My heart is happy tonight. Despite a painful, disappointing loss of my football game… my heart is still happy. I have so very much to be thankful for today, and thankful, I am.

I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more. – John Adams

I’m spending July 4th alone. And that is a choice I’ve made. I’ve been invited by a big group of friends to a party with lots of food and a view of the downtown fireworks display… but after a lot of deep thinking, I’ve decided to just spend the day on my own.

Now, a day alone isn’t exactly “special” for me. I spend days alone a lot. (Hence that whole “musician’s widow” thing.) However… that’s just an example of my personal independence, and I guess you could say tomorrow is my chance to celebrate that for myself.

Oh I bought the fixin’s for chili cheese dogs yesterday. And I absolutely HAD to have a watermelon. Even though they were way over priced, in my opinion, I had to have it. They had me over a barrel. However, I plan to clean my house. Do laundry. COMPLETELY reclaim my office. (That’s the BIG goal right there!) Things that I somehow just can’t bring  myself to do any other day. This is what I want to do.

If my husband were home, we’d be out at the party with our friends. No doubt about it. We’d bring beer and a side dish or dessert. We’d pack up some tiki torches and lawn chairs. We’d be right in the thick of it. But, since my husband is working, I find myself wanting to instead just lay low. It’s not a dig against our friends, and I pray they don’t take it as such. I just… I just really want the day to do my own thing. Reflect on the day in my own way. It’s going to be my own personal “Independence Day.”

My Wedding Day

There we stood in the back of church. My bridemaids were all filing up, arm-in-arm with my fiance’s groomsmen. I held hands with my dad… a hand that had helped me through so much in my life.

Things I don’t remember — learning to walk, learning to talk.

Things I remember vividly — high school, college, my first job, a broken heart.

Things that have no real description — lessons, emotions, failures, successes. And there we were, about to embark on the next chapter of my life.

“No tears,” he said, giving me a hug.

“No promises,” I said with a little laugh.

There are tears of joy. There are tears of sadness. There are simply tears that result from overwhelming love and this mixture of emotions that have no words.

THAT’S how I feel when I think about my dad. Overwhelming love, respect, thankfulness, and joy. There is no Hallmark card that can ever convey that. They come close, but never quite get there.

My family celebrated Father’s Day a couple weeks ago, when I was down in Texas. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to still acknowledge my dad ON Father’s Day. I’m a Daddy’s girl… any chance to celebrate him, I take!

I went to church tonight, and at the end of mass they had all the fathers, grandfathers and great-grandfathers stand up. I have to confess, I got a tear in my eye.

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. – Rev. Billy Graham

Dad and my niece in 2004.

We rarely hear, “Hi Dad!” on TV. Rarely does a speech start with, “I want to thank my Dad.” They’re that silent strength in so many people’s lives. A thankless job, but one that is so priceless… one that deserves its own day to stop and go, “Thanks, Dad!”

My dad has lead by example. With strength. With kindness. With love. He instilled in me a strong value system. He showed me how to be independent and a leader. He taught me right from wrong.

He has always believed in me, telling me I could do whatever I set my mind to do. Always doing what he could do to pave the way for me to do anything. (He is still doing that to this day!)

He is one of my biggest fans and greatest assets in life. I don’t know that I say thank you enough. I don’t know that I tell him how important he is to me. But I do know that I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if I hadn’t had the incredible father that I have.

I get a huge smile any time my mom laughs at something I do or say and goes, “You are definitely your daddy’s daughter.” Or occasionally my husband will even go, “Oh you picked that up from your dad!” And I usually laaaaaaugh. Yup. Daddy’s Girl indeed.

Wish I could be with my dad on Father’s Day, but I am definitely there in my heart. And I know I’ll get talk to him on the phone for awhile at some point during the day.

If you can’t be with your dad, pick up the phone and call him. If he’s passed away, take a moment to reflect on him. Talk to him in your heart. Or if you have someone who was/is in your life as a father figure (because, lets be honest, not all fathers are Dad’s), take a moment to thank them for being there. Dad is such a thankless but important job. THANK YOU to all the Dad’s out there… hope you have a wonderful day!

Memorial Day weekend. The weekend that is considered the “kick off to summer.” Boats hit the late. Floaties hit the pool. The grills are fired up. Everyone drags out their swim wear. And stores hold huge sales. It’s ALLLLLLLL good.

But. Why do we have Memorial Day? Its not so the girls can jump into string bikinis. It’s not so stores can sell more clothes. It’s not all about the hot dog.

No. We have Memorial Day for this:

To remember the men and women who have given all to keep us all free. To remember their sacrifice. To remember the sacrifice of their families. To say thank you to them… to all our military. All the rest of that stuff? We probably wouldn’t even HAVE that if not for our soldiers.

From http://www.usmemorialday.org:

Memorial Day was officially proclaimed on 5 May 1868 by General John Logan, national commander of the Grand Army of the Republic, and was first observed on 30 May 1868, when flowers were placed on the graves of Union and Confederate soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery. The first state to officially recognize the holiday was New York in 1873. By 1890 it was recognized by all of the northern states. The South refused to acknowledge the day, honoring their dead on separate days until after World War I (when the holiday changed from honoring just those who died fighting in the Civil War to honoring Americans who died fighting in any war).

In 1971, Congress made the day into a three-day weekend in with the National Holiday Act, stating that Memorial Day would be celebrated the last Monday of May.

Friday, I saw a report on the news about the flags being placed at Arlington National Cemetery, and I wondered where I could find something similar in Nashville. I asked my husband, and yesterday he took me to Nashville National Cemetery.

We were both deeply moved by what we found. All the flags, perfectly lined up beside the perfectly lined up headstones. The headstones seemed to stretch forever. We drove slowly, stopping periodically so I could snap photos. A few other people were doing the same. Some were there to put flowers on loved one’s graves. We were silenced. We were touched.

Headstones ranged from the 1800s to today. The ones that said things like, “Loving wife and mother” brought tears to my eyes. (Especially realizing some were MY age.) These people gave the ultimate sacrifice for all of us.

As we drove through an area of particularly old headstones, I asked my husband if he, too, thought some of these soldiers would be saddened by our world today. My husband said he felt they probably would. It made me want to do better. It made me want to earn the life they gave their own life for me and everyone around me to have. These people who helped change the course of history.

After our trip to the cemetery, we did swing out by the lake for awhile for supper. But we both had a different vibe from earlier in the day. We were more thoughtful. More reverent of the day/weekend.

If wherever you are, you have a chance to visit a soldier’s grave… please do. Take a moment to remember why we have this three day weekend. It’s not about bikinis and new shoes. It’s not about barbecue and beer. It’s about our military… the men and women who gave so much for our freedom. Let’s not take it for granted.

On a personal note… my grandpa was a WWII veteran. Tuesday would have been his 89th birthday. I was always proud to be his granddaughter… He had so many stories he would never share, and now never can again. Miss him.

God bless our soldiers… and all their loves one they’ve left behind.