I have had the last three days to myself, and its been wonderful.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband. I love my parents. I love all my friends. But it had been a LONG time since I put me 100% first.
My husband has been on a run west, and I hate to say that I was looking forward to it… but I was. (I wrote about it over at Road Widows.) I was craving time to just do my thing. To rejuvenate. To have a mini-vacation within the walls of my own house.
I got so much done. Three design projects completed (or as complete as they can be in this moment), two more started, and wedding photos from last week are started as well. I feel so much lighter shortening my to do list.
Oh my list of goals was ambitious. Somehow I thought I was going to organize the office and deep clean the house, too, in the time provided. Nuh uh. I did good to get the laundry done and fresh sheets on the bed. And keep the dishes done on a day-to-day basis.
So I didn’t get it ALL done. I’m okay with that! And I missed July 4th with friends. I’m okay with that, too. The last few days, selfish as it might sound, was all about ME. And I am not going to apologize for that fact.
I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival. It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with pomp and parade, with shows, games, sports, guns, bells, bonfires, and illuminations, from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forever more. — John Adams
I’m spending July 4th alone. And that is a choice I’ve made. I’ve been invited by a big group of friends to a party with lots of food and a view of the downtown fireworks display… but after a lot of deep thinking, I’ve decided to just spend the day on my own.
Now, a day alone isn’t exactly “special” for me. I spend days alone a lot. (Hence that whole “musician’s widow” thing.) However… that’s just an example of my personal independence, and I guess you could say tomorrow is my chance to celebrate that for myself.
Oh I bought the fixin’s for chili cheese dogs yesterday. And I absolutely HAD to have a watermelon. Even though they were way over priced, in my opinion, I had to have it. They had me over a barrel. However, I plan to clean my house. Do laundry. COMPLETELY reclaim my office. (That’s the BIG goal right there!) Things that I somehow just can’t bring myself to do any other day. This is what I want to do.
If my husband were home, we’d be out at the party with our friends. No doubt about it. We’d bring beer and a side dish or dessert. We’d pack up some tiki torches and lawn chairs. We’d be right in the thick of it. But, since my husband is working, I find myself wanting to instead just lay low. It’s not a dig against our friends, and I pray they don’t take it as such. I just… I just really want the day to do my own thing. Reflect on the day in my own way. It’s going to be my own personal “Independence Day.”