Category Archives: point of view

That lonely weekend…

I’m supposed to be good at this.

Then why am I sitting here going, “Okay, its time for him to come home?”

I guess I’m just out of practice? Or perhaps its the fact that its a long weekend, so his absence this weekend seems more poignant? Though I’ve spend my birthday alone before. Last year he left on Thanksgiving. This shouldn’t matter. Those weren’t big deals. This shouldn’t be.

No, I guess no matter how much of a “pro” I fancy myself, sometimes you just miss your spouse. And I do miss him more than usual right now. How will I be in a couple weeks when he’s out of the country!? Well… granted… I already have plans to look forward to during that time, so that’ll help. Different circumstances all the way around with that, really.

And really, that’s what it all comes down to. I told him the other day that, “Time passes slower here than it does where you are.” Meaning, he’s so busy that time flies by… whereas while I am busy doing things here at home, I’m still at home. And the time seems to drag by at times.

Perception. That’s a big thing that is hard to adjust for each side of an equation. In a lot of ways, this has been a short run. Heck, had he stayed with his last employer I would have hardly seen him this entire summer. So I am ultimately grateful, and I know he’ll be home in just over a day and a half.

I think myself a pro… but even pros have their moments.

Baby you need to come home
There’s a little bit of something me
In everything in you…

"People"

With my husband currently not on the road — still shopping for a new artist gig — he’s working harder than ever, grabbing gigs in downtown Nashville in the bars and clubs along Broadway and in Printer’s Alley.

The best part of it all is that he’s home at the end of the night every night. I get to see and spend time with him every day of the week, and for that I do feel very grateful. I am accustomed to the “widow” life of seeing my husband leave for days or weeks on the road, and I know that as soon as he gets a new gig we’ll fall right back into that pace of life. So I am savoring this time together with more fervor than anyone knows, because it could change tomorrow.

The worst part of it, is that he’s working over twice as hard for less pay. We’re having to “tighten up the boot straps” quite a bit, and it’s exhausting going six nights a week. But in that same vein, and I grateful for there being work to do. Many people are getting laid off in their industries, and at least he (we) still has work to do. I give myself that reality check almost daily. Reminding myself that even when I’m tired and want a vacation, I need to instead of grateful to have work and to still be able to pay the bills.

Somewhere in the middle of it all has to be “people.” It’s frustrating to see people (ie the crowd) treat his speakers and keyboard cases like their chairs or drink holders. There is no regard for personal property — for the tools needed for him to do his job. At times I want to ask people if they’d like for me to set my beer on their laptops or blackberrys. If I can perch upon their copy machines. They’d probably be appalled, but in a round about way its the same idea.

In a similar vein, I came in with a group of friends to watch my husband play last night. Slowly, one by one, they meandered off to head home, tired from their work days. Soon, there was only me at the table…

But that never lasted long, as one by one I got hit on by men. It was flattering, yes. (Where were all these men when I was single??) But slowly it grew annoying.

Can a woman not sit at a table alone in a bar and not be needing male company? All were very polite and respectful once I explained the my husband was in the band, and that I was there to see him play. But at the same time, it made me want to find a shirt that said, “Married and with the band. Don’t bother. Save your breath and creativity to find the right line.” I amuse myself some times.

In every business, you deal with the good, the bad and the… frustrating. And every day you go back to your job knowing you’ll have to deal with it all over again. Tonight, my husband will haul his gear back into yet another bar and see his equipment get “disrespected.” I’ll go along, helping to move gear and enjoy a night of good music and people watching… and probably at some point try to politely get someone (male, female, sometimes a whole group of friends there to party) to understand why I am there and that, no, I do not need to be taken care of because I am alone.

My husband does it for his love of music, as well as to pay the bills. I come along for both my own love of music, but mostly for my love and support of my husband. It’s a hat I wear (along with “writer, designer, daughter, sister, friend, etc.)… and it’s the one I am most proud to wear.