health, rants

Unsolicited advice

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157: Celebratory BeerSunday afternoon, my husband and I decided to grab a bite at a local marina. Dinner on the lake? Yes, please!

We grabbed menus and headed for the deck. On our way out, we were asked what we wanted to drink. My husband and I both ordered a cold beer. Ahhh… perfect on a hot day, out by the lake.

A woman walks up to me and goes, “You know you shouldn’t be drinking.”

I was confused! I went, “Yeah? Probably not…” with a nervous laugh. My mind racing… what? Why? I’m trying to get in better shape, and beer doesn’t exactly help that along. I know this. But I’ve also walked a lot today, and its hot outside. Besides… how would she know that I’m on a health kick? What on earth is she talking about?

I looked at her thinking maybe I’d seen her around. Perhaps a reader or Twitter follower.

Nope, didn’t know her.

She goes, “Yeah. I’m just saying. You shouldn’t be drinking.”

As I was handed my beer, I gestured to my husband and went, “Well, I’m not driving. So… whatever.”

She goes, “Well, that’s good…”

And I walked away without a second look. I have to admit, though. It bugged me for a long time. I sat and stewed. I posted about it to Twitter. What on EARTH did she mean? And where did she get off saying that to me?

Finally, I decided maybe she was implying that I’m pregnant. I mean, I admit, my “problem area” is my stomach. Always has been! When I barely weighed 110 lbs., I would buy tummy flattener underclothes for certain dresses. Some women say they have big butts. Some women have thick thighs. I have a belly. No matter if I weigh 110 or 150, its there. I’m working on it, but, frankly, its how I was made. It’s an imperfection, and there is only so much I can do.

I’ve been working hard lately, and I’ve lost over 5 lbs. in the last couple of weeks. My husband can see the change in my shape. I can feel it. I can see it. It feels great! So the more I thought about this, the angrier I got.  I wished I hadn’t been so thrown and I’d have said something to the effect of, “Excuse me? You don’t know me. I don’t know you. Your unsolicited advice is NOT appreciated.”

Oh ok. I’d have probably not said that. That is part of my confusion. I try to get along with everyone, and I didn’t want to be rude. But, I do wish I’d have asked her, “Why?” though. And had she said something to the effect of my being pregnant I’d have GLADLY set her straight. Because, dammit, that is just RUDE.

Yes, my husband and I plan to have kids someday. Just not yet. And as I said, I am working hard to get in shape, and her statement was hurtful in one vein, and motivation in another. On the oft chance she was making some sort of religious point or something else… well, her opinion is STILL not welcome.

For one thing, I’m not pregnant and implying as such is like saying, “You’re fat.” Which, I’m not. And WHAT IF I couldn’t get pregnant. Or WHAT IF I had recently had a miscarriage. Talk about being HURTFUL!!! Talk about this woman potentially placing extreme heartache on someone! How DARE she!?!

I would NEVER tell someone they shouldn’t be drinking. As a bartender, I will decline to serve someone who is already drunk. But past that… every person has their own story, every person is in charge of their own body. And unless you know that person personally, or you are their doctor, or at the VERY LEAST have some clue SOME THING about that person, it is NOT your place to say something.

Assume. It makes an ass out of you and me. This woman, made a TOTAL ass out of herself today. And I am sure somewhere she is thinking she did her part and tried to do a good deed.  Well, all she did was gave me blog fodder. Ha!

Anyone else have a similar thing happen to them? Please, do tell!!

family, memories

My grandpa was the milk man

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My grandpa and my dad outside the milk truck

My grandpa was the milk man.

I know. That sounds like some bad “dirty joke” pun, but it’s true! My grandpa was the milk man. And if he were still alive, he’d have been 89 years old today.

I always took great pride in being my grandpa’s granddaughter. I remember introducing myself to people growing up, and they would get this thoughtful look on their face.

“Any relation to the old milk man we used to have here?” And I grin from ear-to-ear and confirm that, “Yup. That’s my grandpa! … What’s he up to today? Oh he’s a jack-of-all-trades handyman around town.”

“Ah… good… good. I remember the time…”

Everyone always had a story about grandpa. It wasn’t until after he died that I heard the story of him pulling a family out of a burning building while on his milk route. I think that one is my favorite one of them all. That and the fact that he raised seven kids with my grandma… yes, seven. They were married over 50 years before death did they part, when my grandma passed away.

Oh and did I mention he served in WWII? Yup. He was a cook! And man… those cooks on M*A*S*H? Yeah, they weren’t my grandpa. He made GREAT food. Best hamburgers ever.  EVER.  Whataburger? In-N-Out. Pffffft. They WISH they were as good as grandpa’s burgers. They WISH.

Grandpa and Grandma

By the way, you know how I’m an Aggie? Yeah, my grandpa worked as a cook at Sbisa mess hall back in the day. So, you see, my ties to Texas A&M go way back. (My Uncle Milton, Mom’s brother, worked at TAMU at one time as well!) The first time I ate dinner in Sibsa, I looked around and smiled, knowing Grandpa was smiling down on me as well.

I remember when I got accepted to Texas A&M, my grandpa was in a VA nursing home. I got him an “Aggie’s Grandpa” bumper sticker for his motorized wheelchair.  And, you know, he put it on it and rode around with it proudly displayed!

Grandpa always said I reminded him of my grandma when she was younger. And I think that’s why he got so upset the first time I colored my hair. I still remember feeling guilty when he gave me that look of disapproval of my choice to lighten my hair.

But, I think deep down, he knew I was me and I was going to do my own thing.  That or Grandma set him straight on that. haha!!! Who knows.

I just know that if anyone asks me about my grandparents, I smile and say, “My grandpa was the milk man.” and if anyone will listen long enough, I’ll tell them all about him.

Happy Birthday, Grandpa! Make sure you dance with Grandma in heaven today and celebrate your special day… just the way I know you two danced the day you joined her up there. You had a special love… and you’ve always been a role model for me and, I don’t doubt, all your kids and grandkids. I love you!

I was safe in Grandpa's arms.