Guy at bar: Who’s cup is that?
Guy: You like them or something?
Guy (slinking back): Oh. Well. Uh. Congrats on your win.
Me: Thank you.
It’s April 17th. Do you know where your taxes are? Did you already file? Are they on extension? Are you just going to pretend they don’t exist and not file for another year or two or ten?
Last week, I posted on Twitter several little “tax rants” that friends said made them laugh. So to mark the end of tax season, I thought I’d compile those rants along with things that you have to laugh about… lest you go a little crazy.
- Believe it or not, taking your financial documents OUT of their envelopes would save us about 2 hrs a day of BS work. At the very least, OPEN the envelopes!
- I should start putting a dollar in a jar every time someone goes, “Bet ya’ll are busy right now!”
- (Yesterday) I like to work on a deadline, but c’mon people. You’ve had 3 mo. to get your tax stuff in here. NO! We will NOT file it TODAY. Get in line behind all these people I’m making sure have extensions filed.
- Don’t ask if you got the Earned Income Tax Credit when you didn’t have any, you know, earned income.
- I’m baffled by those who file on the last day. It’s like shopping on Christmas Eve and wondering why all the Ferbies are sold out!
- Yes, we do take a lunch hour!
- At least every other day you hear, “Where’s the Crown bottle!?” and my parents don’t even drink!
- “So… are you still married?” (Yes, someone asked me this since I was here in Texas working instead of in Nashville.)
- My dad is a stickler for making sure the dependents a person claims are legitimately their dependents. You won’t believe how many people want to know how many dependents they need to get a “good” refund. What I want to know is where do they get these dependents. Do they grow on trees somewhere?
- “Can I write off my daughter’s wedding?”
- No, ma’am. We don’t give you your refund. The government does. Nice try, though!