Musician's Widow

Since last weekend, I’ve had dogs and cats on the brain. Chewing on the different approaches of the two animals, I realized you could easily take those dynamics and apply them to employee interactions in an office setting.

Are you a dog or are you a cat?  I don’t mean which one do you prefer; I mean which one’s personalities do you emulate while at work.

The dog

When we took in the dog for the weekend, the thing that struck me was how he was so “in your face” at all times.  I couldn’t move two feet and he’d be on my heels. (Something that drove me CRAZY!) In a matter of moments, he’d uprooted my cat and taken his spot on the couch beside me. He was domineering.

It struck me quickly how people can be that way in life and in business. There are those personality types that will be right in your face, demanding attention and approval from their peers and superiors.

Imagine for yourself a new guy walks in the door at work. His eyes are bright with excitement for the job, and any time the boss comes in the door he’s on their heels asking what he can do. What’s the next big project? Do you need coffee? A pen? Something to write on? What can I do for you?

There is without a doubt something to be said for someone with that personality. They’re going to be the first in line to do anything. They’re going to jump when they think something needs to be done immediately.

We all need “dogs” in our lives to keep us motivated as well as to be reliable. You know they’re going to be right there the second you open your mouth to ask for something. Sometimes they’re there even when you don’t need anything… and that’s okay too.

Dogs will more than likely move up the “food chain” quickly due to their persistence and unending amount of motivation and energy. However, I’m not sure what their chances are of being in upper management. Some “dogs” have that leadership quality inherently. Many, though, aim to please and are best being told what to do.

The cat

Comparing cats and dogs is about like telling the tortoise and the hare story.

Cats are more laid back and less in your face. They’re around, doing their thing, all while observing the scene around them. Taking stock of it. Deciding the best maneuver for themselves based on those observations.

When the dog was getting a little overly attentive to me, I’d find myself wanting to seek out my cat. I wanted his calm approach more than the hyper approach of the dog that was driving me a little crazy. I wanted to throw the dog a stick to go one way while I went to hang with the cat.

I imagine in an office setting, a “cat” is that person who sticks to their desk and methodically does the job at hand. They may not necessarily seek out the next job they need to do, and as such could potentially be viewed as being lazy. They might even be that person who gets their neighbor to get them a cup of coffee, “whenever you happen to go that way.”

However, at the end of the day, they get the job done without having made much noise. They’d be the ones who might not get noticed as fast, but they’d also be the ones that get sought out specifically for a task.

I imagine they’d also make great bosses. They’d give you the job, let you know what is expected of you, and instead of beating you over the head with it, they just give you that stare. The one that is disapproving. The one the might make you think they plan to kill you in your sleep. The one you don’t want to get, and thus you do the job without having to be told more than once. It’s not that you know what your punishment is… it’s more that you don’t ever want to find out what it would be!

Other pets

I don’t think I have to explain the snake personality. It is that person who lies in wait — possibly even emulating the cat personality– only, they will be the first to strike and take you out if you get in their way.

Hamsters run and run and run, only to never really get anywhere. They’re just happy to be there.

Horses pull the load and do the hard work. They end up, though, having someone always telling them what to do and when to do it. They’re revered and respected, but at the end of the day they’re never going to make any final decisions of their own.

Personification of animals is nothing new. This whole thing was just something fun I’ve chewed on the last few days.

I took a lot of sociology courses through college — which, by the way, I hated but always just fit in my schedule somehow. Sadly in hindsight, I was very close to having at least a minor in it. I took a few philosophy courses and one psychology course. So, this is my disclaimer: I write this with no real education or paper on the wall to back up anything here. These are just my personal opinions and thoughts.

By the way, I’m not only a cat person, but I’m a “cat” in business as well. Anyone have any idea what they are, and why?

Dog vs Cat -- a scene from my house this weekend

This last weekend I had both a dog and a cat in my house. Growing up, I always considered myself a “dog person” with a dislike for cats. That dislike probably came more from others not liking cats than any real opinion of my own, because once I got my first cat… I began to discover a “cat person” in myself.

This weekend confirmed the transformation was complete. I am without a doubt a cat person.

A cat you can leave for a day without any concern. As long as they have food, water, a litter box and maybe a toy or two, they’re good to go. Self-sufficient, they are. A dog, though, you have to take out and walk. There’s no leaving them for more than a few hours! I also discovered a need for constant attention. This is just something I can’t do working from home. Working Friday ended up being a total bust, and I chalked it up to a life lesson kind of a day.

Anyone who knows me, though, knows those life lesson days usually end up with my doing research and learning about whatever phenomenon I’ve run into. So, I did a quick Google search for “dog or cat personalities” and stumbled upon an article summarizing research done by the (*gulp*) University of Texas in Austin into this exact idea — a difference in the personalities of dog and cat owners.

The article found:

• Dog people were generally about 15 percent more extraverted, 13 percent more agreeable and 11 percent more conscientious than cat people.
• Cat people were generally about 12 percent more neurotic and 11 percent more open than dog people.

So, based on those findings, I’m neurotic, disagreeable, not very conscientious and open. Makes perfect sense to me. Describes me to a T.

Or not.

For me, being a cat person is more about the fact that I want a pet companion, but my schedule is just not structured enough to have a dog. I need a pet that I can snuggle with now and then (especially when the husband is on the road), but that I can also not have to worry about being upended by a sudden change in plans. (Plus, if I am gone for a few days, I only have to worry about finding someone to check the cat every other day at most, versus a friend having to make a daily commitment to the task.) Yes, I want the protection that only a dog can provide, but ultimately the frustration I’ve felt having to care for a dog has made that want a little less important. I’ll stick with my checking the locks every night, keeping a head’s up about my surroundings, and just using my head in every situation in front of me.

So, hello world. I’m Denise. I am a cat person.

(I can hear my brother groaning now.)

There are a few things I “hate.”  Liver is one of those things. Red Raiders and Longhorns are two other things. (*grin*) I’m not even fond of making phone calls. (THAT is a blog post in and of itself!) But one thing I REALLY don’t like is going to the doctor.

I think it all started when I went through a period of time in which it seemed like I was at the hospital every time I turned around. I had the mantra, “I hate hospitals.” which eventually just morphed into, “I hate going to the doctor.”

Now, don’t get me wrong, there are times it is good to be at the doctor’s office or the hospital. Like, a baby being born. That’s a good thing! Or someone being discharged after having been sick. That’s also a good thing! And, really, doctors serve a very important and necessary purpose in our world. We’d be in terrible shape without them. So I am thankful for doctors.

I just don’t like having to see them.

A big reason, I think, is the fear of finding out something bad. I confess, I am a big, “Hear no evil, see no evil…” fan. Is that good? Not really. But its how I am. So there is that. Even when I feel completely healthy and have no signs of anything, I fear being told, “Your tests came back strange,” or, “I noticed something strange when I did this.” I don’t like being blindsided. No one does. No one should. But the fact remains that it can happen. In the end, its best to know when something is wrong, so you can fix it. I know this. But I also know that I don’t like those kinds of surprises.

So as such, I don’t like going to the doctor.

Another thing, I’ve had too many times lately in which I HAVE been sick and I’ve gone to the doctor only to not get anywhere. The worst time was when I had a horrible sinus infection. I’ve had enough of them to know when I have a sinus infection. The doctor came in to the room — I could barely even sit up I felt so bad — she pushed between my eyes and went, “Does this hurt.”

It didn’t. So she said I didn’t have a sinus infection and didn’t want to give me anything. I would have been livid if I’d had the energy to feel that way. I had to fight to get a prescription antibiotic! It left me with yet another bad taste in my mouth towards doctors.

So. I don’t like doctors. I fear being given bad news, and I fear not getting help when I truly need it. Both of which kind of defeat the purpose of the doctor in the first place, right?

But I do go. I went today for a check-up in fact. I know their need. I know their purpose. I respect them immensely. But that being said, I still don’t like them.

I’m being one of THOSE people today. You know the kind. Those people who go to a coffee shop with their laptops, sit in the corner, and type furiously. The ones you wonder if they are writing about you or a term paper. Why do they have to do that in public? How… pretentious!

Well, first off, I AM writing about you. (I’ll get to that in a minute.) Second of all, its not pretentious, its just me needing to get out of the house! Yes, I could do this from home. I have been for the last week! But its lonely at home. My cat does not hold conversations very well. And, seriously, as much as I love my house… I can’t handle being in it almost non-stop for seven days.

See, my husband in right in the middle of a two-week run to the west-coast. And I am just WAY out of practice of his being gone so long. I’m used to a maximum of maybe four days out, then home for at least a day or two.  Not this run. Two weeks solid. And talking on the phone only gets me so far in the sanity department.

I’ve wanted to come down to Starbucks for awhile now. It’s kind of a no-brainer. Its barely three miles from my house, in fact. But I just couldn’t justify the cost. I have coffee at home. I have internet at home. I even had cupcake mixes at home!  But, you see in that picture above, the card? Yeah, that card pretty much gave me back some of my sanity. My cousin sent me that with a little treat inside that resulted in my gleefully hitting Starbucks today for a Grande Vanille Latte and a big, fat slice of banana walnut bread. So. Very. Yum.

So here I am, right in the corner of my local Starbucks, sipping my latte, people-watching and eavesdropping.

My favorite thus far has to be the guy who, for what ever reason, had to sit at the table right beside mine. Even though there were probably 15 empty tables in the building. And he’s not having anything. He’s just sitting at the table, playing with his phone. Interesting. Seems to be a soldier, in full army fatigues. Maybe he’s waiting for someone to end their shift. Or maybe he’s waiting to meet someone. Who knows. But he proceeded for have a ten minute conversation on his phone in which he kept saying, “Oh, she went home already? Are you sure she went home already? That’s what she said, she went home already?” After about the eighth time of this, I almost looked over and went, “Look! She went home already! Deal with it!” But, you know, I thought that might be a little rude. So I didn’t.

Another fun one has to be the girl on crutches whose friends didn’t bother to get up and get her coffee order for her. They watched her struggle to get up, then once she did went, “Oh I guess I could have gotten that for you.”  *facepalms* Teens.

My final favorite was watching a lady come in, order a drink, then sit down and proceed to pay her bills. Then for each bill she paid, she’d rip the statement in half and throw it away. Don’t get me wrong, but that doesn’t seem like the safest way to protect yourself from identity theft. But, hey, maybe Starbucks trash cans have some sort of super-sonic-bill-destroyer-system in them.

Or maybe not.

This, folks, this is what that “pretentious person with laptop at the coffee shop” wonders. That’s deep, man. Deep.

Welcome to Friday, August 13, 2010. Yes, folks, its Friday the 13th.

So in honor of the day, a look at the number 13.

• Taylor Swift’s lucky number. [mtv]
• The first of the teens.
• A movie that came out on March 13 of this year. [imdb]
• If written too close together, can look like the letter B.
• A public media provider based out of New York City. [THIRTEEN]
• A chapter of bankruptcy in America that lets its filers reorganize their debts. [US Courts]
• Number or original colonies making up what became the United States of America. [Wikipedia]
• Comes after 12 and before 14.
• Number of players in a rugby league team. [Wikipedia]
• Number of cards in each suit of a deck of cards. [Wikipedia]
• Is a prime number.
• A bakers dozen. [Wikipedia]
• File that refers to a trash can. [Wikipedia]

There’s thirteen references to the number thirteen.

Do you have any fun 13 facts to share??

I have to admit. I totally stole this post idea from the Newlyweds Next Door. It’s called lack of inspiration, and I have it right now. So here goes:

1. Saturday night means ghost shows on Biography for me. I really have no interest in ever meeting a ghost, but I find these shows fascinating. A guilty pleasure. A cheap thrill. All of the above.

2. I want to pursue more writing towards faith and my religion. No, I don’t mean in this blog, so don’t anyone run away! LOL! I mean freelance writing. There are a lot of Catholic publishing papers, etc. that I want to approach and send queries for articles. I think that could be really rewarding for me.

3. I set up a Facebook Page for this blog. I’d love for you to “Like” me over there!

4. The artist my husband works for played an MDA Fundraiser today. This made me super happy! Labor Day is quickly approaching, which means the big MDA Telethon. I’ve been meaning to call the local MDA office and volunteer to help that day. Consider that officially on my “to do this week” list.

5. I’d like to share with you a picture of three of my most favorite people in the world:

Me with my parents and my husband.

6. My parents hooked me up with some new clothes this week. Me? Spoiled? Okay, maybe a little bit. hehehe! But, I have to admit, it’s really given me a boost. I don’t buy new clothes all that often, so when I get a few items, its fun. I noticed in my purchasing… I’m definitely growing up. I gravitated towards slightly more mature fashions. Guess I really am pushing 30, huh?

7. I’m determined to finish the book I am reading and get it reviewed this next week. The sad thing is that the book is less than 150 pages long. And I’ve had it for a month. Unacceptable level of reading being done by yours truly these days.

7.5. I read a LOT more Blogs than I’ve ever read before. Learning from my peers and loving it.

8. Confession: I am hooked on Big Brother 12. Along with Top Chef and Next Food Network Star.

9. Since I sent it to a friend this week, here is my recipe for Chicken Salad:

No exact measurements. Add everything to taste!

Bake chicken breasts seasoned with salt, pepper and poultry seasoning. I like to let it chill overnight, so plan this dish a day ahead of time. I find it easier to cut up the chicken, plus then the salad is definitely cold. Boil eggs, peel and then chill them as well. Chop the chicken and eggs. Mix those with mayo, sweet relish and pepper to taste. Serve!

10. I’ve seriously enjoyed having my parents visit this last week. I basically took vacation right along with them, and it has allowed me to really enjoy the time with them. I’m going to hate to see them head back to Texas soon, but I know work beckons for all of us. A bummer, but it also makes weeks like this last one possible. And for that, I am grateful! Always grateful to have any work.

As a kid, summer meant school was out, and thus it was always my favorite season back then. Today, though, I appreciate it for vastly different reasons.

I've got my flip flops on... Fall is without hesitation, my favorite season. But summer takes a close second.

First off, summer is a blessing and a curse being married to a musician. It’s a time when my husband is gone the most on the road, as summer equates to “the touring season.” So its a beautiful time of year that I’m left trying to find ways to entertain myself alone a good chunk of the time. However, its also the feast part of feast-or-famine, if you know what  I mean.

That being said, though, there is a magic to summer — whether you are alone or with your significant other — that will take you over if you let it.

I think that what summer pretty much equates to for me is a chance to relax. Even as I may be super busy with any number of things, summer just seems to bring this want and need to let it all go. Relax. The beauty of it is that even the most simple acts can equate to relaxation.

I was never “a boat person” until a couple of years ago. Which is when I discovered there is a lot of fun to be had sitting on a boat, just floating on a lake with friends. It gets you away from the computer, the traffic, and some of your responsibilities for a few hours. Its a chance to reset for awhile.

My husband and I don’t have a boat, so we’re at the mercy of our friends as to when we get to go out on the lake. However, it doesn’t stop us from packing up a picnic lunch and sitting out by lake for awhile. It’s not the same, but its close enough for me!

We enjoy taking drives through the country. Recently, I’ve noticed a major increase in the number of fireflies. At the drive-in theater that we went to last week, fireflies twinkled all through the air around us as we watched a movie and munched on popcorn. There’s something about fireflies that, even as an adult, makes me believe in magic. (Adds an element of romance as well!)

Summer sunsets are the best

The humidity recently has made the air thick and uncomfortable, chasing me indoors to my air conditioning. But then nights like tonight will come, when a gentle breeze feels almost cool in the summer heat. Crickets chirp a song of summer, one that lulls me to a deep relaxation.  I could sit for hours doing nothing but listening to nature, feeling the breeze, and smelling whatever scents come my way. Flowers in the garden or fresh cut grass. Perhaps someone just made barbecue.

Its all about letting that summer magic once again do its thing.

Growing up in Texas, summer always meant long strings of 100+ temperatures. Misery had a whole new definition on days like that. Yet as night fell, the warmth stayed but the sting of the sun’s rays disappeared. You’d be beckoned outside.

July 4th weekend called for watermelons on the back deck. Or we’d randomly go visit my grandparents who would sometimes be sitting outside in lawn chairs. We’d join them, and I’d enjoy it. But as a child I didn’t understand what I understand now. The summer heat’s misery, in those times, would give way to a little slice of heaven and peacefulness.

We’ve entered July, and we’re quickly marching towards summer’s peak. I’ve been guilty of letting work and technology steal some of summer’s magic away from me. I aim to correct that as much as possible. Enjoy summer. Let it bring its relaxing nature to me. I don’t want to look back this fall (as I did last fall) and ask myself where summer went. I don’t want to miss this.