Category Archives: humor

humor, ironic musings, lessons learned

Want vs Need

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I’ve learned hard over the last year the difference between want and need.

I need food. I want a new shirt. That sort of thing.

Well, today, I ran some errands, and then ended up at the store for a few groceries. As I walked into the store I thought to myself, “I haven’t bought myself something as a ‘treat’ in a long time. I think I’ll treat myself.”

But you know what? I couldn’t do it. Everything I picked up, I found myself going, “But I don’t NEED it.” and I’d put it back. I did this countless times  until I finally decided to go home. I did get myself a bottle of wine and a 98 cent bottle of nail polish. WOO. Those two items were the extent of my “want” purchases.

And really, don’t all my ladies agree… the bottle of wine is just right there at the edge of that “need” category.

Right?

And its warming up, and cute toes are a need if I’m to wear flip flops.

Right?

Oh in all seriousness, I know they’re technically wants, but when my “want” purchases only total about $5, I feel like I’ve truly been successful in remembering that the “needs” always trump the “wants.” I walked out of the store patting myself on the back for my self-restraint. Go me!

Then I stopped for an iced coffee on my way home. Because, after all, I needed it.

about-me, humor

I’m a little slow sometimes

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I have a college degree. I have a piece of paper that basically says, “I’m smart.” (Signed by Secretary of Defense Robert Gates, thank you very much.) But lets face it. I can be pretty slow sometimes, too. I make up for it by being really good at faking that I know what’s going on… I like to say I have my BS in BS.

In the last few weeks, though, I’ve had TWO instances of having lived years clueless and FINALLY figuring something out. Moments when the light bulb clicked on and I went, “Ohhhh!” to no one but myself.

The first was listening to the song, “Song of the South” by Alabama. I’ve lived in Nashville for over four years now. I’ve heard the song countless times in life and since I moved there.

I only JUST last week figured out what the line, “Papa got a job with the TVA” means. I’ll be honest, as a kid, I thought maybe it was, “Papa got a job with the TV, hey!” because TVA meant nothing to me. Then it hit me. Out of the blue. Ironically while I was laying on my bed in Texas. TVA… Tennessee Valley Authority. Where I get my electricity! DUH!

Then, when I was going through things to throw out in our move, I stumbled upon old journals from when I was a teenager. My journalism class in high school started, every day, with writing in a  journal. It was fun to go back and read what was important to me back then!

I stumbled upon the entry from when OJ Simpson trial finally ended. “The juice is loose.” I wrote. Because everyone else was saying it. I didn’t get it. I didn’t understand that line. All I knew was that was what headlines and reporters were using to kick off reports of his acquittal.

Yeah, about two days ago, when I wasn’t even thinking about anything other than if I had time to flatiron my hair, suddenly I said to my reflection, “Oh duh. OJ. Juice. The juice is loose. I’m slow.”

Please someone reassure me that I am not the only person who puts things together years later for NO REASON. Its like my subconscious mind was chewing on it. Like a piece of old gum. And suddenly it went, “Oh hey, this gum is peppermint flavored! Time to spit out and get a new piece.”

Yeah, its a cheesy analogy but its all I’ve got right now. I’m still exhausted from all these moments of sudden understanding. I’m a little slow sometimes. I admit it. But, hey, at least I entertain myself with it.