Musician's Widow

Due to Easter running right on the heels of Muster, my blog post is coming a few days late. I’ll be playing catch-up for a few days thanks to how busy its been lately. But, as always, I am thankful to be busy!

“If there is an A&M man within 100 miles of you, you are expected to get together, eat a little, and relive your days at the A&M College of Texas.” – 1923 Texas Aggie

You may be asking yourself, “What is Aggie Muster?” In the most basic of terms, its a memorial service for all Aggies who have passed away in the last year… a memorial service that is held all around the world (in more than 300 locations!) every April 21st. It’s held in restaurants and private homes. It’s held in large banquet halls and army barracks. The main Muster ceremony is held, of course, on campus in College Station, Texas.

As per the Association of Former Student’s Website:

Aggies gathered together on June 26, 1883, to live over again their college days, the victories and defeats won and lost upon the drill field and in the classroom. By April 21, 1903, this annual gathering evolved into a celebration of Texas Independence on San Jacinto Day. These early meetings included field games and banquets for Aggies to reflect and celebrate their memories of Aggieland. “Let every alumni answer a roll call,” wrote the Former Students. It was not until 1922, however, that April 21 became the official day of events for all Aggies; thus, the annual tradition of Muster was born.

By 1929, the meetings had spread worldwide, and in 1942 Aggie Muster gained international recognition. Twenty-five men, led by General George Moore ’08, Mustered during the Japanese siege of the Philippine island of Corregidor. Knowing that Muster might soon be called for them, these Aggies embodied the commitment, dedication, and friendship that is the essence of the Aggie Spirit. They risked their lives to honor their beliefs and values. That small group of Aggies on an outpost during World War II inspired what has developed into one of our greatest traditions.

Traditions. Anyone who knows anything at all about Texas A&M knows that we thrive on traditions. I’m proud of them all, but my two absolute favorite traditions are Aggie Muster and Silver Taps.

Think of Silver Taps as the smaller monthly version of Muster, where the memories of A&M undergraduate and graduate students who have passed away in the last month are remembered in a late night ceremony in the Academic Plaza.

From the Aggie Traditions Website:

Around 10:15 that night, the lights are extinguished and hymns chime from Albritton Tower. Students silently gather at the statue of Lawrence Sullivan Ross. At 10:30pm, the Ross Volunteer Firing Squad marches into the plaza and fires three rifle volleys. Buglers then play a special rendition of Silver Taps by Colonel Richard Dunn. Taps is played three times from the dome of the Academic Building: once to the north, south, and west. It is not played to the east because the sun will never rise on that Aggie again.

Campus Muster in 2002

Muster, however, honors current and former students. I remember attending my first Muster on campus, and I remember how tears filled my eyes as the roll call was read. I didn’t know any of the people personally. It didn’t matter. It was powerful and humbling. It was awe inspiring to know that some day MY name would be called.

While still living in Texas, even after graduation I made sure to attend the campus Muster every year. It was so important to me to be there. I took my now-husband to campus Muster one year as well, and he, too, was moved by it. I think it was that very night that he said himself that any children we have must attend A&M.

When I moved to Nashville, I made it a priority to attend the local Muster. I reached out to the only Aggie’s email I had, and ironically he happened to be Muster chair. I not only attended, I participated!

I’m not even sure how it happened, but the very next year was my first year to be Muster chair… and I’ve been it every year since. This year was my 4th year as Muster chair for the Middle Tennessee Texas A&M Club. This was the first year I wisened up and had a committee to help me… I have learned I can’t do it all and that sometimes it works best to let go a little and let others help out. I think it went a lot smoother this year because of that.

Honestly, the Association of Former Students guides the way of planning Muster. In that respect, its not that difficult. However, I want it to be good. I want it to be the best it can be. And it is in that want (and pride and love for Muster) that I find myself stressing out to the -nth degree.

I have learned, though, that you’ll never make everyone happy. SOMEONE will complain about something, and all I can do is look at the big picture. What will be best for the majority of the group, all while honoring the tradition.

Doing the War Hymn at Muster 2011

One of the coolest things about Mustering out of state is meeting so many wonderful Aggies. I’ve found many wonderful friendships I’d have never had otherwise — ironically many of them who were students the same time I was! We just never crossed paths back then!

I love meeting old Ags who have stories of days long before I got there (MANY before I was even born!). I love welcoming recent graduates who are just stepping foot out in the world.

I even love meeting the “significant others” of Aggies, especially those who are “Aggies by association” (like my husband). I teased one this year who attends the University of Tennessee. “Nobody’s perfect,” I said with a giggle and a twinkle in my eye. I wasn’t being serious, and I couldn’t have been happier to have them in attendance.

Two years ago, we actually had a Baylor Bear who just happened to be in Nashville that night attend our Muster, and they stood in silent respect as we called the roll. Even our rivals respect this tradition.

I am sure I drive many people crazy talking about Texas A&M and being an Aggie. I’m aware of that, and at times I feel a liiiiiittle guilty about it. But perhaps by taking a moment to explain Muster, maybe others will come to understand at least a little bit WHY I have such a pride for my University. It’s because of traditions such as Muster, and the way we all become a family when we become students… a family that helps one another, respects one another, and honors each other when we pass away. That’s pretty darn special, and that is something that can’t be denied.

Muster 2008

Roll Call for the Absent

In many lands and climes this April day
Proud sons of Texas A&M unite.
Our loyalty to country, school, we pray,
and seal our pact with bond of common might.

We live again those happy days of yore
on campus, field, in classroom, dorm, at drill
Fond memory brings a sigh — but nothing more;
Now we are men and life’s a greater thrill,

Before we part and go upon our way,
We pause to honor those we knew so well;
The old familiar faces we miss so much today
Left cherished recollections that time cannot dispel.

Softly call the Muster,
Let comrade answer, “Here!”
Their spirits hover ‘round us
As if to bring us cheer!

Mark them ‘present’ in our hearts.
We’ll meet some other day
There is no death, but life etern
For our old friends such as they!

by Dr. John Ashton ‘06

People may wonder why last night’s win (76 – 70 over Notre Dame) is such a huge deal to Aggies. National Championships are a big deal, sure. But for Aggies, this was bigger than normal.

This was school history being made right before our eyes.

This was our first trip to the Final Four. Then it was our first trip to the National Championship. Then… sure enough… it was our first National Championship Title (in Women’s Basketball).

As the confetti rained down, tears fell from the eyes of the players and fans alike. This win was momentous. This win put this team into the history and lore that is the very fiber of Texas A&M University. This win put the university into the national spotlight, put us where we’ve felt in our hearts we’ve belonged for years. The team just had to claw their way one game at a time to get there.

And they did. But here’s the tidbit of information that might be lost on many…

Texas A&M didn’t even let women attend until 1963. Not even 50 years ago, not a single one of these remarkable women in the spotlight today would have even been allowed to enroll in the university. That, in my mind, is a big deal. It makes this win all the more noteworthy.

Remarkable women… As I watched these young women stand on that stage and accept the trophy last night. As I watched them today at Reed Arena surrounded by thousands of Aggie faithful. I saw poise and respect and pride. I saw wonderful personalities and a sisterhood that comes around oh so rarely. I saw wonderful representatives of the university I love so dearly.

Congratulations, ladies. You worked hard to get where you are today. Oh I’ve seen snide comments by fans of that school just down the Brazos river… (which makes me sad, because Aggies have said they had a great team this year. One of the best in the nation for sure. And yet many of their fans refuse to acknowledge the same towards us.) but those comments are nothing. The fact of the matter is that you worked hard, believed in yourselves and your teammates, and played every game with a singular focus and huge hearts. It’s not luck that you are today the 2011 National Champions. Its hard earned.

Gig’em Ags!

My team won this weekend. 9 – 6 over Nebraska. I really wish I could bask in the glow of that win, but its been consistently tarnished left and right in various ways. So, I felt I should get this off my chest and off my mind. Forgive me if this is somewhat scattered… I NEVER do game commentaries. Too much passion follows them, and I hate how mean people can get. Sometimes I think talking football is worse than trying to talk politics or religion!

Texas A&M hasn’t had a decent season in years. We’ve not had a solid team and chance at ANYTHING since the 90s. And yet, I’ve stood behind them. All Aggies have stood behind them. I’ve been hassled about it by fans of other teams. (9 times out of 10 the hassler is a “fan,” not an honest to gosh former student, mind you. I find former students are usually more respectful. Mind you… I said usually.) I’ve worn my Aggie gear, and I’ve accepted our losses with frustration and glowed in our victories. Forgive me if I say it, but it’s about damn time we had a decent team and getting some recognition right along side the big dogs. Heck, the NCAA has ranked our schedule the toughest in the nation… and to have crawled our way up to 17 in the country is something I am going to be proud of having!! We did not work our way up into the rankings with ref help… which leads me to my next point.

There were bad calls in our game against Nebraska. There isn’t a single Aggie out there denying that fact. Did that last call for roughing the passer keep our drive alive? Yes it did. Was it a bad call? Yes it was. But just as the call kept our drive alive, it didn’t keep Nebraska from stopping us from field goal range again. It didn’t not leave enough time on the board for Nebraska to come back with a touchdown to still win it. There was not an Aggie out there that wasn’t holding their breath for the last 2 minutes of the game, praying our defense held once again.

The week before, I could throw the BS flag at several calls against us. It got to be where I joked that the Refs were wearing green underwear as they favored Baylor heavily. But at the end of the night, the refs are human. They call it as they see it at that time. And guess what… we STILL won the game. Bad calls and all.

Every game, you’re going to find bad calls or missed calls altogether. (I have seen countless games this season that have had “bad calls” have a direct effect on the score.) Its a component of the game for sure. But it isn’t all of it. And as A&M is slammed left and right that the refs won the game for us, I respond simply with, “There was still plenty of time in the span of the game for Nebraska to take it away. And yet they didn’t. And within that, we won.” Life hands you lemons… its what you make of those lemons the determines the outcome of things.

But, but, but… what about the video on YouTube? Yeahhh… that looks REALLY bad. But I’m also not going to crucify the whole team and Aggie nation (which is precisely what I see SO MANY people do). I’ve read countless rebuttals on that, and at the end of it all… only those guys in that pile know what was going on there.  And to quote my mom who quotes her dad: “Believe nothing you see and only half of what you hear.”  Meaning, we can analyze that video and all conclude something different. Until I hear something affirmative from somewhere, I’m going to treat that just as it is: a video that looks really bad on the Aggie player’s part.

Coach Pelini. Or perhaps I should really point out BOTH coach Pelinis, after the TexAgs camera debacle. I know a lot of Nebraska fans, and I know his/their actions are not accurate representations of the Cornhusker Nation. But if my child was thinking of going to play for him, I’d put a stop to that immediately. No one… NO ONE… deserves to be treated the way he treated his players and the refs. We all commented throughout the game that he was one curse word away from a heart attack or stroke. It was humorous to a degree, horrifying to another. His actions have out-shined our victory (and anything positive done on the Huskers side) 1000x over.  And maybe that was the point. I don’t know. But I am sad that as of Saturday night, I am no longer the least bit upset about Nebraska changing conferences.

On the other side of the ball, I could not have been prouder of the 12th Man. New record attendance at Kyle Field PLUS setting the record number of students at a college football game!? INCREDIBLE. I could feel the energy and excitement through the TV. I wished with all my heart that I could have been in those stands, singing the Way Hymn, waving my 12th Man towel, yelling every yell at the top of my lungs. The end shots of the Aggies all swaying arm and arm brought proud tears to my eyes.

From the outside looking in, you could never understand it. From the inside looking out, you could never explain it.  THAT was what that was for me. I could never explain it. Never in a million years. But it was powerful, and I was so proud.

Where do we go from here? I wish we could bask in the glow of the win, but between “controversy” and the fact that our next game in only days away… we can’t. We have to get our game faces right back on and turn our attention to Texas. A game that by records and rankings we should win with ease. But this is a game that will never be “easy” due to the passion it is played with. Throw out the record books, anything could happen.

Game Watching Party

When I first moved to Nashville four years ago, I found myself seeking out friendships. I had never been very good at meeting people. Believe it or not, I can count on one hand the people I met and “befriended” in college… and I’d have fingers left over. I had just never learned how to assert myself and meet new people (a trait that I thankfully have developed over time) and as such, I became good at being a loner.

My husband came with a built in group of friends who, thankfully, all accepted me with open arms. However, I craved people who understood my love of Texas. Who were from where I was from. Who could understand a part of me that I could never explain. I wanted my Aggies.

So, I sent an email to the only contact I could find on the local A&M club web-site. I asked about opportunities to get together with other Aggies, and to my delight an email came shorty later. There would be a football game watching party coming up that I was encouraged to attend.

Texas A&M was playing Oklahoma, and my husband was out of town on the road. I wanted to go and somehow relive the days of standing at Kyle Field rooting on my Aggies. So, despite having no clue where I was going, and this being pre-GPS days, I headed out that Saturday evening armed with nothing more than a map from MapQuest. I wasn’t even guaranteed I’d be able to call my husband for directions, and I didn’t have anyone else’s number yet. Nonetheless, nervous as can be, I went.

It was the only party I made it to that year, but it was wonderful. I was surrounded by Aggies again. I was surrounded by people who knew where I was from. Who understood my passion for my school. We, ironically, ended up at the same location as the Oklahoma alumni group, which I, personally, found to make it even more fun. I don’t think anyone else would agree with me of that, but I sure enjoyed it.

This weekend, Texas A&M will face Oklahoma again, and due to that first game watching party, this game always holds a little place in my heart as a favorite.

Unfortunately, I have been very disappointed and frustrated with this year’s game watching parties. I missed one due to not feeling well, but I’ve been to all the rest. We’ve never had more than four people at a party. Oh don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy these people and I think they’d be the people I’d sit with even if we had a huge group attend. But, it gets disheartening to try to put a party together only to not have anyone show up.

Being deep in SEC territory, we have to work to find a location that will show our game without pushing us out mid-game for another game. (Its happened before.) Evening games means finding a venue that doesn’t have live music at night. We like to keep it family-friendly, which usually means venues that close early. We’ve really had to juggle to find locations that will work, and this week I really wanted to throw in the towel. I was just fed up and done with the parties due to the (perceived) lack of interest.

Then I remembered my first game watching party and how much it meant to me. And I thought to myself, “What if there is a new Aggie here who is where I was four years ago? What if our party could be their chance to reach out to people from home?”

So this weekend, we will gather again. Probably three of us will be there. But we will gather and we will enjoy the evening. I’ll be glad we got together. I always am. It doesn’t matter if its two Aggies or twenty, its a touch of back home for an evening. I appreciate it and love it.

Arkansas State Fair

This last weekend, I road tripped to Little Rock, Arkansas to see my husband do a show at the Arkansas State Fair.  (It’s half-way to my parent’s house in Texas, so it worked beautifully to break that drive up.) My Texas A&M Aggies lost to the Arkansas Razorbacks the night before the show, so there was just a touch of wounded pride for me as I crossed the state line.

During the show, the artist my husband works for mentioned how cool Arkansas’s Hog Call is, and the call was done twice through the course of the show, lead by one of the band members.

The Aggie in me was somewhat grudgingly going, “Rubbing salt in the wound!” But in reality, I had to admit… it was pretty dang cool to hear so many people doing the call:

Woooooooo. Pig. Sooie!
Woooooooo. Pig. Sooie!
Woooooooo. Pig. Sooie!
Razorbacks!

Truth be told, it reminded me a LOT of any of Texas A&M’s yells, and I too got wrapped up in the fun, watching in amazement from side-stage.

I couldn’t help but remember back eight years when I attended a concert in Waco, Texas, at the Heart of Texas Fair to see my friend (who would later become my husband) perform. Texas A&M just happened to be playing Baylor the next day, and, as is tradition, we would be holding Midnight Yell practice in the town of the game… which happened to be Waco. To further the irony, they opted to hold it at the fair right after the concert.

I watched the band clear their gear off the stage and promptly get stuck… they could NOT leave because of the hundreds of Aggies that had descended upon the venue. They wouldn’t be leaving until after the Yell Practice.

The artist my husband worked for ended up running to get a video camera to tape the fun and craziness of Yell Practice as the Yell Leaders took over the stage. It was so much fun to watch my friend, his boss, and his co-workers stare at the crowd in amazement… it was their turn to be entertained by this collegiate pride that shook the roof and swayed arm-in-arm.

We all go to concerts for entertainment… to see a great show. But these musicians and artists go state to state being just as amazed and entertained by the traditions and fun of the various areas. This weekend, I myself was blown away by the Pig Sooie Hog Call. Eight years ago, I was among those amazing the entertainment with Midnight Yell.

It’s a give and take with the entertainment world… they give us their all, and as fans we should give them our all right back.

This morning, as my husband and I were on a nice drive through the country, a car started to tailgate us. My husband commented that they needed to back off, and we were frustrated at how they were driving. It’s not like we could do anything on a two lane road with a car in front of us, but still the girl stayed right on our back bumper.

We turned; she turned. We stopped at a stop sign, then went when it was clear. She, however, cruised right through it behind us. We finally opened up to a four-lane and were glad she’d be passing. She didn’t get in any hurry to pass, though. We were slowing down to enter a parking lot when she finally cruised past.

That was when I saw it. Right there in the middle of her back window. A Longhorn sticker.

I have a Former Student sticker for Texas A&M on my back window.

*sigh*

This is not the first time I’ve had a Longhorn tailgate me (which is amusing considering that I’ve never been known to be “slow.”) I’ve had a Longhorn heckle me in bumper to bumper traffic through an open window. When in college, I even had someone try to run me off the road, flashing a horns symbol at me as I tried not to go into the ditch and hit a road sign.

At the heart of it all, these events scare me even more than they anger me.

Seriously, I am the first to say Texas is a good school. I respect the school and the education people get there. The rivalry, for me, generally exists on the field. And as I said in a previous entry, I’ve always viewed that particular rivalry as one that has an undertone of respect (unlike other rivalries).

Sadly, you do have those on both sides that fail to remember that, and therein lies my fear. Its to those people, I plead… no matter what, keep it off the highway. A school rivalry is NOT worth someone’s life — be it you, your rival or an innocent bystander. We all put stickers on our vehicles to personalize them, to show allegiance to our schools, organizations, businesses, politics, etc. They are not there to be used as a target. Don’t tailgate, heckle, cut-off, or try to sideswipe someone because of their school allegiance. That’s dangerous and has potential consequences that are bigger than any rivalry.

So to the young woman who chose to tailgate us on the way home… grow up. We’re not even in Texas. We’re not playing today. I have nothing against you personally. I actually respect your school (just not the actions of people like, well, you.) And, at the end of it all, my vehicle is over twice as big as yours. If you had rear ended us in a sudden stop situation, I would have gotten out of my truck and run over to see if you were okay.

Then (assuming you were) I’d slap you upside the head for hurting my truck. Because, really, that would piss me off. A lot. A lot more than any rivalry. Because seriously… this crap does not belong on the highway. Leave it on the football field. ‘Kay?

Kay.

Thanks.