Musician's Widow

I still remember my dad doing tax returns out of our living room when I was a kid. He had a full-time job during the day, but would do returns in the evenings between January and April 15th.

As the years passed, the living room office turned into a separate building, and the full-time job for both Mom and Dad became the family business. By the time I was in high school, I was used to having them able to attend countless events due to the flexibility of self-employment. However, in the same breath, I coined myself the term “Tax Season Orphan” as through tax season, I was used to their putting in long hours at work.

I would help out at the office regularly. Sometimes filing. Sometimes shredding papers. Sometimes data input. Sometimes just running errands. I could really truthfully say I’ve worked at the office since high school, its just been a bit sporadic.

I swore I wouldn’t do anything dealing with math, and my love for writing sent me to a Journalism degree. I worked at a newspaper for a year and a half, and, of course, I’ve married and moved to Nashville. Nonetheless, I have continued to help out using my degree for advertising, designing the web-site, etc.

Last year, I spent most of tax season in Texas working at the family business. My husband and I joked that it was my turn to be on the road for work, like he usually is doing his job. I would spend three weeks in Texas, one week in Nashville, and then do it all over again. All the way through tax season.

It worked out nicely! My parents didn’t have to hire and train a new employee, and I was happy to have the work. So, it was pretty much a no-brainer to do it again this year.

Today was my first day in the office for this tax season.

My husband and I drove down to Texas last week, as he has a show in Houston anyway. I was able to come see him at work for the show, and we got to spend a few extra days together going into the season.

He left back for Nashville yesterday, and I teased him that he was a Tax Season Widower.

It is what it is, and we’re good at the long-distance thing. For the next three months, I’m the Musician’s Widow married to the Tax Season Widower. We’re a pair, aren’t we? I think the time apart makes us appreciate our time together all the more… and that makes me grateful.

So here we go! Most of my time in Texas, with trips to Nashville in between. Let the “Tax Season Shuffle” begin!

If I had time and ability to write a blog entry every time one came to me, this blog would be updated about five times a day versus once a week at best. This realization truly frustrates me and makes me realize that I need to MAKE time to write more often.

Time is money they say.

Words are cheap others say.

These opposing ideals are what seem to be holding me back. And this must change.

Recent topic ideas: new discoveries in my city (I finally visiting the Bluebird Cafe and fell in love with it just as I feared I would), family coming to visit (my brother will never know how much it meant to me to have him and his family come up this summer), roots and wings, and anniversaries of important events.

Perhaps I will go back and revisit some of these topics at another time. But for tonight, I lament the fact that I’ve let these words expire as time flew past. And I realize once again that the dreams I dream mean I need to marry those two old cliches.

Time is money. Words take time. And in my case. Words are money. And every word I write. Every sentence I compose. They all lead me down the path to my dreams of writing for a living.

"Drive Dunk, Get Nailed" cars are popping up around Nashville...

This week has been one for the record books for me. Simply due to how “different” it really was from beginning to end.

Many probably don’t know that I work at a hot dog stand in a bar in downtown Nashville for extra money. It’s a fun job and I get to listen to amazing live music, have a drink if I want one, and meet all kinds of interesting people. Not a bad day at work!

However, the week was kicked off with a strange Sunday in which the downtown in general was just dead. Not even Broadway could boast much of a “crowd.” And adding to the strange quiet of downtown, our full band didn’t start until midnight! Ultimately, I think those of us working agreed that we should have just closed early and cut our losses. Surely Monday would be better.

Monday, however, simply upped the strange factor.

A torrential downpour left my husband and I doing 20 mph on the Interstate as debris from trees swirled through the air, and our ability to see ahead of us was diminished down to a few feet. Once the storm cleared and we were able to go again at a normal pace, a woman in an SUV pulled out in front of us. She merged onto the Interstate, crossed two lanes into our lane, doing maybe 40 while we were going 70. It was physically impossible for us to slow fast enough to not rear end her, and I’m still thankful the next lane over was empty and we could swerve around her. Its not the first time that’s happened on a Nashville interstate to us (apparently checking to see if a lane is clear is not necessary, and turn signals don’t come standard on vehicles here) but it never ceases to leave my heart pounding wildly.

That evening’s highlight was getting to have dinner with my husband at his lodge meeting before going to work. THAT was a treat. Work, however, was simply bizarre again. Downtown was once again pretty much dead, but the city’s homeless were moving around a lot.

The night ended with a homeless woman rushing into the bar demanding that I call 9-1-1, because “he’s laying on the steps bleeding! He’s all beat up!” The woman said she and this man had only been in Nashville three days. However, she could not tell us who or where “he” was. My husband went with her to look, but came up with no one.

About half an hour later, the lady came back hysterical again to call 9-1-1. This time, my husband and the lead singer of our night’s entertainment went with her together to hunt for her friend. They did find the man this time, looking like he’d been beaten up and passed out in an alley.  My husband called for help, and soon three police cars, firetrucks and an ambulance appeared to help the man. I do hope the man and woman are all right, but I also hope to not go through that scavenger hunt again any time soon.

Things looked up come Tuesday. My husband sold a piece of gear and a roadcase he’d been trying to sell for awhile. I got the oil changed in my truck for a better price than I had anticipated it costing. And we arrived downtown for my husband to play the late shift to discover a music video being filmed outside the bar. The bonus was that I got asked to be an extra in the video! Definitely not your typical night out! Everyone has their list of things they want to do someday. A deep secret dream of mine has been to be in a music video. Now I can say I have!

Wednesday was gloriously normal. Thursday, I flew to Texas for a visit with my family. My husband jumped in a tour bus and headed north to Iowa and Wisconsin. Definitely a case of our going opposite directions! Not the first time. Nor will it be the last. (I can’t leave out that Thursday was also the day that Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson both passed away, leaving the news world spinning as well.)

Now, I’ve lived in Nashville just shy of three years, and in that time my ability to handle cold weather has gotten better, and my ability to handle hot weather has diminished. So not only was my Friday swim date with my nephew and niece a priceless period of time with my two favorite kids in this world, but it was a nice reprieve from the 100+ temps!

To round out the week came Saturday. I had tickets, thanks to a friend, to see a Texas artist do a show in Waco. However, I was not aware it was an outdoor show until the night before. My parents and I went, but ended up not staying. The heat was just too much for all of us. (I suppose on my part, it also doesn’t help that I’ve admittedly gotten a bit spoiled to having a cool tour bus to hide out in at outdoor shows when I go see my husband play a show!) The inside of the club was reserved for VIP ticket holders, and with General Admission tickets we couldn’t go inside. So without reprieve from the heat, we left not long after the music had started.

Strange for me to not stay for a concert! But this year’s summer in Texas is setting record highs… and I suppose that in and of itself tops out a very different week for me. One for the books.

Or atleast for this blog.

When I was in high school and college, I used to joke that I was “a tax season orphan.” Today, my husband could rightfully call himself “a tax season widower.”

My parents have owned their own bookkeeping and tax preparation business for over 20 years. It’s perhaps pretty obvious and natural that I’d work for them through the years, and despite the fact that I majored in Journalism (and my passion lies in the arts) I continue to work the family business. And I truly do enjoy the work I do for them. It can really be a lot of fun!

The last few years, my work time has been focused on that final push of the season. The time when we have people in and out of the office constantly, and the time when the most returns are being completed a day. This year, I’ve alternated three weeks in Texas, one/two weeks in Nashville, then back to Texas another three weeks. I arrived back this last weekend to finish out the season.

Meanwhile, I am actively planning Muster for the Middle-Tennessee A&M Club. Everything, so far, seems to be falling into place beautifully. Which, I admit, makes me a little nervous. When it all falls together this well, I don’t feel as prepared for any “disasters” that could occur the day-of the event. Then again, I feel like I’m getting really good at planning things, so maybe its falling together just because its becoming old-hat to me? Who knows. Nonetheless, I am VERY excited for it all. I so love the tradition of Muster. It is without a doubt my favorite tradition of them all.

Easter is approaching!! I’m excited Craig will be down to spend it with us. THAT will make the day complete. Counting down for it, for sure.

The warmer temperatures of Spring are already making me itch for Summer. Actually, I wouldn’t mind skipping Spring just to avoid the tornado outbreaks that have already begun. I may have grown up dealing with them, but I will never be used to it. How can you be? They’re terrifying, how random they are.

But as I said, summer is approaching and that means… Craig will be on road a majority of the time. I get home in time for him to head out for work. That’s just the way it lands… bummer! We’ll make the most of our time as we have it, of course. We always say that we appreciate our time together more due to all the time apart, and we most definitely do. We don’t LIKE being apart as much as we are, but we make it work. It’s just the way our life rolls.

And honestly… I love my life. More than I can say.

I last wrote in this blog right after the inauguration, when the country’s optimism was high and hope was the feeling in the air. I still stand by my belief that optimism and hope are something we needed and still need. However, with unemployment rates at 1983 levels and home foreclosures happening just down the street on almost every street in America, optimism is hard to find again, and hope seems like a childish feeling in the face of the economy’s harsh reality.

I’ve not written in here in awhile because I’ve been “on the road for work” myself. I’ve been in Texas working with my parents through tax season. I’m grateful for the work, and I honestly enjoy it! It’s at times like this that I wish more than ever I could move Arkansas and Louisiana and bring Texas and Tennessee a lot closer together!!

Working with people’s taxes, I’m amazed how the economy’s downward spiral is a lot like a tornado. Hitting this house and that house, but not touching this other one over here. For every few people that are struggling — praying for a large refund to get through for awhile longer — there’s that random person who is thriving. Their company is growing or they’ve just been able to more effectively manage their money. That random person who is proud of their success, but sometimes I get a sense that there’s this underlying feeling of guilt to be thriving as others struggle.

Personally, I see those people who are thriving as those beacons of hope that we all still need. Hope is not childish or naive. Faith is not a lack of realism. Fear is to be expected. Worry runs rampant today. But I, personally, choose to use all of them together. Worry and fear to feed my desire to keep fighting. Hope and faith give me the determination and ability to win.

38 more days until April 15, 2009

I’ve spent a lot of time with some “newbie” “musician’s widows” as of late. It is indeed tour season, and many of “our men” are out on the road livin’ the dream. They talk about the time apart and how hard it is. I end up just nodding along… been there, done that. I will do it again. Preaching to the choir here. Preaching to the choir.

As I always tell them to remember… it’s always that first day or two that are the hardest. ESPECIALLY when its an extra long run, as they tend to be in the summer. You feel the void more than ever. Good-byes always are hard. But you do eventually get into a routine of your own, and time passes relatively quickly. It especially helps when you have friends you can see in the time he is gone.

I’m not really leaving that life these days so much. I’m getting used to having my husband at home! I’m downright spoiled, in fact, by having him here.

However, he also has his CDL and he co-drives whenever he’s out on the road. This weekend, he is helping a friend out by co-driving for Montel Williams (of all people!). It’s a short run for him, but it gave me a taste of “the life” again for a few days. I have so much work to do these days that this time has passed quickly, and he’ll be home tomorrow evening.

We’re embarking on a new endeavor that could prove to change our lives dramatically. It already is in a way, and we’re welcoming the challenge with excitement. I will possibly be posting about it more at a later date, but until that time… we just keep on keepin’ on.