Valentine’s memories

Oh Valentines Day… A day people either love or hate. For me… It’s one that makes a lot of memories through the years.

I remember in high school, the parade of girls called to the office to see flowers sent by their boyfriends. My first taste of the day feeling like it was more about showing off to your friends than being shown love by someone.

My first concert ever was on Valentine’s Day. Bryan White headlined in 1997 in Waco, Texas. I’m serious when I say this Valentines was a pivotal one In my life. It lead to my going to Fan Fair that year, which made me fall in love with Nashville. It lead to me meeting the people who would eventually lead me to meeting my husband.

One of the first times I ever got flowers in general was on Valentine’s Day from a guy thanking me for being his friend. He became my husband years later.

In 2006, I was struck with an abscessed tooth on Valentine’s Day. It lead to years of extensive dental work (still a work in a progress) that gave me a new smile and a new confidence I never thought I needed.

Valentine’s lands during tax season, so I’m usually in Texas. As such, it’s been five years since I spent the day with my husband. But every year he’s sent me flowers. At work. And I gotta admit… I love, love, love it.

Flying right now to Nashville and I am all kinds of excited to spend this evening with my husband. Love him with all my heart, and I can’t wait to just curl up on the couch together with Netflix and our cats.

I confess… I asked for flowers again. Because I just love getting flowers. Never thought I’d be that girl, but I am.

And yes… Yes there will be pictures. Consider it me parading to the office to see my flowers and show off to everyone else.

Roses

Five on Friday :: Feb. 13, 2015

fiveonfriday2015

Oh hey, hey, its Friday the 13th!  Let the fun begin…

1. I made these this week for Valentine’s day:

redvelvetcookiesThey were amazing. Oreo Red Velvet Cookies, dipped in vanilla goodness, with red and pink lip candies. Oh my gosh, so good.

2. I made these for National Pizza Day:

pizzas'I used Portobello Mushroom caps instead of dough. Scrape out the gills and snap off whats left of the stem. Then just used pizza sauce and layered in yummies — this time just pepperoni, olives and mozzarella cheese — and baked at 375* for 15 minutes.

3. I discovered Vivian Maier yesterday… this woman’s amazing photography reminded me what I love about photography. I’ve gotten sucked into focusing on making money doing it. I’ve forgotten what its like to just go take pictures in normal every day life.  I miss it. I need to get back to that.

4. I’m flying back to Nashville tomorrow for Valentine’s Day. It’ll be the first one I’ve spent with my husband in a few years! But I’ve jam packed into the time I am home a LOT of stuff. A big thing is making sure this benefit goes off without a hitch:

Drenon Benefit

I can’t wait for this night of love and support for dear friends.

5. Last Sunday, I got together with two women who mean more to me than I could ever tell them. PicMonkey Collage

 Camera@Low

Have a great week, everyone!

#WomensLives :: Positive drowning out the negative

I’ve learned more and more recently that there is a serious strength in numbers, and I find myself spending a majority of my time online chatting in one Facebook group or another.

One group that I am extremely proud and honored to be a part of is Road Widows. We are the wives (fiances, long-time girlfriends, etc.) of men who play music or work as crew guys on the road. My husband being a touring musician is what spurred the name of THIS blog, and Road Widows just expounds on it. We use the name much like there are “golf widows” and “hunting widows.” (A legitimate use of the word “widow” from the dictionary!!) We are happily married, but we’ve also learned how to manage everything on our own.

roadwidowsbanner

The women who participate and draw strength from our group inspire me, and they keep me wanting to keep the group going. The women who come to us in the dark days — the days they aren’t sure they can stand by their man any more as he travels the country (or the world!) for work — and suddenly no longer feel lonely and find the way to push through the darkness.

Now, there is a little irony in the timing of what happened this week, as we (the writers for the Road Widows blog) had just decided to migrate from a Facebook page (public) to a private group where all the women could talk freely and openly without fear of judgement or attack. Where they can talk fans, fears and loneliness. We’ve all grown so busy that getting together in person has become a juggle, so perhaps instead of dishing over margaritas and tacos, we can dish in our down time online.

The very day we announced the creation of the private group, we dealt with what I can only describe as an Internet Bully. A troll, perhaps. But for me, it was a classic bully.

…this is the most ignorant thing i’ve ever seen/ heard of in my life… they wrote

please, do your doomed selves a HUGE favor, and quit considering yourselves as being the victim. You are your own worst enemy. 

My head was spinning.

This page is an insult to touring musicians…

Okay now I was angry.

The post was quickly followed by a barrage of comments from what I assume are friends of the original poster supporting their point of view and further hammering nails into my heart.

I was angry. I wanted to sob my heart out. I wanted to scream at these people and call them names. (Okay, I totally did just that to my poor husband who became my sounding board.) This group I am so passionate about and love deeply was being insulted and attacked viciously. Why? Because they saw the word “widow” and took it very, very literally.

They didn’t bother to read any of our posts. They didn’t bother to read the many words of thanks from women all across the country who felt relief to find other women living the same lifestyle they were. And in a round about way, they were telling us to shut up.

Instead, I took a deep breath and tried to take the high road. My fellow contributors did the same. We responded as tactfully as possible, but we also didn’t lie down and just take it. Nor did we ignore it. Eventually, our followers started to chime in and the tide began to turn. The love and support began to drown out the negative words.

This page brought me help when I struggled hardest…

Yes! This! I swear if I wrote a mission statement for our group it would be to do just that.

I think it’s great to have a safe place to look and see that we are not the only crazy ones that have chosen this lifestyle.

And of course there is that, too.

I find great support and understanding in this page. I genuine thank you for creating it and being proud of it enough to share it.

We aren’t sure when or why the original post was deleted. I only have the text from having saved it prior to it being deleted. I like to think the positive completely drowned out the negative.  I like to think that the fact that we didn’t shut up but instead stood up for ourselves was an unexpected reaction.

Together we are stronger when we lift each other up. And this amazing, amazing group of women did just that this week and continue to do so every day. We are strong. We are confident. We are incredible.

How have you handled people in the past that decided to judge and critique you without bothering to know you? Did you have a support system to “have your back” in such a case?

#womenslives#WomensLives is a media partnership between Public Radio International (PRI) and SheKnows Media, BlogHer‘s parent company, aiming to change the portrayal and coverage of women in media. I felt our standing up for ourselves fell right in line with this initiative. 

In 1 Week, Hundreds of Women Stood Up to Change the News. You Can, Too.

The wife of a touring musician tells it like she sees it…

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