Musician’s Widow

I’ve decided to start a new weekly post, called “Making it happen Monday.” Each week, I am going to either do an update on what I am doing to make my goals happen, or perhaps look at what others are doing. Either way, I hope the posts will be inspiration for others while being motivation for me.

I jump started this week by finally putting together a binder (My “Little Black Book of Blogging” as I decided to call it.) for organizing my blog and, by extension, my life. Each week I can now plan out blog posts, work days, bills due and a detailed to do list that might not get done that week but things that need to be on my radar. It’ll also help me stay focused even on days we decide to just go out for the day, be it on the bike or for a drive or whatever. I know what I need to do ahead of time, so it can get done.

I’ve tried to do something similar on my phone, synched to my computer. However, for me, there are just some things I need to write down versus type. I still see a need to paper and pen. Call me old fashioned, I don’t care. Its what works for me. It’s what keeps me honest and on track.

In my binder, I added some awesome downloads I scored from Alli Worthington. These came at the most perfect time for me. I am setting out on this path, feeling certain I know what I need to do, but scared of going off track.

Its not success I fear, its serious failure. It’s fear of letting myself and others down. And these downloads are already helping me find clarity and build my path as I go.

I’m SO excited, so ready to leap without fear of failure.  This is the heart of “Making it happen Monday.”

Being entirely selfish with today’s post…

Happy Mother’s Day to all the Moms out there… hats off to you and all you do.

I have a very self-serving dream. I dream of having amazing nails.

Silly, perhaps? But I want that. SO bad. I want pretty nails. Not chipped up, split, sad things that I normally have.

My hair has always been my appearance obsession. It still is, but not to the degree it used to be. I’m really happy with the short cut I keep today, so I don’t find myself focusing on it as much as I once did. Now my focus is my nails.

Oh I’m all about pedicures and cute toe nails. Its one thing I maintain just fine, you just never see them. Boots and tennis shoes don’t exactly show off the cute polish I always have on my toes. So suddenly my focus is on my finger nails. Blame Pinterest, perhaps. I don’t know.

I’ve never been one to go get professional manicures, and I’ve only had tips put on once for my senior prom. I wear contacts and for some reason long nails hinder my taking my contacts out. Its a personal issue, I know, and a really dumb thing given how many women have long nails and wear contacts. But suffice to say, I’m never going to have super long nails.

But I want my short nails to look good nonetheless! I used to hate painting my nails. I felt colored fingernails were distracting and didn’t look right on me. (Even as I’d admire it on other women.) Somewhere in the last year, that’s changed. I want color on my nails. I want to show them off.

However, bartending just makes it pointless. I paint my nails. I go to work. I come home with chipped nails, split nails, and atleast once a month I have a finger wrapped in a band-aid because I cut myself one way or another.

I’m pitiful! Oh and don’t tell me to try these “chip-free” or “long-lasting” polishes. I’ve tried them all.  (Now, I’ve not done the gel polish thing, because I’m afraid spending the money and still not last.) None of them have stood the test of slinging beer and mixing drinks at a fast pace.

So for now… I accept that on my days off I’ll keep nice-as-I-can nails, and then on work days accept it won’t last. Some day I’ll have cute nails. Someday.

There’s something I’ve been very guilty of over the last few years. I’ve become very reactive to things in life. Something happens. I deal with it. We move on. Keep on keepin’ on. Not necessarily backsliding in any way, but not taking big strides forward either.

I’ve mentioned in various posts lately that I’ve been in a cleaning mood, and cleaning moods usually equates life changes. Positive life changes.

So here I am also realizing that those changes can’t happen without effort from me. Just cleaning out my closet and hauling clothes to Goodwill isn’t going to be enough! It’s like the joke about people in a flood declining help from helicopters and boats while sitting on their roof, because “God will save me!” Then when they die and get to heaven, they ask God why he didn’t help and he said, “I sent you a boat and a helicopter!” You can’t just expect God to make things happen without doing a little work yourself.

Here’s what’s interesting. As soon as I decided I wanted to again be proactive chasing my dreams, and doing what I want to do career-wise, things started rolling without my trying too hard. It’s almost like it was all sitting there just waiting for me to make my mind up to go for it 100%.

First, I had an absolutely awesome photoshoot with Joseph Reed. He and his wife are amazing people that I already consider friends. I haven’t laughed that much during a shoot… ever. It just made me go, “This! This is what I want to do MORE of… gotta make that happen.”

Second, a new invigoration has come to RoadWidows. And you know what’s the coolest thing about this new push? Discovering how much of a drive both Chris and Lindsy have for it and their work ethics in general. Their focus is contagious, and they make me want to work harder. Work with more focus. They’re driven, focused and successful women. Just the type  I want to be associated with more and more.

Third, an old friend that I’d lost touch with over the last couple of years reached out to me, and we got together for dinner and drinks earlier this week. The refreshing things about her are that she has no association with the music business, she’s a successful business woman, and she’s a big fan of what I dream of doing and AM doing. Her encouragement has been yet another a kick in the butt.

Finally, I only need one word: FAMILY. My parents are patient with me. And Thank God for that!!! They know I’ll come into my own in my own time, and they’re supportive and encouraging. My husband and I had a long conversation this week about being proactive in BOTH our careers, and its invigorated us. We’re each other’s biggest fans and cheerleaders. So with my family behind me, how can I not throw myself into it all with a renewed vigor?

I’m excited. I’m terrified. I’m ready. SO ready.

C’mon future. Let’s do this.

It’s been awhile since I did a #DrinkUpLinkUp… Today, I feature something I tried a couple weeks ago already: Sea Dog Wild Blueberry.

I love wheat beer. It’s my go-to beer. I especially love fruit wheat beers. So, when I saw Sea Dog Wild Blueberry on a menu, I got excited that it would be delicious.

I wasn’t a big fan. I did have two bottles in hopes I’d like it better the second time. I didn’t.

And I hate that! Its an award winning beer! (2008, Gold Fruit Beer San Diego County Fair; 2007, 2008, 2009 Bronze Fruit Beer Australian Brewers Festival; 2007, 1st Place Fruit Beer California Brewers Festival; 2007, Silver Fruit Beer World Beer Championships) Reading other review sites, its a much-loved beer with beer lovers. Maybe I just had TOO high of an expectation. However, it isn’t one I’m going to seek out again in the future.

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Ever notice its easy to give people advice, but its difficult to give yourself that advice? To me, that’s the fundamental basis of gossip… we’re always judge, jury and therapist for everyone else, to their face or behind their back.

But even when our own lives are a little off kilter — be it a big issue or a tiny one — it can be really hard to see it, much less know how to fix it! And while everyone else is judging what we should do, we just keep going the way we’re going… unable to give ourselves the same advice we’d be happy to give someone else.

Sometimes, though, life has a way of putting a mirror in front of your face. As you listen to someone vent about an issue they are dealing with, you start to hear your own voice instead. Their rant becomes the one you’ve heard in your own head, but just ignored… shushed, unwilling to give it any sort of power. Suddenly, as you feel compelled to give the other person advice, you realize that maybe, just maybe, you should be listening yourself.

Life has a funny way of putting a mirror in front of your face at just the right time. The challenge, though, is to look into that mirror, to REALLY look in it, and do what you need to do to fix what you see.