Tag Archives: success

lessons learned

Can’t do it all

Piercing gazeI know I write a lot about being super busy these days, but that’s because I am! There are times when I sit and do absolutely nothing, but I’m not sure what to start doing first. And as such, things get done right at deadline because suddenly that one thing has to take precedence.

But being as busy as I have been, I’ve learned two lessons:

1) It’s okay to say “No.” I’ve actually gotten better about it here and there. NO, I can’t plan this event. NO, I can’t attend this function. NO, I just can’t afford to do it. I feel guilty for a little while after saying “No” to something, but then I get this feeling of relief. Relief I’m not being held to do something I don’t have time to do. Relief I’ve not added yet one more thing to my to do list. And relief that the vast majority of the time the other person understands and appreciates my honesty.

2) I’m going to make SOMEONE mad. This is something I hate more than saying no to something. I hate making anyone mad. I’m a peace keeper. I like making other people happy. I’m a positive force, with a goal of making others feel positive. But sometimes… sometimes you’re going to disappoint someone. Sometimes you’re going to make someone angry. And you can’t let it ruin your day. You have to just learn from it.

In my most recent case, lesson two could have been avoided by doing the first lesson. It’s not so much I agreed to do something as I never came out and said “No” to doing it. And as such, conflict occurred. I’m willing to take the blame to the point of saying, “I should have say ‘No’ firmly and clearly.” But anything past that? I CAN’T accept blame for in any way.

Being busy is a blessing. I love having stuff to do. I love having goals and tasks, even if I get overwhelmed and lose sleep over things. In the end, it all is worth it and I feel GREAT over a job well done. But sometimes, its okay to say, “I can’t do it all.” It’s okay to say, “No.” Because in the end, admitting honestly you’re human, you make mistakes, and you can’t be in multiple places at once can be just as satisfying and relieving as being successful in a task.

Making it happen Monday

Making it Happen Monday: Stop comparing yourself to others

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I recently got to hang out with three good friends. One I’ve know since kindergarten, one since fifth grade, and one since college. These are friendships that have lasted years, miles, and many changes and trials in life. I’ve learned from them. I’ve laughed with them. I’m sure there are tears that have been shed as well.

Meet Lindsey, Brandy and Ana…

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What you might see here from your viewpoint are three women having a good time together. I see many years of memories and oodles and oodles of success. I caught myself at one point comparing myself to them.

Epic fail. Epic.

See, what you also are looking at there is a journalist and two assistant district attorneys. And then there’s me behind the camera… A fledgling photographer, blogger and bartender. At one point, I sat in silence listening to them talk cases and news reports from the Houston, TX area, and I found myself feeling very much the underachiever. For longer than I care to admit, I had a great big huge pity party. Who was I really kidding? I’m nowhere near as successful as these three women!

I’ll be honest, it wasn’t until the next day that I pulled myself out of it.

I started to remember all the things I have in my “bag of tricks.” I started to remember that my life is pretty unique… and I remembered how a friend once told my husband he’d give his entire savings account to be on the Grand Ole Opry stage one time. I remembered how many amazing, amazing people I’ve met, some backstage the Opry!

I remembered how I head up my alumni club in Nashville. How I’m an active member of an organization that raises money for CASA. I remembered that people love my photography, and I’m only just starting to grow that.

I remembered that I am a damn good bartender (dammit, I am!), and I can just as easily rock a desk job. I have both creative ability as well as logical.

I have an amazing husband, loving family and more friends than I can count.

Success is not measured on some measuring stick that we all have to live up to. I might not be using my journalism degree per se, and I don’t put bad guys in jail. But I’m a successful women in my own right. It’s just different from the other girls.

I admire my friends, and I am so very proud of them!! I can not, though, compare myself to them. It’s not fair to me… nor to them. We are all unique, and it’s in that individuality that we can only strive to be better.

Mathew McConaughey gave an awesome speech when he won the Academy Award for Best Actor this year in which he said the person he chases is himself, 10 years in the future. I loved that. It really fit where my mindset was that night. I can’t chase success based on what others have done. I can only chase success based on what I have done, can do and will do.