Miserable, but not

Yesterday, I woke up and went, “Oh no. I have a sinus infection.”

See, I’ve had enough of them through the years that I can tell you when I have one without going to the doctor for a diagnosis. I just know. My biggest tip off is that horrible smell I get from it, combined with the constant need to blow my nose.

Landing plugged one ear to the point of my wanting to sob from the pain. I mean, not even those ear plugs made for flying helped. It was like someone took an ice pick and jammed it in my ear.

Luckily, I’ve already been able to open it back up, but my nose is still a source of misery for me. The smell. The constant need to try to clear it out. The pressure.

I’m miserable.

But I’m not miserable. It’s not laid me up. Oh, its wearing on me, and I get tired pretty quick. And I am staying on Ibuprofen and Sudafed pretty steady. But otherwise, you’d never know I had anything wrong. It’s so strange!

My neti pot is my best friend right now. I’m using it multiple times a day in an attempt to fight this infection off without having to get antibiotics. I suspect I’ll end up finding a doctor somewhere to give me an antibiotic eventually, but I want to try to fight this on my own. At least TRY.

So far, it does seem to be helping. My medicine actually wore off two hours ago, and I’m still doing “okay.” A bit tired, but okay. Hopefully its a sign of things improving…

Hopefully.

Leading life, or being led by life?

I didn’t get to post the last two days, and today I write from an airplane. Again.

The last couple of years, when anyone would ask, “How’s it going?” I would often reply with some explanation about how I’m just desperately trying to keep up with life.

As the wife of a musician, I have to be prepared for plans to change on a moment’s notice. A last minute show added, or another show canceled. (Seriously why I chose January as when we got married… its about the only time I knew we could plan it without some show popping up!)  However, I just got out of hand! We were working ourselves to death, and slipping further and further behind. We were drowning in life… life that we just wanted to try to “keep up” with.

This year, though, we are working hard to lead our own life. We are still very flexible, but we are better at standing firm on various things. Prioritize everything. Less being led around by bills and more by goals.

That being said… holy smokes two crazy days this week!!

Monday, we helped friends move into their new home. I am so glad we could be there to help, and I am even more happy to have them in town now.

We got home late, exhausted but happy to see friends setting out on an exciting new adventure… chasing their dreams, too.

Yesterday… I can’t even begin to talk about how crazy the day was. I had gone to bed with a check list in my head of things to do before I flew back out again. I got the two most important things done (because I put my foot down and refused to let life lead me from them being done) but past that… no go. It was a very weird day, but ultimately it was productive.

It’s a struggle to balance leading your life and letting it lead you. Yesterday was a huge test of that! I refuse to fall back into our old routine of just running around chasing life. I am determined to maintain some level of control in things. I think you have to… or you lose yourself. And that is the worst thing you can possibly lose.