Musician's Widow

Everyone is volunteering to help flood victims. Distributing water. Donating clothing. Donating money. Helping people rip out things from their flooded homes. Opening homes to strangers in need of a place to stay…

I wanted to find a place to help out, preferably somewhere that would allow me to use my talents.

A friend posted on her Facebook page that she was starting work to plan a benefit concert to raise money to help flood victims. I’d worked with the friend before on fundraisers, and I definitely wanted to help her again.

So last Wednesday, eight of us gathered in a house in Nashville to plan out this benefit concert that my friend had already set far into motion. Dividing up the work, bouncing ideas off one another. Some good ideas. Some not so good ideas. But by the end of the night, we had a solid game plan formed.

Joe Diffie, Lee Roy Parnell, Billy Dean, Lee Brice, Jeremy McComb and Jerrod Niemann are among artists scheduled to perform.

On May 17th, music fans are encouraged to join us at Limelight in downtown Nashville for a night of great music, good times, and a chance to raise money for several great organizations who are working hard to help flood victims.

Our lineup includes performances by:  Rick Huckaby, Glen Templeton, Melanie Martel, Jared Ashley, Chad Warrix, Jeremy McComb, Lee Brice, Jerrod Niemann, Billy Dean, Lee Roy Parnell, Joe Diffie

Doors will open at 5:00 pm, and the music starts at 5:30. A $10 donation will be taken at the door to benefit the Nashville Red Cross. Silent Auction (which includes donated items from the Nashville Predators, Tennessee Titans, Marriott, area salons, Atlanta Braves, area restaurants, George Strait autographed guitar, and much more) and sale of t-shirts and koozies to benefit Salvation Army, Nashville Humane Association, and Happy Tails Humane.

In addition to the donations and the sale of shirts, etc. we will be taking item donations for all the organizations. The needs of each are as follows:

Nashville Humane Association is asking for:

• Dry Dog Food and Cat Food
• Small Size, Joy or Dawn Dish Liquid
• Kitten Food
• Puppy Food
• Cat Litter and Litter Pans
• Animal Toys
• Food Bowls
• Leashes, Collars
• Carriers/Kennels

Salvation Army is asking guests to bring:

• Cases of Bottled Water
• NEW socks, underwear, and t-shirts
• Hygiene kits
• Supplies for clean-up kits which include: mop, broom, work gloves, mask, sponge, rubber gloves, bleach, all-purpose cleaner, trash bags, and paper towels

Happy Tails is asking guests to bring:

• small blankets for crates
• Pillow Cases
• Towels

As many know, the music community was hit hard by this flood, just as many families. Millions of dollars in gear were lost when Soundcheck, where many musicians store their gear, was among the businesses underwater. The photos and stories coming out of there are heartbreaking, and they personally make my stomach turn. Unfortunately, many of the musicians did not carry insurance on their gear, and are left with  no where to turn.

At this benefit, 5% of all bar sales will benefit musicians affected by the flooding of Soundcheck storage facility.

We encourage everyone to come out and show their support.

To anyone outside of Nashville wishing to support the cause, you may have heard you can text “REDCROSS” to 90999 to donate $10 to the Red Cross. However, perhaps you are like me… I can’t do $10 more on my cell phone bill. It’s a budget thing for me. I know what my bill is going to be, and when it wavers… it throws me off big time. But, I can donate otherwise! (Or perhaps $10 just isn’t in your budget, but you can do $5. Or $10 isn’t as much as you want to donate, and texting 10 times to donate $100 is just a pain.)

We have set up a Post Office box to accept donations for our charties. Pick one of our charities you’d like to support (Nashville Red Cross, Salvation Army, Nashville Humane Association, or Happy Tails Humane) and mail a check in THE CHARITY’S NAME to:

BANDing TOGETHER
P.O. Box 23474
Nashville, TN 37202-3474

I assure you, none of the donated money will go anywhere other than the charity you make your check out to… these will be delivered directly to charity. For any new information as it becomes available, visit our Facebook event page, and please spread the word! It’ll be one AMAZING night.

This last weekend, I went to two shows to spend the weekend with my husband. He had shows in Katy, TX and then Poteet, TX — about three hours apart from each other — and a no-brainer for me to attend.

Now, before I continue with my story, two things I want to note:

1) No, I don’t “go on the road with the band.” I get that question a lot, and the short and simple answer is, “No.” Now, I know there ARE some acts that do take musician’s wives on the road with them, atleast here and there. However, I’ve not really done it myself.

I’ve hitched a ride on the bus twice. Once when I needed to go to Texas and my husband had a show close to my destination. So instead of flying, the artist he was with at the time allowed me to catch a ride with them down. Then another time I caught a ride to Nashville from Texas. I did get to go to Hawaii for a week with my husband on a gig,too. But past that, if I am at a show, its because I’ve taken myself there, and I’m taking myself back home.

2) This is the second time I’ve done a “two show weekend” to see my husband. Only the last time was about six years ago, and we weren’t even flirting with dating. Ironically, the travel time between those two shows was almost twice the time between the shows this last weekend.

So all that said, back to my story. I went to the show in Katy, and it was the first time I’d seen my husband in a month. I was beyond excited, and I made sure to enjoy every minute of the weekend.

A bonus of the trip is the fact that I genuinely really just love the group my husband is with right now. So I was also excited to get to hang out with these guys that I consider friends myself, and the really cool thing? They were SO aware and accommodating of the fact that my husband and I hadn’t seen each other in so long. A fact that did not go unnoticed and unappreciated.

At the show that first night, I was standing side stage, and when the band was introduced, I was introduced right along with my husband! It’s happened about three times now, and its not something I ever expect to have happen. In fact the first time, I turned bright red (we had JUST gotten engaged that time) and almost ran out of the showroom! I didn’t know how to react! This time, when I was told to, “Wave to the crowd!” I did with a giggle and… what can I say?? It was REALLY COOL!! REALLY cool. I am pretty sure I was beaming. LOL! How can you NOT be blown away by that and get, well, a thrill?

After the show, some fans went and got all the band members to sign a t-shirt… and they asked ME to sign it. “We’ll make you famous too!” they said.

I declined at first, but at their insistence, I signed below my husband’s signature. Bizarre much? Yeah. Definitely. And absolutely something I’m amused about, but let’s face it. I’m certainly not going to let it go to my head, and at the end of the day the only person I care to get recognition from is my husband. I’m his biggest fan, and I have this wonderful fulfillment knowing he’s mine.

THAT is all that matters.

I love Nashville. I really do. Its become my home, and I lovingly refer to it as “my city.”

However, it has a high failure rate in one location.

Texas Music concerts.

Which, really, it makes sense for Texas Music to not fit in Nashville. I mean, Nashville isn’t in Texas, which is a big problem right there! And a big part of the charm of the Texas Music scene is that its not polished. It’s not clean like the Nashville sound. It’s a little more rock-and-roll, whereas I think Nashville leans a little more towards to pop-sound to morph its Country sound here and there.

Jason Boland & Cody Canada

Just going and being at a Texas Music concert in Texas is a big part of the fun. You have your hardcore rednecks. You have your bitchy girlie-girls. You have your drunk guy who’s going to probably spill his beer on you at some point in the night. It’s elbow to elbow and you can hardly stir the crowd with a stick. You have to get there at least an hour to two hours before showtime if you want to be even remotely close to the stage. You’re probably going to have the urge to cuss at least ten people out at some point.

But you’re ultimately surrounded by people who GET it. Who are passionate about the music. Who know the words to all the band’s cover songs, new songs, old songs, and who are going to know exactly when to participate and when to sit back and take it all in.

Going to see a Texas Music group in Nashville is missing a good chunk of what makes the experience so incredible. It’s fun to see all the Texans (and a few from Oklahoma!) in Nashville come out. Often sporting either their University’s colors (There’s usually some fun Big XII trash talk going on.) or their favorite old Cross Canadian Ragweed t-shirt. There’s a buzz in the air, but its diluted. It’s level of rowdiness is no where near that found “back home.” No one sings the words of the songs OVER the artist. In a lot of ways, its impossible to explain how or why. It’s just not the same.

Eli Young Band @ HLSR

I went last week to see Eli Young Band at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. I’ve seen the band several times in Nashville, and every time been blown away by their show. But I’ve been severely let down by the audience. That night at the show in Houston, I was amazed. AMAZED.

In that huge rodeo arena, where everyone was spread out. You could STILL hear the fans singing OVER the band. You still had your rednecks and your bitchy girlie girls. But more than anything, you had that passion of the people who GET it.

Since that night, I’ve been listening to my favorite Texas artists, reliving in my mind the many shows I’ve seen with friends. Laughing at memories of them. Wishing I could be at one of those shows in that very  moment. Wanting to show my husband what it was all about. Wanting to call my girlfriends and tell them to saddle up and let’s go! It’s showtime!

Oh, I still get excited to know a Texas Music artist is in Nashville, and I’ll try to make the show. However, if I miss it, its not that big of a deal. Because I know that I’ll ultimately leave the show feeling a little unfulfilled. The music and the artist will be great, but the audience just won’t be what I’ve come to know and expect. Chances are, I’ll even leave early. I’d rather save up and make the trip “back home” to see a show. Because I know it is then and there that I’ll truly get my money’s worth.

PS – Nashville, I still love you! But no one is perfect.

Two nights ago, my husband played at Big Valley Jamboree in Camrose, Alberta, Canada. This in and of itself is pretty mundane. Tonight, though, its noteworthy as today a storm hit the festival and the main stage collapsed. As of right now, one has been confirmed with 60 others hurt. Billy Currington was finishing his set when it happened.

When I heard the news, I was literally in shock for a moment. Because on certain levels you really think it just can’t… won’t… happen.

How many times has my husband told me about their being in tornado watches and warnings. Trying to outrun storms in the bus. Etc. And every time they seem to get out unscathed. You slowly start to build this feeling of invincibility. Then… it does happen. The storm hits. And even though my husband wasn’t there tonight, it still hit far too close to home. It could have very easily been him scrambling off that stage. I had to hear his voice after wards.

Beyond that, though, the music community (especially the Nashville music community) really is like a family. Think of it kind of like a family tree, with all these little families making it up. And a branch of that tree suffered a very close call tonight. I worry for them all out there, and I send a prayer up that they all make it back home to their families safely every run.

Sidebar: I also find myself thinking about gear and equipment. This would have been a good time to be using backline, no? haha  Not a time to laugh, but I admit, the thought crossed my mind. For musicians, their equipment is their livelihood… its like a computer is to a data entry specialist. They need it to do their jobs. Stage collapse can spell being sidelined in your line of work if your equipment is damaged in the event.

Like me, I’m sure there was that element of belief in everyone affected today that it just can’t happen. I guess this proved… it can and does happen. You just never know…

Article on the event:  http://www.edmontonsun.com/news/alberta/2009/08/01/10337516.html

July 4, 2009

My  husband had a show this July 4th only four hours away from Nashville in Rogersville, TN. My parents are visiting from Texas, and so we made the trip to see him play. East Tennessee is absolutely beautiful, so it was a treat to make the drive out, and its always fun to see a show!

After a fantastic concert, we settled in to watch the fireworks. I was about to sit down on my lounge chair backstage when a man standing at the barricade asked me to come over. My initial thought was, “Oh no…” already anticipating a request for an autograph.

Now, I don’t make promises that I could even remotely fill such a request… especially since generally such a request is frowned upon. Or at least it always has been with past artists. My husband is still the “new guy” and I don’t want to make waves. So it was definitely with trepidation that I approached him.

Within moments of walking up, I was handed a military ID, and told that he had just gotten back from Afghanistan and would be returning in 28 days. He’d traveled himself from Nashville specifically hoping to meet Joe Diffie (whom my husband works for). He asked if I could possibly make that happen.

I paused a bit, but I decided the least I could do is try. So I headed towards the bus… not entirely sure what to do. I was saved when I saw the tour manager coming at me.

So, starting with, “please don’t hate me…” I explained the situation. And much to my pleasant surprise, he said he’d ask Joe! While I waited, two women approached me asking if Joe would be doing an autograph session after the show, then asking who I was, etc. I was, quite frankly, blind sided by them… and it is also people like these two women that make me hesitant to speak with show attendees. Its questions being shot at me rapid fire that will fluster me, and in turn irritate.

I was TICKLED when the tour manager came off the bus to say that Joe definitely wanted to talk to the man, and I lead him over and introduced them.

Over the course of about the next hour, I had the opportunity to interact with the soldier several times, learning he was originally from Texas — attended my rival school of University of Texas — and that he had come home on leave with many injuries. Shrapnel in his leg, a broken finger, bite wounds on his hand, etc. The fireworks freaked him out (understandably so!) but his kids loved it.

Finally, when he met Joe, he told several stories of things he had experienced while in Afghanistan. And afterwards, he came over and thanked me profusely for taking him seriously and making it happen that he got to meet Joe.  He hugged me several times and gave me a kiss on the cheek (telling my husband that if he pointed out that he’d just kissed an Aggie they’d tussle right there!), and all I could keep saying was, “No… thank YOU for all you do.”

The experience of meeting this soldier was a highlight of my July 4th. Getting to thank a soldier… we should all have the opportunity to do that. They are the true heroes.