Musician's Widow

I had a whole different blog post planned tonight. I want to speak on the good that has come out of this flood. But now I feel compelled to instead attack head on hateful words I’ve read tonight.

I was born and raised in Texas. I will forever be a Texan in my heart. I love the state deeply. It’s more than a state… its a state of mind. However, I have truly grown to love Nashville just as deeply as I love Texas. Nashville is more than just a city. Its the people that make it so special.

All that being said, I was alarmed when a friend informed me she had read hateful posts aimed at Nashville on a Texas Artist’s Facebook page after that artist had sent out love to the city. Before I could look up the post, I ran into the same thing on yet another Texas Artist’s page!

I am literally sitting here stung.

There is a definite difference between the Texas Music scene and what you would call the Nashville Country Music scene. And I happen to be someone who likes both, and who has criticized elements of both in the same breath.

My husband is in the music industry, and to say I’ve grown jaded of it would be an understatement. But at the end of the day, I absolutely love it and I wouldn’t trade my life and the craziness of the music industry.

I wonder how many Texans know that on any given night in this city, you can find any style of music you want being performed live. We have rock bars, blues bars, jazz bars. We even have karaoke bars (groan). I wonder how many know that ALL types of music consider the Grand Ole Opry hallowed ground because of its history in music in general. I wonder how many realize that what they hear on the radio is perhaps only 2% of the music available in Nashville.

There is so much about this city that you have to come visit and experience in person to understand.

And the biggest thing within it is simply the people. We’re not all perfect, and you’ll run into your person who is in a bad mood or has a bad attitude, but on a whole the city is a friendly and open city. Yet at the same time, its a small community. It’s the strangest thing and it took me forever to wrap my brain around it! I am more likely to run into someone I know at the mall here than I am to run into someone I know at the store back in my small hometown in Texas. Nashville is the biggest small town you’ll ever experience. I even know some of the homeless by name, and I know if I were ever in danger they’d come to my rescue. How does that happen!?

As a teaser to my next blog post, I heard a story the other day about someone going out to help the homeless (who have also been displaced by the flood). Only they couldn’t find them… because the homeless were helping others themselves!

I’ve said it several times lately, but I mean it.  I have been humbled by this city more times in the last few days than I could ever describe. The giving spirit has been stunning. So while this city has humbled me…

…people in my own home state have stunned me with their hateful words towards Nashville. I know so many Texans in Nashville, and I am sure they would all be just as hurt as I am by words such as, “I feel bad for any folks dealing with the wrath of mother nature but…yes the Nashville sound sucks so bad God is trying to wash away the grand ol’ opry and hopefully CMT too!” or “Nashville can shove it! Stay Texas true!!“

I always thought that Texans were proud of their country and held themselves to a high standard. Yes, I read many rebuttals to these posts and others like them. People chastising these words, and standing up for Nashville.

“Feeling sorry for the city and the people of NASHVILLE and the destruction they are dealing with has nothing to do with OUR Texas artists and their music. Have a heart you losers. ‘True’ Texans know & understand the difference!“

I truly believe that last statement, but sadly its the ones that spew such hate that make the biggest impact. It is their statements that will give Texas a black-eye for a long time to come.  Their slaps leave a mark, and as a Texan I think the mark left on my emotions runs deeper than it does on others.

Please, Texas Music Fans, realize that this is about people’s lives. This is about caring about our fellow man, woman and child. This is about caring about our fellow Americans. Please take a moment to realize that before you confuse it or combine it strictly with what kind of music you like.

Anyone wishing to help can donate the the Nashville Red Cross by visiting www.nashvilleredcross.org/donate

I love Nashville. I really do. Its become my home, and I lovingly refer to it as “my city.”

However, it has a high failure rate in one location.

Texas Music concerts.

Which, really, it makes sense for Texas Music to not fit in Nashville. I mean, Nashville isn’t in Texas, which is a big problem right there! And a big part of the charm of the Texas Music scene is that its not polished. It’s not clean like the Nashville sound. It’s a little more rock-and-roll, whereas I think Nashville leans a little more towards to pop-sound to morph its Country sound here and there.

Jason Boland & Cody Canada

Just going and being at a Texas Music concert in Texas is a big part of the fun. You have your hardcore rednecks. You have your bitchy girlie-girls. You have your drunk guy who’s going to probably spill his beer on you at some point in the night. It’s elbow to elbow and you can hardly stir the crowd with a stick. You have to get there at least an hour to two hours before showtime if you want to be even remotely close to the stage. You’re probably going to have the urge to cuss at least ten people out at some point.

But you’re ultimately surrounded by people who GET it. Who are passionate about the music. Who know the words to all the band’s cover songs, new songs, old songs, and who are going to know exactly when to participate and when to sit back and take it all in.

Going to see a Texas Music group in Nashville is missing a good chunk of what makes the experience so incredible. It’s fun to see all the Texans (and a few from Oklahoma!) in Nashville come out. Often sporting either their University’s colors (There’s usually some fun Big XII trash talk going on.) or their favorite old Cross Canadian Ragweed t-shirt. There’s a buzz in the air, but its diluted. It’s level of rowdiness is no where near that found “back home.” No one sings the words of the songs OVER the artist. In a lot of ways, its impossible to explain how or why. It’s just not the same.

Eli Young Band @ HLSR

I went last week to see Eli Young Band at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. I’ve seen the band several times in Nashville, and every time been blown away by their show. But I’ve been severely let down by the audience. That night at the show in Houston, I was amazed. AMAZED.

In that huge rodeo arena, where everyone was spread out. You could STILL hear the fans singing OVER the band. You still had your rednecks and your bitchy girlie girls. But more than anything, you had that passion of the people who GET it.

Since that night, I’ve been listening to my favorite Texas artists, reliving in my mind the many shows I’ve seen with friends. Laughing at memories of them. Wishing I could be at one of those shows in that very  moment. Wanting to show my husband what it was all about. Wanting to call my girlfriends and tell them to saddle up and let’s go! It’s showtime!

Oh, I still get excited to know a Texas Music artist is in Nashville, and I’ll try to make the show. However, if I miss it, its not that big of a deal. Because I know that I’ll ultimately leave the show feeling a little unfulfilled. The music and the artist will be great, but the audience just won’t be what I’ve come to know and expect. Chances are, I’ll even leave early. I’d rather save up and make the trip “back home” to see a show. Because I know it is then and there that I’ll truly get my money’s worth.

PS – Nashville, I still love you! But no one is perfect.

I was born and raised in Texas, but I call Nashville, Tennessee home now. However, from January – April, I spend more time in Texas than in Tennessee.

See, my parents own and operate a bookkeeping and income tax preparation service. I’ve worked for them off and on for over ten years, and in the past couple of years we’ve realized something. They need the help during tax season, and its the time of year that my husband and I desperately need one of us working more steadily. So, instead of them hiring someone else that they’d have to train, and instead of me finding some part-time temp work, we discover a win-win situation for us all.

Win-win outside of the fact that I am away from home for weeks at a time. We joke that its the time of year in which I go on the road for work. Its work that I do honestly enjoy. There’s a nice familiarity to it, and it is kind of fun! (Besides, how can you not be grateful for the opportunity to spend quality time with your parents?)

Then come summer, its my husband who goes on the road for work for days — occasionally weeks — at a time. He’ll be off doing his job which is a huge part of who he is. Music is, I think, actually part of his genetic make-up! It’s that much a part of him.

Needless to say, within all of this, we’re good at being apart. Doesn’t mean we LIKE it. It just means we’re not going to fall apart being apart.

So here I am, writing from home. Nashville-home. Wishing I could make these next few hours stretch and lengthen. Tomorrow, I head back to Texas to finish out tax season, and I won’t be back home for over a month. Luckily, my husband’s job will bring him within a few hours of me in a few weeks, so I’ll at least get to spend a little while with him before I go home. I’ll be looking forward to that more than anyone knows.

See, as cheesy as the line has become thanks to a certain movie, we really do complete each other. It’s why we’re married and best friends! We both have an extra spring in our step when we’re together. To quote a card my husband gave me when I came home last week: “Good things are twice as fun… Bad things are only half as bad.”

That being said, I am left sitting here pondering the fact that both locations are places I consider “home.” One being where my roots are. The other being where I am laying new roots. Both places have their own rhythm. Both places have elements that I love. Both places have elements I dislike. But in the end… they’re both a part of me.

So every time I fly from one location to another, I feel excited and happy. I also feel an element of sadness to be leaving wherever I am leaving — be it Texas or Nashville. It’s a strange feeling. A strange place to be in. And yet its nice. Nice to have two places to call home.

Home is where the is love. And the more love a person has, the better off they are. Because its more valuable than gold. More precious than diamonds. It’s home.

I heard an article yesterday that a college in Massachusetts is now accepting YouTube videos of students applying for admission.

An excerpt from the story:

“We’re not judging it on the qualities of the production values,” says Lee Coffin, dean of admissions at Tufts. “We’re not looking for Oscar-winning short films. What we’re really hoping to get out of these videos is another part of the puzzles that make up this 17-year-old person.”

I’m glad I didn’t have this kind of pressure on my shoulders when I applied to college!  However, I can’t help but sit and wonder what I’d have done as a video when I was 17. Who I am today and who I was twelve a few years ago are two different people! However, in the same breath, my core values haven’t changed one bit.

First and foremost, I would have to introduce my family. It’s changed some since I was 17. My niece and my husband have both been added to the family since then. More love to go around! I have without a doubt been blessed with the most amazing family. A family that is supportive and loving. A family that laughs together and leans on each other. A family that I can always rely on to be there for me. And one that I will always been here for… they are truly the people who mold me more than anything else.

My faith would also be at the top of the list. My faith and the hope and strength God gives to me is a huge part of who I am. I am not someone who will wear my faith on my sleeve, but I also will not deny it. I will not hold back how much I do lean on it to get me through trials in life.

My faith is stronger today than it was back then.

Home would have to be introduced. Back then, I would have focused on my hometown, and my love for wide open fields and back roads. Today, I would have to show that, but I would also have to put a heavy focus on my city. I absolutely love Nashville and its vibe. I love its melting pot of people, and the wonderful friends I’ve made there.

My school would have to be acknowledged. Back then, high school and the pride I had in my school then. Today, being an Aggie is a bigger part of who I am than anyone could ever understand or truly respect. Digs against my school could very will be considered a dig against me personally. My school is more than its football team. My school is a family in and of itself. I could never ask anyone to understand. All I ever ask is to for it to be respected.

Finally, lots of little quirks make me who I am. Back then, things like yearbook, newspaper, band, flags, CDs and my pick up truck would be who I would introduce. Today, writing, photography, travel, my cats, my home, and a good home-cooked meal would probably be what I add to the mix.

Come to think of it, there would be absolutely no way for me to capture all the things that make me who I am in a way that would be true to myself. I suspect many of those applying for admission are realizing that fact, and are instead taking the catchy route. Sometimes its easier to entertain than it is to study yourself.

But at 17 — heck at ANY age — its not a bad idea to do just that. Take time to consider what it is that makes you who you are, and a step beyond that… how do you portray that to the world?

I still remember my dad doing tax returns out of our living room when I was a kid. He had a full-time job during the day, but would do returns in the evenings between January and April 15th.

As the years passed, the living room office turned into a separate building, and the full-time job for both Mom and Dad became the family business. By the time I was in high school, I was used to having them able to attend countless events due to the flexibility of self-employment. However, in the same breath, I coined myself the term “Tax Season Orphan” as through tax season, I was used to their putting in long hours at work.

I would help out at the office regularly. Sometimes filing. Sometimes shredding papers. Sometimes data input. Sometimes just running errands. I could really truthfully say I’ve worked at the office since high school, its just been a bit sporadic.

I swore I wouldn’t do anything dealing with math, and my love for writing sent me to a Journalism degree. I worked at a newspaper for a year and a half, and, of course, I’ve married and moved to Nashville. Nonetheless, I have continued to help out using my degree for advertising, designing the web-site, etc.

Last year, I spent most of tax season in Texas working at the family business. My husband and I joked that it was my turn to be on the road for work, like he usually is doing his job. I would spend three weeks in Texas, one week in Nashville, and then do it all over again. All the way through tax season.

It worked out nicely! My parents didn’t have to hire and train a new employee, and I was happy to have the work. So, it was pretty much a no-brainer to do it again this year.

Today was my first day in the office for this tax season.

My husband and I drove down to Texas last week, as he has a show in Houston anyway. I was able to come see him at work for the show, and we got to spend a few extra days together going into the season.

He left back for Nashville yesterday, and I teased him that he was a Tax Season Widower.

It is what it is, and we’re good at the long-distance thing. For the next three months, I’m the Musician’s Widow married to the Tax Season Widower. We’re a pair, aren’t we? I think the time apart makes us appreciate our time together all the more… and that makes me grateful.

So here we go! Most of my time in Texas, with trips to Nashville in between. Let the “Tax Season Shuffle” begin!

November was once a month I would become downright GIDDY about arriving for the simple fact that it meant my birthday was near. Today? I look at my November calendar and all I see is… a lot going on!

November Birthdays

First and foremost is definitely BIRTHDAYS! My friend, Anne, has her birthday on the 5th. I’m right behind her on the 10th. My husband is the 19th, and my Mom’s is on the 22nd! Not to mention the countless other friends whose birthdays land this month… I think if we tried to have one big joint birthday party we’d have to have two full size sheet cakes to fit all the names!

Right there with birthdays, I can’t forget Anniversaries. My brother and sister-in-law got married on the 11th (14 years!) and our friend’s Brian and Kristen got married on the 19th (4 years!).

Important holidays: Veterans Day (11th) and Thanksgiving (26th). And of course we can’t forget National Deviled Egg Day (today!), Pack Your Mom Lunch Day (15th), and Stay At Home Because You’re Well Day (30th). (For more of these days, visit this list on About.com.)

Among these days, I am participating in NaNoWriMo. I’ve mentioned this before, but now its begun. I’m glad to say that as of right now, I am right on target to do this. Ask me again in a week how I’m doing. Then again, don’t ask. I’ll tell you on my own soon, I am sure.

On November 9th, I end my very first Project 365. In one way, I will be really glad to see it come to an end. In another, I’m sad to see it end, and I am trying to come up with my own project to replace it. I might continue on with it, but give it some sort of twist. I don’t know for sure yet. I have 8 days to decide. I’ll let you know what I decide then.

10 Years Later...

November 18th is the 10 year anniversary of the Aggie Bonfire collapse. You can rest assured I’ll have a full entry that day about it, but it is yet another anniversary that lands in this month.

In another sad memory, 10 years ago my brother was in an auto accident (on my birthday) that certainly changed my driving habits, what I drive, and without a doubt made me stop taking mine and my family and friend’s safety for granted.

Finally, big games to be played by Aggies this month. They will face Colorado, Oklahoma, Baylor and Texas this month. The Texas is back ON Thanksgiving, where it rightfully belongs. Again… that’s another entry for a later date.

Lots going on this month! I just hope I can keep up!

My core group from high school... all grown up.

After counting down to my 10-year class reunion, it is only right that I write about the actual reunion.

I flew into Texas on Wednesday night prior to my reunion. I had planned to attend the Homecoming football game, but much needed rain set into Central Texas this week and… well… there’s an amazing thing about being 10 years out of high school:

Sitting in the rain at your high school’s football game isn’t as high of a priority as it once was.

I drove by the stadium to find my Yoemen winning and see that the stands were actually fairly full. Then I went to visit my brother and his family for the evening.

The next day, Saturday, was the reunion. There was a class picnic in the morning in which classmates could bring their children out the play and mingle. However, as someone who lives on a musician’s schedule (i.e. going to bed around 4 or 5, getting up at noon) making a morning picnic was… well… it didn’t happen. I got up at noon.

My core group of girl friends came over to my parent’s house prior to the reunion to have a small baby shower for one of my friends who is pregnant (and expecting in November… a good month, in my opinion. hehe) I was REALLY glad to have that time, just the five of us, to catch up before going to the full-class gathering. Even though we’ve actually successfully gotten together a hand-full of times in the last few years, it was still nice to reconnect and catch up.

The two classmates I've known the longest... I'm happy to have this picture now. I've known both close to 25 years. Crazy.

We headed out, in the rain, to our reunion together. We all tried to guess how many of our classmates would be there. I felt the number would be fairly low, but we actually had a really good turn out! I would guess that just shy of half our class came out. (Keep in mind, my class was right around 100 people.)

Here is what is the coolest thing about the whole night: we all seemed to be on an even slate. It was rather comforting to watch how the same groups of people still hung out with one another. Like the group I was with most were the same people I ran with through high school. However, there was none of the cliche high school cliques any more. I found myself floating between groups easily…

And that in and of itself is something I found had changed about ME. I couldn’t sit still for long. I had the need and urge to meander around. People watch from other angles. Talk to various people. Dance. Join in on rounds of shots. If I could name the number one change about me from high school: I’m not as shy as I was back then. Its something I, with all honesty, credit my husband with making happen, and I am so grateful for it.

Facebook took a lot of the mystery out of the night ahead of time. Most of my classmate’s spouses I recognized from pictures they have posted online. Many of us also knew exactly what we are all doing today. Nonetheless, it didn’t make it any less amazing to listen to people speak of their spouses and/or their children. I quickly came to realize that seeing someone in a photo is nothing like seeing them in person. Nothing like getting a taste of their personality today.

Many toasts were said through the course of the night. Most humorous. Some serious. Here's to the Class of 1999. I love you guys!

Most of my classmates haven’t changed much, only getting better with time. A few I had to almost smile with how they’ve really not changed at all, as certain traits from back then shined right through the changes in looks that age brings.

Speaking of which, there was a lot of comfort in the fact that name tags were not necessary at our reunion, as classmates were easily recognized. A few people I saw I’d, in all honesty, completely forgotten about, but I was pleased to recognize.

There were classmates missing that I had wished would be there. It would have been wonderful to catch up with them. But work, finances, and miles kept many away, and that is something I understand all too well.

My only regrets of the night are that we didn’t take a class photo and that my husband couldn’t be there with me. But, there is always the next reunion… be it in 5 or 10 years. I’m already looking forward to it.