Category Archives: friends

Am I an adult?

A few days ago, I had this weird realization hit me. I’m 34; I turn 35 in 8 months. (I know a lot of people just rolled their eyes at this… hang with me here.)

My 30s are going to be half over! Or maybe I should look at it that I have half my 30s left.

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Either way, I’m not a kid any more. Not even close. But I also find myself wondering when I’m going to have that moment of, “I’m an adult now.”

I mean, I’m married. I’ve bought a house. I’m starting a business. I’ve done a whole bunch of totally grown-up things. I think I think like an adult. I hang out with adults…

Growing up, I was always the oldest person in my group of friends. After getting married and moving to Nashville, I am now generally the YOUNGEST person in a group. So you’d think I’d feel like an adult more than ever.

But there are plenty of things I still think I’m 18 about. Like I think I can eat anything and not gain a pound. Or if I do gain weight I can drop in two days still. I think I can still just break out in a dead run and do a 400 meter dash and only be kinda winded. I think I can fall asleep in the car and not have a neck ache afterwards.   I figure I still have YEARS before things like a yearly mammogram will apply to me. I don’t have an 8-5 job that I wear dress pants and button down shirts to every day. And I don’t have everything figured out, like I used to think adults did when I was a kid.

I guess I do, though, realize my age when I don’t think about it too hard.

When bartending, I regularly looked out at college-age and clearly-fresh-out-of-college 20-somethings with a weary eye knowing that I no longer had the amount of patience I had back then for their thought processes. I gain a lot of entertainment reading teens tweets and the fact that their life is bound to end because someone broke up with them. (I also spend more time than I’ll admit Googling what they say so I can understand.)

I find myself very thankful social media didn’t exist when I was 16.

I went out with my friends on Saturday night, and we ended up having long conversations about health. People we know with cancer was one long part of the conversation, and afterwards I commented how we used to talk about guys that in depth.

We spoke of loss. We talked jobs, traffic and keeping our homes. we talked about how much things cost. We talked babies, and dreams.

It’s natural. It’s where we are in life…

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Perhaps I am over analytically thinking. In fact I know I am. And perhaps this is some weird midlife crisis in which I go through this weird denial that time is passing faster than I like to admit.

I love that I’ve been married over 8 years, though it doesn’t FEEL that long until I look back at all we’ve already been through together. Sometimes I think I should have myself together a lot more by now. Other times I know there are many, many years still to come and we’re always growing and learning.

It’s just going to keep getting better.

IMG_20150316_044443None of us ever have it all figured out. That’s just part of life. Just like getting older. We learn to adjust and figure it out as we go… and I suppose its with that realization that I know I AM an adult.

 

Christmas traditions: New & Old

While sitting and staring blankly at my iPad trying to come up with a blog post, my husband suggested “Christmas Traditions.” Hmmm… Maybe he is onto something. After all, a big part of the magic of Christmas is honoring old traditions while making new ones.

For example, a new tradition is going to see Ice! and drive through the Dancing Lights of Jellystone park with friends. A bunch of big kids sliding down the ice slide, oohing and ahhing over the ice sculptures while bundled up in big blue puffy coats. Then a drive through the lights, ending with a picture with Santa. I love this tradition! I look forward to it now every year!

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Ready to see Christmas lights!

 

Meanwhile, an old tradition I love that my family has kept up is having a birthday cake for Jesus on Christmas day. We used to do that with my grandparents, and we continue it still today. It’s just another way, outside of attending midnight mass, we are keeping Christ in Christmas!

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Birthday cake for Jesus.

 

Sometimes, traditions have to change. One tradition that will have to change next year is our Christmas party with friends at the bar. I’ve come to love decorating the bar, then there is the big Dirty Santa gift exchange. It’s always a ton of laughs and a room filled with love. With the bar closing, we will have to find a way to recreate or move it. Because those friendships are too dear to let some hotel and investors take it away.

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Fiddle family Christmas memories.

 

So tell me, what are some of your favorite traditions… Old or new!

The people in your life

rich in friendsIn college, I took a lot of Sociology classes. It wasn’t that I was interested in the field of study in the least bit. In fact, I generally hated the classes with a passion. Too much reading. It was boring. And it was just not something I wanted to study.

But. They fit in my schedule and filled a needed credit. So I took them. A lot of them. I was probably only a course or two away from a solid minor in the subject. I was so disinterested in the subject, though, that I never even bothered to check for sure or try to get that qualification on my diploma.

Fast forward 11 years, and I’ve found myself fascinated with human social interactions. I’m fascinated by how people gravitate to each other and how they interact with one another. I’m fascinated with, you guessed it, sociology. With a solid dash of psychology. Perhaps its a “side effect” of being a bartender. After all, I’m doctor, therapist and baby sitter to many patrons week in and week out. (Heavy emphasis on baby sitter. How on Earth do so many people lose their phones!?)

But outside of that, I’m fascinated with my OWN social interactions. I often sit back and think about my friends and how diverse they are. I can pinpoint at least seven “groups” of friends, each one different due to how they fit each nuance of my personality and life. I can’t imagine not having any one of them in my life.

They’ve all shaped me and taught me things about the world as well as about myself. Sometimes friends are the best mirror you could ever hope to have.

IMG_20141006_205622Take just last night, for example. We had a Road Widows meet up in East Nashville. We met at No. 308, and awesome little bar that I didn’t even know existed.

Two-thirds of the group were women I’ve come to consider friends, as we’ve all attended multiple meet-ups over the last year or so. The others were “new-to-the-group” but they fit right in like they’d been there all along. I left feeling like I’d made two more friends in the few hours we sat and had drinks. “Find me on Facebook” was bantered across the table as we gathered our purses and paid our tabs.

The best part of the night, though? It was spent with people who GET the weird and crazy life of being married to someone on the road, because they, too, live it. We could go, “I love my husband, but man am I glad he’s on the road for a few weeks so I can get a lot of work done!” And we all understood, laughing and nodding along. We all shared stories candidly, knowing we could be honest without being judged. It was… amazing.

The people in your life inevitably make a huge impact on you. I feel like I’ve surrounded myself with amazing, positive forces in this world. Not just the women of Road Widows, but alumni of my university, musicians, fellow bartenders, old friends that never leave my heart and side, and the angels of CASA, just to name a few.

I feel like I can face anything, thanks to these people. And you know… that faith and confidence and LOVE that surrounds me is worth more than a million dollars in the bank.