Musician's Widow

I had to put all my writing and designing work on pause yesterday. It was a totally domestic day.

Domestic - adj. – of or relating to the household or the family or devoted to home duties and pleasures

Since getting married, I’ve grown to hold a new respect for my mom and all moms out there. Keeping a house is a lot of work! Anyone who looks at a Stay a Home Mom (or Stay at Home Wife) and thinks, “Boy they must enjoy just laying around at home all day.” THINK AGAIN. Keeping a home is a never-ending job!

My day started with scouring the internet and mail inserts for coupons. I am all about trying to save where I can when I can. I’ve not totally mastered the art of coupon-shopping, but I think I do a decent job nonetheless.

Then I checked the account and figure up how much money I had available for groceries and fuel for the truck. After a quick bowl of cereal, I was out the door and off. Three hours later, I came home having only broken my self-imposed limit by $10. Not bad; thanks to the calculator I’d tucked in my purse. Tax always throws me here, though. In Texas there’s no tax on groceries. Here, the tax is different on groceries than from other items, and its that discrepancy that got me.

I had a hard time getting motivated to tackle my next task: clean the house from top to bottom. I liked too many shows on TV tonight, and they kept beckoning to me to come sit on the couch instead of work. Instead, I took a break to fully watch one show. All the rest were background noise.

Bathrooms have been scrubbed, all floors cleaned, kitchen clean, guest bedroom vacuumed and fresh sheets on the bed (I have guests coming!), my own sheets cleaned and put back in place, office relatively clean (as clean as it’s going to get), and a million other little tasks that have been needing to be done… got done.

See, I generally save my cleaning for when my husband is on the road. And even with that, I usually leave it for Friday or Saturday. However, as I said, I have guests coming, and the job had to be done early.

It feels good to be lounging on the couch with my laptop, sipping a glass of wine, looking around at my clean house knowing it looks good. Knowing that now I can relax and enjoy my company. Knowing that its one more thing off my to do list…

…until next weekend. When many of my tasks will come due again.

It never ends. My hats off to those women who keep a clean house while raising children and holding down a full-time job. I know you can say its a labor of love. I know what I did today is because I am both proud of my home, but also because I want to open my home to the people I care about and know they’ll feel comfortable.

But I’m beat! Kudos to those who juggle all angles of domesticity.  It’s a lot of work, and I admire every one of you.

I am flying home today. And yet, I’m at home.

I’m blessed with two homes. The one I have with my husband and our crazy, wonderful life in Nashville. The other in Texas where I grew up and where my family is. Like I wrote in a note to my brother tonight, “I have the best of both worlds. I am happy to be going, but I am sad to be leaving.”

How wonderful a feeling, to know you have two places that you are loved and that you call “home.” I am truly blessed and so very thankful.

Today, as I fly home to Nashville, I wanted to pass along a challenge for today to be a day for Random Acts of Kindness.

See, my sister-in-law’s second cousin was killed in a car accident last month.

She was only 16.

Today would have been her 17th birthday.

I didn’t know Lauren personally, but I know she meant a the world to her family and friends. I’ve read and heard many stories in the last few weeks about the good she did in her short life — kindness that many of us dream to aspire to do, and yet somehow often will fall short.

Her loved ones decided a way to honor her memory would be to make what would have been her birthday be a day to commit “random acts of kindness” in Lauren’s memory.

[Article from KBTX - Bryan/College Station about the movement.]

This world is so filled with an “all about me” mentality. I think a day to focus on someone else would be refreshing. And to have to be in memory of a life cut short? Well, that’s an added bonus.

I will be flying from Austin, TX to Nashville, TN today. And I fully intend that somewhere in between — or perhaps a few times in between — to participate in this day of good deeds…

Won’t you join us?

I was born and raised in Texas, but I call Nashville, Tennessee home now. However, from January – April, I spend more time in Texas than in Tennessee.

See, my parents own and operate a bookkeeping and income tax preparation service. I’ve worked for them off and on for over ten years, and in the past couple of years we’ve realized something. They need the help during tax season, and its the time of year that my husband and I desperately need one of us working more steadily. So, instead of them hiring someone else that they’d have to train, and instead of me finding some part-time temp work, we discover a win-win situation for us all.

Win-win outside of the fact that I am away from home for weeks at a time. We joke that its the time of year in which I go on the road for work. Its work that I do honestly enjoy. There’s a nice familiarity to it, and it is kind of fun! (Besides, how can you not be grateful for the opportunity to spend quality time with your parents?)

Then come summer, its my husband who goes on the road for work for days — occasionally weeks — at a time. He’ll be off doing his job which is a huge part of who he is. Music is, I think, actually part of his genetic make-up! It’s that much a part of him.

Needless to say, within all of this, we’re good at being apart. Doesn’t mean we LIKE it. It just means we’re not going to fall apart being apart.

So here I am, writing from home. Nashville-home. Wishing I could make these next few hours stretch and lengthen. Tomorrow, I head back to Texas to finish out tax season, and I won’t be back home for over a month. Luckily, my husband’s job will bring him within a few hours of me in a few weeks, so I’ll at least get to spend a little while with him before I go home. I’ll be looking forward to that more than anyone knows.

See, as cheesy as the line has become thanks to a certain movie, we really do complete each other. It’s why we’re married and best friends! We both have an extra spring in our step when we’re together. To quote a card my husband gave me when I came home last week: “Good things are twice as fun… Bad things are only half as bad.”

That being said, I am left sitting here pondering the fact that both locations are places I consider “home.” One being where my roots are. The other being where I am laying new roots. Both places have their own rhythm. Both places have elements that I love. Both places have elements I dislike. But in the end… they’re both a part of me.

So every time I fly from one location to another, I feel excited and happy. I also feel an element of sadness to be leaving wherever I am leaving — be it Texas or Nashville. It’s a strange feeling. A strange place to be in. And yet its nice. Nice to have two places to call home.

Home is where the is love. And the more love a person has, the better off they are. Because its more valuable than gold. More precious than diamonds. It’s home.